In the Forests of the
Night
A Hikaru no Go Ghost Story
Part 6a: Burnt in the Fire of Thine Eyes
Hikaru was no stranger to the charged atmosphere that proceeded many a Go match. He had watched (as well as played) quite a few tense matches himself, and he had come to relish the electric spark that proceeded such games, had learned to listen to the way everyone held their breath, and had never ceased to be awed at the way the world would narrow down to the stars and crosslines of the goban.
However, he could not remember when a Go crowd had made him quite as nervous as the one that surrounded the raised dais. The fact that most of the audience wanted to and could very well tear him limb from limb probably contributed to this feeling. The creatures parted quite politely though, when he and Sai approached the platform. Amatsu Mikaboshi sat at the far end, and a highly polished goban waited in the center, along with two gleaming bowls of Go stones.
Hikaru had to stuff his hands into his robes to hide the fact that they were shaking. He watched as Sai drew his sleeves out of the way with an elegant sweep of his arms. A light flapping noise accompanied the ghost as he settled across the goban from the Lord of Demons. Hikaru seated himself near the edge of the dais, a little distance away from the two, but in a position which gave him an excellent view of the proceedings.
"If you would, my lord?" Sai offered one of the bowls to the god. Amatsu Mikaboshi accepted it and opened the lid.
"Before we nigiri, I must declare the terms. We will play old style Igo -- no komi rules. However, since this is an ... equal ... game, I will refrain from reading your mind, Fujiwara no Sai," Amatsu Mikaboshi smiled. It was not a pretty sight. "Do you accept?"
Sai bowed his head and dipped his hand into his stones. The Lord of the Autumn Star did the same. Hikaru bit his tongue when he saw the results. Sai had ended up with white, which meant he was now playing with nearly a six stone handicap by modern standards.
"Onigaishimasu," Sai said. The Lord of Hell merely smiled again and placed the first stone on the lower left corner, komoku.
If all he knows is "old school" Go, Hikaru's thoughts brightened, recognizing the move as the one with which Sai had started that first game with Touya Akira, then with all that Sai's learned in the centuries since the Heian Era, we might have a chance ...
"Your disciple seems hopeful," Amatsu Mikaboshi remarked mildly. "Surely he doesn't think that even with your supposedly modern skills, you stand a chance."
Hikaru gaped at the god. The Demon Lord twiddled a few fingers at him in reply. Hikaru swallowed hard; he did not know what jarred him more - the sight of Ultimate Evil making such a casual gesture, or the fact that Ultimate Evil was now giving him a rather disarming, innocent grin.
Meanwhile, Sai had closed his eyes. He had one hand in his Go bowl. Slight clicking noises stirred the air as he chose a stone. He spent a long moment just cradling it between his thumb and index finger, then he performed the familiar "flick" that brought it into playing position. Opening his eyes, Sai spent another few heartbeats studying the goban before bringing the piece down. The sound of stone meeting wood echoed through the clearing. The game had begun.
Amatsu Mikaboshi countered quickly, slapping his stone down even before Sai's had stopped shaking.
The ghost paused again, unfolding his fan and bringing it up to his mouth. Long minutes trickled by. Hikaru's hands twitched within his robes; had the kitsune started playing their drums again, or was that loud pounding sound his heart?
Finally, after what felt like an hour, Sai placed another stone. The God of Evil countered within seconds. This time, the lag between his and Sai's next move took even longer. Hikaru nearly bit through his bottom lip as he waited. Even though the two had yet to move out of fuseki, he knew that Amatsu Mikaboshi would not be easily defeated. Indeed, once Sai put down his stone, the Lord of Demons countered again, almost instantly.
"Shindo! Shindo Hikaru!" a sharp shaking sensation abruptly broke Hikaru's concentration. He turned, ready to snarl at whatever had interrupted him, only to find himself face to snout with Osusuki's kitsune mask. "Kiyiii, you are a hard little gyouza to attract the attention of! I've been calling your name for quite a while now."
"You can touch me!"
"Of course I can. I'm the one that made you untouchable in the first place," Osusuki rose, pulling Hikaru with him. "Or rather, I made these surroundings, which are untouchable to you. Still, I need you to come with me."
"But," Hikaru protested as Sai put down another stone and Lord Mikaboshi countered. "I want to watch the game! I HAVE to watch the game. It's MY soul at stake."
"Being that as it is, I think you would rather not," Osusuki remarked. "Come, oh nibblicious one."
The kitsune clamped his handful of claws into Hikaru's robes, and the boy found himself being dragged from the platform, force marched through the gathered crowd of demons, ghosts, and gods, and driven into the darkness of the wood itself. Oddly enough, no one seemed to notice or care that Hikaru had left, so intent were they all on the game.
"There now. That's better," Osusuki released him, then took a few steps back. "Ohh, you look sooooo fetching in those ribbons!"
"Just leave me alone! Haven't you made my life miserable enough already?" Hikaru stamped the ground, the only thing that was solid to him. "I don't care if you are the head of all kitsune, I STILL think you're scum ..."
He gave the dirt one last vicious kick. Unfortunately, the motion unbalanced him and sent him stumbling forward a few steps, arms windmilling frantically as his sleeves nearly toppled him over. "Waaaagh!"
"Kiyiiiiiiii!" Osusuki laughed as Hikaru finally stopped reeling around like a kite in a hurricane. "Ah, there's the fire that Lord Amatsu Mikaboshi wants so much."
"I'm going back. I don't have time for this," Hikaru turned away from the kitsune, intent on wading back through the crowd again.
"I wouldn't, if I were you," Osusuki said. "Notice how fast Amatsu Mikaboshi-sama is replying Fujiwara-sensei's moves? He matches them perfectly, without hesitation."
"That's what I'm worried about!"
"As if he could read Fujiwara-sensei's mind ..." the kitsune continued, "or, perhaps, the mind of someone who knows all his moves as well as he knows his own."
Hikaru froze, leaving his robes to swirl around him in a whirl of white cloth.
"As a point of honor ... oh yes, Evil does have a code it must follow, my little onigiri, otherwise, how can it tell itself from good? Anyway, he will not read Fujiwara-sensei's thoughts, but he never said anything about anyone else's."
"You mean I can't even watch the game where my soul is at stake?" Hikaru stared back through the crowd. "That's not FAIR! Sai - er, sensei said that you guys can't read our thoughts!"
"Yes, most of the beings here can't read too deeply, but we are talking about the GOD of Evil. Do you really want to risk it? I can take care of that detail for you, though. Otherwise, it would not be much of a battle, and I DO want it to be entertaining." Osusuki shrugged. "Come, walk with me for a little while."
"Why should I? I don't trust you. And I can't leave Sa-ensei behind. I don't know how far we move from each other."
"I will take care of that little detail as well. Besides, coming with me is better than being bored now, is it not? Judging by the current rate of Fujiwara-sensei's moves, it will be a long while yet before the game is over. You are still my guest and it is my duty, as host, to make sure you enjoy some of your time tonight."
