The New Guy
Disclaimer: Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
A/N: Once more unto the breach, dear friends! I'm back! By the way, I have a message for X-over: Dammmmnnnn… you reviewed Chp. 3 within ten minutes of me posting it! Now that's service! Another by the way, Lamont wasn't an OC. He has appeared a number of times in Spider-Man's comics, and I've seen his presence in several fics in the Spider-Man section. I thought it might be interesting for him to be around, though he won't show up often.
Okay, new business: This chapter is gonna be a long one. Maybe long enough to split into two, but I doubt it. Spidey and the Titans will finally fight side-by-side this chapter, no more one-man-army heroics. For now.
Chapter 4: Test of Loyalty
The next morning saw Robin leaving the exercise room grinning broadly and whistling a happy tune. This combined with the fact that no one had seen Beast Boy since the pudding incident lead to general concern among the other Titans. A swift investigation found no trace of the changeling until they unzipped the exercise room's punching bag.
"Remind me not to get on Fearless Leader's bad side."
As this excitement wound down, normal morning routine once again established itself as the dominant factor. At least, until Robin turned on the news.
"-report that the escaped and highly dangerous convict Fang was captured and returned to custody late last night by the combined efforts of the Teen Titans and an unknown individual known as Spider-Man…"
"Guys! Check it out!"
"…who may or may not be the same vigilante often reported in the area of New York City. We now bring you exclusive footage of Fang's arrest by city police." The anchorwoman disappeared for a moment, to be replaced by poorly shot camcorder footage of… well, if you don't know, you should have read chapter 3!
Spider-Man grinned at the fish-out-of-water looks plastered on his teammate's faces. Even Raven was astounded by what she was seeing.
Beast Boy and Cyborg burst into gales of laughter, Terra and Star giggled uncontrollably, and Robin barely managed to choke out "'Or something', huh?"
"I call it 'Bad Guy in Repose'." Spidey shrugged. "I may not know art, but I know what I like."
The anchorwoman reappeared. "The escaped criminal was found this way in front of the Police Station, with a short handwritten note glued to his forehead with the same web-like material that held him captive. The note reportedly read as follows:
Courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Teen Titans and their newest member, Spider-Man!
If this Spider-Man is indeed a new addition to our local heroes organization, what does this mean for us? We now take you to our New York contact, for a few Man-on-the-Street interviews."
Spidey groaned as they led in an introduction for the interviews. "This ought to be fun. Half of Manhattan hates my guts!" The interviews began before anyone could ask why.
"Spider-Man is a menace! If he's gone to your town, it's your loss and our gain!"
"You mean he's gone? Thank God! I know I'll sleep better at night now!"
"He's nothing but a no-good freak in tights!"
"He isn't real. The tabloids made him up as a publicity stunt."
"I saw him kill a cop!" That guy's buddy quickly spoke up. "Dude, that was a Spidey imposter! The real Spider-Man caught him and beat the hell out of him!" "One Spider-Freak is as good as the next, for all I care."
The other Titans were starting to wonder if they had, in a manner of speaking, welcomed in a dog that wasn't house-trained.
"Dude, Spidey rocks! He be da shiz-nit in da house!" (The fact that it was some lame-o white guy with baggy pants around his knees, too much jewelry, and his hat on backwards that said that completely neutered the support.)
The next interviewee was a young woman, nearly in tears and attempting to hold on to a squirming toddler. "Spider-Man dove into the fifth floor of a burning building and pulled my baby out without letting him get so much as a scratch. I don't care what anyone else says, Spider-Man is a saint to me."
Thus began the tide of Spidey supporters.
"He saved my wife from a mugger."
"He caught the punk who robbed my shop."
"He stopped an armored car robbery! I saw him! And when it was all over, the guard panicked and begged him just to take the money and go, and the dude just left! Sacks of cash, and he just left!" ("Actually," Spidey muttered, "I made a joke about it not matching my wardrobe, then I left.")
"He stopped a gang war! Just beat the snot out of a dozen thugs from three different gangs before the rest ran off!
There were another dozen or so interviews, alternating from supportive, to hateful, to apathetic, to disbelieving. After it was over, the Titans looked at their new friend appreciatively. They hadn't realized how much he had done until now.
The anchorwoman reappeared. "We now present the famed duel between Spider-Man and the deranged scientist, Dr. Otto Octavius, also known as Dr. Octopus. This is a re-broadcast of what was originally live footage…"
While the reporter droned on, Cyborg turned to Spider-Man. "What the hell kinda name is Dr. Octopus?"
"…You'll see."
(A/N: This scene is a paraphrased version of my favorite chapter of Ultimate Spider-Man. My thanks and apologies to the fine men and women who produce such excellent work.)
