Chapter 10 of Book the 12th
There was a rumbling sound and the cracking of bricks under the pressure of the Interrogator's tentacles. The monster had crushed a metal submarine in minutes. How long before the whole hotel caved in?
"You're killing yourselves, too!" Violet shouted at Strauss and Squalor.
"Not while I hold down this remote-control button," said Strauss. She gestured with the device she held tight in her left hand.
Just then Captain Widdershins, who had been left unguarded in the melee, tackled the Justice from behind. He grabbed the control and threw it to Violet.
"Abandon ship! Aye! Women and children first! Aye! Old sea captains first too! He or she who hesitates is --"
Blam! Jerome Squalor shot him at close range.
Violet ran with the remote into the pack of Snow Scouts. "Everyone stand close to me! This control will protect everyone -- I hope." Some of the scouts believed her, but many panicked and ran. Strangely, Carmelita Spats was one of the ones who stayed.
"Give that remote back!" shouted Squalor. He and the Justice charged the group of children together, ready to shoot their way to Violet.
"Yes, give it b-AAACK!" said the Justice. That's as far as she got, because Fernald lunged in and put a hook through each of their throats!
"For Olaf," said Fernald grimly.
Fiona looked at Fernald for a moment with a horrified expression, then she suddenly gave him a hug. "You did the right thing. Aye!"
"Klaus, Sunny! Where are you!" shouted Violet.
"I'm here!" yelled Klaus from the edge of the huddle of Snow Scouts. "Sunny's over there -- oh no!"
A gigantic snake raced along the ground toward the helpless young girl... Then it lunged at her, and she embraced it!
"Bela!" said Sunny, laughing as she hugged the Incredibly Deadly Viper. The "fight fire with fire" V.F.D. had believed the snake's name and released the harmless creature into the fight.
"Sunny, come over here with us!" Violet called her. Sunny was talking to Bela in a hissing language they both seemed to understand.
"Saving Quagmires!" Sunny called to her siblings.
Sunny hung onto the snake and it towed her swiftly though the courtyard grass to where Duncan and Isadora were tied with Hector. Sunny bit through the ropes and freed all three while Bela stood guard and hissed, keeping the lions and killer robot gerbils at bay.
The man with the beard and no hair and the woman with hair and no beard summoned eagles to carry them up to the self-sustaining airborne mobile home. They had just reached it when the tentacles of the Interrogator grabbed it, crushing both it and them.
Another tentacle came directly toward the group standing with Violet and Klaus. It looped completely around them at waist level and gripped them tight.
"We're going to be crushed!" cried Klaus.
"No," said Violet, "It's being gentle, for a monster chambered nautilus anyway. I think if I keep holding down the button it's programmed to pull us to safety."
"Sunny!" yelled Klaus, "It's lifting us out of here. Hurry or you'll be left behind!"
Sunny, Duncan, Isadora, and Hector ran to the group, but the others had already been lifted off the ground by the time they got there.
"Grab onto our legs! It's the only way out," said Violet.
"Bela?" asked Sunny sadly.
"There's no way to take Bela, I'm sorry," said Klaus. "She has a good chance even if the building collapses because she can crawl between rocks."
Sunny held onto Fiona's leg, Duncan to Klaus's, Isadora to Violet's, and Hector barely hung on to the legs of Fernald.
As they were being "gently" lifted out of the building, the other tentacles of the Interrogator began squeezing much harder. Apparently it had been holding back because of the remote's command to spare them. The walls cracked and began caving in.
"What happened to Quigley?" asked Isadora. "I haven't seen him since the fighting began."
"Oh no! Quigley!" Violet cried.
From their high vantage point the group saw the walls of the Hotel Denouement collapse all at once, burying everyone still inside. The Interrogator continued to squeeze, crushing even the rubble together.
"Quiiigley!" Violet began to sob.
"It's all right," said one of the Snow Scouts, who strangely enough was wearing one of the snow-gnat masks. "Though everything would have been much better if you had just understood my message and taken that taxi."
"Quigley?" said Violet. "Quigley, you're alive!!"
"I had to get close to make sure you were okay, so I infiltrated the group of scouts. I brought another friend along." He nodded toward another masked Snow Scout beside him.
The second masked figure took off his mask, revealing a face very like Count Olaf's but with much kinder eyes.
"I'm Lemony Snicket," I said. "I had to see how the story ended. Otherwise, how could I write it?"
"What about Kit?" asked Quigley.
"I saw her go down in the early fighting," I said with tears in my eyes. "I think she wanted to die battling the enemy. She had gotten so fanatical about the cause, almost to the point of fighting fire with fire..."
The Interrogator set us down on the ground with a thump. Those who had been holding onto legs rolled out of the way.
"Wheeew!" said Sunny, which meant "I don't know how much longer I could have held on."
