A/N: Okay, sorry this one took so long to update, I really did have every intention of having it up within a week or so of the last one, but I lost my disk!! After numerous panic attacks and strokes, I found it, so here it is. Feedback is highly appreciated!! I really don't like this chapter very much, I went through it quite a few times, and this is as good as its going to gets. Oh well, here it is. Hope you enjoy!! ::bites fingernails as I wait for replies::

Gordie walked into the school building, dreading the day ahead. He had considered staying home, but he had a test he couldn't miss. And besides, he had to deal with Chris sooner or later. As he walked to his locker, he saw Chris leaning against the wall like he always did, talking to Brigit! As he passed them, Chris saw him and waved, a huge smile on his face. Well, obviously, he wasn't going to let this go easily. Shit. This was worse than when he had thought Chris hated him. At least then he hadn't had to resist Chris when every time he saw him all he wanted to do was hold him and forget everything over the past months. Gordie walked up to his locker and was getting the books for his first class out when he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder. He immediately tensed up and turned around, bracing himself to deal with whatever Chris had to say.

"Man, you look like shit!"

"Oh! Vern, hi" Gordie said, relief flooding through him.

"Who'd you think it would be?" Vern asked with a huge grin.

"Nobody, you just startled me" Gordie lied through his teeth.

"Wanna do something after school?" Vern asked the back of Gordie's head.

"Sure" Gordie replied nonchalantly.

"Hey, girls, how's it going?" Chris asked, walking up to Vern and Gordie as they started down the hall and putting an arm around each of their shoulders.

"Hi Chris! Wow, man, I haven't seen you in forever! Gordie, me, and possibly Teddy are gonna hang out after school. Wanna come?" Vern's open and friendly voice asked.

"Sure what are we doing?" Chris asked casually, his heart speeding up a fraction at the thought of hanging out with Gordie, even if it was just as friends and around other people. Chris would take what he could get.

"Well, I was thinking we could go--"

"I can't come" Gordie cut in suddenly.

"Huh? But you just said you could" said a very confused Vern who didn't miss the sudden sagging of Chris' body next to him. Something was going on.

"Yeah…well…sorry…see, I just remembered I have this thing I have to do after school." Gordie said lamely.

"What kind of thing?" Vern asked, as Chris sighed.

"Well…my dad's been real pissed lately, and I think I should probably just stay home tonight, plus I have a ton of homework." Gordie said quickly.

"Well, you could call Chris when you get done with your homework and then we could all come over to your house" Vern concluded.

"Naw, that would probably piss him off worse than me not being there. Don't worry about it, you guys hang out, it's cool." Gordie said as the warning bell rang.

"Well, if you're sure…" Vern said to Gordie's retreating back. "You're still coming, right Chris?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever" Chris said distractedly, watching Gordie's retreating form.

Vern just stood there and stared at Chris. He was kind of surprised that he was still coming. He had thought that if Gordie wasn't going to be there, Chris would lose interest. That's how it was most of the time these days, Chris and Gordie, and him and Teddy. Then he noticed that Chris was still staring blankly at the spot that Gordie had just occupied. Okay, something was definitely up.

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Gordie walked into Science class, exhausted and ready for the day to be over. He was tired of having to see Chris' smiling face and having to walk away from his cheerfulness. This really wasn't fucking fair. He sat down in the seat he had gotten into the habit of sitting in. Not even thinking about it, he got his book out and started working on the assignment on the board. He was so busy trying to find a particularly hard question that he didn't even notice Chris sit down in front of him until he turned the book sideways and turned back a couple of pages and turned it back to face Gordie.

"It's somewhere in this paragraph" Chris said helpfully with a huge grin.

"Thanks" Gordie said meekly, not looking away from the book.

