Chapter Five: Confessions
Michael heard Lily coming down the stairs. He listen closely as she moved from the kitchen, to the bathroom, and then he heard the fait squeak of her bed as she plopped down upon it. He breathed a sigh of relief at her being home. He had been a touch worried about the way she had left, and with her harboring Selene and him he was always worried the vampires might somehow find them. He'd taken a liking to the girl, and didn't want anything bad to happen to her. He had fully agreed with Selene's decision to leave tomorrow night, but he hadn't cared for the manor in which she had delivered the message, and he had let her know that when she was out of the shower. It had been their first argument. He half expected her to draw a gun on him and demand that he "back off", but instead she merely went to bed. She didn't even protest when he came inside the room and sat on the chair in the corner to keep his daily vigil.
He took a stabilizing breath as he watched her sleep. He felt the familiar dull ache of longing as he stared at her form in the dark. He watched the rise and fall of her stomach as she breathed, the tendrils of hair that criss-crossed over her face, and the soft moan she would emit occasionally. He wasn't sure if she knew that she did that. He could always tell when she was dreaming. Small noises would escape from her throat and parts of her would twitch. In those moments he always wished to reach out and calm them, to halt the storm raging in her mind. She never looked peaceful when she slept. He doubted she ever felt peaceful.
"Michael." Selene's quiet voice emanated from beneath the sheets.
"Yes?" His thoughts had ceased and he was looking intently at her now.
Selene rolled over so she could look at him. She was having second thoughts but... "Come here." She held out her hand.
Doing as he was told he stood and walked over to her, taking her hand and sitting on the bed. "What's wrong?" He asked while reaching up to remove those tendrils he had been admiring earlier.
She scooted over and motioned for him to lie down beside her. As he did so she laid her head in the crook of his arm and closed her eyes. She could feel the small patterns he traced upon her arm and would have loved nothing more than to fall asleep trying to guess what they were, but she had something to tell him. "That necklace that Lily has?" She waited.
"Yes?"
She took a breath. "I gave it to her. It was mine. That was me who took her from the lycans. I was the one who killed her brother." She had expected to feel lighter after the confession, but upon hearing the words spoken out loud she only felt their weight more intensely.
"What?" Michael was definitely confused. "I don't understand how could...?"
Now Selene sat up in the bed. She didn't want to be held anymore. "I'd been stalking this pair of lycans. It was typical reconnaissance work. My team and I hadn't attacked them yet in lew of hoping to follow them back to their layer. We knew they were merely out to feed, we figured we'd follow them and eventually they would lead us right back to their clan." She hung her head now, remembering was difficult. "They got away from us at one point and when I caught up with them they were in that alley. I saw her brother, God." She paused a moment to collect her memories. The images were hard to swallow. "He moved at exactly the wrong moment. I fired at the lycan and he stepped right into the bullet's path. Six of them, I'd counted, went through him and into that lycan."
"Selene." Michael sat up beside her and began to rub her back. She moved away from his hand and he let it drop.
She wouldn't look at him. She couldn't. "I saw the little girl. She was kneeling beside him, trying to wake him. I was not going to watch another person be butchered like my family. I just...I jumped down and snatched her from the second lycan. I held her close and shot behind me. I killed him, but the other one had gotten back up and was about to attack. I don't know what came over me. I was enraged. I pulled the girl close to me and bared my teeth at him in warning. I was out of bullets. If he had wanted to he could have killed us, easily. I knew it, he knew it, but he did nothing. He backed down and ran back into the darkness. I never understood why."
Selene lifted her head and tried to swallow the growing lump in her throat. "Anyway, after he was gone I put the girl in my car. She had passed out, or fallen asleep I'm not sure. I didn't blame her, and in fact I was glad for it. I hadn't wanted her to see me. I drove to this cliff that I used to go to sometimes to think. I was going to kill her, I should have. The rules of the coven demanded that I do so, but she reminded me so much of my nieces. She was so young, so innocent."
The memory flashed before Selene's eyes. //She was in her car; the girl was strapped carefully into the passenger seat. As she drove she kept looking at her, wondering what in the hell she was going to do with her. "I could turn her." She wondered briefly, but then decided against it. The girl was a mere 8 years old, perhaps younger. To be stuck at that age for eternity, well even Selene found that to be disturbing. As she reached the cliffs she got out and stared at the moon. She could still hear their screams. Those never ending echoes haunted her every breath. She remembered her family, remembered her life as a human, and remembered the night that it all had been erased. She stared hard at the girl and decided she would not let this happen again. She would not condemn a young child to the revenge filled life that her own had become.
