Epilog: (kinda)
Speedy hoped Robin didn't have a warm, cordial relationship with any of these cops. He hoped none of these flat-foots, which he'd never seen before, were wondering why the Boy Wonder was suddenly ignoring them, or, possibly, why he was being so chatty. He'd been told that Robin was sort of the spokesman for the group. When there was talking with officials to be done, he was the one to do it, but Speedy didn't know if Robin was a cagey spokesman, letting only the most necessary bits of information out, or a verbose spokesman, who eagerly shared more than requested of him.
"Holy Margarita," One of the cops, a detective, if his sloppy suite was any indication, said, looking ant the two securely bound prisoners lying on the floor. "Is that who I think it is?"
"Only if you think it's Gotham's nefarious Penguin," Speedy answered. He wondered if he should make a pun. Would it be obvious he was trying too hard? The word foul had a lot of possibilities, but then, it was so obvious, and the only way Robin got away his overuse of puns was that most of them were so subtle no one noticed.
"I'm detective Mayar," the man in the sloppy suit said, holding out his hand for Robin to shake. Speedy breathed a sigh of relief, apparently, this man didn't know Robin, and he wouldn't notice any minor discrepancies, such as a lack of puns. "What happened, Starfire said something about a kidnapping."
"Extortion and blackmail," Speedy corrected. "This guy is Emil Cook. He got it in his head that Dick Grayson was me. He said, if I didn't play him a million dollars, he'd expose that identity to Gotham's underworld."
"I'm guessing you didn't pay," Mayar said.
"Actually, I did," Speedy said, walking over to the yellow backpack. He picked it up, unzipping it as he carried it to Mayar. "One million in unmarked bills."
Mayar whistled.
"Don't get too excited, detective," Raven's dry voice said from the doorway. "Those bills are counterfeit."
"Counterfeit?" Mayar asked, turning to her. "Where did you get . . . ?"
"It was confiscated by Batman in Gotham," Speedy explained. "He kindly let Grayson use it."
"Yeah, Grayson, was he the kidnapped party?"
"Yes," a new voice said. Speedy turned around and smiled. Dick Grayson, the real Robin, was coming down the stairs. He looked much the worse for wear, his skin had a grayish tint to it, and his legs didn't quite look sturdy underneath him. His breathing wasn't really labored, but neither was it quite natural; it almost seemed as if every breath hurt him, but he was determined not to alter his breathing pattern.
"I'm guessing you're Grayson," Mayar said, turning to Dick.
"Yeah," Dick said, smiling feebly as he rubbed the back of his head. For a second, Speedy was struck by how boyish Dick looked, not brave or noble or strong, but just like a kid out of place.
"NO!" Cook yelled. The officers had untied the two criminals, cuffed them, read them their rights, and were now leading them out of the garage towards the paddy wagon. "Dick Grayson is Robin! I have proof!"
"Stop your squawking," the Penguin grumbled. "You're bird-brained delusions have already found us caged."
"Excuse me," Dick said to Mayar as he walked toward Cook and the Penguin. Speedy followed, trying not to smirk too much at Cook's flabbergasted expression.
"I'm not Robin," Dick said coolly, looking Cook right in the eyes.
"No," Speedy said, shaking his head. "He's definitely not."
"But, but the picture!" Cook gasped.
"Don't believe everything you see," Dick said seriously. "This time, you missed the target."
"You shouldn't have threatened us, Cook," Speedy said, shaking his head. A pun suddenly popped into his head, it wasn't as good as Dick's had been, not as subtle or full of meaning, but still, he couldn't help but smile as he said; "Now you're fried."
"Wait, wait, wait," Mayar said, stepping up the trio. "This whole thing is very confusing, can someone please give me a straight story."
Speedy hesitated, he was the superhero, he was the one used to dealing with criminals and police commissioners, he was, by all rights, the one who should have told the story. But, unfortunately, he didn't know it. Sure, Dick had given him a very detailed account of everything, but Speedy knew the cop would ask about something Robin had glazed over, some tiny detail that wasn't really important, except for the fact that it would distinguish one who was really there form one who had only heard a description.
But before Speedy could worry too much about it, Dick step forward and answered. "It's all about this piece of paper," he said, pulling the print-out of the doctored pictures from one of the many pockets of his cargo pants and handing it to Mayar. "Cook took the pictures and made the composite. He jumped to a speedy conclusion."
"Jeepers," Mayer said, looking from Speedy to Dick. "You guys could be brothers."
