Disclaimer: o.o; hi. me. no. own. me. sad. T-T (people: what the…)
Tenipuri Phone Messages
by: yukuro
Recording Fifty: Kirihara Akaya
"Yo! This is Kirihara Akaya and you have no rightful excuse to call me. Unless you're someone important; like Sanada-fukubuchou, Yukimura-buchou or Yanagi-senpai. The rest of you have no business with me. Or maybe you called because you want me to beat you in tennis. HAHAHA! I never lose to anyone outside of Rikkai! …unless you're Fuji Syusuke or Echizen. If you are, I'll bite you."
--Messages--
Message From: Jackal Kuwahara
"Akaya, it's Jackal. Um, I'm not sure why but your recording somehow disturbs me, Akaya… And is the rest of the team really of so little importance? Anyway, the team is planning on going to visit Yukimura today. Sanada is already there. You're coming with us, aren't you? I heard something about practice afterwards, but I'll have to call around to ask about that. Anyway, call me back later."
Message From: Sanada Genichirou & Yukimura Seiichi
"Don't say such ridiculous things on your phone, Kirihara. You're embarrassing yourself."
"Hmm, don't listen to him, Akaya. Sanada is one that's embarrassed. I hope you're coming with the rest of the team today. I haven't seen you in a while. Are you playing tennis well, Akaya?"
"Well enough to put a few of our non-regulars into the infirmary."
"Haha, that sounds like our Akaya. Stop by today if you can, alright? I hope to see you."
Message From: Yanagi Renji
"Though I'm not quite sure whether I should be pleased or worried about your recording, it is an interesting piece of data. I hope you'll join the team to visit Seiichi today, Akaya. There will be practice afterwards, so contact me if anything happens."
Message From: Rikkai Dai Fuzoku Chuu School Nurse
"Kirihara-kun, I know you may have been experiencing some…anger management problems? Anyway, I'm a bit concerned about you. In fact, I'm almost as concerned for you as I am for the twelfth classmate you've sent to me this week. H-hmm… Silly of me, I seem to have forgotten the purpose of this call. Maybe I should call your parents instead… Oh my…"
(Kirihara has no comments because he's busy plotting who knows what)
-----
Recording Fifty-One: Niou Masaharu & Yagyuu Hiroshi
"Hello, you have reached the phone of Yagyuu Hiroshi…"
"And Niou Masaharu. …wait a minute. Niou-kun, I'm Yagyuu."
"No, I think you're mistaken, Niou-kun. I'm Yagyuu Hiroshi."
"Niou-kun, you may be a trickster, but you cannot trick me over my own identity."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Niou-kun."
"…why did we have to share this phone again?"
"Ah, that was because the others decided since they had too much trouble telling us apart all the times we've switched identities, we may as well share a phone. Silly of you to forget, Niou-kun."
"…you're Niou-kun. I'm Yagyuu."
"Ohoho, it seems your identity switching has even confused, Niou-kun!"
"I am not confused. You are the one confused, Niou-kun."
"I most certainly am not, Niou-kun."
"…stop that. It's irritating."
"You're so amusing, Niou-kun."
"…fine. If you really are Yagyuu, what color boxers do you wear?"
"…what kind of perverted question is that?!"
"Just answer the question please."
"Uh…white?"
"That would be incorrect. They're black."
"…what does that have to do with anything, you damn pervert?!"
"Aha! That proves you are indeed Niou-kun. Yagyuu the gentleman would never curse like you just did so, Niou-kun."
"…damn it…"
"I win."
"Hey, do you really wear black boxers?"
"Ahem, leave a message after the tone please."
"What? It's not like they're pink!"
"…"
--Messages--
Message From: Marui Bunta
"AAAAAHHH! I think I'm scarred for life! I'll never call you guys again even if you bribe me with fifty cakes! …although, that would be nice. I don't even know if I want to tell you guys to come to practice anymore…"
Message From: Sanada Genichirou
"…Yagyuu, Niou! That is no way for regulars of Rikkai to behave! You two fix that recording or you'll both be punished when you get over here for practice! You're not getting out of this one…"
"Tee hee…Sei-niichan, your friend sounds like my father!"
"Or grandfather!"
"…this is a bad time. You two had better do what I said. Don't bother switching identities again either!"
Message From: Kikumaru Eiji & Oishi Syuichiroh
"Nya! Oishi! Guess what?! I got through to those two guys that we lost to from Rikkai Dai! You know, those two that switched places and that one guy that hit me in the face! I want a rematch, nya! That one guy was a big jerk…"
"E-Eiji, is that thing recording?"
"Oh. That didn't occur to me… Nyahaha! Oh well! Oishi, let's go back to practice with Fudoumine!"
"E-Eiji…!"
