The New Guy
Disclaimer: I am the walrus, coo coo ka joo.
A/N: I'm baaaacckkkkk… with a vengeance. Do not read the rest of these author's notes if you missed the first episode of the new season of Teen Titans. I just wanted to say how annoyed I am by the new season of Teen Titans. I had hoped that the people who thought Terra would betray the Titans, and especially those who wrote fics on the subject would be proven wrong. Well, guess who's doing the "I told you so" dance now, and here's a hint, it ain't me! Grumble, rant, rave, mutter…
Chapter 3: Test of Honor
"Titans! Trouble!" Robin rushed into the living room like his cape was on fire. His teammates were scattered about, involved in various wholesome and productive activities.
"FATALITY!" the Gamestation roared.
Spider-Man groaned, "Aw, man! You just ripped out my spleen and made me eat it!"
"I told you this game rocked!" Beast Boy answered, laughing out loud.
"Guys? Trouble means time to earn our pay, not time to dissect computer game characters."
"I thought we didn't get paid," Terra mused, not looking up from her rock-climbing magazine.
Cyborg set down his own magazine, which seemed primarily concerned with fast cars and scantily clad women. "So what's the score, Rob? Kitty stuck in a tree? Asteroid about to destroy all of Hoboken? Mimes have taken over the pizza parlor?"
"It's Fang." That little tidbit of information caught everyone's attention.
Starfire's jaw dropped. " Surely you do not mean the same Fang who you fought on that large sailing vessel! With Kitten…"
Terra had never encountered the being that called himself Fang, but had been told all about him. "You mean the guy with the- gross!"
Spider-Man was the only one left clueless. "Would anyone mind telling me who this Fang guy is and why you're all so worked up about him?"
None of the others were sure how Spider-Man would react to this villain. Therefore, they made the only reasonable choice:
"Uh… you'll see."
###########&&&&&##########
Just like the first time the Titans faced him, Fang was in the middle of a nighttime raid on a jewelry store. He had that same bizarre energy weapon at his hip, and a large bag plainly labeled as Loot in his hand. He turned, and found himself staring into the mask of the punk that had brought him in all those months ago. Arrayed around him were the other losers, plus that new blonde girl everyone was talking about in prison. Gaia, or something like that. The heroes created a rough semicircle around the thief, leaving him with a wall to his back.
Robin kept his tone light, his words conversational. "Hey, Fang! Long time no see! What have you been up to?"
The spider-headed freak replied in the same tone, but his voice sounded like he had a throat full of gravel. Probably because of the unnatural form of his mouth. Or maybe he smoked. "I've been pretty busy, what with jail and all. I just stepped out to pick up a few things. Next stop: dry cleaning."
"Oh, really? We were hoping you'd hang around for awhile, meet our newest teammates."
Fang didn't seem to notice the plural attached to that last statement. "Sorry, but I'm busy." He began to scale the wall behind him with the massive appendages growing from his head. "I have a lot more errands to run, and the night is still young."
"And you're stttiiilll ugly!" Three guesses who that was, and the first two don't count. Fang whipped around, and found that there was someone clinging to the wall above him, cutting off what he had thought was the one escape route the Titans had overlooked. "Get it? You said the night's still young, and I said you're still ugly! It's funny because it's true!"
Robin smiled as Fang realized that he was now outnumbered seven to one, and the seventh could fight on Fang's own terms. "You've probably already heard of Terra, here, but please allow me to introduce Spider-Man."
The arachnid-powered hero studied the arachnid-headed villain. "And who are you supposed to be? The mascot for jumbo economy-sized cans of Raid?"
Fang gave a low burbling growl. "Cheap, pathetic, badly costumed rip-off…" He punctuated the comment with a blast of the web goo that had caused the Titans so much trouble in the past.
