Chapter 6 of Book the 12th
"Carmelita!" said Klaus. "You're in terrible danger. The ship has been invaded by enemies of Count Olaf and they're after everyone who worked with him!"
"You think I don't know that?" said Carmelita. "You two are enemies, too. You want to see me destroyed, admit it!"
"We don't," said Violet. "You're about our age. You deserve a chance to get out of this."
It was true. As hateful and horrible as Carmelita had been, Violet and Klaus didn't want to her to die.
"You've got one chance," said Klaus. "Change out of that costume and blend in with the other Snow Scouts. Then you'll be rescued along with them."
"And stop being a special adorable tap-dancing fairy princess veterinarian? I'd rather die!" said Carmelita. "I'm not giving up on Olaf and Esmé. They buy me pretty things and tell me I'm the wonderful marshmallow in the middle of their lives. They'll beat your dumb invaders, you'll see. Then you'll be sorry."
"Don't you want to see your mother and father again?" asked Violet.
"You're just like that creepy librarian at Prufrock, asking me if I was good to my mother. That makes me very angry. My mother is dead," said Carmelita.
"I'm sorry. We lost our mother, too," said Klaus.
"I'm not a cakesniffing orphan like you. My Daddy lets me have everything I want and tells me I'm the most adorable, smartest girl in the world. I am. Even if my mother went and died in a fire and left me and Daddy all alone," said Carmelita.
Klaus remembered what Jerome Squalor had said about the only time Olaf's fires had killed one member of a family.
"I know your mother's name before she married your father," said Klaus. "She was Beatrice Dante."
"That shows what you know. She was Beatrice Widdershins!" snapped Carmelita.
Klaus and Violet's mouths dropped open. Klaus recovered first.
"Right," said Klaus. "This is what happened. First she was Beatrice Dante. Then she married someone and had two children; that marriage didn't last. Then she married Captain Widdershins. Something went terribly wrong and she faked her own death in a manatee accident. Then she met your father and had you."
Carmelita's mouth dropped open, "You DO know!"
"I'll tell you something about her you don't know," said Klaus. "Your mother did a very brave thing -- she helped get back something Count Olaf and Esmé stole. They set a fire and killed her because of that. You don't want to stay with them."
"They abandoned you and hid," Violet added. "They don't really care about you."
Carmelita gasped and began sobbing into the bed. Just then, Fernald entered the room. He had a blowtorch and crowbars in his hooks.
"What have we here?" he said. "I was just coming back with tools to work on the door and I heard voices in here. I see you found little Carmelita. She should share the fate of Olaf and Esmé."
"No, Fernald, she shouldn't," said Violet.
"Why not? She deserves it for that tap-dancing alone," said Fernald.
"For one thing, she's your half sister," said Klaus. He explained what they had just found out about Beatrice Dante and her families.
(Forgive my pause for a moment for tears. Beatrice was very dear to me. To lose her to others, and then to death... the memory still overwhelms me. L.S.)
"My mother faked her death?" Fernald said. "I think I know why. I'll tell you some other time. Captain Widdershins has a lot to answer for."
"Fernald, you said Widdershins isn't your real last name. What is?" asked Violet.
"Snicket," said Fernald.
Klaus and Violet's mouths dropped open again.
"Lemony Snicket married Beatrice after all?" asked Klaus.
"No, it was Jacques," said Fernald. "I don't want to talk about that now. I got along with my real father even worse than I did with Widdershins."
"Oh," said Violet.
"All right, do what you can to rescue Carmelita," Fernald said. "I've got to get back to the others with these tools." He walked off, muttering, "Now I've got a brat for a little sister. Why me?"
Violet shook Carmelita gently by the shoulders. "Come on, Carmelita, you need to change clothes. "Klaus, go in that side room for a moment, okay?"
Klaus did, and a moment later he called, "Violet, do you know what's in here? There's a bathroom, and a sink with fresh running..."
"WATER!" cried Violet, and she rushed in. They had had nothing to drink for hours after eating all that salt, and their bodies were desperate for water. It was the best they had ever tasted.
"What about Sunny?" Violet asked after both had drunk their fill.
"I have airplane seat-cushion material in my pocket that we can use as sponges," Klaus said.
Violet took the commonplace book from Klaus and put it in her own pocket to keep dry. They filled all the sponge-like seat foam in Klaus's pocket with water to take back to Sunny.
When they emerged from the bathroom, Carmelita was dressed in her old clothes. She looked scared and a little humbled (but not much). Violet picked up a pink wing to use as a decoy.
They took Carmelita down the corridor to the room with the Snow Scouts. There was a hiss from the captives when they saw who was with them.
