I incorporated the lyrics from the song by Evanescence called "Whisper". I don't own those lyrics.

Chapter 2 – Emotions Break Through

Valen studied Donnia's face. He could feel her sorrow rolling from her in waves. "Are you sure you want to continue? You look upset."

Donnia closed her eyes for a brief moment to try to hold back her emotions. "I'll be fine; I always am."

It was obvious that she was not okay, nor would she be in the near future. Her eyes were haunted; going from a crystalline green to a shadowed grey. "Maybe that's the problem," he whispered.

Donnia did not say anything to this. She had nothing to say. He was right. She never let her emotions have a role in her life. Even in the death of her mother she just plowed on and never looked back, until now. How could he already know me so well, she wondered to herself.

"I know that I don't know much about surfacers, but I do know that losing your mother could not have been easy for you."

Donnia gave a weak smile, "No, it wasn't easy. But I had to continue my life. It's in the past now, so what does is matter?"

Despite not really having ever truly known his mother, he could not hide the shock at hearing her say such a thing, "It was your mother! You saw her murdered and had her attacker turn on you and injure you." Valen paused, already seeing where this was headed. What little he did know of Donnia, he already knew the answer to the next question, "You never cried did you?"

She looked at Valen sharply, "And what of it? Do you think that everyone cries at something someone considered hurtful, painful, or worse? What does crying have to do with it?! It was my fault anyway!" she shouted at him. She shut her eyes tightly and whispered so softly, Valen had to lean forward to hear her, "Tears can't change that."

"Donnia, it was not your fault," he said in a low voice. "No one would blame a child for something like that. You did everything you could. It's not your fault," he said again.

She felt her throat closing, knowing tears were not far behind. She ordered herself not to let them fall. How would it look if the leader of this group was reduced to tears by telling a story that had happened many years ago? Besides, she knew that Valen did not trust her; no doubt this would make him more wary of placing that much needed trust if she were to lose control over her emotions.

He could see her fighting her emotions. From what he had observed, he knew her to be strong, but he knew who would win that battle.

Before she could stop it, one tear spilled over and ran down her cheek. She went to wipe it away, but Valen stopped her. Unsure what guided his motions, very gently he brushed his thumb over her cheek and removed the tear. Donnia looked up at him, eyes swimming with raw grief. Without thinking, he cautiously and slowly held out his arms to her. She looked at him in confusion for only the briefest of moments before falling into those arms and crying.

Her body shook with each sob. Never before had he seen anything like this. No one he had ever encountered had such strong emotions. He did not understand how she could have battled them inside for so long. However, he began to wonder if her battle was just like his own: fighting against feeling and urges until they finally erupted. He offered no words of comfort, he could think of none to offer, but just held her while she emptied herself of years of bottled up anguish.

Her sobs quieted, but she made no motion to remove herself from his embrace. It was the safest she had felt in over fifteen years. He's so warm, she though to herself. How does he do it in this dark place?

Valen still said nothing, but looked down at her as she eventually pulled away. Her face was streaked with tears, her eyes were raw and red, but she looked better. There was no war going on behind those eyes any longer. He had no explanation as to why he had done as he had, but seeing her once again crystal-green eyes looking back at him, he began to understand.

"I'm sorry," was the first thing Donnia could think to say.

"Don't apologize. That was long overdue and you know it as well as I." Must she always feel so about her emotions? he wondered to himself. As you do, yourself, he thought.

"Then all I can say is thank you." Donnia was a bit wary as to why he had suddenly gotten over his urge to not speak to her outside of warnings and saying how he did not trust her, but in truth, she did feel better. If for nothing else, she could thank him for that and hope that maybe there might be a change in how they regarded one another from that time.

Valen smiled softly, "I believe it is Nathyrra's turn for watch."

Donnia nodded her head and turned to wake Nathyrra for her watch. He doesn't do that near often enough, she thought. That is maybe the third time he had smiled since leaving Lith My'athar two weeks ago for the Isle of the Maker. He really is quite handsome when he smiles, her thoughts continued, even more so because it is always so unexpected.