Spider-Man dodged with ease, flipping through the air and returning fire with his own webbing. "Aw, now that's not nice! Who are you calling badly costumed?" He landed on his feet, but Fang had dodged the return fire. "You are like the poster boy for everything I do not want to be when I grow up."
The two stared at each other, the other Titans waiting for someone to make the first move. Rather than leap into attack or draw his weapon, Fang hissed something softly. "You do know what this means, right?"
Spider-Man's reply was just as soft. "Yeah…"
"There's a warehouse at the end of the street. Nice, wide roof. Two minutes."
"I'm there." With that, Fang quickly scaled the side of the building and disappeared, Spider-Man making no move to stop him.
The other Titans were completely confused now. Beast Boy expressed their collective thoughts quite succinctly: "What the heck was that?! Why are you letting him get away?!"
"I'm not. He'll be on the warehouse roof. His own ego means he won't try to escape now."
"Huh?"
"There can only be one. This is a matter of professional pride for us. Listen, I know this whole thing sounds stupid, but please don't interfere. Not until I've had my ass kicked so hard I can't fight anymore, at least." Without waiting for an answer, the webslinger leapt to the side of a building, fired off a webline, and swung away.
"Spider-Man!" Robin called. The wall-crawler stopped against a wall and looked back at his boss. "The warehouse is that way."
"…I knew that."
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Spider-Man alighted softly on the warehouse roof, scanning warily for the distinctive outline of his opponent. He might be waiting for the chance to strike from the shadows, but no, Fang was in plain sight in the middle of the roof.
"Didn't think you had the guts to show up." The villain growled.
"Don't flatter yourself, eight eyes, you're not the only ugly thief I've taken down. Although, I have to hand it to you, you take the prize for the most disgusting son-of-a-something-or-other I have ever seen!"
The other Titans arrived on the rooftop, a few still confused as to what was going on. Actually, only Beast Boy was confused. He glanced back and forth between his new friend and old enemy. "What are they doing?!"
Terra gave a little sigh of mock exasperation, but was grinning the whole time. He's so cute when he's being a total yutz. "It's a duel, dingleberry."
Robin was trying to decide whether he should put a stop to this foolishness or not, but his own sense of honor won out. "Two spider-mutants on opposite sides of the law. This oughta be good." Beast Boy burst out into a smile and whispered something in Cyborg's ear. The mechanical mechanic grinned and nodded along, preparing to employ his diminutive partner's suggestion.
Spider-Man and Fang stood there a moment, ten feet or so between them, sizing each other up. Fang snarled at his goody-two-shoes counterpart. "There isn't room in this town for both of us!"
"You sound like some old Western movie, you know that, don't you?" They stood there for a moment longer, Fang's hands at his side, prepared for a quick draw. Tensions rose to the breaking point. Something had to give. And then, out of nowhere, without any warning whatsoever-
They could hear the showdown music from any number of old Clint Eastwood/John Wayne films. Y'know, do-dee-do-dee-dooo…wa wa waaaa... Wow, it's harder to type that sort of thing than I thought!
Spider-Man straightened up and shot a pained look at Cyborg (not that anyone could tell). "Please don't tell me you have an MP3 player built in-" He was cut off as Fang used his foe's lapse in attention to snap off a shot from his weapon. Spidey flipped over the burst of energy and jammed the weapon with a return shot of webbing. Unfortunately, Fang wasn't dumb enough to try and fire his befouled weapon, instead casting it aside.
Fang lunged forward, stabbing at Spider-Man with two spindly legs. The response was immediate, as Spider-Man hopped out of the first limb's path and lunged under the second to deliver a wicked uppercut. The blow slammed into the mutant's armored exoskeleton, stunning him far less then a normal human would have been. A third leg snapped forward, and Spidey was forced to leap back and get some distance. Fang vaulted upward, seeking to surround his annoying counterpart with massive spidery limbs. The hero would have none of that; he rolled forward and tried to pin the legs to the roof with webbing. Fang snapped free before enough could be piled on, and the battle raged as the other Titans watched, cheering, whooping, and making sideline bets.
