Authors Note: First and foremost, I am sooo completely sorry for taking so long to update!! I know its been forever, I promise next chapter will be up sometime this week. Enjoy!!

Chris stopped outside the door, taking a deep breath, bracing himself for his first class with Gordie. His stomach was churning with emotion and growling from hunger, he hadn't dared eat anything today. Somehow he didn't think he would seem very indifferent if he puked all over Gordie the first time he confronted him. He took one more breath to sooth his frazzled nerves, fixed a bored expression on his face and walked into the door. He had just gotten ready to randomly pick a chair just far enough away from Gordie to not be obvious, and close enough to a cute girl to make it seem like he cared, when he noticed that Gordie hadn't gotten to class yet. Chris carefully chose a seat with no empty ones around it and sat down, waiting to see what Gordie would do. It wasn't for about ten more minutes that Chris realized that Gordie wasn't coming. Chris automatically started worrying if something had happened…what if those jerks had taken it one step to far? Damn it! He knew he shouldn't have left Gordie alone with them! He was such a selfish asshole! He had known he wouldn't be able to keep the act up much longer, so he had left Gordie alone with those assholes! The churning in Chris' stomach intensified as horrific scenes of Gordie beat to a bloody pulp played through his head. Oh jeez. He was gonna puke! It felt really hot in the classroom suddenly. Chris' hand shot into the air.

"What is it Chris?"

"Can I go to the bathroom, Mrs. Gonzales?" Chris asked a little frantically.

"Sure" the teacher replied, turning back to the chalkboard.

Chris quickly walked to the door and pushed into the hall blindly. He ran down the hall as quick as he could, trying not to think. He saw the back door to the school before he saw a bathroom and pushed it open. Once he got out onto the porch, he leaned over, bracing his hands on his knees, sure he was going to be sick. He stood there like that for a couple minutes, taking deep, shaky breaths, trying to sooth his burning stomach. When he finally felt confident he wasn't going to be sick, he straightened up and sat on one of the steps, trying to decide what to do. Once he got himself calmed down, he realized that they probably hadn't done anything to Gordie, not with that many people around. They knew they couldn't afford it…they were already on probation, and besides, him and Gordie weren't that important to them, they were just a cheap laugh to them. Chris realized this, but still didn't feel good about the situation. He'd feel a lot better if he could just see Gordie and assure himself that he was okay…Gordie couldn't know that he cared, though. Chris decided that he'd just go peek into his window. He'd get a glance at Gordie, see that he was fine, then slip away unnoticed. He got up and started down the street, not thinking a thing about skipping, knowing that no one would care…this was what they expected from him anyways.

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Chris walked quietly up to the wall of Gordie's house, right next to the window that he knew was Gordie's, stood against the wall for a second, then glanced through the window quickly, scanning the room for Gordie. He wasn't there…damn. Chris continued looking around for a second, trying to figure out what he was gonna do now. He had just come to the conclusion that he didn't really have a choice to make, and was about to leave when Gordie came through the door into his bedroom, towel-drying his still-wet hair, and wearing nothing but another towel, haphazardly hanging unevenly around his hips. Chris felt his heart jump into his throat in shock, jerking back into his position against the wall so fast that he hit his head against the hard brick. 'That was close' Chris thought as he stood there 'Well, I still saw what I needed to see…there was definitely nothing wrong with Gordie.

"Chris?" Gordie asked, opening the window and sticking his wet head out of it and looking directly at Chris.

"HOLY FUCK!" Chris exclaimed, jumping back, his left hand shooting to the center of his chest in shock.

"What are you doing here?" Gordie asked, confused and shocked, but undeniably pleased…Chris still cared.

Chris just stared at Gordie, not knowing what in the world he could say to help the situation.

"Come on in" Gordie said, backing away from the window "We need to talk, and I'm getting a crick in my neck"

"Um…okay" Chris said, and, not knowing what else to do, crawled through the window.

"Turn around for a sec., okay?" Gordie asked.

Chris turned around while Gordie put on some boxers.