When she reached the orphanage on the outskirts of downtown she wrapped the girl in her black leather coat for warmth and propped her against the door. She kept her eyes on the girl as she reached to ring the bell when a thought crossed her mind. Knelling beside her Selene reached around her neck and undid the clasp of the necklace she had worn. She placed it around the girl's neck and ever so gently kissed her forehead.
"May it protect you and keep you safe in darkest times little one."
She rang the door bell and left.//
"You gave her a necklace Viktor had given you?"
"Yes." Selene's mind was still reeling from her memory. She hadn't thought of the girl after that. It was as if her mind had erased the entire evening. She'd had a replacement pendent made in secret later that day while the other vampires slept. Viktor would never know the difference, and in time, after he had been laid to rest, she just stopped wearing it all together. "The necklace was to identify me as one of Viktor's own. It's his markings on the rings to the side and it would have granted me safe passage into any vampire coven. He gave it to me the first night I went hunting as a death dealer."
Michael was looking at her in awe. "And you would give such a precious gift to a human you didn't even know?"
Selene didn't answer. What was there to say?
"I thought you told Lily that all vampires of the coven had them?"
"I did. I didn't want her to know that I was the only one. That would have given me away." Now Selene looked directly at him. "I don't want her to know Michael. You can't tell her." Her tone was stern.
Michael studied her eyes for a moment. This new revelation had given him more insight into the woman he loved and at the moment his heart was overflowing, but he could see the fear in her eyes. "I won't Selene I promise, but I don't understand why you feel that way."
"I killed her brother. I may have saved her in the process, but it was my bullets, my gun that dropped him to the ground."
"She won't hold it against you."
"I don't care. She doesn't need to know."
"It wasn't your fault!"
"It doesn't matter!" She was nearly yelling at him.
"Alright, alright." He sighed. He wasn't going to argue. She clearly felt strongly about this and he would leave it at that. "I'm glad you told me." He tried to look her in the eyes, but she had turned away from him again.
She lay her head back down on the pillow, as did he, and when he heard the faint stirrings of sounds coming from her and the slight twitch of her hands he merely reached out and placed his hand upon hers. She became quiet, and a small sigh escaped her lips. He knew she would sleep better then.
Michael heard Lily coming down the stairs. He listen closely as she moved from the kitchen, to the bathroom, and then he heard the fait squeak of her bed as she plopped down upon it. He breathed a sigh of relief at her being home. He had been a touch worried about the way she had left, and with her harboring Selene and him he was always worried the vampires might somehow find them. He'd taken a liking to the girl, and didn't want anything bad to happen to her. He had fully agreed with Selene's decision to leave tomorrow night, but he hadn't cared for the manor in which she had delivered the message, and he had let her know that when she was out of the shower. It had been their first argument. He half expected her to draw a gun on him and demand that he "back off", but instead she merely went to bed. She didn't even protest when he came inside the room and sat on the chair in the corner to keep his daily vigil.
He took a stabilizing breath as he watched her sleep. He felt the familiar dull ache of longing as he stared at her form in the dark. He watched the rise and fall of her stomach as she breathed, the tendrils of hair that criss-crossed over her face, and the soft moan she would emit occasionally. He wasn't sure if she knew that she did that. He could always tell when she was dreaming. Small noises would escape from her throat and parts of her would twitch. In those moments he always wished to reach out and calm them, to halt the storm raging in her mind. She never looked peaceful when she slept. He doubted she ever felt peaceful.
"Michael." Selene's quiet voice emanated from beneath the sheets.
"Yes?" His thoughts had ceased and he was looking intently at her now.
Selene rolled over so she could look at him. She was having second thoughts but... "Come here." She held out her hand.
Doing as he was told he stood and walked over to her, taking her hand and sitting on the bed. "What's wrong?" He asked while reaching up to remove those tendrils he had been admiring earlier.
She scooted over and motioned for him to lie down beside her. As he did so she laid her head in the crook of his arm and closed her eyes. She could feel the small patterns he traced upon her arm and would have loved nothing more than to fall asleep trying to guess what they were, but she had something to tell him. "That necklace that Lily has?" She waited.
"Yes?"
She took a breath. "I gave it to her. It was mine. That was me who took her from the lycans. I was the one who killed her brother." She had expected to feel lighter after the confession, but upon hearing the words spoken out loud she only felt their weight more intensely.
"What?" Michael was definitely confused. "I don't understand how could...?"