"Enjoy tonight?! If I survive it, it's gonna give me nightmares for life!" Still, Hikaru followed the kitsune, despite the general misgivings that twisted his stomach. The constant murmuring and gasping from the crowd nipped on his nerves. He also couldn't take the chance that a stray comment would lead to a game-losing thought from him. "There's just one thing I don't understand. What's in it for you?"
"Every Setsubon, we kitsune hold a celebration in honor of Lord Amatsu Mikaboshi, to keep him appeased and to keep him out of our fur for the coming year. However, lately it's been harder to keep him ... entertained. Humans have gotten rather boring in their modernity, and tempting you all is hardly a challenge anymore," Osusuki led Hikaru deeper into the woods, away from the partygoers. " So I thought to myself, what better way to please the Demon Lord than by presenting him with a temptation he couldn't resist?"
"Couldn't you have just hired strippers or something?"
"We did that last year. He ate them all. Before the third course."
"Oooh-kay," Hikaru swallowed heavily. For some reason, he did not think that Osusuki was joking. "It's still not fair, though. I didn't mean to come here or break your shrine, but that doesn't give you a right to use me OR Sai to entertain the Lord of All Things Bad and Gooey. Aren't there rules against this?"
"It is not as simple as that, my young cutlet. Rules or no, things move in ways you cannot even begin to understand, but there is a pattern, just be sure of that. Who knows, Fujiwara-sensei might even win."
Resigned to the fact that he wouldn't get to watch the game, Hikaru turned his full attention to the other problem at hand. "But even if he does, he still loses. He's going to have to spend the next thousand years in Hell."
"Well, look at it this way, at least you will be free of him."
It took every last bit of restraint in Hikaru's admittedly small arsenal not to throw another temper tantrum. Sai doesn't need you to make any more trouble, so don't react ... keep calm, don't react ... At best, he managed to keep his voice down to a shout. "I DON'T want to be free of him! I like him just where he is!"
"Ahh, but how much longer will that last? Tell me, what does Fujiwara sensei mean to you, Shindo Hikaru? Do you really get along with him so perfectly?"
Hikaru clenched his teeth, counting from one to ten, then back down to one again. Keep calm, don't react, he chanted mentally. Still, an image of Touya Koyo flashed again in his mind, as did the argument that the disastrous game had caused.
Osusuki tilted his head. "And what if you wanted your own life someday, sans ghost? Sai's not exactly easy to have around all the time, is he? He can be absolutely annoying, I suspect. And what IS he good for, besides Go?"
"Shut up! Just shut up!" the last thing Hikaru wanted to hear was his own, hurtful words thrown back at him.
"Remember, you won't ever have a single moment alone for the rest of your life. Not even for more ... intimate ... relationships. How has your love life been going, anyway? You humans can get so kinky sometimes. Maybe you like having a watcher?"
Hikaru felt his face flame, and he barely stopped himself from ducking behind his sleeves. He now understood why Sai used his fan so much. Interacting with kitsune tended to be rough on one's composure. "We'd work it out, somehow. Me an' Sai have been fine for two years!"
"Or what happens if you want to do something different than Go? Wouldn't Sai be just so much baggage then? Over the two years you've had together, I'm sure you've given this SOME passing thought."
"I like Go for myself, not for Sai, and I'm not quitting anytime soon!" Hikaru's fingernails dug small, bloody crescents into his palm. The fact that the kitsune was somewhat correct -- he had wondered many times about those very same questions -- did not help matters. Don't react, don't react, Sai said not to react.
"Isn't it enough that you've nearly sent both of us to Hell? Do you have to turn me against Sai too? If you ask me, you serve Amatsu Mikaboshi more than Inari-sama."
"Tch. You mortals are worse than dogs with your black and white vision. No wonder the Lord of Hell despairs about the evil of this age; your kind has lost the ability to understand what true evil means. I am a kitsune. I am no more evil than a tree is, or a river is, or a mountain. Kitsune can kill humans, yes -- we can play with you, most definitely-- but we are not evil."
"I don't buy that," Hikaru clenched his teeth. "You've been against Sai and me ever since we got here!"
"And how, pray tell, does that make me evil?" Osusuki tapped a claw against his mask, then waved it warningly at Hikaru. "Be careful with your accusations, Shindo Hikaru. You are in a precarious position already, and your emotional responses have not been altogether helpful."
The kitsune had stopped walking, and Hikaru found that the fox spirit had brought them into a small clearing. Osusuki clapped his hands together, and a burst of sparkling light erupted from his palms. Four additional lanterns, two chairs, and a round table made from a gigantic tree stump appeared. A full tea set also materialized upon the table's surface, along with two teacups.
"Please sit."
Hikaru ignored the proffered seat, choosing instead to stand and fume.
"Suit yourself. By the way, you can touch anything here, but if you wish to stand, that's perfectly fine with me. And for the record, I have never been against Fujiwara no Sai."
"Well, I think that sending his soul to Hell is "being against" Sai," Hikaru dropped all pretense of calling Sai "sensei." Osusuki didn't seem to care, one way or another.
"Really, Shindo Hikaru, has the greatest Kami-sama above replaced your brains with an omeboshi?" Osusuki shook his head. "Yet again, you are making declarations without thinking them through.You need to find another, clearer definition of evil and what it means. Otherwise, you have little chance of surviving the night of all wandering."
From behind his mask, the kitsune snapped his teeth together, causing Hikaru to flinch involuntarily. "More importantly, it is not wise to contradict someone like me who could easily squash someone like you. Remember who I am, Shindo Hikaru, and remember you must respect me. Therefore, I ask you again ... what does Fujiwara no Sai mean to you? Answer me, convince me of his worth to you, and perhaps you will get an answer to your own questions."
"Sai ...." Hikaru took a deep breath, then let it out. He hated to admit it, but Osusuki was right; yelling and stomping around wasn't helping matters much. Instead, it made things even more uncomfortable as his costume pulled tighter against his muscles. He glanced around, feeling suddenly exposed. It was the first time since he had met the ghost that Sai had been out of his visual range for an extended amount of time.
"Okay. Fine, we'll play it your way. Sai ... well ... he's my best friend, I guess. He's annoying to have around at times, he bugs me, and he can make a LOT of trouble. But ... he's also helped me. Before, I flunked all my classes, I didn't do much, I didn't even have a lot of friends ... and I didn't care. Then he came, with his crazy obsession, and he sucked me in, and suddenly bang! I made friends, I even made rivals, I had something to do, and I ... care about stuff."
