In the Forests of the Night

by Murinae

Nearly a thousand years ago, Fujiwara no Sai died for the love of a game. But pasts don't always stay in the past, and even ghosts can be haunted too ... as Hikaru is about to find out.

17. 11b: Beating Hearts new!

In the Forests of the Night
A Hikaru no Go ghost story

Part 11b: Beating Hearts

---

Cold ... so cold. Not good. SO not good. Ouch. Something hurts! Sore.

"Hikaru?"

Ears work. That's good. Maybe.

"Hikaru, wake up."

Wake up? Huh? I'm not ... wait. No. Guess I'm not. He cracked his eyes open just the slightest bit. A soft, grey light met his gaze, and above him, a white mist curled ... his breath?

It occurred to him suddenly that he liked breathing. A lot. One couldn't do it enough in a lifetime.

He tried to sit up, biting his lip as a new jolt of pain sizzled through him. After a few moments, the pain subsided, although the worried voice beside him had not. Hikaru ignored the voice for the moment, focusing on his more immediate, internal problems. Owww.

"Take it slowly, you've been sleeping for quite a while now ..."

But had he been merely asleep? For some reason, he thought that it was more than that.

Hikaru reached behind his back, fingers hesitating slightly at the cool, gritty soil that met his touch. Gingerly, he pushed upwards, groaning as all sorts of twinges and aches protested to the motion. Above him, the glowing, eggshell tint of the horizon indicated that either dawn was breaking or night had come again. Hikaru thought it was the former, since the light slitting through the grave markers seemed to be growing stronger.

Wait. Grave markers?!

"S-sai?" It wasn't as much of a word as it was a hiss of air. His mouth felt dry and gritty, and a strange, acidic aftertaste lingered, making his stomach roil. Yuck! It's like I've been licking litterboxes or something. "Ugh. What happened?"

"Hikaru!"

"What happened?" he insisted.

"You ... you ...." Sai's voice wavered, then stopped. Turning his head, Hikaru finally noticed that Sai was kneeling next to him, though the ghost remained semi-transparent. It was almost as if Sai was afraid to appear fully.

"Sai? You okay!?"

"M-me?! Yes. I'm fine. You're the one who a-almost d-di-- " Sai spluttered to a stop, and to Hikaru's surprise, he began to fade further, until only the faintest outline remained.

"I a-almost d-di' what?!" Hikaru rubbed his head. "Sai! Get back here! What is with you?!"

"You d-d-di... it ... I ... gomen ne," Sai's image solidified slowly. "I mean, I'm fine, if you're all right."

"Uh ...okaaaaay. Nevermind." Hikaru clenched his teeth as his voice sent another spear of pain through his thoughts. "Where are we?"

"Cemetery. Exactly at the point where we started, actually."

"Where we started?! But what happened to the stars ... and ..." Hikaru paused, wincing. Trying to think past the muddled blur of his thoughts was like tearing into a newly scabbed wound. He had a hazy half-memory of stars. And something else. And being cut in half. He blanched. He definitely remembered being cut in half. But after that . . . he clutched his head, confused at the tumbling images. It was as if someone had taken a video camera and shaken it up and down and side to side, leaving a swirl of motion where there should have been solid memories. "S-shit! I thought it was supposed to be all back!"

"Hikaru?! What are you talking about?!"

"Oh no, don't tell me ... this better not be like some LAME movie ending where everything was some wonky dream. Cause if that's true, I'm gonna go apeshit on SOMETHING. I don't know exactly on what, but something is going to get whomped." Hikaru pounded a fist onto the ground, then immediately regretted the action.

Owwwww! Okay, so it's not only my brain ... why does everything feel like I've sent it through a meat grinder? Twice?!

"I don't understand. Why do you want to eh ... whomp something?!" Sai leaned forward, his eyes wide and worried. Hikaru reached out to swat him away, then jerked back abruptly as his hands passed completely through Sai's arm.

"It couldn't have been a dream. After all that ..." Hikaru stopped, staring at his hands. He had curled them into fists, unconsciously. Taking a deep breath, he relaxed them, then tried to do the same thing in his mind. But shifting through his remaining memories was like trying to hold bubbles between his fingers; they had a glinting, fragile quality to them. "It happened, didn't it?"

