A/N: This story was written for the November writing challenge in the Janet Evanovich Fan Fiction Facebook group. The event chosen was "celebration with friends", the trope chosen was "fake dating", and the funny quote was "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

"I need a date to a wedding."

Most women would be weak in the knees hearing those words from Ranger. They made me weak in the knees too, but also trepidatious. I had been his date to a wedding before, and during that time I'd been poisoned and almost set on fire by a former Army colleague of his.

"Why me?" I asked, spreading peanut butter on bread. "Don't you have other women to ask out?"

"No."

I raised my eyebrows. "Seriously? I figured you have a list of women in your contacts that you reach out to for…company when I'm not available or you're sick of me."

Ranger leaned back against my counter and put his hands in his coat pockets. "Babe, I don't have an active social life. You're it in terms of women I have even a little involvement with."

I wasn't sure what I thought about that. "Where is it? And when?"

"Florida Keys on New Year's Eve."

I threw my bread down on the counter. "That's in five days! Why are you just now waiting to ask me?"

"I didn't know if you and Morelli would be back on again."

Morelli and I had been off for the last two months. I hadn't seen or heard from him and hadn't totally minded it. I hadn't seen much of Ranger either, but that had been intentional too. I didn't need to get myself wrapped up in the most unavailable man in my orbit.

"Is it a job?"

"No, it's the wedding of my best friend from high school, Julio. I'm a groomsman. One of the bridesmaids is an ex-girlfriend of mine who is determined to get me back. Julio told her I have a girlfriend, so now I need to show up with one or she won't leave me alone."

I was stunned into silence. I wasn't a complete idiot— I figured Ranger had girlfriends in the past and it might have been part of the reason for his refusal to go down that path with me but hearing him acknowledge it was a different story.

"I'm in the role of human shield this weekend," I observed. "Keeping your ex away from you by pretending to be your loving girlfriend."

"Exactly."

I finished making my sandwich while I considered his request. I would have fun with Ranger at a wedding in Florida on New Year's Eve. It could be a weekend filled with great sex and fun playing my role. Morelli and I weren't together and it didn't seem like things were going to be firing up between us again anytime soon.

"Okay, I'll go," I said. "I'll be your girlfriend so you don't have to fight off your ex."

"Thank you. I'll pick you up at noon on Thursday. There's a dinner for some of us in Miami that evening to catch up before the wedding weekend starts. We'll stay in Miami Thursday night and head to the island on Friday. We will stay there all weekend and fly home Sunday afternoon."

"I'll be ready," I told him. I always had to take some time to untangle my feelings from Ranger after we slept together, but I would have time to do that once we got back. I told myself I was going to have fun pretending and not worry too much about the emotional stuff.

I was ready when Ranger pulled up at noon on Thursday. I was eager to leave behind cold, gray Trenton for sunny Florida. He stepped out of the passenger seat and put my suitcase in the trunk. I climbed in the backseat and one of the Rangeman employees drove us to the airport. We were flying private because Ranger didn't like to fly commercial. He said it was because he tended to set off the sensors at the TSA scanner, but I thought it was more likely that he didn't like to be without a gun on his body.

I didn't mind flying privately. There was no fighting for an armrest or having someone's head in my face because they reclined their seat. I sat across the aisle from Ranger so I could have room to spread out once we were airborne. When the plane leveled out from takeoff and pilot turned off the seatbelt sign, Ranger pulled out a laptop and started working.

"People are probably going to ask how long we've been dating," I told him. "What do we say?"

Ranger didn't take his eyes off the screen. "I doubt anyone will ask."

I rolled my eyes. "If you want to keep your ex away, you're going to need to give her details. How we met, things like that."

"I'll tell her the truth about how we met. You tell me how long we've been dating."

I considered it for a moment. "Casually, we've been seeing each other the last two years, but got more serious and exclusive over the summer."

Ranger nodded. "That works for me."

I crossed my legs and jiggled a foot in annoyance. "You're the one who insisted I come as your girlfriend. I don't want to be putting in all the effort."

Ranger closed his eyes for a minute and probably hoped the plane would go down before we got to Miami. "Okay. What else do I need to do?"

"She's probably going to ask you how serious things are. She'll want to know if marriage, joint bank accounts, or children are in the future for us. If she doesn't think you're in this for the long-term, she'll probably try even harder."