Chris sighed "Gordie, I really am sorry. I know I screwed up. I know I don't deserve another chance, or you, for that matter, but I'm still asking for one, for you. Because I've realized that, regardless of what I do or don't deserve, I can't survive this fucked up world without you. Because, corny as it might sound, you're what keeps me sane. You always know how to help when I'm upset. When I need to just not think about it, you always know, and you can always make me laugh, even when I don't want to. And then, when I'm ready to talk, you always know, and you're right there waiting to listen. I need you. I love you Gordie. I'm in love with you. I know it doesn't mean much now, but I didn't just realize this and I'm NOT just saying this to get into your pants. You HAVE to know that. Not that I don't want to" Chris said suggestively with a raise of his eyebrows. "Sorry, sorry, shouldn't have said that last bit. But seriously, you have to realize that I've always loved you, heck, I probably loved you before I even realized what love was……no response? That's okay, I didn't expect you to just automatically forgive me, but I'm willing to wait however long I have to. I may be an asshole, but I'm your asshole, and you're stuck with me, so you might as well get used to the idea. I'm not going to give up." Chris said with conviction, then pushed the hair off of Gordie's face so he could see his eyes, not caring who saw, or what they would make of it. "I love your hair" Chris said, running his fingers through it a couple of times, with that, he turned around and got to work, not saying another word to Gordie the rest of the period.

Gordie looked at the back of Chris' head, trying to breath past the lump in his throat. He hated this. Part of him wished that he had never found out about Chris' feelings for him and that everything was back to normal. But the other part of him, the part he didn't like right now, knew that whether or not he had found out about Chris' feelings for him, he would have realized his own feelings, and that no matter what, something had been bound to happen eventually. And besides, he wouldn't trade that short period of happiness for anything. Gordie looked up at the clock and watched the minutes drag by, the assignment forgotten.

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Gordie trudged up to his locker, glad the day was finally over. Now he only had four more to get through! Joy! Gordie opened his locker with a deep scowl on his face. A piece of paper fell out and he impatiently picked it up, thinking it was an old worksheet or something. He was about to stuff it into his locker unceremoniously when he noticed the writing on it…it was Chris'. Gordie slowly opened it, bracing himself.

Dearest Gordie,

I know you don't want to talk to me right now, so I didn't even bother to try to say this in person. I'm not going to give up, no matter how hard you try to push me away. You never gave up on me, and I'm not going to give up on us. I can't. We've been through so much that I hope there's at least some tiny piece of you that still wants this, and I figure if I bug you enough, maybe that piece of you will convince the rest of you to give me another chance. I know I've screwed up really bad and that I hurt you But I love you.

Yours truly (seriously),

CC

P.S. Jeez, do you see how corny you make me? I sound like one of those saps in the movies.

Gordie read the last bit through a haze of tears. Damn him! Why did he have to make this so hard!! Gordie slammed his locker shut and slid down the wall, pulled his knees up to his chest so that he could have a good cry, but there weren't any tears left.

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When Gordie got home that night, it was dark outside, he had done a lot of walking and thinking that night. He trudged up the steps to his porch, opened the front door and walked to his room. He opened the door and dropped his backpack on the floor and walked over to his bed. Not bothering with the light, he shucked off his pants, and plopped onto his bed only to encounter a warm solid body underneath him. Gordie jumped up in shock, and, knowing who it was, walked over and turned on the light.

"I wondered when you would get home" Chris said casually, sitting up in the bed and patting the space next him, motioning Gordie to sit.

"How did you get in here?" Gordie asked, confused.

"Easy, you don't lock you're door so I just got here before your dad got home. I don't think your mom notices much of anything anymore. When I got here Rici was screaming at the top of her lungs and she hadn't even noticed. I went in there and it turned out she had a dirty diaper, so I changed it and all was well in the world of Rici again."

"Damn…I should have been here" Gordie said, feeling guilty "I'm gonna go check on her real quick" with that, he left.

Chris just sat there, knowing that if Mr. Lachance saw him, it would be bad. A few minutes later, Gordie returned. Chris sighed with relief, he hadn't been sure he wouldn't just leave again.

Gordie sat down in his desk chair and looked over at Chris, not saying anything.

"Gordie…" Chris began.

"Why?" Gordie asked suddenly.

"Why?" Chris repeated dumbly.

"Yeah. Why? Why are you doing this Chris? Why are you putting us through this? Why? Do you just enjoy pain?" Gordie asked.

"Of course not, but that's all I feel when I'm not around you, so I'm just trying to do something about it. I hate this. I love you so much…"

"I know you do" Gordie responded.

'You do?" Chris asked, hope flaring in his eyes.

"Yeah, I do. It'd be kind of hard not to." Gordie said with a sad half smile.

"Well, then what's the problem?" Chris asked, a huge smile on his face as he stood up and started walking toward him.

"Because…" Gordie paused as he tried to think of the right words "…you said you've always loved me, right?"

"Always" Chris said without hesitation.