(Niou finds their recording quite amusing, actually. Yagyuu wishes the conversation wasn't recorded. In fact, Yagyuu would like to throw their phone into the ocean)
-----
Recording Fifty-Two: Jackal Kuwahara
"This is Jackal Kuwahara. I'm not here right now, probably because I'm babysitting Akaya, but anyway… Leave a message and I'll return the call as soon as I can. That is, if Akaya doesn't bite my fingers off before I get a chance to…"
--Messages--
Message From: Kirihara Akaya
"Hmph! I don't need a babysitter! I wouldn't have even agreed to let someone follow me around all the time if Yukimura-buchou, Sanada-fukubuchou, and Yanagi-senpai hadn't all ganged up together and made me. I don't see why someone has to follow me around all the time. So I did fall asleep on the bus a few times and ended up at Seigaku once, destroyed their practice, but that doesn't mean anything! That's not fair…"
Message From: Marui Bunta
"Ne, Jackal! Did you hear? We're having practice after we visit Yukimura today! We finally get to all play together again! By the way…does Kirihara really bite people? Whew, I'm just glad I wasn't assigned to follow him around…"
Message From: Sanada Genichirou
"Come to think of it…could you escort Kirihara to the hospital on the way over? We wouldn't want him eati—I mean, scaring any children…"
(Kuwahara wonders why he had to be the one stuck being the babysitter)
-----
Recording Fifty-Three: Marui Bunta
"Yo, you've reached tensai Marui Bunta's phone! And yes, I am so a genius in ways… Heheh. Anyway, leave a message after the beep or whatever sound they're supposed to play after you talk and I'll call you back when I can. Now I'm hanging up because even geniuses have lives."
--Messages--
Message From: Akutagawa Jirou
"Marui-kun! Marui-kun! It's Akutagawa from Hyotei! I saw your last school match! Suge! You were so cool! I wish I could do a rising shot as well as you can! Marui-kun, you're so cool! Kakkoi!"
Message From: Yagyuu Hiroshi
"Oh, Marui-kun, this is Yagyuu. I would like to apologize on behalf of Niou-kun's and my cell phone recording. I'm sure you would have preferred not to know what color my boxers are and you should be glad Niou-kun didn't say he was wearing red. Hmm… I seem to have made the situation worse… I'll be hanging up now."
Message From: Niou Masaharu
"Oh yeah?! Well, I for one am glad you won't call us again! …wait, did Yagyuu just call to apologize? Damn it…"
Message From: Jackal Kuwahara
"Marui? It's Jackal. I already heard about practice, thanks. I'll probably be a little late though since Sanada asked me to go with Akaya. Thanks for rubbing the babysitting thing in, by the way…"
Message From: Amane "David" Hikaru
"Heheh what a funny name. Marui ga marui ka? Pfft…!"
(Marui stares at his phone blinking)
-----
Recording Fifty-Four: Yanagi Renji
"Konnichiwa. This is Yanagi Renji. I'm sorry for missing your call, but if you leave a message after the tone, I will try to get back to you as soon as I'm available again. Thank you."
--Messages--
Message From: Kirihara Akaya
"Yanagi-senpai! I don't want to be 'escorted' to the hospital! I can go by myself. I would go complain to someone else, but… Yanagi-senpai!"
Message From: Inui Sadaharu
--Searching…--
--Searching…--
--Searching…--
"Well, Renji, it seems you really do have a blocker to my system. Interesting…but anyway, I hope we can see each other again soon. The match we had was an excellent one, but I hope we can play more often like before. I wish I could talk more, but I have to go back to practice now. Ja."
Message From: Jackal Kuwahara
"Um, Yanagi? Kirihara just ditched me. Actually, he said he was going to look for you. Um… I guess I'll just go ahead then…"
Message From: Niou Masaharu
"Yo, Master Yanagi. I heard Seigaku's Kikumaru spill about a practice with Fudoumine. Now's a good time to go spying, isn't it? Heheh…now I just need you to help convince Sanada…"
Message From: Sanada Genichirou & Yukimura Seiichi
"Yanagi, I just heard Kirihara ran away to go look for you. Do you mind keeping an eye out for him on the way over?"
"Heh, Akaya is such a trouble some boy, isn't he?"
"Yukimura…"
"Yes?"
"…you say that like it's cute…"
"Heh heh…"
Special Feature: Stalking data blocker
(Yanagi frowns at his phone before Kirihara pops up out of nowhere)
-----
Recording Fifty-Five: Sanada Genichirou
"This is Sanada Genichirou. I'm not here at the moment. Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can. Thanks."
"Hey, nii-san, that's a really boring message recording!"
"…"
"Don't be angry, Sanada. They're just children."
"…"
"Sei-niichan! Your friend with the boring recording said he wants to marry you!"
"Wh… I said no such thing."
"He did so, Sei-niichan!"
"We can't let him have Se-niichan that easily. We have to make sure he's good enough first."
"Yeah!"
"…Yukimura, will you say something to them?"
"They're only children, Sanada. By the way, you left your phone recording."
"How do I delete this?"
"Saa…"
"Hehehe, now your recording is interesting, nii-san!"