"She'll see right through that. She knew I didn't want those things when we were together."

"But I'm the one who changed that," I said, putting a hand over my heart. "She won't see me as a barrier if she thinks I'm just around for fun. She needs to believe that you met me and realized that you want those things with me." I shrugged. "I know how women like that think. She's going to try. You need to be convincing if you want her to believe the story. It doesn't matter how much I might appear to be in love with you. You have to act like you're in desperately in love with me."

There was a softness in Ranger's face that I didn't usually see outside of the bedroom. "I don't have to pretend."

I felt a knot in chest and my stomach did a flip. Why did he have to say that stuff? It didn't make the emotional part easier. I was thankful when the flight attendant took that time to offer me a drink. It broke up the flow of conversation and allowed Ranger to get back to work.

We rode the rest of the way to Miami in silence. Ranger worked and I played games on my phone. I kept wondering what his ex-girlfriend looked like and realized I didn't even know her name.

"What's her name?" I asked. "Tell me about her so I'm prepared."

"Sarah Peterson. She's a real estate agent in the Miami area."

I googled her and found her professional website along with her social media pages. She was a gorgeous blonde woman in her thirties with blue eyes and pouty lips. She specialized in high-end residential and commercial real estate. She had an MBA and spent plenty of time travelling according to her Instagram. She wore tiny bikinis in Aruba and was a sexy snow bunny in Telluride. There hadn't been a picture of her with a boyfriend on any social media in over a year.

"When were you together?"

"Six years ago. We went to high school together but didn't know each other well because she was a year behind me. I ran into her three months after I got out of the Army while I was doing bond enforcement for my cousin. She was a graduate student at the University of Miami. She got knocked over by an FTA running from me and hit her head. I checked on her after I had him in cuffs. I offered to take her to the hospital, but she said she'd rather have a drink instead. I met up with her afterwards and we were together a little over a year. It ended when I said I was going back to New Jersey and made it clear I had no interest in a long-term future with her."

I tried to imagine Ranger back then. I remembered the man I'd met four years ago who had long hair, pierced ears, and was a lot rougher around the edges than he was today. Becoming a businessman had polished him. He had been attractive before but was even more so these days. Sarah had undoubtedly kept tabs on him and nearly wet herself when she realized he was going to be in the wedding.

I wasn't sure who Ranger was kidding if he thought Sarah Peterson was going to be even remotely intimidated by me. She would be a ten even when she was sick with the flu and in her rattiest sweats. I was a seven a good day. It took me back to the feeling of being a human shield. Instead of being uncomfortable around his ex-girlfriend, he was expecting me to take the blows for him.

We landed in Miami and were met by another Rangeman employee who drove us through the city to the Rangeman office. This building was a much larger building than his Trenton office. It was ten stories with two levels of parking available. We were dropped off at the elevator in the parking garage with our luggage and the Rangeman guy left again. We took the elevator up to the ninth floor, which had required Ranger to punch in a code on a keypad. The doors opened to a foyer with gray tile, a black side table and a potted palm. Ranger unlocked a set of double doors and lead me into his apartment. Like the office itself, it surpassed the size of its Trenton equivalent. I was standing in a two-story loft with floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out over the ocean. But like his Trenton apartment, it was completely neutral both in aesthetic and personality. It felt like a suite at a high-end hotel.

"Nice," I commented as I walked around. "I'm surprised you don't live here all the time."

"I consider it sometimes," he said. He picked up our suitcases and carried them upstairs. There were three doors on the second level. I followed him to the first door, which turned out to be the master bedroom. It was luxurious and had a sensual feel about it that his Trenton apartment lacked. The master bath had a large soaking tub along with a glass-fronted shower large enough for a small party. The walk-in closet here was even larger than in Trenton. Ranger kept some work clothes in the apartment, but otherwise the hanging rods and shelves were bare.

"What's down the hall?" I asked.

"Another bedroom and storage," he replied.

"Am I sleeping in here with you?"

Ranger made a point of putting my suitcase in his closet.

"You're my girlfriend this weekend. My girlfriend would sleep in my room."