"Snow Scouts," said Klaus, "We're rescuing you, right? So we have a big favor to ask of you. Let Carmelita be one of you again and don't give her away."
"Booh! No, she's with Olaf! She tortured us with tap dancing and singing!" said various Snow Scouts.
Carmelita opened her mouth and Violet knew she was about to say something rude. She twisted Carmelita's arm behind her back. "Carmelita is sorry... aren't you Carmelita?"
"Oww! Yow! Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" said Carmelita.
Klaus said, "Look, we know these rescuers and you don't. They're a tough bunch. So you'd better do what we say. If anyone says Carmelita was with Olaf, we'll say you were with Olaf, too."
The Snow Scouts grumbled but agreed. They let Carmelita be chained to one of the rowing benches alongside her former captive audience.
Violet threw the pink wing into the water channel. "If anyone asks, say the girl who worked for Olaf jumped into the water to get away and you think she drowned."
As the Baudelaires moved down the corridor away from the rowing room, they heard sharp cries of pain from Carmelita.
"I think they're pinching her," said Violet.
"Well, she deserves that," said Klaus.
They rejoined the group at the door just in time. The J.S. gang had not been able to break into the secure door behind which Olaf and Esmé were hiding. Now they were welding it shut instead.
"If they want to stay in there, let them stay in there," said Justice Strauss. "Let's get everyone we want to rescue out of here."
Using the boarding clam, the Baudelaires, Bruce, Fiona, Fernald, and all the former Snow Scout prisoners (including Carmelita) were ferried back to the Interrogator and placed in a far more pleasant chamber than the Holding Cell. The villains wished to win these children over as spies, so they treated them kindly. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny looked on sadly as Bruce led the Snow Scouts in a cheer for their "heroic rescuers."
The Baudelaires were taken back to the bridge to watch the view screen.
"Now you'll see what the Interrogator can do," said Jerome proudly.
The tentacles of the Interrogator wrapped around the entire octopus submarine. With inexorable force, it squeezed the enemy vessel into a ball of metal the size of a compact car, then let it drop down to the ocean floor.
"Scrunch!" said Sunny.
"Maybe Count Olaf and Esmé got out some back way," whispered Klaus to the others. "Maybe we'll see them again someday."
But as far as I know, they never did.
"Carmelita!" said Klaus. "You're in terrible danger. The ship has been invaded by enemies of Count Olaf and they're after everyone who worked with him!"
"You think I don't know that?" said Carmelita. "You two are enemies, too. You want to see me destroyed, admit it!"
"We don't," said Violet. "You're about our age. You deserve a chance to get out of this."
It was true. As hateful and horrible as Carmelita had been, Violet and Klaus didn't want to her to die.
"You've got one chance," said Klaus. "Change out of that costume and blend in with the other Snow Scouts. Then you'll be rescued along with them."
"And stop being a special adorable tap-dancing fairy princess veterinarian? I'd rather die!" said Carmelita. "I'm not giving up on Olaf and Esmé. They buy me pretty things and tell me I'm the wonderful marshmallow in the middle of their lives. They'll beat your dumb invaders, you'll see. Then you'll be sorry."
"Don't you want to see your mother and father again?" asked Violet.
"You're just like that creepy librarian at Prufrock, asking me if I was good to my mother. That makes me very angry. My mother is dead," said Carmelita.
"I'm sorry. We lost our mother, too," said Klaus.
"I'm not a cakesniffing orphan like you. My Daddy lets me have everything I want and tells me I'm the most adorable, smartest girl in the world. I am. Even if my mother went and died in a fire and left me and Daddy all alone," said Carmelita.
Klaus remembered what Jerome Squalor had said about the only time Olaf's fires had killed one member of a family.
"I know your mother's name before she married your father," said Klaus. "She was Beatrice Dante."
"That shows what you know. She was Beatrice Widdershins!" snapped Carmelita.
Klaus and Violet's mouths dropped open. Klaus recovered first.
"Right," said Klaus. "This is what happened. First she was Beatrice Dante. Then she married someone and had two children; that marriage didn't last. Then she married Captain Widdershins. Something went terribly wrong and she faked her own death in a manatee accident. Then she met your father and had you."
Carmelita's mouth dropped open, "You DO know!"
"I'll tell you something about her you don't know," said Klaus. "Your mother did a very brave thing -- she helped get back something Count Olaf and Esmé stole. They set a fire and killed her because of that. You don't want to stay with them."
"They abandoned you and hid," Violet added. "They don't really care about you."
