Series: The Velvet Web
For the Episode: I in Team - Chapter Three
Rating: G
Description: What happened to Willow after Buffy bailed on her at the Bronze and she went to Tara's. One in a series of scenes that I am currently writing that deal with what could have happened before/after a Willow/Tara scene in the episodes of season 4. The details I've written about Tara and her background are actually for another fic that I am writing but I figured I'd start setting it up now. How very Joss, no? I'm more of a dialogue kinda gal and so my narration may not fully vivid, but I think the dialogue is pretty descriptive.
Spoilers: If you haven't seen Tara in season 4 episodes...
Feedback: Much appreciated since this wasn't read by anyone else and English is not my first language. (I have an interesting set up of grammar.) And thank you to those that have emailed me. I really appreciate it!
Disclaimers: Don't own anything, don't make any money, and blah, blah, blah, Joss, blah, blah, blah, production companies, and blah, blah, blah, the Buffy writers... I just love writing to your inventions...
Written: June 2000, with revisions at later dates
It had been about thirty seconds since Tara had shut her door after Willow's entrance. But Willow just stood in place, smiling awkwardly, delighted that even though it was late Tara had let her in.
"Hey," she said again not knowing what else to say.
Tara just smiled, "Hi."
"So, what were you doing?" Willow asked as she looked around the room. She noticed some books were sprawled out on Tara's bed. Books she didn't recognize as magical publications.
Tara walked over to her bed and sat down. "Studying... For class."
Willow proceeded to sit down on the blanketed chair facing Tara. "Anything fun? Like math?"
"No, no math. I was studying for my Greek quiz. Tomorrow." She propped up a Greek language book so Willow could see.
"You're taking Greek? Why?"
"'Cause it's cool." A shy Tara smile quickly occupied her face.
"I-I know Latin. Well, some anyway. But, I do know Hebrew. I was valedictorian of my Hebrew School class. But, I don't remember how to speak much of that either."
Tara stretched her arm out in equivalence, "Hey, I know Aramaic."
Willow, puzzled, looked at her. "But, isn't that a dead language?"
"Umm... I don't know. My mom... S-she taught me."
"Your mother must be brilliant..."
"I - I guess she w-was... So, what do you want to do? Conjurations?"
Willow shook her head slightly, "Talk, maybe?" She sighed. "I don't know. Can I just stay here while you study? Maybe look at your magic books? I-if it's not too much of a bother," she asked as she walked over to Tara's bed and sat down in the corner.
"I can study later if you'd like."
"I need to process my thoughts. And this may take a while."
"Ok. So, when you'd like to talk just, umm, let me know," she said as she picked up her Greek language book and leaned herself against the wall.
Almost immediately Willow interrupted, "See, it's just - I-I'm sorry."
"No, please. If you want to talk..." Tara sat her book down on her lap.
"You should study." Willow said shaking her head.
Tara half smiled and proceeded to read her book. Willow looked around the room and got up as soon as something familiar flickered in her sight. It was the Doll's Eye Crystal. Willow suddenly felt awful for her behavior earlier that day when Tara had innocently offered it to her. She turned to look at Tara who was intently reading. Her head hung low and strands of her blonde hair were blocking Willow's view of her face. She'd been thinking a lot about the face behind the tresses. The deep blue eyes, the fine nose, the ruby lips. She couldn't exactly explain what she felt when she thought of her new friend but Willow just knew she was special. Finally, she had met someone she trusted and all worries seemed to evanesce as soon as she saw her smile.
Willow walked up to the crystal and gently clutched it. She'd read a lot about the Doll's Eye but never successfully found one. Even the man at the magic shop had never seen one in his lifetime and no one on the internet had ever actually seen the crystal either. But here was one. In her hand, in her friends room. One that had been offered to her as a gift and she'd declined. Why was she scared? Was it the crystal itself and the energy it possessed or was it receiving a gift from a person she'd just met and quickly liked? Or, maybe, the fact it was a family heirloom that for some reason Tara didn't want to posses could have something to do with her rejection. With the crystal in hand, Willow walked back to the bed and sat down across from Tara.
"It's Buffy. I mean it's a lot of things, but right now it's all just about Buffy. Things are so weird between us."
Tara looked up at Willow as she placed the textbook on her lap, "Your roommate, right?"
"Yes. We've been friends since tenth grade, best friends, and now all of a sudden she's off with her new boyfriend all the time and his friends. And it sucks."
"Relationships - they tend to do that."
"But see, even before Riley..."
