Strong Master Runner
I expected and kind of hoped for this. Unfortunately it was all written in script form. I will try to do this as fast as possible. I will not add any new jokes to this since I'm saving material for later.
Disclaimer: If I owned any of this stuff I would rule the world.
The Cast:
Master Chief: Strong Bad
Master Chief 2: The Cheat
Master Chief 3: Homestar
(Author's Note: I decided to have it like following the story co-op with three people because it would be hard to cast all the characters.)
Cortana: Homsar
Keyes: Strong Mad
Sergeant Johnson: Marzipan
Foehammer: Pom Pom
Monitor: Bubs
Other characters will be done as we go through the story and occasionally be cast as enemies.
The Pillar of Autumn
We see the opening scene as we hear Strong Mad's voice say, "Uhhhhh" "Remember the cake!" exclaimed Homsar. "Cut! Start over from the top!" Yelled the Director at the incompetent cast.
The Pillar of Autumn
We see the opening scene as we hear Strong Mad's voice say in his usual lack of volume control "DID WE LOSE IT?!?" "The mysteries of life revealed!" exclaimed Homsar in response.
On the bridge of the Autumn the two insignificant intelligent people were talking. Let's listen to the sheer stupidity.
"WE JUMPED!"
"Doughnuts are faster!"
"I can't take it any more!" Yelled a familiar voice as Strong Bad walked up and pushed a few buttons under where a hologram of Homsar should be." This should fix you!" Then Strong Bad walks off to go to sleep. As he walks off a hologram of Homsar appears and starts saying, "at light speed my maneuvering option were limited. Until we decelerated no one could have missed the hole we made in Subspace."
At that moment everyone stops what they are doing and stares at Homsar in awe at the fact he said his lines perfectly. Strong Mad started to continue, "HOW WE STAND!?"
"Our fighters are mopping up the last of the resistance, But I detected multiple Approach signals from four CCS battle groups with three Capital ships per group."
"EVERYONE TO THEIR STATIONS!"
"Everyone?"
"YES EVERYONE! HOMSAR!"
"It's Cortana."
"TELL MY BROTHER IT'S 5:20 PM."
"I already begun."
The scene changes to a shot of a Pelican (not the animal the transport) and zooms out to reveal People loading vehicles and looking busy, then switches to a bunch of marines standing in two lines with Marzipan walking in between them. "I making 200 dollars every 15 seconds I spend standing here" whispered Random Marine One to Random Marine Two. "I know you can't beat this job." He responded. Then Marzipan addressed the Marines, "Ok I'm supposed to say something about tearing out the enemie's skulls but that sounds mean so just leave."
At the CryoBay as a panel makes a noise. Then Technician One reads the screen that says unseal hushed cases "Whoa check it out" Technician Two come and looks at screen
"Let's get this over with." He sighed.
The camera zooms to the Cryotube as Technician One yells "Blowing the pins in five!"
Then the 3 Cryotubes open and Strong Bad, Homestar, and The Cheat step out of the tubes. All three are in green armor like Master Chief's armor from Halo except The Cheat's was short and made to better suit him, Homestar's has no arms, and Strong Bad's had boxing gloves. "Spwing Bweak!" yelled Homestar.
"Really where are the chicks?"
"Nemah memeah me."
"It's not? Crap. Let's get going."
"But what about looking pitch and stuff?" said the disappointed Technician Three. "Man, That's for the game we don't need it." Strong Bad said as they walk off and continued until... "Covering Fire!" yelled a Marine as he fired his Assault Rifle.
The three run to the source of the noise to see on the other side of the room a blue elite.
"Hey ugly!" said Strong Bad as he stuck up his two boxing gloves like he's flipping the elite off "The double deuce!" the elite looks at strong bad confused as the blast doors close.
The trip to the bridge was extremely uneventful so we'll just skip to the part where they get to bridge.
The trio arrives at the bridge with Homestar having a dent in his helmet, The Cheat with a foot print on the back of his armor, and Strong Bad wearing a sombrero. "What happened out there?" exclaimed the author.
"Well The Cheat ran ahead and got kicked in the back by an Elite and then I threw Dumb Face at the Elite head first" explained Strong Bad.
"What about the sombrero?"
"I felt like wearing a sombrero."
"Whatever, just talk to Strong Mad."
"THE CHEAT!" exclaimed Strong Mad as he got The Cheat in a bear hug.
"Time to move on" said Strong Bad.
Strong Mad puts down The Cheat, looking like he's trying to remember "uuuuuhhhhhhh......"
"Remember your line?"
Strong Mad suddenly realizes what he was trying to remember, "OH YEAH!" He suddenly punches Homestar very hard and sends him flying
"That's not what I meant!" Strong Bad uttered while laughing very hard then said, "Just forget it."
"WAIT!" Exclaimed a familiar voice with a funny accent, "The aeathor decided to have me take Strang Mad's place for this scene."
"Oh great." said Strong Bad.
