Consequences
Part Four
Dinner was not with Laira and the Colonel.
Sam was intensely relieved.
In the two years since the return of the Edorans, the society had more or less polarized between those who had been caught off-world during the meteor shower, and those who had been left on-world. The off-worlders, having seen a different level of lifestyle and the assistance rendered to them by the SGC, had adopted new methods and low-level machines to make their lives a little easier. The on-worlders, having struggled through summer only to have their friends and family abruptly returned to them with tales of better things, were resentful of the 'easy life' the others had lived while they slaved away to produce enough food to survive the winter.
"It is not as bad as it was just after we returned," Piera explained to Sam as she placed the dishes on the table. "Some things have made it easier to deal with those who endured the Fire-Rain. The marriage of Garan and Naytha helped to ease some of the breach. The others more readily accept Naytha's parents and their friends now. And the children do not care either way." She glanced fondly at Tam and his friends, who sat at the table, swinging their legs. "Altan, would you give thanks for our meal?"
Piera's husband nodded and the gathered people – a dozen of Altan and Piera's friends and their children – bowed their heads. Sam copied them and listened to Altan's short 'grace'. "Ancestors, we thank you for the lives we live today, and the bounty of this planet that gives us this meal. Continue to watch over us and our people and be it so always."
As they ate, the conversation was a mix of all kinds of bits and pieces; gossip from the village, news about the harvest, and the busy chatter of the children. Sam kept one ear open to the general conversation, even as she was speaking with Altan and Piera about the changes wrought on Edora since the meteor shower.
"Your friend had a big impact on Paynan," Altan said cheerfully. "Time was when it was all you could do to even suggest a new way of doing something. Now he listens, and sometimes he'll even use it himself!"
"Well, Jack certainly had a big impact on Laira," another woman commented dryly. "She was eager enough to offer him refuge in her house."
"And a refuge in her bed," a man added, spitefully. Someone shushed him, glancing anxiously at Sam.
Mentally grimacing, Sam continued to eat. It was fairly obvious that the Colonel's time here with Laira was common gossip among the Edoran's – witness Tam's reference to Colonel O'Neill as 'Laira's man'.
Catching Sam's glance, the woman who had spoken explained the context of her words. "I was one of those who remained behind during the Fire Rain. Your friend worked very hard alongside us to help us provide the food."
"It was his skin as much as yours, Diralle," someone pointed out, dour and distasteful.
"He did not belong among us," Diralle replied stoutly. "That was as plain as the nose on your face. Poor man. He returned from the valley where the Stone Circle had been in great distress."
Sam was rapidly losing her appetite given the way the conversation was going. Earlier that day, she'd had no desire to hear about the Colonel's time on Edora; that resolution remained. However, she was caught. As a guest in this house, she had no control over the direction of the talk.
"The Stargate had been his life for many years," Piera stated. "He had lost his life, his friends, and his world in one day. Those of us who were taken to Earth and from there to the other planet had each other and the knowledge that Sam..." she indicated her guest with a smile, "...was working on a solution. Colonel O'Neill had no such assurance. Little wonder he was distressed." She turned to Sam. "You have travelled through the Stargate many times, have you not, Sam?"
"Yes. Our superiors send us through the Stargate to discover other worlds and civilisations to assist in a war we are fighting."
"Against the Goa'uld?"
"Yes."
"The war continues?"
She nodded, a little wearily, thinking of the endless fight against the parasites that hungered for dominion of the galaxy. As of today, there was one less soldier who would fight that war – a good man, and a tired one. He'd earned his retirement, even if the battle would be harder without his presence.
Nevertheless, Sam kept her thoughts to herself, and told them what she could about the Goa'uld as they finished their dinner.
In a little while, the children appeared around her and demanded another story. The parents objected, but the children insisted, and Sam was happy to oblige.
So she told a tale of two sets of people living in one city. The city-dwellers lived above ground in a beautiful city, while the workers lived under the city and slaved away to make the city beautiful, while being unaware of its existence. Among the workers were four people who had this feeling there was more – this sense that there was something that drew them all together. With the help of a woman who knew of both the city above and the slaves below, they pieced together the puzzle and led a revolt against the man who administrated both city and slave-city. In the end, the slaves were freed, and given their own land where they could live in the sunlight beneath an open sky. The four people went back to their own land and lived happily ever after.
As she finished, Sam reflected on the liberties she'd taken with the story; but then, this was a story for the children. The actual reality wasn't nearly so nicely finished-off.
"I like that story," Tam declared, cuddled up against Sam. "Tell us another one!" Instantly a clamour arose from the other children.
"No more stories," Altan told him firmly. "I think it is time for you to be in bed, my son."
Children groaned as parents began collecting them and leaving. Sam kissed soft cheeks, and had several rather damp smudges on her cheek by the end of the farewells. Tam protested vocally and insisted on several kisses and hugs from Sam before he allowed his father to put him to bed.
With the people gone from the house, Sam finally let the strain of the day descend upon her. She felt drained and exhausted. Numb and grey, as she had in the days after the last return from Edora. Daniel, Teal'c, Janet, and Cassie had gotten her through that period, as well as the subsequent time when the Colonel had been working undercover to expose Maybourne and Makepeace.