"Well, I see someone is up to his normal processing speed."

"WAAAAAAGH!" If he hadn't already been on his rear, Hikaru knew he would have fallen again for the umpteenth time.

This has not been a good night for my butt, he thought offhandedly, and felt something like giggles erupt from deep within him. Not to mention my sanity.

The urge to giggle hysterically mushroomed even more as a gigantic black fox ambled into his field of vision. From nose tip to tails (of which there were nine, he noted), it was much longer than Hikaru was tall. If he were standing, the fox's muzzle would still easily reach Hikaru's chest. From his sitting position, however, the creature towered over him. Every instinct within Hikaru urged him to run, but his body was less than enthusiastic about cooperating.

"Tch, trying to get away again, my little onigiri? Didn't I tell you from the beginning that you aren't exactly on my menu? I have more taste than that, I would think." The kitsune sat back onto its haunches. One of the tails swatted him across the chest.

Wait ... fox ... nine tails ...

"Osusuki! Ugh. I take that part about the dream back." Contrary to his words, however, Hikaru relished the relief that washed over him, cool and comforting, at the visual confirmation.

It wasn't a dream. However, even on the heels of that relief, his skin prickled and his muscles tensed. And if it wasn't a dream, that means I actually played a ... "ACCCK!"

"Kiyiii! Well, good morning to you too," Osusuki yawned, showing a long row of sharp, white teeth. "I see your manners are as impeccable as ever."

Blatantly ignoring the fox, as well as his gleaming teeth, Hikaru reached out towards Sai again. The ghost smiled sadly as his hand passed through once more. "So last night ..."

"The night was real but it is over. As is the magic that bound the place."

"Oh." Hikaru blinked. "OH!" suddenly a hand shot up to touch his head. "My hair ..."

"--is back to that disgusting style you like so much. When I said the magic was over, I meant it," the kitsune gave a barking laugh as Hikaru patted the bleached blonde strands with something close to sheer adoration.

"Good! But ..." Hikaru bit his lip. If he skirted around that one point in his memory then perhaps ... "If you're real, then that means ..." I'm forgetting something. No. SomeONE. "Wait! What about Torajiro..."

"Oh him?" Osusuki straightened, and Hikaru heard a soft growling, the sounds rising and falling almost like words. As the sound faded, a slight misting of white began to coalesce before them, slowly gaining substance. Within heartbeats, Hikaru was able to pick out the now familiar shape of his fellow deishi.

"I thank you, Osusuki-sama." Torajiro knelt by him. "Shindo-kun, I'm glad you are finally awake. We were all very worried."

The ghost's image was very faint, to the point where Hikaru could clearly read the name on the gravestone behind him. "Oy, you okay? You're kinda doing the see-right-through you thing."

"I'm fine, if but a little tired ... in my current form, it is hard to remain here, in this place, in this time," Torajiro said. "However, it is definitely an improvement over my last accommodation."

"You don't have to go back, do you?"

"No. I am free," the ghost tilted his back, and the smile the crossed his face was like a second sunrise. "And I thank you for that, Shindo-kun."

"You're ... welcome?" Hikaru rubbed his eyes. Having Torajiro in front of him sparked the remaining bits of his memory into working. All the other events of the night gained a sharper clarity, like a lens twisting into focus. All events, that is, save one. "Ugh."

"Shindo-kun ... are you ..."

"There's something ... kinda weird, still," he muttered. He didn't have to look up to feel the others tensing around him. "With what I remember."

"Osusuki," said Sai, with a voice as brittle as an obsidian edge. "I warned you . . ."

The kitsune tossed his snout back, his ruff bristling. "Whatever I took from him, it has been restored. And whatever is lost within him, no one else can give back. We healed what we could. Some wounds go deeper than the flesh. Of any one of us, you should know that, Fujiwara-sensei."

Hikaru clutched at the ground, fingers scrabbling into the cold, cold loam. It didn't help steady the spinning sensation, however, nor did it fill the blank space in his mind. "B-but ..."

"What exactly do you remember, Hikaru?" Sai asked. The ghost folded his hands in his lap, but Hikaru could still see them shaking.

"I ..." Swords, stars, and darkness overwhelming ... He flinched, clutching his head.

"HIkaru?!" Something brushed by him, like the touch of the wind. "Osusuki! Do something ..."