"Riley Finn?" Tara asked wide eyed.
"You know him?"
She shook her head. "N-not really. He, he went to the W-wicca group... once. Offered his help in case we needed anything."
"Riley's an ok guy. He seems really sweet. It's just his friends I don't like. I have my reasons but that's a whole 'nother story. I mean with Angel, Buffy's last boyfriend, all the couples would hang out together at least once in a while. You know, Buffy and Angel, Xander and Cordelia, me and... Oz."
"Oz?""My boyfriend..."
"Oh..."
"Well, not anymore. He left... me. But I seem to be getting better about it. It takes time to get over things like that you know. We went out for like two years. But nobody wants to hear about my pain. And, that's another reason things are so strained between us Scoobies..."
"S-scoobies?"
"Yeah, it's childish, but that's our nickname. I don't like what's happened to us this past year. Everything's changed."
"Well..."
Willow was suddenly distracted by the ethereal music in Tara's room that she had noticed for the first time. "What are we listening to?" she interrupted.
"Umm, Love Spirals Downwards."
"Yeah, especially in my case. Relationships suck... Love sucks."
"Umm, I meant t-the band's name is Love Spirals... Downwards."
"Oh. It's lovely. Very... you." Willow said looking around the room again.
Tara did not quite understand if it was a compliment or not. "Yeah. So, umm, you want to talk to me... about it? I mean, about Oz?" on she whispered, "Or, something else?"
But, Willow did not hear Tara's last sentence. "My world just fell apart after Oz left and they didn't seem to care. They are all wrapped up in their own lives too busy to notice how horrible I felt." Felt, Willow thought to herself.
"That's why the spell didn't work."
Willow was taken aback, "Huh? How do you know about the spell? I haven't told you about that."
Tara looked at her confused, "Umm... I was here... When rose went all crazy." she said softly flinging her arms about imitating the rose.
Willow sighed. "Oh, that spell. I thought you were talking about the other one I did."
"You're not focused. You're... distracted. That's why we, we weren't synchronized. A-and, I'm on one emotional plane and, you're on another." Tara shyly replied. "That's why I was looking for the cleansing ritual... It might help with your majick."
"But... I wanna be synchronized and focused. Even cleansed. That's why I did that spell that went all haywire on me."
"The Doll's Eye Crystal can help center your energy. That's why this morning I thought..."
"Tara, I'm so sorry about earlier today. I..."
Tara smiled demurely as she lowered her head. "Oh, think nothing of it. It's all right." She quickly looked up at Willow, "W-what spell did you try to do?"
Willow paused for a moment calling to mind the fiasco that had happened. In recalling the events, she did manage to giggle. "I wanted to have my will done. I tried to heal my broken heart but instead I made Xander a demon magnet, Giles blind and Buffy and Spike want to get married."
Tara stared at her straight-faced. "Uh, did you just say demon magnet?"
"I-I did, didn't I?" As Tara nodded, Willow continued, "Well, yeah. Demons. Like evil life forces." Willow managed an awkward smile.
"E-evil? Not - I mean, like those things, those Gentlemen?" She set her textbook on the bed and leaned forward, closer to where Willow was sitting. "There are others."
"Uh..." Willow tried to glance at everything except Tara. "I-I guess I should start at the beginning shouldn't I?" Willow caught her middle finger in Tara's quilted bedspread from twirling it around on the surface.
"I don't know. I've seen a lot of scary things – t-through majick, b-but..." Tara couldn't finish her sentence. She just looked as Willow untangled her finger.
Willow looked up to her, "I'm not trying to scare you, Tara," she said as she reached out her arm and softly touched her shoulder.
"I know. It's just you've got a lot of power and I'm not sure I want to play with demons. Especially after what happened with those Gentlemen."
Willow withdrew her arm, "I'm not a demon."
"No, I didn't mean you were. But, you know, demons. Not very good. Especially for mortals."
"Not all demons are bad, Tara."
"I know that – I, I've read that, but..."
"Tara...I need to be honest with you. I don't know why but I feel there's a connection here. I don't know what it is but I don't want to have any secrets between us."
"I- I don't either but... Willow, some things, sometimes secrets, are better just kept to themselves. I mean unless it's a secret that can endanger someone else or something... Are you in danger?"
Only every week, Willow thought to herself. "No, no danger. How about we conjugate Greek verbs?" She said as she reached over for Tara's textbook.
"Willow, I've been here a while - in Sunnydale. I know what's going on. I mean, I know things are askew here. That's the reason I came - here. I wanted to improve my majick. But what you're saying... Just tell me you are all right."