Piera began to clean up the pottery dishes, refusing Sam's help. "You are a guest. It would not be right." She dipped the plates in heated water, using a brush of reeds to clean the food that stuck to the plate's rough surface. "So did Jonah, Tor, Carlin, and Thera indeed live happily ever after, Sam?" Her question indicated that she saw more in the story than just a tale for the children.
"Life is not a story, Piera," Sam replied. "It goes on, and things change. People come and people go."
"And your friend has chosen to go, has he not?"
"He hasn't told us yet, but he'll probably be staying here."
"Ah, well." Sympathy touched Piera's voice, "It is good of him to decide to stay with Laira. She has been lonely for many seasons since Garan's father died."
Sam grimaced. "Under the circumstances, Piera, I think there is a little less altruism in the Colonel's motives than...than keeping a lonely woman company." How did she manage to get back on this topic again?
Piera turned from the sink, frowning in bewilderment as her hand dripped water to the floor. "I do not understand what you mean, Sam."
"Well, his daughter..." Sam trailed off at the expression on the Edoran woman's face. "What is it?"
"Mia is not your friend's daughter, Sam."
The words didn't penetrate her brain at first, and once they did, a million questions poured out, swimming in a million emotions. Shock, relief, joy, and sudden horror prompted her stunned request for confirmation. Her voice was wooden and her words were slow, like wading through treacle or molasses. "Mia is not...?"
"Mia is the daughter of Milar – do you remember Milar from that day you visited?" Sam did. "Milar died in childbirth after we returned – Mia was conceived while we were away from Edora. When she died, Laira took over care of the child – and, I think, Milar's husband. I do not know if there was anything more between them, but Milar's husband never recovered from the loss and died less than a season later." The dark eyes stared at Sam in the candlelight. "You did not know this?"
"No," Sam said weakly. "We thought... It was assumed..." Get a grip on yourself, Sam! "The Colonel believes Mia to be his daughter and Laira's."
"Then Laira has lied to him," Piera said, her voice clear and low and her expression regretful. "Or she has let him believe what is not true."
"She said Mia was her daughter," Sam recalled, trying to think of a moment when Laira had explicitly stated that Mia was the Colonel's daughter. There had been no such moment to the other members of SG-1, but the assumption of Mia's paternity had been obvious to them, and doubtless the Colonel had confirmed it the moment he and Laira had a moment's peace.
"Sam, Mia is her daughter; Laira formally adopted her before the village elders. In all respects, save that of birth, Laira is Mia's mother." Turning back to her work, Piera sighed, "It must be that she referred to Mia as her daughter, and the age was right for your friend to assume she was his."
"And she didn't correct him," Sam murmured. She recalled Daniel's comment earlier that afternoon, If Mia really was Jack's daughter, Laira would have let him know long before this.
Still, she was puzzled. "Someone would have mentioned it sooner or later. The Colonel would have found out then..."
"Perhaps by then Laira planned to truly be carrying his child," Piera suggested, dryly. "Although surely she could see that a man like your friend would be furious at such a deception." Drying her hands on a towel, she sat down opposite Sam at the table. "You must understand, Sam; Laira is not a conniving woman – merely an uncertain one. She is a rare and thoughtful leader to our people, and always has been. But her strength as a leader has been grounded by the men in her life: her father, her husband, her son, and your friend." A faintly mischievous smile crossed her face. "And your friend is certainly the kind of man who would inspire covetousness in a woman!"
In spite of herself, Sam's mouth pulled up at one corner in a self-mocking smile. Yes, she understood the attraction of Jack O'Neill. Only too well.
"So will you tell him the truth?" Piera asked softly.
"I...don't know." There was more at stake here than mere truth and lies, and she wanted to be able to think it through.
One rough-palmed hand patted her arm. "You will make the right decision, Sam. I am sure of it."
The confidence the Edoran put in her assessment and evaluation abilities was both comforting and terrifying. "Thanks for the pep talk," Sam told her friend wryly.
"'Pep talk'?" Piera laughed at the term. "What is a 'pep talk'?"
Sam explained the concept of sport and coaching and 'pep talks', and in a little while Altan joined them and listened. The Edorans were amazed at the things the people of Earth did for entertainment, and Sam invited them to come to Earth during Edora's winter and attend a football game – if the General could authorise it. They agreed, laughing at the idea of going to Earth for a visit: "...like going down the causeway to visit Paynan," Altan said, his rich voice amused.
The conversation began to be punctuated by yawns from all three, and at length they decided to retire for the night.
As they prepared to sleep, Altan offered Sam their bed. She refused.
"The floor will be fine," she told them firmly. "I've slept on worse." They protested, but she over-rode their protests and insisted they keep their bed.
The wooden floor was no less comfortable than some of the planets SG-1 had travelled to; but Sam couldn't sleep. Her mind kept flitting back to the Colonel's situation with Laira and the child who was both the cause for the situation and its possible resolution.
Tired, but unable to sleep, she sat up. She put on her boots as silently as possible and walked out into the deep blue night.