Carmelita gasped and began sobbing into the bed. Just then, Fernald entered the room. He had a blowtorch and crowbars in his hooks.
"What have we here?" he said. "I was just coming back with tools to work on the door and I heard voices in here. I see you found little Carmelita. She should share the fate of Olaf and Esmé."
"No, Fernald, she shouldn't," said Violet.
"Why not? She deserves it for that tap-dancing alone," said Fernald.
"For one thing, she's your half sister," said Klaus. He explained what they had just found out about Beatrice Dante and her families.
(Forgive my pause for a moment for tears. Beatrice was very dear to me. To lose her to others, and then to death... the memory still overwhelms me. L.S.)
"My mother faked her death?" Fernald said. "I think I know why. I'll tell you some other time. Captain Widdershins has a lot to answer for."
"Fernald, you said Widdershins isn't your real last name. What is?" asked Violet.
"Snicket," said Fernald.
Klaus and Violet's mouths dropped open again.
"Lemony Snicket married Beatrice after all?" asked Klaus.
"No, it was Jacques," said Fernald. "I don't want to talk about that now. I got along with my real father even worse than I did with Widdershins."
"Oh," said Violet.
"All right, do what you can to rescue Carmelita," Fernald said. "I've got to get back to the others with these tools." He walked off, muttering, "Now I've got a brat for a little sister. Why me?"
Violet shook Carmelita gently by the shoulders. "Come on, Carmelita, you need to change clothes. "Klaus, go in that side room for a moment, okay?"
Klaus did, and a moment later he called, "Violet, do you know what's in here? There's a bathroom, and a sink with fresh running..."
"WATER!" cried Violet, and she rushed in. They had had nothing to drink for hours after eating all that salt, and their bodies were desperate for water. It was the best they had ever tasted.
"What about Sunny?" Violet asked after both had drunk their fill.
"I have airplane seat-cushion material in my pocket that we can use as sponges," Klaus said.
Violet took the commonplace book from Klaus and put it in her own pocket to keep dry. They filled all the sponge-like seat foam in Klaus's pocket with water to take back to Sunny.
When they emerged from the bathroom, Carmelita was dressed in her old clothes. She looked scared and a little humbled (but not much). Violet picked up a pink wing to use as a decoy.
They took Carmelita down the corridor to the room with the Snow Scouts. There was a hiss from the captives when they saw who was with them.
"Snow Scouts," said Klaus, "We're rescuing you, right? So we have a big favor to ask of you. Let Carmelita be one of you again and don't give her away."
"Booh! No, she's with Olaf! She tortured us with tap dancing and singing!" said various Snow Scouts.
Carmelita opened her mouth and Violet knew she was about to say something rude. She twisted Carmelita's arm behind her back. "Carmelita is sorry... aren't you Carmelita?"
"Oww! Yow! Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" said Carmelita.
Klaus said, "Look, we know these rescuers and you don't. They're a tough bunch. So you'd better do what we say. If anyone says Carmelita was with Olaf, we'll say you were with Olaf, too."
The Snow Scouts grumbled but agreed. They let Carmelita be chained to one of the rowing benches alongside her former captive audience.
Violet threw the pink wing into the water channel. "If anyone asks, say the girl who worked for Olaf jumped into the water to get away and you think she drowned."
As the Baudelaires moved down the corridor away from the rowing room, they heard sharp cries of pain from Carmelita.
"I think they're pinching her," said Violet.
"Well, she deserves that," said Klaus.
They rejoined the group at the door just in time. The J.S. gang had not been able to break into the secure door behind which Olaf and Esmé were hiding. Now they were welding it shut instead.
"If they want to stay in there, let them stay in there," said Justice Strauss. "Let's get everyone we want to rescue out of here."
Using the boarding clam, the Baudelaires, Bruce, Fiona, Fernald, and all the former Snow Scout prisoners (including Carmelita) were ferried back to the Interrogator and placed in a far more pleasant chamber than the Holding Cell. The villains wished to win these children over as spies, so they treated them kindly. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny looked on sadly as Bruce led the Snow Scouts in a cheer for their "heroic rescuers."
The Baudelaires were taken back to the bridge to watch the view screen.
"Now you'll see what the Interrogator can do," said Jerome proudly.
The tentacles of the Interrogator wrapped around the entire octopus submarine. With inexorable force, it squeezed the enemy vessel into a ball of metal the size of a compact car, then let it drop down to the ocean floor.
"Scrunch!" said Sunny.
"Maybe Count Olaf and Esmé got out some back way," whispered Klaus to the others. "Maybe we'll see them again someday."
But as far as I know, they never did.