But the Interrogator did not let the rest of us go.
"I'm not sure how this control works," said Violet. "If I let go the button it might just start crushing us. Maybe Justice Strauss had a whistle signal for it, but I don't know what it was."
"We can't just stay like this," protested Klaus. "It feels like it's gripping tighter now. The programming effect may be short-term."
"If everyone lets out their breath at once, we'll get a tiny bit of slack," said Violet. "Then if one can slip out, it will give us a bit more. Then two or more can get free at once, then everyone."
"Let me hold the button and go last," I suggested, "Smallest to largest is the best chance."
"You're sure you'll be all right?" asked Klaus.
"Yes," I lied.
"Then everyone exhale on three," said Violet. "One, two, three!"
Everything went almost as planned. The smallest child slipped out, then more and more until everyone was free. All but one person. The tentacle retightened around me, but now both my arms were free.
"Lemony! Why didn't you slip out too?" asked Quigley.
"The monster would just have grabbed you again, so I'm keeping it occupied. I'm done for anyway. As we were sneaking over just after the battle started, I was bitten on the ankle by a venomous salamander. There's no cure."
"I'm sorry, Lemony," said Quigley.
"I have one last request," I said.
"What is it?" asked Violet.
"Bring me a pen and a lot of paper. And tell me everything that happened to you since you went with Poe. I have a book to finish!"
"I wish there was more we could do," said Klaus.
"My only regret is that I will die with my name uncleared," I said, "Count Olaf framed me for a series of arsons and I've been on the run from the police and my enemies ever since."
"I have something for you," said Violet, reaching into the corner of her pocket and taking out the OLAF salt tablet she had hidden there. "On this, Count Olaf confessed his intent to commit arson and to frame you. We'll get it to the police and clear your name."
"Thank you," I said.
And so it happens that I am completing this book while preparing to "shuffle off this mortal coil", as Shakespeare said (though in this case I am in the grip of a "mortal coil").
I'm never going to find out what happens to the Baudelaires, or the newly-orphaned Snow Scouts, or the Quagmires, or Fernald and Fiona, or Hector. But I hope that, with so many of their enemies and "friends" gone, they will have a better time of it than in this miserable series of unfortunate events I have made it my sad duty to write.
I am going to join my dear Beatrice at last. The children will carry out my complex instructions to ... this book to the publisher. Sorry .... the blots, my writing hand is ...... weak.
With all ... resp...,
Lemony Sni
There was a rumbling sound and the cracking of bricks under the pressure of the Interrogator's tentacles. The monster had crushed a metal submarine in minutes. How long before the whole hotel caved in?
"You're killing yourselves, too!" Violet shouted at Strauss and Squalor.
"Not while I hold down this remote-control button," said Strauss. She gestured with the device she held tight in her left hand.
Just then Captain Widdershins, who had been left unguarded in the melee, tackled the Justice from behind. He grabbed the control and threw it to Violet.
"Abandon ship! Aye! Women and children first! Aye! Old sea captains first too! He or she who hesitates is --"
Blam! Jerome Squalor shot him at close range.
Violet ran with the remote into the pack of Snow Scouts. "Everyone stand close to me! This control will protect everyone -- I hope." Some of the scouts believed her, but many panicked and ran. Strangely, Carmelita Spats was one of the ones who stayed.
"Give that remote back!" shouted Squalor. He and the Justice charged the group of children together, ready to shoot their way to Violet.
"Yes, give it b-AAACK!" said the Justice. That's as far as she got, because Fernald lunged in and put a hook through each of their throats!
"For Olaf," said Fernald grimly.
Fiona looked at Fernald for a moment with a horrified expression, then she suddenly gave him a hug. "You did the right thing. Aye!"
"Klaus, Sunny! Where are you!" shouted Violet.
"I'm here!" yelled Klaus from the edge of the huddle of Snow Scouts. "Sunny's over there -- oh no!"
A gigantic snake raced along the ground toward the helpless young girl... Then it lunged at her, and she embraced it!
"Bela!" said Sunny, laughing as she hugged the Incredibly Deadly Viper. The "fight fire with fire" V.F.D. had believed the snake's name and released the harmless creature into the fight.
"Sunny, come over here with us!" Violet called her. Sunny was talking to Bela in a hissing language they both seemed to understand.
"Saving Quagmires!" Sunny called to her siblings.
Sunny hung onto the snake and it towed her swiftly though the courtyard grass to where Duncan and Isadora were tied with Hector. Sunny bit through the ropes and freed all three while Bela stood guard and hissed, keeping the lions and killer robot gerbils at bay.
The man with the beard and no hair and the woman with hair and no beard summoned eagles to carry them up to the self-sustaining airborne mobile home. They had just reached it when the tentacles of the Interrogator grabbed it, crushing both it and them.