"okay, you can turn around" Gordie said.

When Chris did, he noticed Gordie walking from the locked window to the door, locking it too.

"What are you doing?" Chris asked.

"Locking you in" Gordie said casually "you're not running away this time, we need to talk, and it's gonna happen now" Gordie said.

"Oh" Chris said, feeling a bit nervous.

"Sit" Gordie said pointing to the bed, and opting for the floor in front of the door, himself.

Chris sat down.

"Do you want to start, or do you want me to?" Gordie asked, cutting to the point.

Chris stared at him silently.

"Right…I guess that means me…okay." Gordie sat there for a moment, thinking "Chris? Look at me, okay?" Chris looked up at him "I know what I said, and I know that it scared you…freaked you out. I should have thought about that before I said it, and I'm sorry…I seem to say that to you a lot, don't I?" Gordie said with a sad smile "Anyways…I also know that you don't return the feelings, and probably never will, and I'm not going to try to pressure you into it, or make you feel guilty for not loving me back. That's right, I said it…try not to look quite so terrified, okay?" Gordie said with a self-depreciating smile. "I don't expect you to feel the same way. That's not the way you work, and I knew that when I got into this relationship, I've always known it. And part of loving someone is accepting the person exactly as they are, flaws and all. Your feelings about love are one of the many things about you that make up Chris Chambers, and I love all of him. And, although I'm not putting pressure on you, I'm also not going to deny it, because that's not how I work. And, lastly, regardless of how you feel about 'this…us'," Gordie said, using the same pointing motion Chris had the night before "I don't want to lose our friendship, and I don't see any reason why we should. It may not be the same as it was before, but anything is better than nothing. And I don't know a lot of things right now, Chris, but I know I don't want nothing." Gordie sat there for a moment, waiting for Chris' reply "That's all…your turn" he said with a joking smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"No" was all Chris said. He said it calmly. He didn't get up and try to run out of the room. He didn't look panicked or scared. He just sat there and looked a Gordie with a look of calm resignation. It was that look that scared Gordie, more than the word.

"What do you mean 'No'?" he asked, standing up.

"It wouldn't work." Chris stated, not really looking at Gordie anymore, kind of staring off into space, an eerie calm about him.

Gordie started to panic "Why wouldn't it work Chris? Why wouldn't it work? I wouldn't start acting all pussy if that's what you mean. I wouldn't act any different than I always have. I wouldn't, I swear! I can be normal, Chris, I swear I can!" Gordie said, his voice getting thick with emotion.

"It doesn't matter, Gordo. We can never be 'just friends' again. It would never be the same, it would always be weird and awkward. And if we tried, it would just stain the good memories we have, and I don't want that. Don't give me that look, Gordie, it was bound to happen some time…it wasn't like we were going to stay friends forever or something" Chris said, never raising his voice or moving his gaze from that random place on the wall. This time it was Gordie who walked away.

When Gordie got home, Chris wasn't there. Gordie wasn't surprised at this, and was almost even glad. He didn't now how he would have reacted if he had been. He blindly headed for his bed, not bothering to turn on the light, he pulled off his pants (he had never put a shirt on) and got into bed. As soon as he laid down, he heard, as well as felt, the crinkling of paper underneath him. Knowing what it was, he got it out from underneath him and headed to the wall and turned the light on to read the note "

Gordie,

It was great knowing you, bye.

Chris.

That was all the shit-ass note said! Gordie was appalled! He didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or scream. That piss-ass note didn't come near to doing this justice! That was how he said goodbye to him!…but at the same time, it was so completely Chris: short, to the point, and hits you right in the center of the heart. Then he noticed the writing on the very bottom of the page, put there as if against better judgment, and done quickly, before he could think better of it.

I won't forget you…ever.

That was all it said, but it was more than enough…all indecision gone, Gordie slowly walked over to his bed, not bothering with the light, laid down, pulled his knees to his chest, and let out all the tears he had been holding in for more than a week. Feeling like a fragile, empty, numb shell of himself when he was done, as though if someone were to touch him he would shatter.