Nothing but darkness ...He clamped his teeth on his bottom lip. The pain helped him focus. Don't think about it. Don't ...

"Hikaru!"

Cracking open an eye, he saw Sai peering anxiously at him. Oddly enough, the ghost appeared to be sideways ... after a moment, Hikaru realized that he was the one who had slumped over.

"I--" Hikaru pushed himself upward, trying to ignore the fact that he had to do it twice before he could sit straight. "I can't." His fingers clenched spasmodically in the cold dirt as another shiver rippled through him. "I don't think I'm ... I ..." He brought his hands up, covering his face.

"It's all right, Shindo-kun," Torajiro's words came quietly, but they held a subtle power and rhythm that made them stronger than if he had shouted them. "It'll come back."

"But --"

"It'll come back. It still hurts, I know, but you're stronger than what happened ... stronger than anyone of us here, in that aspect. You won't let this set you back because that's not the kind of person you are -- of this much I am certain! Do what you can for now, remember what you can, and it will be enough."

Torajiro's voice never wavered, his eyes never turned away, never showed any doubt. And for a brief, bright moment Hikaru understood why Sai had missed the young man so very much. And why his students would build shrines to him. "Just try, all right? What is the last thing you recall?"

"Um. Well, I remember challenging. ol' Fart--"

Hikaru paused, glancing up, eyes wide. "Eh ... he isn't ..."

"No. You won, Shindo Hikaru," Osusuki said. For the first time, Hikaru noticed that the fox had laid down so that his nose and tails curled into a complete, furry circle around Hikaru's body. "The question remains is how you won."

Hikaru gritted his teeth, but his memories remained stubbornly blank. "I don't really know. That's the problem! I remember seeing the battlefield, and drawing my sword. And then I was fighting." He could still feel the fear creeping mouselike and furtive through him, eating him hollow inside. He shuddered. "Amatsu Mikaboshi lifted his sword and he ... he ..."

Hikaru spluttered to a stop. Suddenly, it became too painful to look any of the others in the face. When he spoke again, his voice was very, very small. "I think he killed me."

Sai made a strangled sound. Torajiro's image flickered wildly, like an incandescent bulb about to burn out. He could even feel the tension thrumming through the kitsune encircling him, as if Osusuki was preparing to run or pounce.

"I don't really remember anything after that," he said, twisting awkwardly as the silence continued. "Everything just ... stops. I was ... I was hoping you guys could tell me what happened."

Hikaru clenched his teeth as no one spoke. "You said I won, right? You saw that ... right?"

"Actually, at that point, we thought you had lost," Osusuki said. "You did look quite deceased -- rather messily so."

"Whaaaa?!" Hikaru tried to shoot to his feet, but didn't quite succeed in making it there. Both Sai and Torajiro started forward, but it was Osusuki who grabbed a mouthful of his jacket, keeping him from bumping painfully to the ground again. The kitsune slowly lowered his head, forcing Hikaru to sit once again.

"Sit. Stay. Be still," he ordered primly.

"I am not a puppy." Hikaru scowled, but he made no further movement. "This just sucks! It makes no sense. I mean, I won. I'm here, and not in Hell or d-dead ... wait. Is that what you're all trying to tell me? That I'm dead?! Oh shit. Oh SHIT! It's like that stupid movie! I'm gonna kill Waya for making me watch ... wait, since I'm dead, I can't ... ohmygodwhatamIgonnado ... OWW!"

Osusuki quickly opened his jaws, releasing Hikaru's arm. The fox hadn't broken the skin, but Hikaru could see the indention from each and every tooth that had clamped down on his flesh. "Did I mention I hate you?"

"But did you feel that?"

"YES! Just like the rest of the excruciating pain exploding all over my body!"

"Then you're not dead, are you, little pup?" Osusuki blew a long breath through his whiskers, making them twitch. Hikaru couldn't really tell, but it seemed as if the kitsune was laughing. "As much as we would love to enlighten you as to what happened after your ... how would you put it? Ah, shish-kebabbing, the fact is, we do not know. I, for one, did not see anything beyond the point when Amatsu Mikaboshi-sama drew you into the Heart of the Game. I only know what I heard from Fujiwara-sensei and Honinbo Shuusaku."