As Spider-Man found his rhythm in the fight, he resumed his mockery of his foe, inciting wilder attacks and unplanned assaults.
"Y'know, I can see why you're pissed at the world. I bet when you were born, the doctor slapped your mama." A massive glob of web-spit threatened to cut Spidey short, but he dodged and countered with a roundhouse that doubled Fang over. "And it has to be annoying, always looking over your shoulder, on the lookout for gigantic birds searching for their next meal. Lemme guess: you couldn't watch Sesame Street as a kid, because Big Bird scared you."
Fang was getting angry at Spider-Man's refusal to take the fight seriously, and it showed. He was putting more strength and less finesse into his punches, all of his attention focused on one singular, solitary goal, the same objective of every thug, crook, or villain Spidey had ever fought: making the putz in the tights shut the hell up. "But that doesn't mean you need to get all uppity, ripping off jewelry stores and whatnot." A leg speared out, a lucky shot slicing a tiny rip along Spidey's arm. He ignored the flesh wound. "After all, you could make a killing as the star of a sideshow!"
Fang slashed sideways with one leg, then another, then a third. Spider-Man ducked the first by leaning back into a limbo, bunny-hopped the second, and caught the third tightly under his arm. He swung Fang around once, the mutant's limbs flailing madly, before flinging him into the wall of a taller building on the other side of an alley. "Or you could sell photos of yourself to a costume company to give them ideas!" Fang gathered himself up, clinging to the side of the building instead of dropping to the street. He launched a massive wad of gray goop from his wide-stretched maw, but his preternaturally quick foe once again dodged the blast.
Beast Boy wasn't so lucky. "Ew! Again with the super loogie!"
Fang uncoiled his massive legs, springing at Spider-Man at breakneck speed. He made no attempt to attack, instead trying to grapple with the hero, which was a really bad idea in and of itself. Spider-Man was capable of bench-pressing dump trucks. Fang could not possibly win such a contest of strength, but he didn't know that, and he had something else in mind anyway. Spider-Man kept the match even, not to toy with his foe, but because he didn't want to inadvertently hurt Fang. Y'know, too much.
"But you just need to accept it eventually, buddy…" Spidey began to slowly increase the strength he put into his duel. Fang was slowly but surely forced down and back, to his knees. "You're just no match for your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!"
The twinned dental apparatuses that gave Fang his name began to drip with some unidentifiable liquid, which almost seemed to glow a sickly purple. He looked up at the immensely strong hero standing above him, and made the attack that he was sure would win the duel for the forces of evil. Because after all, he reasoned, evil shall always prevail, because Good is dumb. (If you don't get that reference, rent Space Balls, one of Mel Brooks' greatest movies).
A tingle at the back of his neck. That was all the warning Spider-Man needed to dodge the spray of what could only be venom that was launched from Fang's oversized namesakes, jerking his head back at nearly a ninety-degree angle. The paralytic toxin passed mere inches from Spidey's face, arcing neatly back down to fall toward the other Titans. Terra was the unfortunate chosen by fate to be frozen in place, but she lucked out as Cyborg's hand snapped out sideways, catching the toxin in his metallic palm. The goo gummed up his hand a bit, but he seemed none the worse for wear.
Spidey decided it was time to end this. He snapped his head forward, smashing Fang with a powerful head-butt. The villain reeled backwards, clutching at his "face". Spidey shook off the impact, then strode purposefully towards his stunned enemy. "And now I'm going to show you how we do things back in Manhattan." Spider-Man cracked his knuckles, drew back his arm, and waited for Fang to move his hands off of his head and see what was waiting for him. Whack! Bam! Thud! Right cross, left hook, uppercut. Fang staggered back, at least half of his many eyes closed. The other half slowly dimmed, and the villain slumped to the roof in a dead faint.