"I am." She smiled at Tara. She was alright, Willow realized, especially here with Tara. "No more talk of unpleasant things. I feel all focusey now. Let's do a spell."
"I don't know. It's pretty late."
"Come on..." Willow playfully pleaded, "Come on... Pretty please. With hot fudge – or caramel, and whipped cream and a cherry on top. And if you don't like cherry's... "
Tara couldn't help but smile at her friend. "Willow. Ok... What would you like to do?"
"Oh, I don't know. How about we finish healing my heart?"
Tara looked at her bewildered, "B-but, you know you shouldn't use majick for personal purposes, Willow. That's probably another reason that your spell didn't work out. Which I'm glad it didn't, even though it kinda messed up your friends for a bit. I mean... Majick... It can be very dangerous."
"I know that. It's just..."
"I understand that pain. You'll heal... Naturally." Tara softly added.
Willow looked into her eyes and believed her. "Do you have another flower?"
"Uh, again?"
"No... I-it's another kind of spell. This time we'll just change the color. It's a mini compatibility test."
Tara smiled. "Well, the first part did kinda work."
"Oh! I forgot to tell you. The reason the second part didn't work was because... Uh, this guy I know... He was brewing some evil prank ... Not- Not evil as in evil... but... He's a mischievous guy... But we stopped him." Willow managed to say without exposing Giles evening as a demon thanks to Ethan Rayne.
"We?"
"Yeah. Uh, the guy he was hexing and me... But anyhoo..." Willow looked away not only to not make eye contact with Tara but to see if there was anything they could use for this spell. Her glancing about the room stopped at an empty blue bottle with a rose in it by Tara's closet. "Oh that will do," she said as she pointed to it.
Tara turned around to see what she was referring to. "It's fake."
"Well, I didn't think that roses came in black..." She got up to grab it. "Why is it black by the way?"
"I bought it like that. I think it's very beautiful." She said as she watched Willow sit down in front of her again.
"It's very interesting... Ok... I-I think we can skip the circle. How about you?"
"Fine, I guess. It didn't really work last time."
"Ok. Give me your hands and close your eyes." Willow closed her eyes and reached out her hands. Tara held them.
"Uh, what color do you want?" she asked Willow.
"Umm... That's what we need to accomplish." Willow replied without opening her eyes. "We'll see if we think of the same color."
"Oh. Ok." Tara closed her eyes.
After a few seconds the rose began to glow. It quickly turned pink. Suddenly, it shook and turned red, then white. It continued to change hues until finally it turned black again. The two women sighed loudly and opened their eyes.
Willow looked at the rose and frowned. "What color did you think of first?" she asked.
"Pink"
"So did I!"
"B-but then I changed my mind."
"Me too. And then I couldn't concentrate on colors anymore."
"Uh, me either."
"Did you have some - I don't know - sort of vision?"
"What?"
"Oh, nothing... Well at least we didn't ruin this rose."
"No, but it is plastic."
"Should we try it again?"
"I don't know. We'll just think pink..."
"Yeah. Probably... Oh! How about..." but Willow didn't finish her sentence. She just simply smiled coyly at Tara.
"What?" asked Tara unsure.
Willow simply said, "Make the circle, light a blue candle and I'll do the rest."
"How big do you want it?" she asked as she pulled out the little chest from under her bed.
"Big enough so we both fit in it." Willow spoke never taking her eyes off her friend.
Tara quickly half turned to Willow. "Willow, I think we should go back to taking it slow. I mean... Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am." Feeling she stared in Tara's intriguing eyes a little too long, Willow shyly lowered her head.
Unexpectedly, there was a knock on the door. They both looked at each other in wonder.
"Ask who it is first, "Willow whispered. Tara, who had gotten up to answer it, looked back at her confused. "It's late..." was all Willow could think of saying. She wasn't about to tell Tara about her little run in with a fangless Spike a while back.
"Uh, who is it?" Tara asked.
It was a girls' voice. "Tara Bella, it's me. Open up."
Tara opened the door halfway, blocking Willow's view of the person outside.
"Hey. I've been calling you like a madwoman. Is something wrong with your phone? Do you have the ringer off? What'cha doing?... Spells?" she finished in a whisper.
"No. Uh...""Well, can I come in?" she asked. Willow's heart skipped a beat at the question.
"Sure. " Tara let her in. "Cassie, this is Willow", she said as she closed the door.