Hikaru rubbed the bridge of his nose. "But more than that .... he was the first person to ever believe in me, to make me do something instead of letting me do whatever I wanted. Maybe he doesn't have a choice, but still, for some reason, he never gives up on me. And this is even though he knows EVERYTHING about me ... every flaw, every bad thought, every rude thing I say ... "
"He's also the one who tells me that I could learn anything if I put my mind to it and he nags the crap out of me until I actually try harder, just to make him shut up. He's there when things get tough, or he gets tough when I'm slacking." Hikaru snorted. "And he can be tough, believe it or not. My parents aren't bad or anything, but they never gave me that. Mom barely knows that Go is a game with stones; she thinks that I'm going through a "stage." And Dad .... I'd be surprised if he even knows I play Go. Without Sai, I don't know what I ..."
Hikaru wiped his nose roughly with his sleeve, than ran his arm across his eyes. "I don't WANT to know."
"Because that would mean that you'd have to believe in yourself." Osusuki slanted his head to the side. "Shindo Hikaru, if you survive to learn anything from tonight, you must realize that to depend on someone else's belief and drive leads to a tenuous existence, at best. You don't need Sai, no matter what you may think. He might as well be some Go stone you used to gain more territory ... if he could have it the other way, he would have used you."
"That's not true!"
"Tch! I think some part of you knows this is true, no matter what the rest of your heart or mind may say."
"I don't care about all that," Hikaru thumped his fist on the table, feeling oddly satisfied at the hard smacking noise it made. He had to rub the feeling back into his hand afterward, but it was worth it. "You're lying. I won't let you turn me against him! I won't!"
"Sai's the one who bargained your soul away for a Go game, did he not? Don't you think he likes playing again, on his own? What if Lord Mikaboshi offers him the chance for his to have a body again? To play without you? What if he trades you for a mortal form of his own?"
"He's playing to save me, and he would NEVER accept!"
"Did you see his face when he held the stones again, with his own hands?" Osusuki leaned forward slightly. The lamplight caught and threw strange shadows across his mask, making the snout appear longer and sharper than usual.
"Your blind loyalty is going to prove to be your downfall. Don't you understand? You and he are doomed to fail in this. No one can win in a mortal game against the Lord of Evil. If you accept it now, it will be easier later. Like you said, you are going to lose your friend, either way. Cut your losses! What do you owe Sai? He's not even really your sensei, is he?" Osusuki waved off Hikaru's protest. "Don't even try. I know he isn't. So he doesn't have the right to bargain with your soul. You could leave ... I could let you leave ... my purpose for entertaining Lord Amatsu Mikaboshi has been fulfilled ..."
"No ... NO! Even if I could leave, I won't! I'm the one that got us into the mess! I'm the one who walked into this stupid forest." Hikaru took a shuddering breath, willing his heart to calm down from its anger induced beat.
"It's NOT about Go, or who plays, or who owes who what! Look, I know I'm kinda stupid, and I'm bad at school... heck, if it wasn't for Sai, I'd still fail ALL of my academics. But it's not about what he's done for me ... It's not about having debts to each other ..."
"So you are the one who is using him. You're angry because you're losing your tool ..."
"NO!" Hikaru closed his eyes, his teeth clenched. Frustration sheared through him; how could he make the kitsune understand?
"You aren't listening! It's not about that! He's my FRIEND ... more than that, he's a part of me now. You guys might live long time, but I don't think you've learned much about humans. You don't know anything about true friendship OR loyalty OR anything like that! I'm NOT letting him go to the Demon Lord of Hell! He's giving up his soul for me, and I'd give up my --"
Something stopped him mid-sentence, an inner prickling that sometimes came when he was playing a intense game. Osusuki's body position had changed; both of his hands had appeared on the table edge, as if he was gathering his strength to pounce. An image hovered in Hikaru's mind, of Go stones, moves, and countermoves ... it was the same sensation when he suddenly realized an opponent's ...
"Trap... you're trying to get me worked up," Hikaru backed away from the kitsune, appalled. What had he almost said? I'd give up my ...
"You're trying to make me "blindly loyal", aren't you? I mean, I would give it up for Sai, yeah .... but I'm not going to be tricked into it by you. The reverse psycho-babbly thingie won't work."
And there's also something more I'm not seeing here. It's like playing a game with half the board shadowed ... his thoughts murmured.
Osusuki dismissed Hikaru's words with a casual flick of his claws. "Spare me your dramatics. If Fujiwara no Sai really meant all that to you, why are you letting him go to Hell? He can leave, you know. You are the one who Amatsu Mikaboshi is truly after. Sai only placed himself in harm's way to protect you."
"But he's already started the challenge!" Hikaru felt as if he was shaking all over. His fingers seemed to have a mind of their own as they clenched and unclenched. What am I not seeing? What do I not know?
"Lord Amatsu Mikaboshi's claim on you would be greater if you surrendered of your own free will. Consent is the key. If you declare your allegiance to Lord of the Autumn Star now, I'm sure he would let Sai go free in exchange," Osusuki's claws clicked against the wood of the tabletop as he dragged a hand across the splintered surface. "You said it yourself. You owe him. Sai's going to be trapped by Lord Amatsu Mikaboshi , one way or another. However, if you, of your own free will, decide to save your friend, you'd cut the potential losses down to one soul. If Sai loses, though, the Demon Lord will have the both of you. Then he'd be unstoppable. Besides, does Sai really have the right to gamble your soul like this? Do you have the right to let him gamble his own soul like this?"
"He is my sensei, so yeah!" Hikaru planted his feet firmly against the ground, his hands loose and ready at his sides. "I declared Sai my sensei right before the challenge."
Osusuki rose and circled the table, stopping only when he was completely behind Hikaru. "You did? Tell me, was it a formal declaration, before qualified witnesses? For I rather remember you two having a small mixup ..."
"Ehhhh ..." Hikaru hedged as he craned his head around to track the kitsune. He had a feeling that keeping Osusuki within his line of vision was probably a good idea.
"Well, we didn't have tea ceremony or nothing, but Kojoro was there, and SHE heard, I think, though I don't know if that counts. But that doesn't matter. Sai's helped me do so much since I've met him. He's changed the way I see the world ... he's guided me through a lot. If that's not a true sensei, then I don't know what is. I still trust him with my soul."
"But there IS still a chance, if you have not declared it formally. He's not really your sensei now, but if you give up, you can definitely save your friend."
Hikaru felt his mouth go dry. The worst part was that he could not quite dismiss all of what Osusuki had said. Actually, most of what the kitsune had said made sense ... a lot of sense. Especially the uncomfortable parts regarding having to believe in himself. However, he did not have time to even begin to sort that mess out.
Can't lose focus, not now, not midgame! Concentrate! he chided himself. He wanted to free Sai, but somehow, giving into the Lord of Darkness felt incredibly wrong. All his instincts told him to fight until he had no other recourse. Okay, first thing -- Stop making wild moves. And no more defense; it's time for something different, time to play MY way ...
"We let the game play to the end."
"Then you really would let him sacrifice himself for you?" Osusuki asked. His tone remained seemingly nonchalant. However, though Hikaru was not sure, he thought he could hear the slightest trace of bitterness in the kitsune's words.
