Title: I Surrender

Summary: Buffy sits in her room when the song 'I Surrender' by Celine Dion comes on her radio; Her thoughts immediately go to Spike. Meanwhile, Spike sits in a club at the bar trying to drown out his sorrows when the same song song comes on the juke box. What their thoughts are on each other and how they deal with the pain of letting go. Post 'Chosen'.

Rating: PG

Spike took a seat at the bar and asked for some bourbon. He looked over to the dance floor. He remembered how he would watch Buffy from a corner as she danced with her palls. A song came on that he was all too familiar with. He hated it, though, because hearing it brought back floods of memories of her.

There's so much life I've left to live and this fire's burning still when I watch you look at me. I think I could find a way to stand for every dream and forsake this solid ground and give up this fear within of what would happen if they end, you, I'm in love with you.

Meanwhile, Buffy sat in her room as the same song came on her radio. She immediately thought about Spike as she listened to the words.

"Why did I treat him like that?" she asked herself as tears formed in her eyes.

'Cause I'd surrender everything to feel the chance, to live again. I reach to you. I know you can feel it too. We'd make it through a thousand dreams. I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me. I'd hold you in my arms and never let go. I surrender. I know, I can't survive another night away from you. You're the reason I go on and now I need to live the truth.

Spike took a gulp of the drink to try and dull the music but was unsuccessful. His mind was racing with thoughts of her, and it was getting hard to keep from loosing it. He wanted to ask for another glass, but the lump that had developed in his throat made it impossible to speak. The words brought forth new and old feelings. His eyes were trying there hardest to let out the tears, but his mind wouldn't allow that. So, he was stuck with the lump in his throat and a feeling like his heart was being crushed by some unseen hand.

Right now, there's no better time.From this fear, I will break free and I'll live again with love and know they can't take that away from me and they will see...yeah!

"I just couldn't let myself love him...he was-" she thought but then stopped mid-sentence.

Buffy's eyes suddenly turned hard and cold as she became angry with herself. She turned to face the mirror behind her and balled her hands into fists.

"Some glorious hero you are..." she spoke aloud, "You hurt the people who love you and then make excuses for it...it's always the same story over and over again but the truth is...You won't let yourself be happy."

(I'd surrender everything) To feel the chance, to live again. I reach to you, I know you can feel it too. We'd make it through a thousand dreams. I still believe, I'll make you give them all to me! I'll hold you in my arms and never let go. I surrender!

Spike slammed his glass down as the memories became unbearable. His swift action caught the attention of many sitting around him and of the bartender.

"Something wrong, sir?" he asked, approaching the blonde vampire.

Spike waved his the man away in reply, not looking up from his glass.

Right here, right now. I'd give my life to live again. I'll break free. Take me, my everything! I surrender all to you...(Right now) Right now! (I'd give my life to live again) I'd give my life... (I'll break free, Take me) Take me, take me! (my everything) My everything!

Buffy's head dropped and she sat onto her bed. She couldn't hold the tears inside anymore and soon lost the battle with herself to stay strong. Laying down, she hugged her pillow close to her chest.

Spike looked down and pushed the glass away. He stood and began to leave after nodding a goodbye to the bartender.

(I surrender all to you, right now) Right now...(I'd give my life to live again) I'd give my life to you baby...I'll break free, yeah free...

"I could go and see her," he thought to himself, "Surprize her...sweep her off her feet and live happilly ever after..." stops outside the door, "but seeing me would hurt her more than help her..." continues walking again, "So i'll just walk...and one day, I may just find where I'm heading to...and I'll be free."