Gordie was standing right outside the school building talking to a girl named Caroline that he had just met. She was about two inches shorter than him, had long wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, and the most adorable laugh he had ever heard in his life. He wondered what him and Chris had made on that science project…hopefully it would be good, Chris needed the good grade. Just then he saw the object of his thoughts walking toward him.
"Chris! Over here!" Gordie shouted to get Chris' attention.
"Hi Gordie" Chris said, sounding a bit uncomfortable.
Suddenly, Gordie got an idea…he was planning on telling Chris today, why not see how he would react to Gordie's 'straightness'.
"This here is Caroline. Caroline, this is my friend Chris" Gordie said, putting his arm around Caroline's waist.
Chris forced his lips into what Gordie would have sworn was a genuine smile if he hadn't been able to see his eyes. "Hey Caroline" Chris said, shaking her hand.
"Nice to meet you, Chris" Caroline said with a girlish giggle. Chris had to bite the inside of his cheek not to roll his eyes.
Just then the warning bell for first period rang.
"Well, Caroline, it was nice to meet you. See ya around" Gordie said, giving her a quick, casual hug and noticing Chris' expression.
"Okay…Bye Chris, see ya later" Caroline said giggling again as she walked away.
"See ya" Chris said with a tight, ironic smile.
"So, what did you think of Carrie?" Gordie asked, watching Chris closely.
"She's…nice." Chris said, trying to sound sincere.
"Isn't she? She's got the cutest laugh in the world doesn't she? She real hot too. And friendly. Didn't you think? I think I'm gonna ask her out for this weekend" Gordie said, having no intention of doing so.
"That's…nice" Chris said, his lips compressed into a thin line. "I gotta go the other way" Chris said a bit too casually.
Gordie just smiled to himself and walked on.
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In gym Mr. Hurst said that they were going to an activity about trust. They were supposed to pair up and take turns a few feet away from their partner and falling into their arms. Chris and Gordie automatically migrated toward each other and got started.
"You wanna go first or me?" Gordie asked Chris.
"Well you weigh less, so it would probably be a good idea to have you go first till we have a better idea what we're doing" Chris responded.
"What? You don't trust me?" Gordie asked innocently.
"Not one bit right now" Chris responded smartly.
"That hurts Chris, right here" Gordie said thumping his chest.
"Sorry your boob hurts, now lets get started already" Chris said with a laugh.
"Fine, I see how it is" Gordie said getting in front of Chris. He looked over his shoulder, "You better not drop me, shitheap"
"Somehow, I think I'll be able to hold up your fatass self for a few seconds, but just because I'm so amazingly strong." Chris said sarcastically, putting his arms out to catch Gordie.
"Ha fucking ha, Chris" Gordie said, not laughing.
Gordie let himself fall back. He felt himself fall for a few seconds, then suddenly felt himself jerked to a halt and pushed into an upright position. Chris had caught him…again.
"See! It was hard, but somehow I handled it." Chris said with a smile as they switched places.
"Shut the fuck up" was Gordie's only response.
After Chris had turned around, Gordie took a few steps forward and when Chris fell backward, he purposely let them both gall to the ground. As they fell, Chris thought quick enough to turn himself around so that he could take part of his weight on his hands and not completely crush Gordie.
"Well Hi there" said Gordie, who's hands had 'landed' on Chris' back. Instead of pulling his hands off, he casually let them slide off. Gordie did not miss the fact that Chris immediately jumped up and put out a hand to help Gordie up. Gordie calmly put his hand in Chris' and pulled himself up.
"Sorry about that, Chris. I guess I just hadn't braced myself yet" Gordie said, sounding completely innocent.
"Whatever Lachance, you suck" Chris said.
"Here, let me try again. I promise I won't drop you." Gordie said, taking his place behind Chris.
"I don't think so Einstein" Chris said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Seriously man, I won't drop you!" Gordie said indignantly.