--Messages--
Message From: Marui Bunta
"Whoa… Sanada… You want to marry Yukimura?! Well, good luck and maybe one of you can get a gender change so you can marry each other legally. Heheh… Oh. Don't kill me at practice… I was only joking…kind of…"
Message From: Yanagi Renji & Kirihara Akaya
"Well, Genichirou. I hate to say I guess I saw that coming. Anyway, I'll give you and Seiichi my full blessings. I wouldn't be a good best friend if I didn't."
"Ne, Yanagi-senpai. Can they actually get married?"
"Please stop clinging to my arm, Akaya."
"Well? Can they?"
"Um… I don't think so…"
"Then how does that work?"
"Actually, I'm not sure. Now, come on. Let's just go to practice already."
"I hate weddings. They're always so sappy and long and pathetic…"
"Akaya…"
"Sorry."
Message From: Niou Masaharu
"Well, well… I always did think something was going on. Looks like my suspicions have been proved correct. So…when's the wedding? Well, Sanada. Be a good husband or wife or whatever to Yukimura and take care of your kids. Your kids…haha…!"
Message From: Yagyuu Hiroshi
"I apologize for Niou-kun's call earlier. He really has no idea what he's talking about. I suppose all of our identity switching has done damage to his brain."
"HEY!"
"Men can't have children! Anyway, see you at practice later then…and congratulations on your wedding."
Message From: Jackal Kuwahara
"Uh… I'll just call back when you're here to answer the phone… right…"
Message From: Kirihara Akaya
"Is it even legal?"
"Akaya!"
"Ok, ok, I'm coming."
(Poor, exasperated Sanada struggles to find a way to re-record his message)
-----
Recording Fifty-Six: Yukimura Seiichi
"You've reached Yukimura Seiichi. I'm sorry I'm unavailable to receive your call right now, but leave a message and I'll try to get back to you."
"Yukimura's probably in the hospital for some reason or another. Oh when will our pretty, pretty captain come back to us?"
"Shut up, Niou."
"It's alright, Sanada."
"Yeah, Sanada. You're not married to Yukimura yet."
"…"
"Don't forget to leave a message."
--Messages--
Message From: Jackal Kuwahara
"Yukimura, I'm a bit worried about Sanada. He won't talk to anyone and walked away to hide himself when everyone started talking about this wedding thing. Wait…the wedding thing was a joke, right?"
Message From: Yanagi Renji
"Oh, Seiichi. I was wondering if you've seen Genichirou around. After he hid himself, he won't answer his phone. Niou and Marui have called his phone five times but got kind of distracted by the recording. They're behind me cracking up right now. Well, if you see him, tell him to come back. I'm sure he'd listen to you."
Message From: Marui Bunta
"Hey, you two are getting married really early, huh? Hahah! I'll make you guys a wedding cake! …I might eat half of it first though…"
Message From: Niou Masaharu & Yagyuu Hiroshi
"Yukimura, just let us know if Sanada is ever a bad husband or wife or whatever to you, ok? We'll beat him up for you."
"See if you can first, Niou-kun."
"Yes, see if you can, Niou-kun."
"…don't start that again."
"Of course not, Niou-kun."
"…"
Message From: Kirihara Akaya
"When you have your wedding, please make it short. I hate long weddings."
Message From: Sanada Genichirou
"I am not hiding. I'm just standing behind a tree. What is with all this wedding business anyway? …I'm not even going to talk about this anymore."
(Yukimura simply chuckles lightly)
Owari!
--- --- ---
A/N: da da da dan! Finally finished all the schools! Ah, but don't run off yet. The next chapter is the Epilogue, which means I'll be writing the mess of the big event at Seigaku. Hahah…
There are so many things going on, so I'll have to do highlights. Any requests for a portion on certain characters? x] Plus, as a warning, I'm very bad at humorous shorts x.x
Well, now that that's clear, I'd like to apologize for the delay. I was on "vacation" (if you can even call it that) in Utah. Why there? …good question. I blame my parents. n.n;;
Oh, right. To the reviewer (I'm sorry I can't look up your name. My laptop isn't connected to the internet ) who mentioned a similar fic in Chinese on a BBS, yes, I know about that. Actually, someone directly translated this fic onto that page. The moderator emailed me to ask me about it. Ah… well, that's the problem with fan fiction. Where are the copyrights?! XD
To the other reviewer (Again, I'm sorry about the name x.x) who said you've printed out this entire story. Wow. I'm completely flattered. I'm glad you liked this story! I'll try hard to keep you entertained (sometimes I think I try too hard .). Thank you so much! xD
Thanks again for reading, everyone! Please look forward to the final chapter!
Amane's Pun:
"Marui ga marui ka?" – well, "marui" is the Japanese word for "round." In this case, I was using it to kind of mimic Marui-kun's name. Of course, Marui-kun's name does not mean "round" (thank goodness xD). I believe his name is written as "pure community" or something. I'm not sure since I haven't really looked at the kanji in his name. So, pretty much it translates as: "Is Marui round?" Really doesn't make sense in English of course. nn; Thank you for reading the explanation of my really weird pun. Lol.