Another tentacle came directly toward the group standing with Violet and Klaus. It looped completely around them at waist level and gripped them tight.
"We're going to be crushed!" cried Klaus.
"No," said Violet, "It's being gentle, for a monster chambered nautilus anyway. I think if I keep holding down the button it's programmed to pull us to safety."
"Sunny!" yelled Klaus, "It's lifting us out of here. Hurry or you'll be left behind!"
Sunny, Duncan, Isadora, and Hector ran to the group, but the others had already been lifted off the ground by the time they got there.
"Grab onto our legs! It's the only way out," said Violet.
"Bela?" asked Sunny sadly.
"There's no way to take Bela, I'm sorry," said Klaus. "She has a good chance even if the building collapses because she can crawl between rocks."
Sunny held onto Fiona's leg, Duncan to Klaus's, Isadora to Violet's, and Hector barely hung on to the legs of Fernald.
As they were being "gently" lifted out of the building, the other tentacles of the Interrogator began squeezing much harder. Apparently it had been holding back because of the remote's command to spare them. The walls cracked and began caving in.
"What happened to Quigley?" asked Isadora. "I haven't seen him since the fighting began."
"Oh no! Quigley!" Violet cried.
From their high vantage point the group saw the walls of the Hotel Denouement collapse all at once, burying everyone still inside. The Interrogator continued to squeeze, crushing even the rubble together.
"Quiiigley!" Violet began to sob.
"It's all right," said one of the Snow Scouts, who strangely enough was wearing one of the snow-gnat masks. "Though everything would have been much better if you had just understood my message and taken that taxi."
"Quigley?" said Violet. "Quigley, you're alive!!"
"I had to get close to make sure you were okay, so I infiltrated the group of scouts. I brought another friend along." He nodded toward another masked Snow Scout beside him.
The second masked figure took off his mask, revealing a face very like Count Olaf's but with much kinder eyes.
"I'm Lemony Snicket," I said. "I had to see how the story ended. Otherwise, how could I write it?"
"What about Kit?" asked Quigley.
"I saw her go down in the early fighting," I said with tears in my eyes. "I think she wanted to die battling the enemy. She had gotten so fanatical about the cause, almost to the point of fighting fire with fire..."
The Interrogator set us down on the ground with a thump. Those who had been holding onto legs rolled out of the way.
"Wheeew!" said Sunny, which meant "I don't know how much longer I could have held on."
But the Interrogator did not let the rest of us go.
"I'm not sure how this control works," said Violet. "If I let go the button it might just start crushing us. Maybe Justice Strauss had a whistle signal for it, but I don't know what it was."
"We can't just stay like this," protested Klaus. "It feels like it's gripping tighter now. The programming effect may be short-term."
"If everyone lets out their breath at once, we'll get a tiny bit of slack," said Violet. "Then if one can slip out, it will give us a bit more. Then two or more can get free at once, then everyone."
"Let me hold the button and go last," I suggested, "Smallest to largest is the best chance."
"You're sure you'll be all right?" asked Klaus.
"Yes," I lied.
"Then everyone exhale on three," said Violet. "One, two, three!"
Everything went almost as planned. The smallest child slipped out, then more and more until everyone was free. All but one person. The tentacle retightened around me, but now both my arms were free.
"Lemony! Why didn't you slip out too?" asked Quigley.
"The monster would just have grabbed you again, so I'm keeping it occupied. I'm done for anyway. As we were sneaking over just after the battle started, I was bitten on the ankle by a venomous salamander. There's no cure."
"I'm sorry, Lemony," said Quigley.
"I have one last request," I said.
"What is it?" asked Violet.
"Bring me a pen and a lot of paper. And tell me everything that happened to you since you went with Poe. I have a book to finish!"
"I wish there was more we could do," said Klaus.
"My only regret is that I will die with my name uncleared," I said, "Count Olaf framed me for a series of arsons and I've been on the run from the police and my enemies ever since."
"I have something for you," said Violet, reaching into the corner of her pocket and taking out the OLAF salt tablet she had hidden there. "On this, Count Olaf confessed his intent to commit arson and to frame you. We'll get it to the police and clear your name."
"Thank you," I said.
And so it happens that I am completing this book while preparing to "shuffle off this mortal coil", as Shakespeare said (though in this case I am in the grip of a "mortal coil").
I'm never going to find out what happens to the Baudelaires, or the newly-orphaned Snow Scouts, or the Quagmires, or Fernald and Fiona, or Hector. But I hope that, with so many of their enemies and "friends" gone, they will have a better time of it than in this miserable series of unfortunate events I have made it my sad duty to write.
I am going to join my dear Beatrice at last. The children will carry out my complex instructions to ... this book to the publisher. Sorry .... the blots, my writing hand is ...... weak.
With all ... resp...,
Lemony Sni