He bit his lip and tried to use that spark of pain to divert his emotions away from the guilt that threatened to shut down his thoughts. Sai, I'm playing my own game now. And for both our sakes, I hope I'm making the right moves ...
"I meant it when I said I won't let him go to Hell. But I'm not going either. And I'm not going to let you tell me it's all my fault. You're the one that held us until Mr. Ultimate Evil showed up. "
Hikaru turned around, meeting the kitsune's enigmatic, eyeless mask directly. "There's a lot more to this than just making sure the Lord of Hell is happy, isn't there?"
"What do you mean?"
The boy shrugged. "I can't make you talk, but I can go back to Lord of Darkness, Demons, and Really Bad Hangovers and tell him that the deal's off, that I rather walk the earth for a eternity than join him. That way, he still won't get what he wants .... either Sai or me. But I think he's gonna be reeaaaal pissed off at you."
Hikaru squared his shoulders and thrust his jaw out defiantly. "So talk. You're awfully concerned about Sai ... and about making me give up my soul for him. Why should YOU care how many souls Lord Mikaboshi gets, as long as you managed to keep him off your back? I think the real question isn't what Sai means to me, but what Sai means to you."
Hikaru held his breath. There. It's set. Now, please, please go for the "stone," I've put down. C'mon, go for it ....
"I could just rip you apart, you know," Osusuki remarked casually. The lamplight glittered against his gleaming claws, which he waved idly.
"Yes, but then that'd REALLY cheese off Mr. Unhappy back there, right? He looks like the kind that likes to do his own, hands on ... err ... off .... dismemberment."
C'mon Osusuki, go for the bait ... see, I've laid it all out for you, take the stone, c'mon, show me where the rest of your plan lies ...
Without warning, the kitsune lunged at Hikaru, but the boy closed his eyes and stood his ground. Something like a breeze pushed his hair back, and he could feel the very tip of a claw touch his nose. Osusuki's panting breath felt hot against his cheeks. After a few tense moments, while Hikaru's life passed before his eyes (it consisted mostly of eating ramen, for some reason), he sensed the kitsune backing away. He cautiously opened an eye, only to find that Osusuki was still nearly snout to nose with him.
"Very well ...you asked me what Sai meant to me ..." the kitsune's mask dipped down, bringing his empty eyes even closer to Hikaru's own. The dark depths seemed to seethe with secrets, and Hikaru felt their weight pushing against his senses. "And what he means to the wandering world and my people in particular. Well, it's not something I can tell you."
"HEY, LORD AMA---"
The kitsune clapped one harsh hand against Hikaru's mouth, while the other wrapped around Hikaru's throat, cutting off his words mid-syllable. Hikaru gagged, but Osusuki was careful not to even bruise him. After a moment, the fox spirit released Hikaru, leaving the boy to gasp weakly as he leaned against the table.
"Sit," Osusuki ordered him. This time, Hikaru complied, rubbing his neck gingerly. He reached for his cup of tea and recklessly swigged it down. The taste of chrysanthemums filled his mouth. He fixed the kitsune with his most steeliest look, one which he learned from both Sai and Touya Akira. It must have worked, because Osusuki tensed and his claws dug into the soft wood of the table.
"I mean it, Foxy-loxy. Talk!"
"Do you really want to go this far?" the kitsune reached for his mask. Hikaru's eyes widened, but Osusuki merely slipped one finger under it before pausing. "Do you know why my kind wore masks tonight, Shindo Hikaru?"
"Because you're butt ugly underneath?" Hikaru hazarded a guess.
Osusuki snorted. "I swear you go out of your way to become filleted. But no. A kitsune is a spirit of illusions, of images not quite grounded in reality, of desires not quite spoken. Tonight, however, in front of all the gods, we kitsune cannot hold our illusions together. The masks we have tonight are not for our guests, though. Try again, and guess. It is something, the only thing, we kitsune share with many of you mortals."
Hikaru scratched an ear. "Well, do you wear masks because you don't like ... looking in mirrors?"
He wasn't quite sure what made him say that, but to his amazement, Osusuki nodded begrudgingly.
"Bravo, Shindo-kun, I wouldn't have expected you to be so insightful. Well, that's almost correct, anyway. The gods are like truest of all mirrors, ones that can strip away all pretentions and illusions, leaving us bare. But it is not the mirrors themselves we fear. It is what we find reflected back at us in them. That is why we must wear our masks, not for the gods, but for each other and for ourselves. However, the first time Sai ever saw me .... he saw as a god would, straight through all my spells ... he saw me like this."
With an elegant sweep of his hand, Osusuki tore the mask away. Hikaru had his hands ready to shield his eyes, but to his surprise, a perfectly normal human face stared back at him. Osusuki's black hair had been unbound, and it cascaded around his heart shaped face. Two amber-green eyes flashed above a long, delicate nose. Only the presence of small, almost tiger like stripes at the very edge of his face belied the fact that Osusuki was not truly human. The kitsune was nowhere in the same league as Amatsu Mikaboshi when it came to beauty, but he had an earthly, wild aura that the Lord of Evil could not match with all his elegant darkness.
Hikaru suddenly felt rather plain looking. He plucked at his robes.
"Even if I had my glamour on, or my mask, or anything else, this is what Sai would see." Osusuki continued. "It is his greatest power, his ability to see things to their source."
"I don't think you look that bad," Hikaru shrugged. "Your attitude and tactics stink, but it's not like you have to go around wearing paper bags on your heads ..."
"You really aren't that bright, are you? I'm not talking about physical beauty. Why would we want to hide that? Look beyond my face, little mortal. Do you see?"
Hikaru's previous headache intensified. Something flickered in the fox spirit's evergreen eyes, something that reminded him of the rushing crash of the wild stream untamed, the hot blood pulse of the predator on the hunt, the sharp metallic taste that proceeded the first snap of lightening ... and something even beyond that, something old beyond the reckoning of time, beyond the concepts of mortality, something that moved in the deep, dark earth, where sunlight and shadows might as well have been one and the same.
"Yes. Just as he can see deep into a Go game, to the point he can predict his opponent's every move, Sai can read past our surface, until he touches our true nature. It's something usually only the youngest mortal children have, before they learn to deceive themselves. Didn't you ever wonder why there are so many stories about monsters who eat children? It's not only so that parents can scare their brats into obeying. You would think we'd go for something that had a bit more meat and a bit less snot. But no ... we go after them because they can see that we are monsters."
Osusuki traced a finger over his discarded mask. "The first time I met Sai, I thought I was going to have to kill him. We wanderers are not meant to be seen without our illusions."
The air suddenly sparked with bright pinwheels of frozen light, and the world began to take on a glassy look, as if it had been sealed underneath a sheet of plastic. Hikaru tried to get up, but his muscles refused to work. "W...What are you doing?"
"Like I said, I can't tell you what Sai means to us. But I can show you ...." Osusuki had come around to his side of the table again, and Hikaru felt himself being drawn into those impossibly emerald eyes ...