"You didn't see it?" Hikaru closed his eyes. "What about you, Sai? You were there. After he ... y'know."

The ghost dropped his head, letting his long hair obscure his face.

"Sai?"

"Shindo-kun, we were ..." Torajiro finally answered, when it became apparent that Sai wouldn't. "Well, up until the point Lord Amatsu Mikaboshi err ... c-cut you, we were with you. But then we were back in the forest with your ... ah... b-body... and there was so much blood."

Hikaru rubbed his stomach uneasily. Blood? I don't remember that part. "Sai?"

Sai turned away. His fingers opened and closed as if clutching for something, but his fan did not appear. Without it, his hands looked empty, helpless.

"You were ... umm... " Torajiro fumbled, "there was so much blood, and you were..." He blanched, shuddering. "You... really did .... die ...I think. Or something ... worse than that."

"Something ... worse?"

The darkness engulfs him, thick and cloying.

Hikaru swallowed, feeling the bile creep up the back of his throat. Desperate for a distraction, he picked at the bandage around his hand. Its presence prompted him to hastily pull up his jacket and shirt to check his stomach. To his relief, the skin there remained remarkably bandage free, without a single trace of a wound or a scar. Yet, if he thought about it, he could still feel a odd prickling along where the injury should have been, like a faint ripple marking the impact of a stone long thrown.

He quickly resolved not to think about it.

"It ... it wouldn't stop," Torajiro's voice was very faint. "There was just so much. Everywhere."

Sai abruptly stood, still not saying a word, and walked away. He stayed within eyesight, but Hikaru guessed the ghost had purposely put himself just out of earshot.

"Ah ..." Torajiro paused, his expression torn between following his mentor and staying and finishing his narrative.

"Okay, look ... you don't have to tell me every gory detail." Hikaru grimaced. It's not like I want to hear about being sliced like a ham!

"I didn't know what was happening, or what to do. I thought we would all end up in Hell." Torajiro scrubbed the bridge of his nose wearily. "And you just .... laid there. But Sai ... he wouldn't let the rest of us give up. Kept trying to reach you. So I ... I tried to stop the bleeding ... and then I had help."

The fur Hikaru was leaning against bunched and rippled as Osusuki shifted position.

"You?!" He turned to face the fox.

"What, you think I have no compassion?" Osusuki smirked. Hikaru crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

"I see you know me too well. But you underestimate just how annoying your sensei can be when he has his mind on something. Then there is the fact that Inari-sama decreed that we kitsune owed a debt you. And, strangely enough, you also seemed to inspire something in other wanderers ... " Osusuki shrugged. "You had everything from kitsune to river gods ... I wouldn't say concerned ... but definitely curious as to your fate."

The kitsune's whiskers twitched, and the smirk grew larger. "When you have a whole pantheon of deities behind you, fixing mortal bodies is relatively easy. But as for souls ah, that's where things got complicated. Not even the gods can do much about that. I'm still quite amazed. We all thought ... well ... we hoped you wouldn't mind being fed tofu through a straw for the rest of your little existence."

Osusuki paused, and the smirk disappeared. His tone lowered, rumbling with such force that Hikaru's own skin vibrated from the contact. "You ... you were very lucky. You came very close to receiving another perspective on being in this cemetery. I don't know what happened to bring you back, or what you did while you were gone. But I do know that even I, a lord of the wandering, cannot explain all the mysteries that shadow our worlds. Especially when it involves those with star souls."

The kitsune's head tilted slightly towards Sai's direction, and for a moment, Hikaru thought he saw a real smile flicker across the pointed muzzle. But it could have just been a trick of the light.

Feeling horribly awkward, Hikaru fingered the bandage wrapped around his palm. "Um. Ah. Well, thanks for fixing the being sawed in half thing anyway. Both of you."

"I'm just relieved that it worked. But I am sorry that we couldn't help or heal ...." Torajiro gestured at the bandage around Hikaru's hand. "You gave that one to yourself. Those are the ones that stay and scar ... those are the ones that you have to carry around the longest."

The Go saint, however, was also looking toward Sai when he said that.

Hikaru sighed. The familiar roiling in his stomach had been growing steadily for the past few minutes, and the force of the nausea was enough to make him sway. If he felt this way, then Sai ...