Surprised at herself and her thoughts, she almost violently shook her head to clear those thoughts from her mind. They were very uncharacteristic of her, and besides, this was not the time for them to start.

The faces were surrounding her. Their voices calling out to her, wanting her to join them. The victims of Nathyrra's assassination haunted her every dreaming moment. Sometimes, she could even see their faces in her wakefulness. Now, they were beckoning her to come ever closer to their side.

She fought back against them, but her fear and struggling only fed into their strength.

The world around her was shadowed and foreboding. No light of ever needed hope was shining in the distance. The wailing of the dead came around her in a great crescendo, yet there was some other noise. Something else was out their, calling to her. At first, she was afraid. It's just a trick to lure me in, she thought. That voice kept calling to her, wanting her to come find it.

At last, she found her beam of hope.

She moved to the voice, hearing it clearly, despite the voices surrounding her. Each time it faded she would call out to it, and give it strength in her hope for it. She wanted this nightmare to end and she knew if she could find the source of that voice it would be.

The sound of the voice was soft, melodic. "Please!" she called out to it, "Help me! Save me! 'Catch me as I fall. Say you're here and it's all over now.'" Nathyrra felt as though she were talking to the air, but knew better. I'm 'speaking to the atmosphere. A sliver of panic rushed through her, No one's here and I fall into myself, she thought to herself. This is the truth. This I cannot ignore. 'This truth drives me into madness.'

The voice called back to her, "'I know [you] can stop the pain if [you] will it all away.'"

The dead called back to Nathyrra and the voice of hope, "'Don't turn away!'"

The soft voice called back, shining a little more hope into Nathyrra's heart, "'Don't give into the pain, though they're screaming your name.'"

Nathyrra tried to close her eyes, to block it all out, but the voice called to her, "'Don't close your eyes...[I] know what lies behind them. Don't turn out the light.'"

Nathyrra called out to the voice, " If I 'never sleep' I'll 'never die'."

Donnia hurried to Nathyrra's side, hearing her struggles in her sleep. She carefully shook her side, hoping to bring her from her nightmare.

Nathyrra bolted awake at the touch of Donnia's hand. Tears streamed down her face. Without waiting for Donnia to say anything, Nathyrra began to try and explain. "'I'm frightened by what I see, but somehow I know that there's so much more to come. Immobilized by my fear, and soon to be blinded by tears'." What the voice had said to her, came back '[You] can stop the pain if [you] will it all away'.

Donnia used Nathyrra's break in her explanation to ask, "Nathyrra, what are you talking about?"

"'Fallen angels at my feet. Whispered voices at my ear. Death before my eyes. Lying next to me, I fear. She beckons me. Shall I give in? Upon my end shall I begin forsaking all I've fallen for? I rise to meet the end'."

"Nathyrra, I know there is nothing I can say to make this all go away. Please, just know that if you ever need someone to listen, I will always be here for you."

Nathyrra smiled wanly, "I know that now. And I do feel better just saying it aloud in safety. You get some sleep." Nathyrra turned away to sit at the best vantage point over their small camp to keep watch over them in their sleep.

Donnia woke to darkness again, but knew it was time to move on. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she did not relive that horrid day as a child in her nightmares.

She rose and heard Valen and Nathyrra stirring, so she knew they too were getting ready for the day.

Her armor in place, her sword at her side, Donnia joined her group. Expecting awkwardness from her encounter with Valen the night before, she was surprised when she felt none. Valen watched her as she approached and was pleased to note that her eyes remained unhaunted.

Nathyrra glanced from Donnia back to Valen, trying to suppress a grin. She knew that Valen had suffered a great loss during the Blood Wars, just as she knew that the first time she had seen him smile was with Donnia. Besides, it gave her something else to think on other than her nightmares. "Where shall we head today, Donnia?" Nathyrra called to her. "Beholders or illithid?"

"We should head for the beholders. I want to put off facing a brain extraction as long as possible," she added with a grin.

With little more than that, the three of them set off to face that day's dangers.