##########&&&&&##########
Spider-Man opened the window leading into the Tower's living room, and was greeted with a cheer. The Titans had decided a mini-celebration was in order (as if a group of teens needed a reason to party) and a dozen pizza boxes were stacked in the kitchen (the fact that they weren't empty is what made this unusual).
After the obligatory wolfing of pizza and guzzling of soda (Terra: Why bother to wear a mask if you lift it to eat anyway? Spider-Man: I can see the wanted posters now. "Suspect described as a Caucasian male with a chin.") things calmed down a bit. Robin spoke up, something that had been bugging him now prompting him to ask. "Thanks for taking Fang and the jewels to the police, but what did you mean when you said this was a great chance to make your presence known in town? Did you talk to the Chief, or something?"
Spidey grinned, the action revealed by his raised mask. "Or something." After all, they'd doubtless see it on the morning news.
##########&Meanwhile…&##########
"Hey, detective! What do you make of this?"
The officer looked up, glad for a distraction from the tedious deskwork the transfer from New York had confined him to. The rookie that had called him was standing at the Police Department's front doors, staring slack-jawed at something outside. The detective plodded to window, muttering curses directed at the midnight shift, the bosses that assigned him to it, and whatever damn fool had broken the station's Mr. Coffee. He glanced out the window, only half interested in whatever had gotten the new kid so riled up.
A massive spider web was stretched between two streetlights, silken threads the size of strands of yarn glistening in the dim light. It would have taken an arachnid the size of a Buick to craft such a web, but there it was. And as if that weren't enough, there was someone dangling from the web's center, upside down and wrapped up tight. It looked like the aforementioned car-sized spider was eating his head, but a second look revealed the thing on the web to be the escaped convict Fang. The spidery legs were stretched out on the web, two up, and two down, like a normal spider at rest. Framed by the lower two legs, spelled neatly and clearly enough to make Charlotte herself proud, the word LOSER was written in stretched webbing.
Detective Lamont spent about two seconds wondering what the hell he was doing dealing with another spider-freak halfway across the country, another two wondering what the idiot was playing at hanging around the police station, and two more to realize that Fang most likely hadn't done this to himself. As the rookie grabbed a small sack that was crammed with (presumably) stolen jewels, Lamont took a few unsteady steps towards the criminal. There was a piece of paper stuck to Fang's bulbous head.
Fang stirred and awoke, eight eyes blinking open. "What the hell are you staring at?!" he snarled, straining against his silver bonds. The rookie jumped, but Lamont ignored the crook and pulled the paper off of his head. "Ouch!"
It couldn't be. It just freakin' couldn't be! Lamont thought he had left situations like this behind when he left the Big Apple! But there was only one person or creature that left criminals strung up like flies in a web, and Lamont was holding his calling card.
Courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Teen Titans and their newest member, Spider-Man!
##########&A few hours later&##########
The party had ended, and all of the Titans had resumed their usual late-night goofing off routines. Or at least most of the Titans.
Beast Boy had been planning payback for the "webbed to the ceiling" incident for days, now. His preparations were finally complete. He dragged the huge rubber band into place, checked that the tripwire was taut, and turned to his captive audience.
Raven, Terra, and Starfire watched, thoroughly unimpressed. Yes, it was the same plan that had once before resulted in Star getting hit with a balloon filled with motor oil, a balloon meant for Cyborg, but BB claimed to have learned from his past mistakes.
Raven gave a faint sigh. "Why will this trap be any more effective this time?"
Beast Boy's grin stretched from ear to ear. "Why, I'm glad you asked! See, before I forgot that somebody other than the target could set off the trap, so this time, Cy is going to call me when webhead comes this way! With the three of you here and Robin in the workout room, nothing can go wrong!" No sooner had he placed a balloon loaded with chocolate pudding into the cradle of the rubber band then his communicator beeped. "He's coming? Perfect!"