"Oy!" he cupped his hands around his mouth. "Sai, quit that! And get back over here. Look, it's not like anything was your fault." Hikaru clutched his midsection as the cramping increased even more. "Geez! I'm glad I didn't have breakfast yet, cause I'm about to lose yesterday's lunch. Stop feeling so bad. If not for you, then for me and my stomach."

For a moment, it seemed as if Sai was ready to bolt. Muscles visibly tense, arms held tightly against his side, the ghost seemed torn. Hikaru braced both hands against the ground, readying himself to loose what little he had left in his stomach. Sai ... please ...

With a visible droop to his shoulders, Sai shuffled back towards them. Hikaru took a long, trembling breath as the tightness gripping his guts eased slightly. But what remained still made him wish he had never even thought about eating within the past week.

"Look, bean brain! It's not your fault," he said.

"I let you go, Hikaru. I let you go there, knowing the price that you would have to pay to bring yourself to that point--"

"Whoa! Hang on. You let me go?! Like, you think you could've stopped me? Man, when have you been able to stop me from doing what I want?! Huh?!" Hikaru snorted. "Okay, so I wasn't too thrilled about being cut in half. Twice." Hikaru grimaced. Twice?! "But it got me where I needed to go. I don't know how or why, but it worked, didn't it?"

"Perhaps it worked because, paradoxically, the edge of death is when mortal souls are at their strongest," Osusuki put in. "It's when you have the chance to move between worlds, or even find the ones you hold within yourself."

Sai shuddered again.

"ANYWAY, I'm not dead, you idiot. So stop acting as if I was. We're still stuck together, and I'm NOT about to drag around your sorry ass if you're gonna be like this, you know."

The rolling feeling increased slightly, then slackened. Hikaru blew out a breath of relief when the ghost moved and sat down next to him. "It's not a big deal. Okay? I'm fine. Really."

"But Hikaru ... I wasn't there for you. In the last part of your game . . ." Sai stopped and his chin dropped slightly, causing his hair to fall across his face and eyes once more. "You were alone. And I couldn't help."

"Ugggh. I think I liked it better when you angsted only about Go." Hikaru closed his eyes, mentally gathering his courage. "Okay, I'm only gonna say this once, so you better listen. I can't really remember, all right? It's kinda all fuzzy and really weird and it sounds stupid, but it's like it wasn't ...me there. I can't explain it. But I do know one thing. I wasn't alone, in what went on there. " He swallowed, the words thick against his throat. "And what happened afterward."

"H-hikaru ..."

"You came after me. I can't remember everything about that part. I c-can't." Hikaru tamped down on the shivering sensation inside him, fighting not to give into it. "But some part of me remembers this much. You came after me through the darkness. I felt that. You came after me through the darkness, even though it was like water, even though it felt like we were ... d-drowning. So I wasn't alone, I wasn't ever alone. Even from the very start, it was your game on which I built mine. Your game ... was in mine. You were there. Just like always."

He didn't know how long the silence lasted this time. It was long enough, though, for his hitching breaths to even out, and his hands to stop shaking.

When he was certain the last tremor had faded, he looked up.

And caught the sudden flash of white as Sai brought his hands together. The ghost had his fan back.

It's gonna be all right now. "Look! Enough with the cheesy bits! We're missing the most important point."

"H-hikaru?!"

"I won, didn't I?" Hikaru grinned, hoping that if he did so, Sai would as well. "Ha! Wish Waya and Touya could've seen it. That'll teach THEM to doubt me! I won against a Demon God! GO ME!!" He pumped a fist into the air, then winced. "Ow. Okay, no victory dance. I just wish I knew how I won."

Again the wisping memory of stars flickered in his mind, but the solid images escaped him. Hikaru ran a hand through his hair. "This sucks."

"Hikaru ... however you won, I'm just glad you did. You have every right to be proud of yourself. It must have been some move you made. The board was very scattered when I last saw it. I doubt even I could've saved the situation ..." Sai said.

The ghost seemed to have regained some of his normal cheerful attitude, but Sai's voice still held a strange, discordant note -- something not quite like jealousy but similar to it lurked beneath the words. The sense of overwhelming sadness had not quite gone away either, though it was tempered with something different now. "We've got to recreate the game when we get home, maybe we can figure out ..."