"I could have just turned Cook in for blackmail," Speedy said, feeling he had to add something. "But for Grayson's protection, I needed to make it very clear, publicly, that we were not the same person, so I conscripted him into our plan."
"Did you two know each other before this?" Mayar asked. His tone of voice made it clear he was asking out of personal, not professional, curiosity.
"We ran into each other in Gotham," Dick said, once again sparing Speedy from having to guess at what the correct answer would be. "I owe Robin a lot," Dick continued. "He found my parents' murderer."
"It's what I do," Speedy said, sounding casual. He wondered if Dick felt as odd and out of place in this situation as he did.
"Yeah, well, I'm sure Mr. Grayson here isn't the only one who's grateful to you kids," Mayar said. "Don't know where this city would be without you."
"I quiver to think," Dick said, smiling ironically. Speedy smiled too; not just at the pun, but if anyone in the city would know how close and how often it was on the brink of distraction, it would be Dick.
"Do you need any more information on this case, Detective?" Speedy asked. He hoped he wasn't being suspiciously rude, but then, Batman and Robin didn't have the reputation of being charmers.
"Nah, nah," Mayar said, waving his hand dismissively. "I'm sure you've got important stuff to do, and it sounds like Grayson has all the evidence we'll need."
"He does," Speedy said, turning to Dick. Their eyes met and both boys smiled. "Good luck," Speedy said, sticking his hands out.
Dick grabbed it and shook it warmly. "Thanks," he said, catching everything in that simple phrase: thanks for coming to San Francisco, thanks for finding me when I got lost, thanks for playing the part, thanks for saving my life.
"My pleasure," Speedy said. "I'm sure our paths will cross again."
"I sure hope so," Dick answered.
"Ok, Titans," Speedy said, yelling at his teammates, "time to go."
The Titans followed him out of the now-opened garage door. Speedy noticed that Cyborg and Raven didn't bat an eye at the command, and didn't stop for one last look at Dick Grayson. Beast Boy didn't hesitate to leave, but he couldn't help but stare at Grayson before he went, as if to assure himself that the boy really was Robin, and that Robin really was all right. Starfire was the last to leave. She paused as she passed Dick and Detective Mayar. She looked at her friend longingly, as if she had many things she wanted to say, and yet, couldn't find a single word.
"Star," Speedy said. "We're leaving."
"I am glad you are unharmed, Richard Grayson," Starfire said. She was cramming a well of emotion into that simple phrase, and it sounded as if she would have gotten more in there, if she'd known how to.
"Thank you Starfire," Dick responded. "I'm so glad you came to save me."
"I was not the one to do the saving," Starfire said.
Dick smiled at her, "If that's the case, then maybe I'm just glad you came."
"Star!" Speedy said.
"Good bye, Richard Grayson," Star said, turning around quickly before her emotions could burst out again.
Speedy nodded one last time at Dick and the detective, before turning and exiting into the dark night, where the rest of the Titans waited.
"I don't know about you guys," Speedy said, "But that was a great night of do-gooding."
"With the exception of that period of time where we lost the person we were supposed to be protecting and he nearly died," Raven said dryly.
"Everything turned out all right in the end," Beast Boy pointed out. "How about some celebratory pizza with our newest Robin?"
"I could go for some pizza," Cyborg said. "With pepperoni and sausage."
"Meat, you've got to be kidding me!" Beast Boy said.
As the argument continued, Speedy leaned over to Raven. "Are they always like this?"
"Always," she answered.
"We usually just get the gooey four-cheese," Starfire told him. "It tastes very good with mustard."
Speedy tried, unsuccessfully, not to make a face at the thought of mustard cheese pizza.
"She doesn't put it on the pizza," Raven assured him.
"On the crust?"
"She drinks it."
Again, he had to struggle not to make a face.
"You would probably like to stop being Robin soon, would you not?" Starfire asked. "Perhaps it would be pleasant to be yourself."
"Yeah," Speedy said. "It'd be nice to get this wig off, and this mask. How can he stand wearing something so big?"
"It has never occurred to me to ask him," Starfire confessed. "Come to think of it, there are a great many things I never have thought to ask him."
"You'll have a chance when he gets back," Speedy told her.
"Yes," Starfire said, nodding with assurance. "I will."
END (kinda)
Note: Ok, the reviews made it pretty clear that some of you didn't catch on to what would happen next (all my fault, I get so into the Batman Mythos that I sometimes forget that not everyone knows their Arthur Browns from the Edward Nigmas) so they'll probably be another epilog (an epi-epilog, a post-epilog, perhaps?). But, I warn you in advance, it's gonna be all romantic.