"Oh... I didn't know you had company." Cassie sat on Tara's bed as if she'd done it a hundred times before.
"Hi." Was all Willow was able to say. A vampire can't take two at one time... Can they? she thought to herself.
"Am I interrupting?" Cassie asked nonchalantly.
"No... Willow was just helping me with, uh, my Greek."
"Interpreting the poems of Sappho?"
Tara blushed. "Yeah."
She stood up. "Oh, well then I'll go. I was going to invite you to come for tea but if you're busy..." Cassie began to walk towards the door but turned to Tara halfway there. "Are we still on for the moon rising tomorrow night?"
"Yes."
"Cool. Nice to meet you Willow..." she stopped abruptly. "You don't live in this dorm do you?" she asked Willow.
"Uh, no..."
"I didn't think so. Well, be careful going home. It's after midnight and the campus busses aren't running. See ya."
"Bye." Tara closed the door.
"What did she mean by that?"
"Nothing. S-she's an RA."
"Oh..."
"She was my roommate. Freshman year. Well, sort of. For half a semester."
"Half a semester? How did that happen?"
"Our RA... He, uh, disappeared. And she signed up to be the resident advisor."
"He disappeared?"
"Yeah. He just up and left one day."
"Did he leave a note?" Thoughts of Sunday's vampire gang ran through Willow's mind.
"No."
"Oh..."
"What are you thinking?"
"Huh? The moon rise..."
Her eyes sparkled with excitement. "God, it's absolutely brilliant. There's this hill... What?"
"You looked so happy just then."
Tara laughed. "What?"
"Your eyes did this sparkly thing... I mean... Can I come with you?"
"Of course you can come... I mean, if you want to."
"I do." She smiled at Tara. A few seconds of silence ensued as they shyly looked at each other. "So, uh, do you still want to do the spell?" she after half hoping Tara still did.
"If you do..."
Willow nodded.
After creating the proper atmosphere, the two women quickly finished their preparations and sat down in the circle opposite each other.
"Where's the, umm, medium?" Tara asked when Willow held out her hands to hold.
"No medium. Just us."
Tara's eyes widened. "I don't know about this. I don't want to go flying around the room to bits...o-or become a demon magnet."
Willow laughed. "The circle will protect us... I hope..." Tara frowned at Willow. "I'm kidding."
"Willow..."
Willow simply closed her eyes and reached out her arms to Tara. "Just hold my hands," she said softly.
Tara did as she was told and peeked at Willow though one eye. She couldn't help but smile.
Willow soon began the invocation, "I invite thee to join me in this circle, Tara. The circle of seven times seven. By means of the beginning I call upon thee, Star Goddess.Oh Goddess I ask thee now to bring your light. Carry the suffering from the shores of ignorance and illusion to the shores of knowledge."
A soft, "Willow...." was whispered by Tara.
But Willow didn't hear her. She was wrapped up in the spell, sweating slightly and breathing heavily. "Surround us with love, strength and protect us. Heal the wounds of our past and clear our path. I ask for your compassionate blessings to-"
"Willow!" Tara almost shouted.
Disturbed out of her trance, Willow opened her eyes to find Tara floating a couple inches above the floor. "This is so cool!" She looked around herself. "Hey! No fair! Why aren't I levitating?"
But Tara didn't seem as thrilled, "Please get me down."
"I-I don't know how. I never thought it'd work." Tara looked as if she were about to cry and it pained Willow's heart. "Hold on." She quickly sat up on her knees.
Willow reached out to Tara's arm and when she touched her friend there was a flash of yellow light that came bursting out of Willow. Willow began to laugh uncontrollably. When she finally looked up at Tara, she was just inches away from her face – almost nose to nose. She stopped laughing, but remained smiling.
"Wow... That tickled one of my chakras."
"What? Willow, I'm getting scared."
"Don't be. I'm right here." Willow couldn't seem to stop smiling.
"Please, pull me down.
"How? I mean, I don't know how." Willow stood up. "If I, uh, touch you again... I wonder..." She kept looking for the correct grip to bring Tara down without actually touching her. "My legs are shaking... And you know you're glowing right?"
"No." Tara looked down below her but quickly rose her head again. "Willow, I'm afraid of heights."
Willow laughed. "You're only a couple inches off the ground." Suddenly Tara began to rise up. "And now you're moving."
"I'm getting drained."
"What?"
"I'm dizzy."
"Maybe I should pull you out of the circle. Or you could float..."
"Yeah, so I can fall on my bum..."