He ducked behind the machine, attempting to stifle a giggle. A red-booted foot appeared around the corner, the rest of Spider-Man soon following. "I'm not saying Mad Mod wasn't dangerous, I'm just saying he sounds like an evil Wizard of Oz. 'Pay no attention to the little man behind the cur-'" He stepped on the tripwire. The balloon launched. Spider-Man, suddenly panicked by his spider-sense flaring, leapt to the ceiling and allowed himself to cling there. And the person Spidey had been talking to rounded the corner just in time to catch the balloon in the face.
You see, Cyborg didn't know exactly what BB's plan was, so he didn't know to mention that Robin was with Spider-Man.
Robin lay slumped against the wall, stunned and covered in pudding. Spidey took a flash take on what had just transpired, and burst out laughing. He straightened up (or down, in this case) and met Beast Boy eye to mask. As it happened, their heights combined were a little taller then the hallway, so Spider-Man standing on the ceiling put their heads the same height above the floor. "Sorry, man, but you need to get up pretty early in the morning to get the best of me! And by the way, I suggest you start running before our fearless leader gets up."
Beast Boy's defeated look evaporated into a glare he shot over his shoulder, as if daring the girls to say a word. The glare became a grin as he turned back to Spider-Man. "At least I'll get the last laugh." He pulled a small remote device from his pocket, and thumped the button on it. At the end of the hall, behind Spider-Man, a panel slid open. Another balloon launcher fired from its hidden compartment, winging its way toward the back of Spidey's head with unerring accuracy. The wall-crawler sensed it coming and quickly bowed a full ninety degrees, and the balloon continued along its path to wipe the grin off Beast Boy's face.
"Not early enough." Spidey glanced back at Robin, who had stood up and was now advancing on Beast Boy with his staff hidden behind his back. BB wasn't fooled. He took off running, Robin in hot pursuit. Cyborg stepped around the corner just in time to watch two of his friends, coated in chocolate, disappear down the end of the hall. "Shoulda known he's foul this up."
"Shall we aid friend Beast Boy in escaping Robin's anger?"
Terra smiled, and shook her head. "Nah, he'll be fine. Robin won't hurt him too bad."
Spider-Man hopped back to the floor, landing easily on his feet. "And whatever happens to him, he'll be getting his just desserts."
Even Star glared at him for that pun. "What? Pudding! Desserts! It's funny!"
##########&&&&&##########
A/N: I am so P.O.'ed right now. Two ideas I had for this story's later chapters, and both get used on one episode! The rock golems Terra created to fight for her, I thought of that back in this story's planning stages! And I was gonna have someone bring Robin's time as Slade's lackey back up, just like BB did in Aftershock Pt. 1! Oh, well. In any case, I want to point something out. I started this fic before the episode Betrayal, believing Terra was a permanent addition. I will continue along that path.
Now that that rant is out of the way, thanks for the reviews! I haven't yet received a negative response, and plenty of positive, which makes me a happy camper. Now, I don't plan on doing this very often, but I feel the need to respond to a few of these reviews. Answer questions, explain stuff, y'know. I'm not doing it for everyone or every chapter, I don't have the patience.
Legend Maker: Thank you. I understand your position on he whole 'multiple universes' schmear, but I prefer to think that if they can coexist, they should. There is nothing (besides corporate loyalty) that makes these two worlds entirely different, they could easily coexist. There is a New York City, the continents are in the same position, nothing exclusive to either world but the cities fabricated by DC comics. Portals just seem too convenient to me, unless the worlds are entirely different. I'm sorry, but I like it better this way, and I can't please everyone.
X-Over: Thank you. Now that's a thought… bolstering the H.A.E.Y.P…. But Slade doesn't control the H.A.E.Y.P. directly, they're mercenaries. Eddie Brock , Hive agent… Rhino, Sandman, and Scorpion are too old for the H.A.E.Y.P, though.
Thanks again, everyone!