The lights were out in most of the houses, including Laira's, and as Sam walked past it, Piera's words echoed in her head. Perhaps by then Laira planned to be truly carrying his child... Was the Colonel sharing the Edoran woman's bed even now? The thought spurred her into a desperate sprint down the causeway.
She ran past the houses, through the fields, and out onto the pier that jutted into the dark, still waters of the lake. At the end of the pier, she sat down, wrapping her arms around one of the posts for support as she gasped for her breath. The run hadn't been hard, but what she was running from...
What she was running from she'd eventually have to turn and face. If not today, then another day. Sam knew that. She just didn't want to face it now. Not now.
Finally managing to calm herself and clear her mind, she contemplated the evening's revelation.
Mia is not your friend's daughter, Sam.
Give Laira the benefit of the doubt, at least. She had probably intended to bring up Mia as her own, perhaps indulge in the fantasy that Mia was the Colonel's daughter. Then SG-12 spotted her and the child, did some mental calculations, and called the Colonel to Edora to let him know the woman from whom he had taken comfort during his confinement on the planet had a child who was of the correct age and colouring to be his. And Laira, faced with the prospect of having that which she previously thought she could never touch, had let them believe the lie.
To tell, or not to tell; that was the question.
It should have been simple to answer.
Uncertainty gnawed at her and she sighed. This afternoon, sitting in the grass with Mia, it had seemed so easy. Her CO had a child he would never abandon and for whom he would resign his commission and retire. Emotionally, it wasn't an easy thing to accept, for her or Daniel, because it brought up old wounds that they hadn't dealt with, only covered over. Whatever else, Sam knew the choice the Colonel would make would be the right one by his daughter. They would struggle on without him and he would bring up Mia as he'd longed to do.
That was this afternoon.
After tonight...
Yes, Sam could tell the Colonel that Laira had deceived him; tell him Mia, cute as a button, was not the second chance he had yearned after for so many years – but what would that do to him? He'd lost one child – was she to be the means by which he lost another? Or at least the messenger?
He'd discover it eventually, she knew. It was just a matter of time before the truth was revealed; but while the news of Mia had been uncomfortable for her CO, Sam had also seen the tiredness in his eyes – a tiredness she'd witnessed many times in the last few months. The fight with the Goa'uld seemed endless, and five years was a long time to fight a war that sometimes seemed so hopeless. This was his chance to retire with a reason people couldn't fault – although the day the Colonel seriously began caring what people said about him would be a strange day indeed.
Laira and Mia could give him what he had lost over six years ago: a family. Not a family to take the place of Sara and Charlie, but to return to him the sense of belonging, of being part of a family unit. His team was an approximation for his need to belong – his need for refuge – but at the end of the day, the Colonel still went home to his empty house and slept in a bed without someone beside him.
The Colonel, with the pain of age and brutal experience, needed that kind of refuge, as the others of his team did not. Someone who could heal the scars in him and shelter him from the storms that still cropped up in his life. There had been nobody there for him in that way for nearly six years and although he could survive without such support, drawing on the strength and closeness of his team, Sam knew he would be the better for having it.
Wasn't this situation an answer to his need even if it was based on a lie?
It was a conundrum with no simple solution.
Between the truth and his happiness, there was no simple solution.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. She didn't know where it came from, but she didn't feel very free now. She felt shackled – caught between two choices and uncertain of, which way to turn.
Shifting a little, the rough wood of the pylon scraped at her cheek. Trying to find a comfortable position, Sam laid on her back on the coarse planking and stared up at the sky, an endless velvet darkness spattered by tiny glowing stars.
Those stars blurred above her and she closed her eyes.
What should she do?
She had no idea.
It haunted her.
Suddenly, there were voices talking over her head. Familiar voices holding a discussion in normal tones.
With her eyes still shut, she frowned. This was a strange dream.
"...out here all night?"
"At least long enough to fall asleep."
"O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, I believe that your voices have awakened her."
Cautiously, she opened one eye and saw blue sky overhead, with three darker-outlined figures in standing over her in the sunlight, the dirt-encrusted toes of their boots surrounding her head on all sides.
"Ah, the sleeping beauty awakens! Carter, you were supposed to wait for Daniel to kiss ya..."
Daniel glanced at the Colonel with exasperation.
"Major Carter, would it not have been more comfortable inside?"
"Maybe she had a fight with the Edorans," the Colonel offered.
Sam blinked, trying to make sense of the situation. She'd fallen asleep on the pier? Night had turned to day in what seemed like no time at all and her consciousness tried to make up the lack.
"Jack, I don't think she's quite awake yet."
A booted toe gently nudged her shoulder, "Maybe if we roll her into the lake..."
"I'd prefer that you didn't, sir," she sighed, rubbing at her eyes. She'd fallen asleep without coming to a decision about what to tell the Colonel. She frowned as she tilted her head to observe Daniel and Teal'c. "You guys are back early."
"Yeah," Daniel glanced at Jack. "Well, we've got quite a bit to discuss...and we thought it should be sorted out as soon as possible. General Hammond's given us until lunch to report back."
"Basically, we need to talk," the Colonel said quietly.
And that was that.
End of Part Four