"Fine. But if you drop me, I'm gonna kick your ass." Chris said turning around "I'm turning around now. I'm gonna fall now. Okay? Brace yourself…I'm falling" Chris said then promptly fell. This time Gordie caught Chris with absolutely no problem.
"See? I told ya." Gordie said smugly.
"Yeah" Chris said, confused.
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Chris was totally confused by the end of the day. First this morning, with Caroline. Then in gym, with the falling and the sliding of hands. Then, last but not least, at lunch, the way Gordie had acted, accidentally bumping shoulders with him, accidentally running his bare foot which he had slipped out of its sandal down Chris' calf when he went to put it on the bar of the table that Chris had already been using as a footrest. Not to mention how close he had been walking to Chris in the halls. Gordie was definitely not very good at this whole, being sympathetic of your gay friend, thing. Chris had no idea how he was going to deal with this every day for the rest of the year.
"Chris!" Chris heard Gordie call.
"Hey Gordo" Chris responded, turning around to face him.
"Do you think you could meet me at the treehouse a couple hours after school? Like, 5:00?" Gordie asked.
"Why so late?" Chris wanted to know.
"…to give me time to get my homework." Gordie responded.
"Okay, well, yeah, that should be cool" Chris said, nodding.
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Gordie sat in the treehouse a few hours later, waiting for Chris to show up. He had been so happy and confident all day, but now that it came down to punch time, he was nervous as hell. He knew it made no sense for him to be, he knew Chris liked him, but he couldn't help it. His mind kept playing different scenarios of what would happen, none of them were good. What if he didn't believe him? What if he laughed in his face? What if he got mad at him for the way he had acted today? Fuck. That had been really stupid. Gordie considered leaving and making up some excuse for not showing up…he could say that he hadn't been able to get out of the house because his dad had been being an ass. Yeah, that would work!……………no…he couldn't do that, he wasn't going to play with Chris' emotions, he had been enough of an ass as it was, Chris had been honest, he owed him the same trust. Just then the choice was taken away, Chris' popped through the trap door.
"Hey Gordo" Chris said, sitting down in a seat a little ways away from Gordie.
"Hi" Gordie said, looking at Chris, having made a decision, he picked up the seat right next to Chris and moved it right in front of him and sat down.
"What's up, Gordie? What did you wanna meet for?" Chris asked, not understanding what a pivotal point this was for Gordie.
"I wanted to tell you something" was all Gordie said.
"What?" Chris asked.
"How about that science project? An A! That's awesome ain't it? We work great together, don't we?" Gordie asked, stalling.
"Yeah, I really needed that grade, but it had nothing to do with me…it was all you Gordo" Chris said.
"Whatever, you're just as smart as me, we're just good at different things" Gordie said defensively.
"Yeah, which works out fine for me, whatever I don't understand, you do." Chris said with a smile "But I know that's not what you wanted to meet about, we could have had this conversation on the phone."
"Yeah" Gordie said with a laugh "You're right, that's not why I asked you to meet me…" Gordie came to a halt, losing his nerve.
"Well? You planning on telling me what this is about shitface?" Chris asked, giving Gordie an odd look.
"Well, you see…last night I was thinking…" Gordie said slowly.
"Good Gordie, so you finally figured out what that gray peanut in your head is for? I knew you'd figure it out eventually, if I was just persistent." Chris said laughing.
"Go screw! I was trying to be serious here." Gordie said, punching Chris in the shoulder lightly.
"You're so abusive Gordie" Chris said, rubbing his shoulder like it hurt.
"I know, I should be locked away" Gordie said, rolling his eyes, getting back to the subject.
"So what were you saying?" Chris asked
"What?…oh…well, I was thinking last night" Gordie asked again.
I think we've established that." Chris said with a smile.
"Smartass…well, I was sitting there last night, and I think…maybe…I like you" Gordie said, looking away.
"That's good, I was wondering. I wike you too Gowdie, cuzz we'we fwends." Chris said in a babyish voice, completely not understanding what Gordie was trying to say.