"No!" Hikaru blinked, half surprised at the vehemence behind his voice. Osusuki, Sai, and Torajiro gaped at him. "No ... not that game. I'm not going back there again. Ever. It'd be nice if I remembered the game and how I won it, yeah, but I don't want to replay it. It'd be too much like ...no. Just. No."

"But Hikaru--"

"Kiyii! It's getting into true morning now. As you humans say, the day doth show, the channering worm doth chide, the cock doth crow. If I don't eat him first, that is. It's time for all good little kitsune to go back to their courts." Hikaru nearly toppled backwards as Osusuki surged to his feet. "And it's also drawing close to time when little ghosts have to go as well. Say your goodbyes, Honinbo Shuusaku, for the wandering night has past."

Torajiro glanced at Sai. "Osusuki-sama, please ..." he trailed off, his eyes downcast.

"Oh very well. Five minutes. I might as well rip my own belly out while I'm at it. It's bound to slop out at any moment anyway, given how everything else has gone soft and mushy."

The fox sighed, and Hikaru felt something tug at the base of his coat. "Come on, up on your paws, my little onigiri. Let's test out how well you legs work since you nearly became separated from them." Osusuki let Hikaru lean against him as he struggled to his feet.

"Um. I'll be over there, if you need me," he said to Sai and Torajiro, who barely nodded in response.

He let Osusuki lead them a small distance from the two ghosts. Though sore, his legs worked fairly well. Hikaru put both hands above his head and made a full body stretch, moaning as things popped and pulled into place.

"Well, you are a little worse for the wear, my little cutlet, but you fared far better than most mortals, when they brush up against those who walk the night." Osusuki sat back on his haunches and curled his nine tails around him. "I believe you have questions?"

Hikaru raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. How does your butt stay up with all those tails?! Isn't your ass really heavy?"

Osusuki's snapped his jaws shut, narrowing his eyes. "Of all the things you could have asked me ..." he suddenly grinned. "I see that there was no need to worry about your metal state. You are still as thick as ever."

"Look, I'm sick of the mushy crap." Hikaru crossed his arms stubbornly. "And I don't wanna talk about more deep stuff, okay? My brain hurts enough already, thank you very much."

"I see. But just to make sure ... though you have lost that one memory, you have the others back now, correct? All the games are back in the proper places?"

Hikaru paused, then nodded. "Yeah. I think so. They're in there, even the ones when I ... uh ... you ... had fleas. I just can't remember how I won that game."

"But ... do you really want to remember?"

Hikaru blinked. "Are you kidding me? Ever heard of bragging rights?"

"You played a god, Shindo Hikaru. And won. What sort of fun would you have with playing mere mortals after that?" Osusuki tilted his head. Despite the growing light, his eyes seemed to glow with their own inner spark. "I've always wondered this about Sai ... what would he do if he ever caught that silly thing he chases ... what was it? Hand of God? Something about a perfect move that wins every game?"

"I ... don't think that's what it is ..." Hikaru stopped. Why did I say that? He scratched his head.

Osusuki tilted his head in the other direction. "Ah. Is that so? It seems you remember more than you acknowledge."

Hikaru swallowed.

"Or at least, you remember all you can, at the point where you are now. Trust me, some things are better left to chase after, little mortal, than to catch. But take heart. Those who stray into the wandering night rarely come back out unchanged, Shindo Hikaru, if they come out at all. You may not remember the specifics now, but I think you have won a far more important battle than you know. There is power within you, though it merely sleeps at the present. "

Osusuki stretched, his long snout pointing towards the sun. He rose to all four paws, shook himself thoroughly, then yawned in a wide, teeth flashing, tongue lolling manner.

"One more thing, little starbringer. Nothing mortal nor that which once was mortal can last forever. That's the price. It is a wise being indeed who knows the power of what he has before it becomes a memory of what he has not. Even wanderers need to find rest, some day."

"What's with the fortune cookie stuff? I'm just glad it's all over and that Sai's still with me. He's not going to Hell, I'm not going to Hell, so everything's fine. Though this is the LAST time I take a shortcut through a haunted cemetery; actually, last time I'm gonna be going through ANY cemetery. I'm gonna be cremated and dumped somewhere when I go, yup!"

The kitsune shook his head.