And then the world melted away ...
to be continued in part 6b
A Hikaru no Go Ghost Story
Part 6a: Burnt in the Fire of Thine Eyes
Hikaru was no stranger to the charged atmosphere that proceeded many a Go match. He had watched (as well as played) quite a few tense matches himself, and he had come to relish the electric spark that proceeded such games, had learned to listen to the way everyone held their breath, and had never ceased to be awed at the way the world would narrow down to the stars and crosslines of the goban.
However, he could not remember when a Go crowd had made him quite as nervous as the one that surrounded the raised dais. The fact that most of the audience wanted to and could very well tear him limb from limb probably contributed to this feeling. The creatures parted quite politely though, when he and Sai approached the platform. Amatsu Mikaboshi sat at the far end, and a highly polished goban waited in the center, along with two gleaming bowls of Go stones.
Hikaru had to stuff his hands into his robes to hide the fact that they were shaking. He watched as Sai drew his sleeves out of the way with an elegant sweep of his arms. A light flapping noise accompanied the ghost as he settled across the goban from the Lord of Demons. Hikaru seated himself near the edge of the dais, a little distance away from the two, but in a position which gave him an excellent view of the proceedings.
"If you would, my lord?" Sai offered one of the bowls to the god. Amatsu Mikaboshi accepted it and opened the lid.
"Before we nigiri, I must declare the terms. We will play old style Igo -- no komi rules. However, since this is an ... equal ... game, I will refrain from reading your mind, Fujiwara no Sai," Amatsu Mikaboshi smiled. It was not a pretty sight. "Do you accept?"
Sai bowed his head and dipped his hand into his stones. The Lord of the Autumn Star did the same. Hikaru bit his tongue when he saw the results. Sai had ended up with white, which meant he was now playing with nearly a six stone handicap by modern standards.
"Onigaishimasu," Sai said. The Lord of Hell merely smiled again and placed the first stone on the lower left corner, komoku.
If all he knows is "old school" Go, Hikaru's thoughts brightened, recognizing the move as the one with which Sai had started that first game with Touya Akira, then with all that Sai's learned in the centuries since the Heian Era, we might have a chance ...
"Your disciple seems hopeful," Amatsu Mikaboshi remarked mildly. "Surely he doesn't think that even with your supposedly modern skills, you stand a chance."
Hikaru gaped at the god. The Demon Lord twiddled a few fingers at him in reply. Hikaru swallowed hard; he did not know what jarred him more - the sight of Ultimate Evil making such a casual gesture, or the fact that Ultimate Evil was now giving him a rather disarming, innocent grin.
Meanwhile, Sai had closed his eyes. He had one hand in his Go bowl. Slight clicking noises stirred the air as he chose a stone. He spent a long moment just cradling it between his thumb and index finger, then he performed the familiar "flick" that brought it into playing position. Opening his eyes, Sai spent another few heartbeats studying the goban before bringing the piece down. The sound of stone meeting wood echoed through the clearing. The game had begun.
Amatsu Mikaboshi countered quickly, slapping his stone down even before Sai's had stopped shaking.
The ghost paused again, unfolding his fan and bringing it up to his mouth. Long minutes trickled by. Hikaru's hands twitched within his robes; had the kitsune started playing their drums again, or was that loud pounding sound his heart?
Finally, after what felt like an hour, Sai placed another stone. The God of Evil countered within seconds. This time, the lag between his and Sai's next move took even longer. Hikaru nearly bit through his bottom lip as he waited. Even though the two had yet to move out of fuseki, he knew that Amatsu Mikaboshi would not be easily defeated. Indeed, once Sai put down his stone, the Lord of Demons countered again, almost instantly.
"Shindo! Shindo Hikaru!" a sharp shaking sensation abruptly broke Hikaru's concentration. He turned, ready to snarl at whatever had interrupted him, only to find himself face to snout with Osusuki's kitsune mask. "Kiyiii, you are a hard little gyouza to attract the attention of! I've been calling your name for quite a while now."
"You can touch me!"
"Of course I can. I'm the one that made you untouchable in the first place," Osusuki rose, pulling Hikaru with him. "Or rather, I made these surroundings, which are untouchable to you. Still, I need you to come with me."
"But," Hikaru protested as Sai put down another stone and Lord Mikaboshi countered. "I want to watch the game! I HAVE to watch the game. It's MY soul at stake."
"Being that as it is, I think you would rather not," Osusuki remarked. "Come, oh nibblicious one."
The kitsune clamped his handful of claws into Hikaru's robes, and the boy found himself being dragged from the platform, force marched through the gathered crowd of demons, ghosts, and gods, and driven into the darkness of the wood itself. Oddly enough, no one seemed to notice or care that Hikaru had left, so intent were they all on the game.
"There now. That's better," Osusuki released him, then took a few steps back. "Ohh, you look sooooo fetching in those ribbons!"
"Just leave me alone! Haven't you made my life miserable enough already?" Hikaru stamped the ground, the only thing that was solid to him. "I don't care if you are the head of all kitsune, I STILL think you're scum ..."
He gave the dirt one last vicious kick. Unfortunately, the motion unbalanced him and sent him stumbling forward a few steps, arms windmilling frantically as his sleeves nearly toppled him over. "Waaaagh!"
"Kiyiiiiiiii!" Osusuki laughed as Hikaru finally stopped reeling around like a kite in a hurricane. "Ah, there's the fire that Lord Amatsu Mikaboshi wants so much."
"I'm going back. I don't have time for this," Hikaru turned away from the kitsune, intent on wading back through the crowd again.
"I wouldn't, if I were you," Osusuki said. "Notice how fast Amatsu Mikaboshi-sama is replying Fujiwara-sensei's moves? He matches them perfectly, without hesitation."
"That's what I'm worried about!"
"As if he could read Fujiwara-sensei's mind ..." the kitsune continued, "or, perhaps, the mind of someone who knows all his moves as well as he knows his own."
Hikaru froze, leaving his robes to swirl around him in a whirl of white cloth.
"As a point of honor ... oh yes, Evil does have a code it must follow, my little onigiri, otherwise, how can it tell itself from good? Anyway, he will not read Fujiwara-sensei's thoughts, but he never said anything about anyone else's."
"You mean I can't even watch the game where my soul is at stake?" Hikaru stared back through the crowd. "That's not FAIR! Sai - er, sensei said that you guys can't read our thoughts!"
"Yes, most of the beings here can't read too deeply, but we are talking about the GOD of Evil. Do you really want to risk it? I can take care of that detail for you, though. Otherwise, it would not be much of a battle, and I DO want it to be entertaining." Osusuki shrugged. "Come, walk with me for a little while."
"Why should I? I don't trust you. And I can't leave Sa-ensei behind. I don't know how far we move from each other."
"I will take care of that little detail as well. Besides, coming with me is better than being bored now, is it not? Judging by the current rate of Fujiwara-sensei's moves, it will be a long while yet before the game is over. You are still my guest and it is my duty, as host, to make sure you enjoy some of your time tonight."