Now Selene sat up in the bed. She didn't want to be held anymore. "I'd been stalking this pair of lycans. It was typical reconnaissance work. My team and I hadn't attacked them yet in lew of hoping to follow them back to their layer. We knew they were merely out to feed, we figured we'd follow them and eventually they would lead us right back to their clan." She hung her head now, remembering was difficult. "They got away from us at one point and when I caught up with them they were in that alley. I saw her brother, God." She paused a moment to collect her memories. The images were hard to swallow. "He moved at exactly the wrong moment. I fired at the lycan and he stepped right into the bullet's path. Six of them, I'd counted, went through him and into that lycan."
"Selene." Michael sat up beside her and began to rub her back. She moved away from his hand and he let it drop.
She wouldn't look at him. She couldn't. "I saw the little girl. She was kneeling beside him, trying to wake him. I was not going to watch another person be butchered like my family. I just...I jumped down and snatched her from the second lycan. I held her close and shot behind me. I killed him, but the other one had gotten back up and was about to attack. I don't know what came over me. I was enraged. I pulled the girl close to me and bared my teeth at him in warning. I was out of bullets. If he had wanted to he could have killed us, easily. I knew it, he knew it, but he did nothing. He backed down and ran back into the darkness. I never understood why."
Selene lifted her head and tried to swallow the growing lump in her throat. "Anyway, after he was gone I put the girl in my car. She had passed out, or fallen asleep I'm not sure. I didn't blame her, and in fact I was glad for it. I hadn't wanted her to see me. I drove to this cliff that I used to go to sometimes to think. I was going to kill her, I should have. The rules of the coven demanded that I do so, but she reminded me so much of my nieces. She was so young, so innocent."
The memory flashed before Selene's eyes. //She was in her car; the girl was strapped carefully into the passenger seat. As she drove she kept looking at her, wondering what in the hell she was going to do with her. "I could turn her." She wondered briefly, but then decided against it. The girl was a mere 8 years old, perhaps younger. To be stuck at that age for eternity, well even Selene found that to be disturbing. As she reached the cliffs she got out and stared at the moon. She could still hear their screams. Those never ending echoes haunted her every breath. She remembered her family, remembered her life as a human, and remembered the night that it all had been erased. She stared hard at the girl and decided she would not let this happen again. She would not condemn a young child to the revenge filled life that her own had become.
When she reached the orphanage on the outskirts of downtown she wrapped the girl in her black leather coat for warmth and propped her against the door. She kept her eyes on the girl as she reached to ring the bell when a thought crossed her mind. Knelling beside her Selene reached around her neck and undid the clasp of the necklace she had worn. She placed it around the girl's neck and ever so gently kissed her forehead.
"May it protect you and keep you safe in darkest times little one."
She rang the door bell and left.//
"You gave her a necklace Viktor had given you?"
"Yes." Selene's mind was still reeling from her memory. She hadn't thought of the girl after that. It was as if her mind had erased the entire evening. She'd had a replacement pendent made in secret later that day while the other vampires slept. Viktor would never know the difference, and in time, after he had been laid to rest, she just stopped wearing it all together. "The necklace was to identify me as one of Viktor's own. It's his markings on the rings to the side and it would have granted me safe passage into any vampire coven. He gave it to me the first night I went hunting as a death dealer."
Michael was looking at her in awe. "And you would give such a precious gift to a human you didn't even know?"
Selene didn't answer. What was there to say?
"I thought you told Lily that all vampires of the coven had them?"
"I did. I didn't want her to know that I was the only one. That would have given me away." Now Selene looked directly at him. "I don't want her to know Michael. You can't tell her." Her tone was stern.
Michael studied her eyes for a moment. This new revelation had given him more insight into the woman he loved and at the moment his heart was overflowing, but he could see the fear in her eyes. "I won't Selene I promise, but I don't understand why you feel that way."
"I killed her brother. I may have saved her in the process, but it was my bullets, my gun that dropped him to the ground."
"She won't hold it against you."
"I don't care. She doesn't need to know."
"It wasn't your fault!"
"It doesn't matter!" She was nearly yelling at him.
"Alright, alright." He sighed. He wasn't going to argue. She clearly felt strongly about this and he would leave it at that. "I'm glad you told me." He tried to look her in the eyes, but she had turned away from him again.
She lay her head back down on the pillow, as did he, and when he heard the faint stirrings of sounds coming from her and the slight twitch of her hands he merely reached out and placed his hand upon hers. She became quiet, and a small sigh escaped her lips. He knew she would sleep better then.