Willow smiled at the statement. "I wouldn't worry, it's pleasantly padded."
Tara looked straight at her. Her eyes a million years away. "Now you're making fun of my body, which I am horrendously conscious of." Willow was taken by surprise by Tara's abrupt and uncharacteristic remark.
Stunned, Willow managed to say, "Tara. I didn't mean..."
"Forget it... L-look. I-I don't like this."
The distressed look on Tara's face concerned Willow. "I-I didn't mean it as an insult..." She tried to reach out to her but stopped short of actually touching her arm.
"I, I know that. I'm sorry. I just want to get down."
Willow smiled. "Well, the only thing I can think of is to surround the circle with pillows and then..."
"B-but..." Tara tried to say. However, it was too late. Willow had exited the circle and a burst of red light came forth from Tara as she crashed on the floor.
"Oh God." Willow bent down to Tara. "Are you all right?" Apparently she was. Tara was laughing. "Tara..."
"That was kinda cool," she said as she sat up. "It, uh...It was very cool."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't think..." Willow reached out and touched her upper arm.
"Don't worry." Tara said as she put her hand over Willow's. "It's ok."
"But..." Willow couldn't finish her sentence. Smiling, they simply stared at each other.
"That was cool, wasn't it?" Willow said as she helped Tara up. "Maybe we should do it again. I mean some other time. Other than now."
Tara sat on her bed. "I don't know, it took a lot energy. I'm so very tired." She giggled.
Willow sat next to her. "Me too. It's like... Never mind."
Tara looked over to her and blushed, "I-I know what you mean."
"Right... Tara, would you mind if, umm..."
Tara smiled, "No."
Willow smiled back. "Good. I don't feel like walking to Stevenson."
"Since we both know what happened last time I walked over there alone, at night..."
Willow nodded her head. "Good! It's a sleepover." She said as she stood up.
Tara playfully declared, "Left side!" Instantly her face was struck with alarm. "I-I only have one bed..."
Willow grinned. "I-I know."
"But I don't know if you'll be...umm, uncomfortable?"
"Why would I be? Even if you snore I won't be uncomfortable."
Tara shyly smiled. "I don't."
"Well, Buffy does. Well, she snorts mostly." Tara laughed. "Sometimes it drives me insane. However, I tend to talk in my sleep. Can you believe that? Even in my sleep I can't shut up!... But, I've slept with girls before. I mean, in the same bed - before. I-I've gone to camp. Not that I am implying anything here." Tara just looked at her puzzled. "Oh, and Buffy she changes in front of me all the... But not like... T-this is one of the times I should shut up." Tara smiled. "But to answer your simple question...No, I'm not uncomfortable. Are you? I don't want to impose or anything.
"N-no. No imposition. But, I do hog the bedcover."
Willow smiled. "That's perfect. I tend to sleep half in, half out anyway."
Tara stood up and walked over to her closet. "I'll just get another one - for you. In case..." She pulled out a little blanket with colorful hearts and laid it on her bed. Willow smiled at the childish blanky. Tara just blushed. "Umm, sorry..."
"What for? It's absolutely adorable."
Tara laughed. "It's usually for picnics... I-I'm going to go to the bathroom a minute. If you want you can grab one of my pj's in the bottom drawer."
"Ok. Thanks."
Willow watched Tara grab her toiletry bag and pj's. After Tara walked out the door she simply laid back against the middle of Tara's bed and smelled in the scent of the hearts blanket.
"Hmmm... lavender." Without another word Willow was fast asleep.
Tara came back to find Willow in a sound sleep and stared at her for a moment. She shyly smiled again and, after setting her clothes and bag by the chair, she grabbed the Doll's Eye Crystal that Willow had left near the bed. She placed it in front of the door, so it would be clearly seen when Willow left in the morning. She went around her room turning off the candles and lamps. The last thing she switched off was her Christmas lights. Tara walked over to the left side of her bed and laid down on her shoulder and hip as to not disturb Willow. Sleep soon came.
The next morning Willow woke up and realized she was nearly curling up to Tara who was still sleeping peacefully. Looking at Tara's hair Willow smiled. She was beginning to understand the new feelings she was having for her friend. But then a shadow crossed her face. She realized her arm was actually stretched over Tara's waist. Slowly she withdrew it and sat up. She looked back at Tara who was undisturbed by this and quietly got out of the bed. As she tiptoed to the door Willow saw the strategically placed crystal and understood. She reached down, grabbed it, quietly opened the door and left. But, not before taking one last look at the sleeping Tara.