The plot has changed somewhat, I noticed :P

It feels like I have written two different stories and meshed them together into one polluted stream of consciousness... Hopefully it works.

I started off writing more of a light, slight humour POV Fic but as I went on I felt the need to write some angst and seeing as it is my story I thought I'd try it :P

Oh well, Enjoy!

One in Particular

It was happening again. Everything was white. I could hear the same phrase I heard the time before. I had hoped to god or anything that resembled god to let this all be over but I am and wasn't that lucky.

I quickly became aware that we were stood in my parent's dining room. John and Frank sat at the table with my mother and father whilst Howard stood in front of my father - It was question time.

"What's going on man" Came the expected question from the man behind me.

"It's our dinnertime"

At this point it was when Arnold came running into the room, apologizing for being late and out of breath. My father had just glared at him so Arnold stood behind Howard awaiting his question.

"Howard, what defines a galaxy?"

Howard grinned, he knew this one. He grinned the grin that all of my brothers grinned when they knew the question being asked. Most of the time they would give the correct answer and this question was relatively easy compared to some of the questions my father asked. I couldn't see him with his book so I assumed then he was asking some of the very few he actually knew himself.

"Basically Father, Galaxies are the fundamental units of structure in the universe where stars form"

"Fair enough, you may sit, Arnold... Explain Einstein's theory of relativity"

Dave looked at me "you're stuffed man" I glared at him but I remember seeing the sympathetic look he gave me and I just sighed. He was right 'I WAS Stuffed' I never knew what that damned theory was, I still don't! And frankly I couldn't care less about what theory Einstein came up with about relativity that everyone finds so important that they need to mention it constantly. But this is now and that was then. I was a ten-year-old, standing in front of my father's cold glare and indeed himself, being asked that question and it was terrifying.

"Well father... the theory of relativity... the theory thought up by Einstein, his theory that led to the question, what is relativity..."

"Arnold?" My father interjected

"Yes Father?

"You don't know do you?"

"No Sir"

"Arnold?"

"Yes Sir?"

"Don't you think you should be going to bed?"

"Yes Sir"

With that the young Arnold looked to the floor and made his way towards the door.

"That's discustin'"

"That was my father"

"From what you told me, I could never believe it, you always said it was bad but..."

"You think this is bad?!"

"It gets worse?!"

"This is just a normal day... actually we're about one head down the toilet away from a normal day"

And then everything went white once more. When it stopped we were in the hallway outside my old room. My father was pounding on the door, Shouting at me to come out. I remember that day like it happened yesterday.

I remember the noise. I remember the pain. I remember waking up. I remember being surrounded by white, Those few days I spent in the hospital were some of the best of my life. Unfortunately I wasn't witnessing those days of bliss; I was witnessing the day that lead to them. I didn't want to watch. I sat by the wall and put my head in my hands.

Dave crouched down next to me to see what was wrong.

"What's up man?"

"This is a nightmare, Why am I going through this again?" I said more to myself than Dave.

"I don't know man.... Why is he shouting at you?"

"I've just called him a bastard and locked myself in my room"

Just then my father had knocked down the door and we could hear the screams coming from the room. Dave got up to see what was going on.

"You don't want to look" I informed him but I was too late he was staring in what I could only assume was shock at what he was witnessing going on in my old room.

I had blamed myself for that evening. If I had tried harder I would never have come home to his disappointment, to his shame. I would have never gotten angry and shouted at him. I would have never called him and ran. He wouldn't have chased me up the stairs and broke down my door. It was my fault it happened. For a long time I believed that. Even as I grew older and I knew in my mind it wasn't my fault. I shouldn't be to blame; I never believed it in my heart.

How could I not blame myself for my father's disappointment? My brothers got his approval so why couldn't I? So I blamed my self for his anger. I was thirteen, seeking my father's affection. He wasn't in the wrong, It was I.

I tried to drown out the screams but to no avail, hearing the young Arnold plead with his father brought back the vivid memories of that evening. I was so wrapped up in those memories it took me a while to realized Dave was hugging me.

"Calm down Rimmer" By that point I had realized I had a tight grip on my hair and was quite franticly rocking back and forth. I couldn't see anything as my eyes were quite painfully shut. Dave grabbed my hands and told me to let go. When I did he sat in front of me, holding my hands and told me to look at him. I barley noticed anything, it was so bright. By the time I looked at him my surroundings had changed.

Dave was still looking at me with concern. He stood and I followed him. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me 'No matter what, I'm here' I had felt like I wasn't truly there. It was like I was watching myself as well as my younger self; it was a strange feeling.

Then he disappeared. I was left alone. I couldn't understand why he had just vanished. One moment he was stood in front of me and the next he was gone. I was alone. Left watching the day when I got emancipated, But I didn't care. He had left me. He had left me once again and I was left to myself and to my memories with no hope of escape. I thought that would be all I would ever have, Just Me, Me and my memories.

I hope you liked it enough to review... or just review anyway...

I tried to go for a bit of angst, not sure t worked, I'm not great at it. I'm to used to doing humour and I find it difficult to do serious stuff so any criticisms or encouragements are welcome.

Thanks for your time.

Toodles!