"Enjoy tonight?! If I survive it, it's gonna give me nightmares for life!" Still, Hikaru followed the kitsune, despite the general misgivings that twisted his stomach. The constant murmuring and gasping from the crowd nipped on his nerves. He also couldn't take the chance that a stray comment would lead to a game-losing thought from him. "There's just one thing I don't understand. What's in it for you?"
"Every Setsubon, we kitsune hold a celebration in honor of Lord Amatsu Mikaboshi, to keep him appeased and to keep him out of our fur for the coming year. However, lately it's been harder to keep him ... entertained. Humans have gotten rather boring in their modernity, and tempting you all is hardly a challenge anymore," Osusuki led Hikaru deeper into the woods, away from the partygoers. " So I thought to myself, what better way to please the Demon Lord than by presenting him with a temptation he couldn't resist?"
"Couldn't you have just hired strippers or something?"
"We did that last year. He ate them all. Before the third course."
"Oooh-kay," Hikaru swallowed heavily. For some reason, he did not think that Osusuki was joking. "It's still not fair, though. I didn't mean to come here or break your shrine, but that doesn't give you a right to use me OR Sai to entertain the Lord of All Things Bad and Gooey. Aren't there rules against this?"
"It is not as simple as that, my young cutlet. Rules or no, things move in ways you cannot even begin to understand, but there is a pattern, just be sure of that. Who knows, Fujiwara-sensei might even win."
Resigned to the fact that he wouldn't get to watch the game, Hikaru turned his full attention to the other problem at hand. "But even if he does, he still loses. He's going to have to spend the next thousand years in Hell."
"Well, look at it this way, at least you will be free of him."
It took every last bit of restraint in Hikaru's admittedly small arsenal not to throw another temper tantrum. Sai doesn't need you to make any more trouble, so don't react ... keep calm, don't react ... At best, he managed to keep his voice down to a shout. "I DON'T want to be free of him! I like him just where he is!"
"Ahh, but how much longer will that last? Tell me, what does Fujiwara sensei mean to you, Shindo Hikaru? Do you really get along with him so perfectly?"
Hikaru clenched his teeth, counting from one to ten, then back down to one again. Keep calm, don't react, he chanted mentally. Still, an image of Touya Koyo flashed again in his mind, as did the argument that the disastrous game had caused.
Osusuki tilted his head. "And what if you wanted your own life someday, sans ghost? Sai's not exactly easy to have around all the time, is he? He can be absolutely annoying, I suspect. And what IS he good for, besides Go?"
"Shut up! Just shut up!" the last thing Hikaru wanted to hear was his own, hurtful words thrown back at him.
"Remember, you won't ever have a single moment alone for the rest of your life. Not even for more ... intimate ... relationships. How has your love life been going, anyway? You humans can get so kinky sometimes. Maybe you like having a watcher?"
Hikaru felt his face flame, and he barely stopped himself from ducking behind his sleeves. He now understood why Sai used his fan so much. Interacting with kitsune tended to be rough on one's composure. "We'd work it out, somehow. Me an' Sai have been fine for two years!"
"Or what happens if you want to do something different than Go? Wouldn't Sai be just so much baggage then? Over the two years you've had together, I'm sure you've given this SOME passing thought."
"I like Go for myself, not for Sai, and I'm not quitting anytime soon!" Hikaru's fingernails dug small, bloody crescents into his palm. The fact that the kitsune was somewhat correct -- he had wondered many times about those very same questions -- did not help matters. Don't react, don't react, Sai said not to react.
"Isn't it enough that you've nearly sent both of us to Hell? Do you have to turn me against Sai too? If you ask me, you serve Amatsu Mikaboshi more than Inari-sama."
"Tch. You mortals are worse than dogs with your black and white vision. No wonder the Lord of Hell despairs about the evil of this age; your kind has lost the ability to understand what true evil means. I am a kitsune. I am no more evil than a tree is, or a river is, or a mountain. Kitsune can kill humans, yes -- we can play with you, most definitely-- but we are not evil."
"I don't buy that," Hikaru clenched his teeth. "You've been against Sai and me ever since we got here!"
"And how, pray tell, does that make me evil?" Osusuki tapped a claw against his mask, then waved it warningly at Hikaru. "Be careful with your accusations, Shindo Hikaru. You are in a precarious position already, and your emotional responses have not been altogether helpful."
The kitsune had stopped walking, and Hikaru found that the fox spirit had brought them into a small clearing. Osusuki clapped his hands together, and a burst of sparkling light erupted from his palms. Four additional lanterns, two chairs, and a round table made from a gigantic tree stump appeared. A full tea set also materialized upon the table's surface, along with two teacups.
"Please sit."
Hikaru ignored the proffered seat, choosing instead to stand and fume.
"Suit yourself. By the way, you can touch anything here, but if you wish to stand, that's perfectly fine with me. And for the record, I have never been against Fujiwara no Sai."
"Well, I think that sending his soul to Hell is "being against" Sai," Hikaru dropped all pretense of calling Sai "sensei." Osusuki didn't seem to care, one way or another.
"Really, Shindo Hikaru, has the greatest Kami-sama above replaced your brains with an omeboshi?" Osusuki shook his head. "Yet again, you are making declarations without thinking them through.You need to find another, clearer definition of evil and what it means. Otherwise, you have little chance of surviving the night of all wandering."
From behind his mask, the kitsune snapped his teeth together, causing Hikaru to flinch involuntarily. "More importantly, it is not wise to contradict someone like me who could easily squash someone like you. Remember who I am, Shindo Hikaru, and remember you must respect me. Therefore, I ask you again ... what does Fujiwara no Sai mean to you? Answer me, convince me of his worth to you, and perhaps you will get an answer to your own questions."
"Sai ...." Hikaru took a deep breath, then let it out. He hated to admit it, but Osusuki was right; yelling and stomping around wasn't helping matters much. Instead, it made things even more uncomfortable as his costume pulled tighter against his muscles. He glanced around, feeling suddenly exposed. It was the first time since he had met the ghost that Sai had been out of his visual range for an extended amount of time.
"Okay. Fine, we'll play it your way. Sai ... well ... he's my best friend, I guess. He's annoying to have around at times, he bugs me, and he can make a LOT of trouble. But ... he's also helped me. Before, I flunked all my classes, I didn't do much, I didn't even have a lot of friends ... and I didn't care. Then he came, with his crazy obsession, and he sucked me in, and suddenly bang! I made friends, I even made rivals, I had something to do, and I ... care about stuff."
