A/N; I am on a role! I have so much I should be doing but you know who cares!!! Spoilers for Singularity- season one. This is a little depressing, but I was kind of going for a 'beautiful sadness'. Please excuse the quality of these chapters, I plan to do an edit and repost soon!
Shanks-Away
CaptainDoctor
"I love it here." Sam said to her mom. The two were in a park near Sam's house, both sitting on a swing. The two watched a group of children playing in a sandbox. Sam felt the familiar pang of envy, that she could only presume was caused by her biological clock ticking.
"You want one?" Tamara said.
"What?" Sam asked coming out of her dream.
"You want a child, or three..." Tamara said.
"God, I can't imagine. I always wondered how you did it. How you took something so helpless and fragile and made it into a person." Sam said.
"For some, it takes practice and for some lucky ones, it's a second nature." Tamara said.
"I have that same dream most women do. You hear women who talk about the strong connection between them and their child and that there is nothing like it. I think it would be pretty amazing." Sam said.
"It is." Tamara said reaching out and squeezing her arm softly.
"Did you ever think you could not do it?" Sam asked her mother.
"Sometimes. But then other times I thought it was something I was born to do. I would see they way your brother would be mesmerized by every truck he saw, or how you would lie on the grass and watch the stars come out until I told you to come in side. And then you and your father would sneak out again anyway." Tamara said laughing. "I'd see that and think I must have done something right to have these two precious gifts."
"What was the hardest part?" Sam asked.
"When I knew I would never get to be with you again." Tamara said in such a soft voice Sam barely heard it.
"Oh god mom." Sam reached out and took her mothers hand.
"I'm sorry. I just remember it so clearly. I was not in any pain, and that's how I knew that something was wrong, I thought I should have been able to feel something. But I felt so light. It was when I saw myself laying on the road that I knew something was totally wrong. I tried to go to myself but I couldn't, it was my time. And I remember thinking, please just let you two be ok, that's all I ask. If I was a good enough person to allow me a lasting trait, it was that you and Mark would be safe."
Sam listened to her mother talk about the last moments of her life and felt and odd sense of remorse and comfort. She was sad that it happened, but it was comforting to know that it was not a horrible experience for her.
"I don't know if I am strong enough. Knowing what the colonel went through with Charlie, it seems like something I am not capable of." Sam said still holding her mothers hand tightly.
Before Sam could see anything she saw herself and Daniel walking along each holding the hand of a much younger Cassie. The two were swinging the girl as they walked along. Just as fast as it had appeared the image faded again.
"You have the ability in you Sam. You know it."
"No I really don't know." Sam said.
"Think back Sam. You locked yourself in a room with a child that you believed was going to kill you, just so she would not be alone. And you have been a wonderful influence on that girl. You have it in you Samantha." Tamara said.
Sam wiped a stray tear from her face. "So where are we now, I mean I know where this park is but what time are we in, what world?" Sam asked.
"Your world, present time." Tamara answered.
"So I could go and see the guys?" Sam asked.
"No, I'm sorry, you can't. This is something you need to do on your own Sam."
"So what next?" Sam asked. She heard her mother take a deep breath and prepare herself for the words to come out of her mouth.
"Washington DC, 1995." Tamara said.
"That was two years before I joined the Stargate program. What could you have to show me from then?" Sam paled as she put the place and time together.
"I'm sorry Sammy, I don't want to but I have to." Her mom almost whispered to her.
"No I won't go, you can not make me go through that again. I learned enough already!" Sam said getting up and walking away.
"Sam you have to, I don't want to but it is important that you learn all you can."
"There is nothing I can learn from going back there, nothing." She hissed.
"Baby, I was there the first time as well, I saw it, and the last ting I want to do it put you through it again but please believe me it is important."
"Don't expect me to look." Sam said as she took her mothers hand.
Shanks-Away
CaptainDoctor
"I love it here." Sam said to her mom. The two were in a park near Sam's house, both sitting on a swing. The two watched a group of children playing in a sandbox. Sam felt the familiar pang of envy, that she could only presume was caused by her biological clock ticking.
"You want one?" Tamara said.
"What?" Sam asked coming out of her dream.
"You want a child, or three..." Tamara said.
"God, I can't imagine. I always wondered how you did it. How you took something so helpless and fragile and made it into a person." Sam said.
"For some, it takes practice and for some lucky ones, it's a second nature." Tamara said.
"I have that same dream most women do. You hear women who talk about the strong connection between them and their child and that there is nothing like it. I think it would be pretty amazing." Sam said.
"It is." Tamara said reaching out and squeezing her arm softly.
"Did you ever think you could not do it?" Sam asked her mother.
"Sometimes. But then other times I thought it was something I was born to do. I would see they way your brother would be mesmerized by every truck he saw, or how you would lie on the grass and watch the stars come out until I told you to come in side. And then you and your father would sneak out again anyway." Tamara said laughing. "I'd see that and think I must have done something right to have these two precious gifts."
"What was the hardest part?" Sam asked.
"When I knew I would never get to be with you again." Tamara said in such a soft voice Sam barely heard it.
"Oh god mom." Sam reached out and took her mothers hand.
"I'm sorry. I just remember it so clearly. I was not in any pain, and that's how I knew that something was wrong, I thought I should have been able to feel something. But I felt so light. It was when I saw myself laying on the road that I knew something was totally wrong. I tried to go to myself but I couldn't, it was my time. And I remember thinking, please just let you two be ok, that's all I ask. If I was a good enough person to allow me a lasting trait, it was that you and Mark would be safe."
Sam listened to her mother talk about the last moments of her life and felt and odd sense of remorse and comfort. She was sad that it happened, but it was comforting to know that it was not a horrible experience for her.
"I don't know if I am strong enough. Knowing what the colonel went through with Charlie, it seems like something I am not capable of." Sam said still holding her mothers hand tightly.
Before Sam could see anything she saw herself and Daniel walking along each holding the hand of a much younger Cassie. The two were swinging the girl as they walked along. Just as fast as it had appeared the image faded again.
"You have the ability in you Sam. You know it."
"No I really don't know." Sam said.
"Think back Sam. You locked yourself in a room with a child that you believed was going to kill you, just so she would not be alone. And you have been a wonderful influence on that girl. You have it in you Samantha." Tamara said.
Sam wiped a stray tear from her face. "So where are we now, I mean I know where this park is but what time are we in, what world?" Sam asked.
"Your world, present time." Tamara answered.
"So I could go and see the guys?" Sam asked.
"No, I'm sorry, you can't. This is something you need to do on your own Sam."
"So what next?" Sam asked. She heard her mother take a deep breath and prepare herself for the words to come out of her mouth.
"Washington DC, 1995." Tamara said.
"That was two years before I joined the Stargate program. What could you have to show me from then?" Sam paled as she put the place and time together.
"I'm sorry Sammy, I don't want to but I have to." Her mom almost whispered to her.
"No I won't go, you can not make me go through that again. I learned enough already!" Sam said getting up and walking away.
"Sam you have to, I don't want to but it is important that you learn all you can."
"There is nothing I can learn from going back there, nothing." She hissed.
"Baby, I was there the first time as well, I saw it, and the last ting I want to do it put you through it again but please believe me it is important."
"Don't expect me to look." Sam said as she took her mothers hand.