I left the room and went back to the main level to take in the beautiful view. Hearing Ranger call me his girlfriend brought up some feelings I didn't often explore. It would be easy to fall into the role. He was comfortable and fun to be around when he relaxed. He was easy to love, even if he didn't see it.

Dinner would be a barbeque at his friend's house. It was a very casual affair, meant for old friends to get together and relax before the bustle of the wedding festivities. I had picked out a pair of dark-wash cuffed jeans and a burgundy off-the-shoulder shirt with silver sandals. It felt fun but casual at the same time. I was going to this event with someone who looked like a GQ model, so I had to put in effort without looking too obvious. I took an hour to do my make-up, hair, and outfit. Ranger took ten minutes. I was surprised when I walked out of the bathroom to see him sitting on the edge of the bed in dark jeans, a gray t-shirt, and black sneakers.

"Who are you?" I asked. "I don't know this man."

"I own clothes that aren't black," he said. "You just don't see me wearing them very often because I'm usually working." He gave me a slow once-over. "You look nice."

"Thank you. I want to make a good impression."

He stood up and put an arm around my waist as he guided me out of the bedroom. "You will definitely make a good impression."

We climbed into a black Porsche convertible and drove through the city. The sun was low in the sky as we left the largely commercial area of Miami and wound our way into residential areas. We pulled up to a white house on a corner lot. It sat between a six-story apartment building on one side of the street and a smaller two-short apartment building next door. The privacy fence around the backyard didn't really live up to its name. It had a large porch and carport on the front. The driveway was already filled with cars, so Ranger pulled up behind an SUV on the street.

"Julio works for UPS and his fiancée Jasmine is an accountant," Ranger told me as we walked to the front door. "They're good people."

He knocked on the door and we only had a wait a couple of seconds for it to open. A tall, thin Latino man stood before us. He a couple of inches taller than Ranger and gave off some mild bad boy vibes. I saw tattoos on his arms and a couple on his legs. He beamed when he saw Ranger and threw his arms around him.

"Carlos, man, it's been too long," he said. He released Ranger and extended a hand to me. "You must Stephanie."

I shook his hand. "I am. It's nice to meet you, Julio."

We followed him into the house and through the living room and kitchen. It was recently renovated with hardwood floors, shiny new appliances, and black marble counters. He opened the backdoor, which led to a wooden deck. There was a decent-sized back yard filled with tables and chairs, lights strung across the yard and tied to the fence. A grilled sizzled and smoked on the other end of the deck. There were eight other people milling around the yard, laughing and talking, drinks in hand.

"Jasmine, this is Stephanie," Julio said, as a petite blonde woman appeared by his side. She smiled and reached out to shake my hand.

"Stephanie, it's so nice to meet you," she said. "I have to admit I was surprised when Julio told me Carlos had a girlfriend. He's so busy working these days I didn't think he had much time for anyone else."

I laughed casually and put my drink-free arm around Ranger. "He finds the time somehow. Don't you, babe?"

Ranger laughed and I knew it was because I called him babe and not because of his fictional change of priorities.

"Definitely," he replied. "She makes it easy."

He took me around the yard and introduced me to other people. It seemed like most of the people were friends of the couple who had come in from out-of-state for the wedding. I learned that Jasmine, Julio, and Ranger had all gone to high school together, so Ranger ended up knowing most of the people there. Four more people arrived after us, and I was introduced to them as well. One of them was a cousin of Ranger's named Eduardo.

Eduardo was surprised when Ranger introduced me as his girlfriend. He was polite but spoke to Ranger in Spanish. Ranger replied in Spanish and Eduardo laughed. They went back to English after that, telling me about their childhood and their grandmother who lived a few blocks away.

"…and that's when I told our grandmother 'As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly'," Eduardo said with a laugh. "I don't know if she believed me, but I never risked getting high anywhere near her again."

"You two sound like you were a lot of trouble in high school," I commented.

"We all were," Julio said, appearing at my side. "Though I think I was Carlos the worst."

"I wasn't the one who led the police on a high-speed chase through Coral Gables," Ranger replied.

"I never got caught, so that doesn't count," Julio said. "Some of us are better car thieves than others."

Ranger grinned. "I was fourteen when I stole a car. You were seventeen. I would have been a better car thief at that age too, if I had been willing to risk juvie again."

"The worst thing I did was sneak out to meet up with boys," I said. "I'm an innocent little lamb in this group."