Hikaru rubbed the bridge of his nose. "But more than that .... he was the first person to ever believe in me, to make me do something instead of letting me do whatever I wanted. Maybe he doesn't have a choice, but still, for some reason, he never gives up on me. And this is even though he knows EVERYTHING about me ... every flaw, every bad thought, every rude thing I say ... "
"He's also the one who tells me that I could learn anything if I put my mind to it and he nags the crap out of me until I actually try harder, just to make him shut up. He's there when things get tough, or he gets tough when I'm slacking." Hikaru snorted. "And he can be tough, believe it or not. My parents aren't bad or anything, but they never gave me that. Mom barely knows that Go is a game with stones; she thinks that I'm going through a "stage." And Dad .... I'd be surprised if he even knows I play Go. Without Sai, I don't know what I ..."
Hikaru wiped his nose roughly with his sleeve, than ran his arm across his eyes. "I don't WANT to know."
"Because that would mean that you'd have to believe in yourself." Osusuki slanted his head to the side. "Shindo Hikaru, if you survive to learn anything from tonight, you must realize that to depend on someone else's belief and drive leads to a tenuous existence, at best. You don't need Sai, no matter what you may think. He might as well be some Go stone you used to gain more territory ... if he could have it the other way, he would have used you."
"That's not true!"
"Tch! I think some part of you knows this is true, no matter what the rest of your heart or mind may say."
"I don't care about all that," Hikaru thumped his fist on the table, feeling oddly satisfied at the hard smacking noise it made. He had to rub the feeling back into his hand afterward, but it was worth it. "You're lying. I won't let you turn me against him! I won't!"
"Sai's the one who bargained your soul away for a Go game, did he not? Don't you think he likes playing again, on his own? What if Lord Mikaboshi offers him the chance for his to have a body again? To play without you? What if he trades you for a mortal form of his own?"
"He's playing to save me, and he would NEVER accept!"
"Did you see his face when he held the stones again, with his own hands?" Osusuki leaned forward slightly. The lamplight caught and threw strange shadows across his mask, making the snout appear longer and sharper than usual.
"Your blind loyalty is going to prove to be your downfall. Don't you understand? You and he are doomed to fail in this. No one can win in a mortal game against the Lord of Evil. If you accept it now, it will be easier later. Like you said, you are going to lose your friend, either way. Cut your losses! What do you owe Sai? He's not even really your sensei, is he?" Osusuki waved off Hikaru's protest. "Don't even try. I know he isn't. So he doesn't have the right to bargain with your soul. You could leave ... I could let you leave ... my purpose for entertaining Lord Amatsu Mikaboshi has been fulfilled ..."
"No ... NO! Even if I could leave, I won't! I'm the one that got us into the mess! I'm the one who walked into this stupid forest." Hikaru took a shuddering breath, willing his heart to calm down from its anger induced beat.
"It's NOT about Go, or who plays, or who owes who what! Look, I know I'm kinda stupid, and I'm bad at school... heck, if it wasn't for Sai, I'd still fail ALL of my academics. But it's not about what he's done for me ... It's not about having debts to each other ..."
"So you are the one who is using him. You're angry because you're losing your tool ..."
"NO!" Hikaru closed his eyes, his teeth clenched. Frustration sheared through him; how could he make the kitsune understand?
"You aren't listening! It's not about that! He's my FRIEND ... more than that, he's a part of me now. You guys might live long time, but I don't think you've learned much about humans. You don't know anything about true friendship OR loyalty OR anything like that! I'm NOT letting him go to the Demon Lord of Hell! He's giving up his soul for me, and I'd give up my --"
Something stopped him mid-sentence, an inner prickling that sometimes came when he was playing a intense game. Osusuki's body position had changed; both of his hands had appeared on the table edge, as if he was gathering his strength to pounce. An image hovered in Hikaru's mind, of Go stones, moves, and countermoves ... it was the same sensation when he suddenly realized an opponent's ...
"Trap... you're trying to get me worked up," Hikaru backed away from the kitsune, appalled. What had he almost said? I'd give up my ...
"You're trying to make me "blindly loyal", aren't you? I mean, I would give it up for Sai, yeah .... but I'm not going to be tricked into it by you. The reverse psycho-babbly thingie won't work."
And there's also something more I'm not seeing here. It's like playing a game with half the board shadowed ... his thoughts murmured.
Osusuki dismissed Hikaru's words with a casual flick of his claws. "Spare me your dramatics. If Fujiwara no Sai really meant all that to you, why are you letting him go to Hell? He can leave, you know. You are the one who Amatsu Mikaboshi is truly after. Sai only placed himself in harm's way to protect you."
"But he's already started the challenge!" Hikaru felt as if he was shaking all over. His fingers seemed to have a mind of their own as they clenched and unclenched. What am I not seeing? What do I not know?
"Lord Amatsu Mikaboshi's claim on you would be greater if you surrendered of your own free will. Consent is the key. If you declare your allegiance to Lord of the Autumn Star now, I'm sure he would let Sai go free in exchange," Osusuki's claws clicked against the wood of the tabletop as he dragged a hand across the splintered surface. "You said it yourself. You owe him. Sai's going to be trapped by Lord Amatsu Mikaboshi , one way or another. However, if you, of your own free will, decide to save your friend, you'd cut the potential losses down to one soul. If Sai loses, though, the Demon Lord will have the both of you. Then he'd be unstoppable. Besides, does Sai really have the right to gamble your soul like this? Do you have the right to let him gamble his own soul like this?"
"He is my sensei, so yeah!" Hikaru planted his feet firmly against the ground, his hands loose and ready at his sides. "I declared Sai my sensei right before the challenge."
Osusuki rose and circled the table, stopping only when he was completely behind Hikaru. "You did? Tell me, was it a formal declaration, before qualified witnesses? For I rather remember you two having a small mixup ..."
"Ehhhh ..." Hikaru hedged as he craned his head around to track the kitsune. He had a feeling that keeping Osusuki within his line of vision was probably a good idea.
"Well, we didn't have tea ceremony or nothing, but Kojoro was there, and SHE heard, I think, though I don't know if that counts. But that doesn't matter. Sai's helped me do so much since I've met him. He's changed the way I see the world ... he's guided me through a lot. If that's not a true sensei, then I don't know what is. I still trust him with my soul."
"But there IS still a chance, if you have not declared it formally. He's not really your sensei now, but if you give up, you can definitely save your friend."
Hikaru felt his mouth go dry. The worst part was that he could not quite dismiss all of what Osusuki had said. Actually, most of what the kitsune had said made sense ... a lot of sense. Especially the uncomfortable parts regarding having to believe in himself. However, he did not have time to even begin to sort that mess out.
Can't lose focus, not now, not midgame! Concentrate! he chided himself. He wanted to free Sai, but somehow, giving into the Lord of Darkness felt incredibly wrong. All his instincts told him to fight until he had no other recourse. Okay, first thing -- Stop making wild moves. And no more defense; it's time for something different, time to play MY way ...
"We let the game play to the end."
"Then you really would let him sacrifice himself for you?" Osusuki asked. His tone remained seemingly nonchalant. However, though Hikaru was not sure, he thought he could hear the slightest trace of bitterness in the kitsune's words.
