Professor R

by Gerbil Goddess

Snape quits, and a new character (modeled after my science teacher) takes over. What will the students think? This is short and you might not like it, but Idid warn you, so you have no right to flame.

Summary: I hate my science teacher, so I decided to put her in a Harry Potter setting and do mean things to her. Um....yeah. It's kind of violent.

Disclaimer: The only thing that's mine is my science teacher, but I wish she wasn't, either.

"Alright class, sit! You should all be preparing your ingredients for today's potion, the Incredibly Painful Boils potion. Get to work!"

The class prepared ingredients tirelessly, while Professor R. loomed over them, occasionally shouting critical remarks. "That mushroom stalk is cut too short! Start over!"

"But I—"

"No interrupting, Ms Granger, that's 50 points from Gryffindor. Keep working!"

Soon they were done with the ingredients, and they moved on to the potion making, with the evil professor breathing down their necks. "Work faster, you'll never be done in time for lunch. And I still have to assign Homework! Longbottom, your potion's aquamarine, not cyan. Start over!"

"Professor, I wa—"

"50 more points off!!! Back to work!"

By the time everyone was done, it was time for lunch, so the class got up to leave.

"What do you think you are doing? Get back here, I still haven't assigned homework!" Everyone sunk back into his or her seat, stomachs growling noisily. "You have to write 10 sheets of parchment on the importance of cutting mushroom stalks the right length, and find the Latin translation of every ingredient in every potion you've ever made, and then you—"

"I've had enough! Flipendo!" Hermione's spell hit the vials of Incredibly Painful Boils potion behind the teacher's desk, and they erupted, spewing cyan pus all over the professor.

"Ugh! 400 points fr- Ow!" Huge, ugly boils sprung up all over her and she screamed in pain. The students all cheered, drowning out the screams, and they ran over and kicked her as hard as they could and cast Crucio on her again and again until she was dead. The End.

Like it? I do. MUAHAHAHAHAHA, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, ha, ha... I mean, I'm normal. Again, flames are stupid and pointless and I will disregard them completely. Reviews with insight or compliments are VERY VERY GOOD.