"What?" Hikaru stared at the fox, who gazed back, green eyes unfathomable in the hazy twilight.

"Unfortunately, I think that when you finally do understand the import of what I've said, it will not be without pain."

"Look, I'm REALLY tired of the "Hikaru is a idiot" jokes! I'm not that dumb! I beat the Lord o' Badass, didn't I? I saved Sai ... not to mention your sorry tails. Even if I don't remember how! Sure, me an Sai'll still fight and do dumb stuff, but as long as we're together, things'll be okay."

Taking a deep breath, he straightened his shoulders, forcing every last shred of confidence into his next words. "It'll be okay. If ol' Torajiro can live with him for twenty something years, I can too! NO way that Go saint's gonna beat ME in this department. We'll figure it out ...we have my entire lifetime to get it right."

Osusuki sighed, and to Hikaru's surprise, the fox pressed his nosed gently to Hikaru's chest. "You mortals never listen. You'll learn, but I guess it'll have to be the hard way. For what it's worth, given time and lots of patience, you will indeed be a starsouled mortal to be reckoned with. I promise you that."

"Uh ..." feeling strangely off balance by the kitsune's praise, Hikaru itched the back of his neck. Then, almost in afterthought, he brought a hesitant hand to touch the fox behind the left ear, scratching gently as he had once felt Sai do to him, when he was in Osusuki's mind. The fox let out a slow hum.

"And I thank you for this as well," he said. Then he sneezed, forcing Hikaru back on his rump one last time.

"Oh YUCK! Fox boogers!" Hikaru wiped at his jacket. "Did you have to do that?"

Osusuki flicked his nine tails, an enigmatic grin curling up around his muzzle.

"S-shindo-kun?" Torajiro came towards him. Sai remained in the background, his hands folded. He appeared to be deep in thought. Hikaru glanced at the Go saint curiously as Torajiro fiddled with the hem of his sleeve. "Er ... Shindo-kun, I ...."

"Hey, just call me Hikaru. All my best buds who are ghosts do," he said, and was rewarded with a shy smile.

"Ah, I just want you to know that I think you have a very bright future ahead of you. I wish we could have met in life. I would have enjoyed the chance to play you. I would have given you quite a challenge."

"Yeah, I bet," said Hikaru, managing a small smile. "Where you going now? I mean ... if you don't have anywhere to stay, you could hang in my brain for awhile. I'm kinda used to it by now, since ..." he jerked a thumb toward Sai. "Hey! I bet you can help me in calligraphy class!"

"Hikaru!" Sai broke in, shocked.

"Shindo-k ... Hikaru ... I would like, more than anything, to spend time with you and Sai. Perhaps it would have been my destiny, in another place or another time. Unfortunately, fate had other plans ... it has been a long, dark road. I am tired. But now at least ... now, I can seek rest." Hikaru's mouth dropped open as the Go saint bowed deeply to him. "My purpose here has been fulfilled. I no longer worry about Sai. And I thank you for that."

"Shuu-- eh." Hikaru paused as Torajiro shook his head. "Oh. T-torajiro ..." Hikaru fidgeted, feeling a little abashed about calling the older man by his first name. "You don't have to ... look, I owe you thanks too. Cause without you ... me an' Sai, we couldn't be the way we are."

"Then let's just say we're both blessed," Torajiro gave him a brilliant smile. "I am better for having known you. Both of you." He turned to Sai, and bowed low once more. "Til' we meet again, sensei."

As the Go Saint shimmered out of view, Hikaru felt a familiar twisting in his stomach. He said nothing, perhaps because he felt the same way.

"I must take my leave as well," said Osusuki. He glanced at Sai. "This will be the last time I see the both of you together, or should I say, you will see me. The terms were set forth in the beginning, and I cannot break those."

Still, the fox paused, his deep emerald eyes never leaving Sai.

"Fujiwara no Sai ..."

"You gave me a chance to see magic and to use my own, Lord of the Foxes. However, what I said back then still holds true today. Even if it was a thousand times harder, I would still choose the path I did. Especially if it leads me to where I am now."

"I can see why."

"Hey, why are the both of you staring at ME again?" Hikaru demanded. Am I missing something? "What?! Is it my hair again? It better be okay, or I am gonna find you, Rabbit Breath, and make you sorry! Where's a mirror?! I swear you make me crazy ..." He froze, memory crackling to life as the words left his mouth.