"Well, that means that you were in love with me when you did all of this, so how can I know that you won't do it again. Convince yourself that you're not good enough for me? That I'd be better off without you? Don't you understand? I can't risk that! I just can't! I'm sorry, I wish I was braver and could, but it just hurts too much." Gordie said, barely audible by the end.

Chris moved to kneel between Gordie's knees. "But that's the thing, Gordie, I've never felt good enough for you. I've always felt like I dragged you down with me. But I realized something the other night that I never realized before. You love me. And I love you. And no matter how much I may be bringing you down, it doesn't matter. Because, whatever life you would have with me, you'd rather have that life that whatever you might have without me. And damnit Gordie, I want it too. I may be a selfish bastard for it, but all the same, I want it. And I also realized that you were right, I'm not my dad! And I never will be! Because I want to be something more, and if I'm with you, then I can make it happen. My dad didn't have this. He may have loved my mom at some point, but he never had this. This soul-scorching, gut-clenching intensity. This absolute positivity that you found the one you're supposed to be with, the one you were meant to be with. Because you wouldn't just be my lover or my boyfriend. You're my best friend, my brother, my common sense, my caretaker, my other half, my soul mate. You know, I never knew what that meant. Soul mate. I always thought it sounded so dumb and corny. But now I understand, because it's as if our souls were made to be together. Gordie, I love you so much that it's like a physical ache when I'm not around you, and I feel like an empty shell when you're mad at me. I love everything about you. I love the way your hair falls into you're eyes, I love the way you look so innocent but you're so completely not. I love the way when you listen to someone, it's as if the entire world stops existing for a few minutes, and all that exists it the other person. I love the way you can make everything bad in the world disappear with a smile. I love the way you blush whenever you're embarrassed. I love the way you'll make friends with anyone interested, no matter what they're like, but at the same time you don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about you. I love the way you take the weight of all of your problems and anyone else's who needs it. You're stronger than anyone I know. I love the way you can tell you're dad to fuck off. I love that even after everything he's done to you, you still love him and if he needed you, you'd still be there. I love that all of your kisses feel like the first. In short, I love your body…" Chris looked him up and down suggestively. "your mind," Chris kissed his temple gently, "and your soul" Chris placed his had over Gordie's heart. "I can't promise that I'll never fuck up again, but I swear to you Gordie, that I will, never, ever, intentionally hurt you again. Because, even if I did think I was doing what was best for you, I did know that it would hurt both of us. I just thought it would be better in the long run. I'm sorry. Please take me back"

"Do you mean it?" Gordie asked, looking torn.

"Every single word" Chris said with feeling.

Gordie just sat there for a minute, still looking torn. Chris began to worry that he was going to tell him to leave. He stiffened his back, waiting. Suddenly, Gordie collapsed onto him, as if breaking through some barrier and landing on him. Chris was so caught off guard that Gordie's slight weight knocked him backward, so that Gordie was laying on top of him. Gordie put his arms around him and rested his head on Chris' chest, relaxing. Chris wrapped his arms around Gordie, holding him tight and thanking the lord for bringing Gordie back to him. They lay there like that for a few minutes, content to just lie in each others embrace. Chris kissed the top of Gordie's head, causing him to look up. Chris looked into his eyes and saw so much pure joy there that he felt like he could fly. Gordie slowly leaned up and softly kissed Chris on the lips. It was a quick, soft kiss, but it was enough to send lightning throughout Chris' entire body and make him feel as though his heart would explode with happiness. Gordie slipped his hand under Chris' shirt and slipped his hand up his belly and firm chest to rest on his heart. He noticed Chris shudder and smiled softly.

"Your heart's beating so fast" Gordie said in amazement.

"Yeah, its got a lot of work to do. It just started working again." Chris said softly.

Gordie looked at him and smiled, giving him another, deeper kiss. He gently nipped at Chris' lower lip and Chris immediately opened his mouth to give him access. Gordie simply played with his lips for a few seconds, teasing him. When Chris groaned softly, Gordie slipped his tongue into his mouth and rubbed it against his tongue for just a few seconds before pulling out, placing a heartbreakingly tender kiss in his cheek and laying his head back down on his chest.

"Don't ever leave me again" he said softly.

"Never"

A/N: I know! I know!! There must be a tree over here somewhere, b/c I'm drowning in sap! But what can I say?? It had to be sappy! It's the getting-back-together chapter! You know you still love me!!! Btw, this is NOT the end of the story, I still have a couple of things that need doing. :P