An explosion suddenly shakes the ship. "Hey man, the main cannon exploded." said Bubs.
"You're not supposed to be here, Bubs." said Strong Bad.
"The author decided to give me odd jobs until my part comes."
"Moving on." said the author impatiently.
"The cannon was my last defensive option." said Homsar.
"I'm starting core preatical. Hamsar can't be captured."
"While you do what? Go down with the ship?" said Hamsar.
"I'm landing on that ring."
"I set up a place for you to land. Yank me." said Homsar as he disappeared.
"Strang Mad, you can come back now!" said Coach Z as he left. Strong Mad comes up to the machine trying to take Homsar's data thing out of the machine then he starts to punch it out of frustration. "Let me take care of that big guy. I know I'm going to regret this." said Strong Bad as he removes Homsar's data thing from the machine and puts it into his helmet. "Structures collapse on me!" "Great." Said Strong Bad sarcastically.
As Strong Mad is about to hand each of them a pistol he says, "HERE SOME GUNS!"
"Wait! Those pistols are fully loaded! You need to get rid of some of the ammo." exclaimed the author. "OK!" Strong Mad proceeds to shoot random things with each pistol. Then he hands them to The Chort and Strang Mad.
(Coach Z! Stop messing with the story!)
"Fine" said the Coach in the background as he plodded off scene. Homestar walks on the scene obviously dazed "Hello Pie peoples." Strong Mad then threw a pistol at Homestars back, knocking him back and making him respawn. "Wow! That has to be some kind of record! He lost before even combat started. Let's go!" "Meh!"
In the hallway they each pull out their pistol. Then run into the first Grunts. "Hey look, The Cheat someone shorter then you!" said Strong Bad jokingly. "Meh" responded The Cheat as he aimed his pistol. "Huh? The Cheat? Hey #2 it's the Cheat!" said one Grunt in a Grunt's normal helium-induced sounding voice which sounds suspiciously like Teen Girl Squad.
"Really? Hey everyone it's The Cheat!" yelled Grunt number two. Then suddenly just about every Grunt on the PoA rushes up to The Cheat.
"The Cheat!"
"The Cheat YOU'RE MY HERO!"
"MARRY ME THE CHEAT!"
"MEATBALL!"
"THE CHEAT YOU RULE!"
Then Strong Bad with one box glove replaced with a Mega Phone said speaking into the mega phone said, "Attention all Grunts. Why do you like the cheat so much?"
"He's cool!"
"His color scheme looks good!"
"He's short!"
"SPAGETTHI!"
The Cheat who is swarmed by grunts lets out a loud "MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"THE CHEAT" said an enraged Strong Mad as he rushes in and starts smashing all the Grunts swarming The Cheat, then walks off to the bridge. "Behold the flakes!" said Homsar.
Strong Bad was looking at a map on the wall then said, "Man this ship is bigger then I remember." "Hey, a ball! The Cheat pitch to me!" said Homestar getting ready to kick.
"Meh" The Cheat said in agreement as he rolls the ball to Homestar.
Homestar then kicks the ball very hard and it goes bouncing through the ship.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" screeched the ball goes through the ship killing most remaining Covenant forces.
Because the ball killed most covenant so we'll just skip to the part of the last life boat.
We see the three behind some things used as a barrier between them and the covenant.
"The bronco's bucking a little" said Homsar's voice. "My brother told me he was changing his name cause he hated me and said I needed counseling. I don't talk about it much 'cause I forget often" said Homestar laying on of those couches people lie on in a physiatrist's office, while the Cheat was wearing glasses and taking notes.
"I've got it" said Strong Bad as he jumped up on the grenade holding thing then said, "Hey aliens!" then as all the remaining Covenant look at Strong Bad he said while pulling something from his back, "Look at this."
"Oh no!" said a Grunt.
"Wort Wort Wort!"
"Ta-Da" exclaimed Strong Bad showing his picture of the one legged puppy named "Lil' Brudda"
Then all the Covenant run away crying. "Let's go" said Strong Bad. As they are about to go in the Life Pod they see a Marine on the floor. "Lil' Brudda" sobbed the Marine as Strong Bad throws everyone, including himself in then says "ok pilot let's go."
"No", said the gray pilot.
"What!? Gron Sad? Get going."
"No" said Strong Sad the screen flashes and then The Cheat is holding a pistol to Strong Sad's lobster Gobbie.
"Ready for take off", said a very reluctant Strong Sad. The Life pod takes off and heads toward the ring. "What is that thing?" said a marine. "I don't know but we're landing on it." said Gron Sad. "It's time for Autumn!" said Homsar as the Autumn is going over the life pod being shot to tiny bite sized pieces.
"Entering the ring's Atmosphere in 5!"
There you go! The first newly revised chapter of my beloved fanfiction. Please review and tell me what you think. I did make more additions then I planned on but don't bother pointing them out (I don't want to think of this as a Q&A or anything like that and get it removed) give good reviews and my other original chapter will be released.