"You can't be too innocent if you ended up with this fucker," Eduardo chimed in, punching his cousin in the arm.

I gasped and clutched at imaginary pearls. Ranger kissed my head and squeezed me against his side.

"She's a saint for putting up with me," he said. "She deflects the lightning strikes whenever we walk into a church together."

I gave him a light smack on the stomach. "I'm going to get another drink. Do you want anything?"

Ranger shook his head. I headed over to the drink area, ditched my beer bottle, and grabbed a water. I leaned against the railing of the deck and watched Ranger interacting with his friends. I loved watching him be relaxed. He looked so normal in that moment. I knew he had a gun in an ankle holster, but at least he felt comfortable enough to leave his other one at the apartment. There was no doubt a gun locked under the seat in his car for emergencies.

Julio walked over and grabbed another beer from the cooler. "Sorry that I threw you under the bus. I panicked when Sarah said she wanted to try to get him back. She's a little nuts, if I'm honest. Ambition has gone to her head and not in a good way."

"It's okay," I said. "We have a complicated relationship. It's not hard to weave in and out of the lines." Mostly.

"Well, it's clear you mean a lot to him. I wouldn't have heard about you otherwise," he said, taking a long drag on his beer. "And he wouldn't have brought just anyone down here."

"What was he like in high school?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.

Julio laughed. "He wasn't much different than he is today. He may have looked like a thug, but he had the fifth highest GPA in our graduating class. He couldn't help himself when it came to the schoolwork."

I could see it. I could imagine a younger Ranger, trying his best not to show his true self to the world.

"We had both been sent down here to get out of trouble," Julio continued. "I'm from Chicago and got caught up with some bad people, so my mother sent me here to live with my father. I got here a couple of months before he did. We were both new kids to the school and bonded over that."

I was about to ask more questions when Julio swore under his breath.

"What?" I asked, turning around. I saw the reason for his swearing. Sarah had showed up.

"Is that her?" I asked. Julio nodded.

"I bet Jasmine told her he'd be here," he whispered and shook his head. "She wasn't invited."

Sarah was wearing tight black pants and a sheer purple shirt that showed off a lacy black bra. She looked around and made a beeline for Ranger.

"Aren't you going to tackle her to the ground?" Julio asked with a smile.

"Nope," I said, grabbing another beer for myself. "He can take care of himself. I'm just here to give him an excuse."

Julio laughed. "That's cold. I love it."

Ranger's body language changed as soon as he saw Sarah. I saw the tightness around his mouth and his eyes swept past her to me. I blew him a kiss and smiled. I wasn't going to save him just yet. I wanted to see what he would do.

Sarah spoke with a voice loud enough to be heard where Julio and I were standing.

"Carlos, it's so wonderful to see you!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. He awkwardly patted her on the back. Her voice wasn't as loud after that, so I couldn't hear much of what she was saying. I could tell Ranger was giving short answers and attempting to be polite, but not give her any reason to believe he was flirting. Despite his obvious behavior, I felt a little twinge of jealousy. They were an extremely attractive couple. She was taller than me and was eye level with Ranger in her high-heeled boots. She looked like she could be a lingerie model.

"Wanna hear more stories about him in high school while we watch him squirm?" Julio asked. I nodded enthusiastically, glad to have a reason to look away.

I laughed as Julio regaled me with stories of him and Ranger getting high together, sneaking water bottles of vodka into government class, and tagging different places around the city. They were involved with a gang, but not in any big way. They were kids, which meant there were more eyes on them. Julio said they occasionally took drugs from one place to another, but not big amounts and thankfully they'd never been caught.

"Are you drunk?" Ranger asked, appearing at my shoulder half an hour after Sarah's arrival. "Because I know he isn't that funny."

I saw over Ranger's shoulder that Sarah had followed him, looking annoyed that his attention was off her.

"He was just telling me all about you two in high school," I said, put an arm around his waist. "About the time you both got so high at lunch you couldn't figure out how to get back in the building because you forgot how doors worked."

Ranger laughed. "I never got that high again. I think we got some bad weed."

"And how even though you were a little gangster you had the fifth-highest GPA out of your class of 2800. I've always known that under this tough exterior you were a big nerd at heart."