He bit his lip and tried to use that spark of pain to divert his emotions away from the guilt that threatened to shut down his thoughts. Sai, I'm playing my own game now. And for both our sakes, I hope I'm making the right moves ...
"I meant it when I said I won't let him go to Hell. But I'm not going either. And I'm not going to let you tell me it's all my fault. You're the one that held us until Mr. Ultimate Evil showed up. "
Hikaru turned around, meeting the kitsune's enigmatic, eyeless mask directly. "There's a lot more to this than just making sure the Lord of Hell is happy, isn't there?"
"What do you mean?"
The boy shrugged. "I can't make you talk, but I can go back to Lord of Darkness, Demons, and Really Bad Hangovers and tell him that the deal's off, that I rather walk the earth for a eternity than join him. That way, he still won't get what he wants .... either Sai or me. But I think he's gonna be reeaaaal pissed off at you."
Hikaru squared his shoulders and thrust his jaw out defiantly. "So talk. You're awfully concerned about Sai ... and about making me give up my soul for him. Why should YOU care how many souls Lord Mikaboshi gets, as long as you managed to keep him off your back? I think the real question isn't what Sai means to me, but what Sai means to you."
Hikaru held his breath. There. It's set. Now, please, please go for the "stone," I've put down. C'mon, go for it ....
"I could just rip you apart, you know," Osusuki remarked casually. The lamplight glittered against his gleaming claws, which he waved idly.
"Yes, but then that'd REALLY cheese off Mr. Unhappy back there, right? He looks like the kind that likes to do his own, hands on ... err ... off .... dismemberment."
C'mon Osusuki, go for the bait ... see, I've laid it all out for you, take the stone, c'mon, show me where the rest of your plan lies ...
Without warning, the kitsune lunged at Hikaru, but the boy closed his eyes and stood his ground. Something like a breeze pushed his hair back, and he could feel the very tip of a claw touch his nose. Osusuki's panting breath felt hot against his cheeks. After a few tense moments, while Hikaru's life passed before his eyes (it consisted mostly of eating ramen, for some reason), he sensed the kitsune backing away. He cautiously opened an eye, only to find that Osusuki was still nearly snout to nose with him.
"Very well ...you asked me what Sai meant to me ..." the kitsune's mask dipped down, bringing his empty eyes even closer to Hikaru's own. The dark depths seemed to seethe with secrets, and Hikaru felt their weight pushing against his senses. "And what he means to the wandering world and my people in particular. Well, it's not something I can tell you."
"HEY, LORD AMA---"
The kitsune clapped one harsh hand against Hikaru's mouth, while the other wrapped around Hikaru's throat, cutting off his words mid-syllable. Hikaru gagged, but Osusuki was careful not to even bruise him. After a moment, the fox spirit released Hikaru, leaving the boy to gasp weakly as he leaned against the table.
"Sit," Osusuki ordered him. This time, Hikaru complied, rubbing his neck gingerly. He reached for his cup of tea and recklessly swigged it down. The taste of chrysanthemums filled his mouth. He fixed the kitsune with his most steeliest look, one which he learned from both Sai and Touya Akira. It must have worked, because Osusuki tensed and his claws dug into the soft wood of the table.
"I mean it, Foxy-loxy. Talk!"
"Do you really want to go this far?" the kitsune reached for his mask. Hikaru's eyes widened, but Osusuki merely slipped one finger under it before pausing. "Do you know why my kind wore masks tonight, Shindo Hikaru?"
"Because you're butt ugly underneath?" Hikaru hazarded a guess.
Osusuki snorted. "I swear you go out of your way to become filleted. But no. A kitsune is a spirit of illusions, of images not quite grounded in reality, of desires not quite spoken. Tonight, however, in front of all the gods, we kitsune cannot hold our illusions together. The masks we have tonight are not for our guests, though. Try again, and guess. It is something, the only thing, we kitsune share with many of you mortals."
Hikaru scratched an ear. "Well, do you wear masks because you don't like ... looking in mirrors?"
He wasn't quite sure what made him say that, but to his amazement, Osusuki nodded begrudgingly.
"Bravo, Shindo-kun, I wouldn't have expected you to be so insightful. Well, that's almost correct, anyway. The gods are like truest of all mirrors, ones that can strip away all pretentions and illusions, leaving us bare. But it is not the mirrors themselves we fear. It is what we find reflected back at us in them. That is why we must wear our masks, not for the gods, but for each other and for ourselves. However, the first time Sai ever saw me .... he saw as a god would, straight through all my spells ... he saw me like this."
With an elegant sweep of his hand, Osusuki tore the mask away. Hikaru had his hands ready to shield his eyes, but to his surprise, a perfectly normal human face stared back at him. Osusuki's black hair had been unbound, and it cascaded around his heart shaped face. Two amber-green eyes flashed above a long, delicate nose. Only the presence of small, almost tiger like stripes at the very edge of his face belied the fact that Osusuki was not truly human. The kitsune was nowhere in the same league as Amatsu Mikaboshi when it came to beauty, but he had an earthly, wild aura that the Lord of Evil could not match with all his elegant darkness.
Hikaru suddenly felt rather plain looking. He plucked at his robes.
"Even if I had my glamour on, or my mask, or anything else, this is what Sai would see." Osusuki continued. "It is his greatest power, his ability to see things to their source."
"I don't think you look that bad," Hikaru shrugged. "Your attitude and tactics stink, but it's not like you have to go around wearing paper bags on your heads ..."
"You really aren't that bright, are you? I'm not talking about physical beauty. Why would we want to hide that? Look beyond my face, little mortal. Do you see?"
Hikaru's previous headache intensified. Something flickered in the fox spirit's evergreen eyes, something that reminded him of the rushing crash of the wild stream untamed, the hot blood pulse of the predator on the hunt, the sharp metallic taste that proceeded the first snap of lightening ... and something even beyond that, something old beyond the reckoning of time, beyond the concepts of mortality, something that moved in the deep, dark earth, where sunlight and shadows might as well have been one and the same.
"Yes. Just as he can see deep into a Go game, to the point he can predict his opponent's every move, Sai can read past our surface, until he touches our true nature. It's something usually only the youngest mortal children have, before they learn to deceive themselves. Didn't you ever wonder why there are so many stories about monsters who eat children? It's not only so that parents can scare their brats into obeying. You would think we'd go for something that had a bit more meat and a bit less snot. But no ... we go after them because they can see that we are monsters."
Osusuki traced a finger over his discarded mask. "The first time I met Sai, I thought I was going to have to kill him. We wanderers are not meant to be seen without our illusions."
The air suddenly sparked with bright pinwheels of frozen light, and the world began to take on a glassy look, as if it had been sealed underneath a sheet of plastic. Hikaru tried to get up, but his muscles refused to work. "W...What are you doing?"
"Like I said, I can't tell you what Sai means to us. But I can show you ...." Osusuki had come around to his side of the table again, and Hikaru felt himself being drawn into those impossibly emerald eyes ...
And then the world melted away ...
to be continued in part 6b