Wait. Crazy?

Crap! I did forget one more thing!

"Crazy ... crazy ... oh great! What happened to ol' screwloose?!"

"Ah. You mean Sugawara-san." Osusuki stopped mid-stride.

"Yeah, him. I still don't know why I took him out of Hell. If anyone deserves ..."

"No, Hikaru. What you did was right," Sai's voice was very, very quiet. "He's been there for a very long time. And it's not a part of your nature to just leave someone behind like that."

"Or in other words, you're also soft on top of being stupid. As for Sugawara no Akitada, well, he may be free of Hell, but ..." Osusuki grinned, but it was a smile that showed quite a bit of fang. "He is a part of the wandering night now. Since he likes to ... play ... so much, I was thinking I could show him some other games, besides Go ...." the kitsune's expression reminded Hikaru of lean shadows rushing through the long grass. "Gotta do something with the free time that just opened up next Setsubon, anyways."

"Uhh... " Hikaru suddenly found himself very happy that he wasn't a certain Go sensei.

"Well, I have other matters, in other realms, that call for my attention. Seems some idiot nine-tailed cousin of mine has managed to be sealed in a child's bellybutton, of all things. A bellybutton ... kiyii! I swear, you humans will be the end of me yet. But for all your annoying tendencies ...you have friends in the night now, Shindo Hikaru, Fujiwara no Sai. Even if you can't see us, we'll be watching."

"That's not very comforting!" Hikaru grumbled but even as the first syllable left his mouth, the fox had faded away, leaving Hikaru and Sai alone.

By now, morning had managed to crest over the entire graveyard. In the bright, newborn light, Hikaru suddenly found he had a very hard time looking directly at his friend. So much had happened.

Where do we stand now? I know so much more about him, stuff that he probably doesn't want me to know. But the weirdest part ...

I now know enough about him to feel like I REALLY don't know him at all ...how stupid is THAT?!

"Well," said Hikaru, as he shifted nervously from foot to foot. "Uh ..."

Sai looked rather uncomfortable as well. One hand toyed with his fan. "Hikaru ..."

"Mom's gonna freak! They probably have the police looking for us!" he babbled in panic. "Ugh, I'm gonna get it when I get home."

"Hikaru ..."

"And Waya is NEVER gonna let me hear the end of it. He's gonna say I told you so!' five billion times I bet!"

"HIKARU!" Sai demanded. "I have something important to say."

Oh great. Here comes the mushy lecturing part.

"You still owe me two games!!"

Or not.

"What do you mean I owe you two games?! I said if we got home EARLY we'd play two games! And this is not early!"

"But it's late enough to be early now!"

"I'm tired! ONE GAME!"

"HIKARU! YOU'RE SO MEAN!"

"Shut up! You're hurting my ears! Is Go all you ever think about?!"

"SO CRUEL! WAAAAAA."

"Umm ... Sai?"

It must have been his voice that did it. Or the way he said the words.

"WHAAAA--- ehhh, huh? Yes?"

Because it was like the throwing of a switch, really. The ghost immediately stopped caterwauling, becoming still and attentive. Hikaru found himself wishing he hadn't spoken. The look that Sai's eyes now held ... of both strength and sorrow ... has that always been there? he wondered.

Or are we both different now?

Hikaru shuddered, feeling as if something unseen had brushed briefly against his skin -- an echo of a premonition perhaps.

"Hikaru?"

Things are changing, shifting.

But as long as we're together . . .

"Hikaru ... what is it?"

As long as we're together, it'll work out. Right?

"Nothing. Just thinking ... let's rent and pick apart some monster movies tonight! It'll be like comedy now!"

"Hikaru! How could you ... after ... but I wanna plaaaay!" Cause some things will never change ...

It'll work out. It has to.

"C'mon, you wimp," Shindo Hikaru gave his best friend in all the world, wandering or otherwise, the brightest grin he could manage, "let's go home."

Owari (?)

---

A/N: Well, almost. There is an epilogue to this, but it involves spoilers for the Hokuto cup, so you can stop here if you don't want to be spoiled. This is an ending of sorts, much like the next part is sort of a beginning. I tend to get things backwards, you know.