"Don't tell anyone else."

Julio excused himself to check on the food and Sarah walked around Ranger to stand in front of me.

"I'm Sarah Peterson," she said, extending a hand. "You must be Stephanie. Carlos has been telling me so much about you."

"It's nice to meet you," I replied. I resisted telling her that I knew nothing about her.

"To be honest, I wasn't sure you really existed," she laughed. "Julio said Carlos had a girlfriend and I thought 'yeah, right'. I wasn't sure you were real until he pointed you out."

I turned to look up at Ranger. "Have you had a lot of fake girlfriends over the years, babe?"

"I'll never tell."

I rolled my eyes. "He works a lot so I can see why people might be surprised. We had kept things pretty casual the last couple of years, but then over the summer we decided to get more serious. We started talking about the future, deciding what we want. I guess it can happen to anyone."

Sarah's eyes flicked up to Ranger's face. "I guess so. Though I would have said my dead grandmother would get into a serious relationship first before Carlos."

Julio thankfully took that moment to announce that the food was ready and every should head to the long table that had been set in the middle of the yard. Ranger made sure to get an end seat with me next to him to avoid sitting next to Sarah. She managed to snag a seat directly across from me.

"Have you been to visit Julie since you arrived?" Sarah asked. She looked in my direction to see if the name came as a surprise.

"We're going to stop in and see her on Sunday before we leave," Ranger said. "She loves Stephanie, so it'll be a surprise for her to see she's with me.

I gave Ranger's thigh a squeeze. That had taken some of the air out of Sarah.

"Wow, it must be serious if she's met Julie," Sarah said. "I never even got to meet her."

"We met for the first time in a really odd way," I told her. "She had been kidnapped by that guy pretending to be Carlos and I helped get her back. Except I got myself taken by that guy in the process as well. We bonded over being kidnapped."

Sarah looked surprised. "I remember that. I didn't know you were involved."

"I wanted to help him," I said. "I knew he hadn't taken her and helped him figure out who had."

She didn't seem to know how to respond to that.

The table was loaded down with hamburgers, chicken, steak, grilled vegetables, potatoes, and rice dishes. Everyone filled their plates and conversation turned to the upcoming wedding.

"It's weird calling you Carlos," I whispered to Ranger while others talked.

"It kind of turns me on," he whispered back.

"Everything turns you on," I reminded him.

"Not everything. But a lot of the things you do turn me on."

I felt my nipples get hard at the memory of times past. I wasn't wearing a bra, so I moved to hide them behind one of my arms in a way that didn't look obvious.

"And you aren't wearing a bra," he observed. I glared at him, and he gave me an unapologetic grin.

We relaxed with the group for the next few hours as dusk turned to night. Sarah took every chance she could to be alone with Ranger. I was surprised she didn't follow him into the bathroom. Despite a few moments of surprise, it was clear Sarah didn't see me as competition. She wanted Ranger and was determined to get him.

The party wrapped up at ten and everyone went out to their cars. I saw Sarah climb behind the wheel of a silver Mercedes and she waved to Ranger as she pulled away.

"She isn't threatened by me," I told him. "She wants you, and she's not going to stop until she gets you."

"If you hadn't grabbed that beer, I was going to tell her you were pregnant," he replied.

"It's bad enough I'm pretending to be your girlfriend. We shouldn't add fake kids into the mix. The pretend visit to Julie was probably good enough."

We didn't talk anymore as we drove back to Rangeman. Miami at night was really beautiful. I could see why people lived there. I leaned my head back and enjoyed the feel of the air on my face as we finished the trip.

After washing off my make-up and changing into a t-shirt and shorts, I walked out into Ranger's bedroom to find him drinking a glass of bourbon while sitting in his bed reading something on an iPad.

"You're drinking again? I never see you drink hard liquor."

"I'm on vacation," he said. "I get to relax a little. Do you want one?"

I shook my head. "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep."

I climbed into bed and turned off the light on the side table. Ranger finished his drink, turned off his light, and slid in close to me. I felt a hand slip under my shirt and start teasing one of my nipples.

"I'm tired," I told him.

"I'll change that," he whispered in my ear as his hand left my breast and went into my shorts.

Opportunities for guilt-free sex with Ranger didn't come along every day. I could sleep when I was dead.