Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue.
Why?
It's something I ask myself late at night, when the breeze from the open window stirs the crimson threads of hair resting on my forehead. When I haven't seen him for a while. For a day. For an hour... the time doesn't seem to matter. He is, quite literally, always on my mind.
Why don't I tell him?
Always the answer is that... I'm afraid.
Not that the feelings won't be returned. I don't... I don't care if he loves me or if he regards me as merely another ally, nothing more. But... but what I could not stand...
I am the Youko. I am the greatest thief Makai has ever known. I am beautiful. I am desirable. I am intelligent and cunning and graceful. I could have almost anyone I wanted. I am pursued for my beauty and charm. Youkai and humans alike would and have died for me.
I could take that he was not one of these pursuers. I would not care beyond simple, shallow indignance that he did not care for my beauty and grace enough to want it.
I could not bear it if he rejected me entirely. I could not bear it if, knowing my affections, he withdrew entirely from me like a wave leaving a Kurama-fish bare and gasping and dying on the sand.
I am willing... I am willing to keep this to myself forever if it means that I will not lose him, his friendship, over this thing.
That is my greatest fear.
A/N: Sheesh, can we tell I'm hopelessly in love and trying to channel Kurama? -.- Just ignore this, please. Written over a five minute period in an attempt to justify my own actions in a similar situation. Gah.