"No…I mean…I like you. As in, the way you like me." Gordie said lamely.
"You trying to tell me you have a man-crush on me Lachance?" Chris asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Well…yeah, to put it bluntly." Gordie said, not liking Chris' expression.
"Wow" Chris said simply.
"I know man…" Gordie said with a smile.
"Wow…I mean, I always knew you were a good friend, but I guess I never thought you would do something this big. Wow. I really appreciate that you would do something this big for me, but I'll be fine…really." Chris said, misunderstanding.
"What are you talking about?" Gordie said, completely confused.
"Gordie, stop it, seriously. I appreciate that you're such a good friend that you would do something like this because you want me to be happy. But it's not necessary, really." Chris said, putting a hand on Gordie's shoulder.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Gordie asked, starting to understand what Chris was trying to say.
"That you were willing to try to be with me…wow. You're amazing do you know that?" Chris said, shaking his head.
"What the FUCK are you talking about?" Gordie asked, starting to get mad and shooting out of his chair. Chris thought this some kind of pity thing!? What the fuck?
"Gordie, seriously, it's fine." Chris said.
"WHAT…THE…FUCK!?!? You think this is some kind of pity thing? That I'm just making this up because I feel bad for you? Chris! You should know me better than that." Gordie said in a hurt yet angry voice.
"Okay, Gordie, that's enough. It was a nice thought, and almost kind of cute at first, but this is just cruel. Stop bullshitting me man, it's not cool. I was handling this whole thing just fine! This whole false hope thing is just wrong! It's wrong, and its mean, and I thought you were better than that" Chris said, getting up to leave. He was seriously upset now.
"I am better than that man! What the fuck kind of asshole do you think I am that I would do something like that. Why would I do something that I knew could only hurt you more? You're my best friend you asshole!" Gordie shouted.
"Maybe you would do it because you thought you were helping me?! Well I don't want your fucking sacrifice!" Chris shouted back…why was it necessary for him to rip his heart out twice? Once wasn't enough?
"SACRIFICE!! What the fuck Chris?! I never lie to you, why would I start with something this big?" Gordie asked, not understanding Chris' reasoning.
"Maybe because it's so big? Maybe because you can't stand to see me unhappy, and being the person you are, hate that you're causing it. You figure maybe you'll adjust to the idea, as long as I'm not in pain. Well this hurts worse than not being with you ever did. I don't want your sacrifice, dude, sincerely. I would never take away your happiness like that. And besides, I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't seriously want to be with me" Chris finished in a quiet voice, looking down at the ground.
Gordie, not knowing what to say, just looked at Chris in a sad, silent kind of way. Chris stood there, very uncomfortable, wishing Gordie would say something…anything. Suddenly Chris felt Gordie grab the back of his head. Gordie gently, but firmly placed his lips on Chris'. He tried to put all the feelings he had been having over the past twenty-four hours into the kiss. Chris was so shocked he hardly reacted at all. After a second or two, Gordie pulled back, a smile on his lips.
"Did that feel like someone who doesn't seriously want to be with you?" Gordie asked "Cuzz if it did, then I must be doing something wrong" Gordie said with a chuckle.
Chris just stood there. Gordie had just kissed him. Holy fuck! Gordie had just kissed him! Chris felt like his world had just been turned upside-down. For a second he considered pinching himself to see if he was dreaming, but decided against it…if that kiss was any kind of reference, he was most definitely awake…and if he wasn't, he didn't want to wake up. And then something occurred to him…Gordie had just kissed him…and he hadn't reacted at all! Chris looked up at Gordie and saw that he was trying to be funny, but was feeling very awkward. Chris almost laughed out loud with pure joy.
"No Gordie, there was definitely nothing wrong with that" Chris finally said.
Gordie just kind of laughed a little awkwardly.
"…well…maybe there was one thing wrong with it." Chris said as an afterthought.
"And what would that be, Chambers?" Gordie said, getting his confidence back.
"This" Chris said as he pulled Gordie in for a real kiss.