Disclaimer: I dont own the OC or any of the fantabulous characters...sob
A/n: this is a fic about Oliver, who I love very much. It's a little twisted, obviously coz it's Oliver...it's set a while in the future after he gets out of the institution and comes back to find the one person who understands him...
He thought back to that day in the orange waiting room.
She was so frail, so needy. He knew then that he could twist her around his fingers and hold her tight within his mind.
But he needed her too. He was just crying out for someone who would listen, who would understand.
No hospitals.
No white; no blinding white hurting his eyes and searing pain in his brain as he thought...
What would it have been like?
To feel loved, to love.
But then there was the boyfriend. Ryan.
He didn't know her, didn't understand. He thought what she did to herself was stupid.
Yes, that word...stupid. He was so stupid.
But it wasn't stupid. It was escape. It was relief. It made it all much easier to bear.
Knowing you have power over something; yourself, pain, pleasure...
Cutting your arms isn't as stupid as some people think...
Now one month later...she was still frail, she was still needy...and he could still twist her and manipulate her...
He thought he loved her. Love to him was being there, understanding.
Love was how much you needed someone.
He thought about he all the time.
Day and night, night and day. He couldn't live without her.
He watched her, studied her.
They were meant for each other, he was sure. If she ever left him he would find her.
She could never get away.
A thud in his heart as he thought of her leaving.
It was always like this; everyone who knew him did this.
They just left.
It had to be him. He was an awful person, how could you love him?
But he couldn't let her leave him.
Not this time.
He could feel the thoughts and the feelings crawling through him like insects.
The bad thoughts, the dark place in his mind...
No, this time he wouldn't be alone. When he was alone the thoughts overtook him, he gave in to them.
The dark hour...sitting on his bed cutting, cutting. More pills. Blood everywhere. Rushing noise in his ears.
He pushed his hands to his ears.
Stop, stop.
He screamed. Stop!
Hitting his head to stop the noise, stop the thoughts. Stop!
The sound of crying brought him back, momentarily. A light spot amongst the dark.
Marissa on his bed. Tears rolling down her pretty face.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered to her, caressing her hair, her face. Tears started in his eyes too.
"I'm so sorry...but I can't do this...I can't be alone, I can't!" He screamed.
He reached over her, saw her flinch. He pulled open the draw in the bedside table.
Grabbed the silver gun. It shined, and he liked it. He could control it, and it would never go.
Resting on his knees, he heard the gun snap as he loaded the bullet.
Her eyes were so wide; so pretty.
So blue...now so red. As the blood ran down her face, and she collapsed into his waiting arms.
Where is Ryan now, my darling?
It's only me, and only you.
He brought the gun up to his head.
She would never forgive him. But without Ryan...it would be him, Oliver, in his place.
He smiled.
It was reason, it was truth.
So he squeezed the trigger.
Please review if you liked it, and review even if you didnt. But don't be mean. I don't like Marissa very much...so it kindov seems fitting to kill her off...sorry!!