The video began with a scene that looked like a classic press conference. It was night, there was some sort of high-tech lab facility in the background, and a dozen reporters crowded around the man standing on the stairs leading up to the lab's main entrance. This poor sorry fashion victim had brown hair in a pudding-bowl cut, a green jumpsuit, and was wearing dark glasses despite the lateness of the hour. He was broad in the shoulder, and looked fairly strong, but was a bit pudgy around the middle. All in all, he looked fairly average.
Y'know. If it wasn't for the four tentacles formed from what appeared to be some wild alloy of living metal that extended from a device surrounding his torso. "I think I understand now." Cyborg said, sounding rather queasy.
The tentacles writhed as if by their own accord as the good doctor made a bombastic speech to the gathered news teams. He announced that he was going to reveal the truth about a man who had, through betrayal and deceit, turned an honest man of science into the twisted horror before them. Justin Hammer, a billionaire in the high technology industry, was the reason Octavius had this ghastly machine embedded in his flesh. And right on cue, Mr. Hammer's limo pulled up through the facility's gates.
As the crews turned their cameras to the limo, a sign could be seen over the gate that established the location as Hammer Industries. "Come out, Hammer!" A tentacle stretched over the reporters' heads to tap with surprising gentleness on the limo's windshield. "Come out and let them see the true monster!"
The limo peeled out, going as fast as the driver could manage in reverse. It wasn't fast enough. The tentacle smashed through the bulletproof glass of the windshield like it was tissue paper. The cameras didn't show any gore, otherwise they couldn't show the film on TV, but it was obvious that the tentacle had punched straight through the driver's chest. A woman's scream pierced the night as a second tentacle curled under the limo, and it rose into the air. Octavius strode past the gathered reporters, his other two tentacles walking for him as he hovered ten feet above the ground. Octavius kept yelling threats and curses to Hammer and his cowardice, until a wad of shining silver liquid speared out of nowhere and plastered to Doc Oc's shades.
"Show time," the real Spider-Man said from his seat on the couch. On the screen, Spidey swung into view with a punch and a witty remark. He proceeded to pretty much turn Oc into his own personal set of monkey bars, making the errant scientist look like a fool as he attempted to swat the annoying pest that refused to leave him alone.
A reporter managed to find her voice, and started… well, reporting. She pointed out repeatedly that Spider-Man had once again come to the rescue of Justin Hammer, who had been so hostile to him in the press, and that he was putting all of his effort into keeping Octavius away from the gathered reporters with no regard to his own safety.
Octavius managed to flick the right tentacle, sending Spidey careening into the side of a news van with enough force to crater the metal, right in mid-taunt. "C'mon, you don't have to be a mad scientist! You could rent yourself out as a children's ride, you don't have to be all pi-ooooofffff!" He jumped up immediately and resumed the fight, twisting around gouts of flame projected by one of the tentacles. ("Stupid upgrades…" the real Spidey muttered.) Another tentacle revealed some kind of high-caliber automatic weapon mounted at the end, and spat lead death. "Well, yikes, and all that. I didn't know you could open fire, now did I?"
The fight progressed quickly after that. Spidey kept dodging, but eventually, Oc managed to catch him, and bound him in place with a pair of tentacles giving a bone-crushing bear hug. A third tentacle took position a few feet before his face, giving off a distorted reflection of his red mask. Twin electrodes appeared on each side of the tentacle, and they sparked into life with enough juice to stun a bull elephant.
Back in Titan's Tower, Terra and Starfire had their hands clamped over their mouths, willing themselves not to scream. The others appeared mesmerized by the events unfolding on the screen.
Octavius was ranting again. "I am not the monster other men would make me!" The electrified arm moved closer to the masked hero's face. He clamped his feet on each side of the tentacle, a futile attempt to stop its progression. "I am a visionary! I am the future!" Mere inches left. Doc Oc's voice was clouded by rage and hate, he was almost intelligible. "I am in control of my own Destiny!"
Spider-Man's voice rang out clear as a bell. "Good for you. I, on the other hand, am barely in control of my own bladder." A double spray of webbing coated the arm.
A man of science such as Dr. Otto Octavius, were he not embroiled in mortal combat, might have been interested to discover that webbing conducts electricity.
As all eight limbs of Doctor Octopus flailed, Spider-Man was whip-lashed out and sent flying to who knows where. Octavius shook his head to clear away the last traces of pain, then advanced upon the wrecked limo once more. "What now, Hammer? Your little pet spider is gone! Come and face me!"
A string of webbing appeared on screen. It attached itself to the crotch of Octavius' jumpsuit, and his pants were suddenly around his ankles. He hurriedly yanked them back up, then stared at something off-camera with a look of dawning comprehension and mounting horror.
"Tighty Whities?" WHUMP!!! Spider-Man appeared on screen and swung into a mule kick, right in Oc's gut. "Well, that explains everything." Spider-Man decked the good doctor, a clean right hook to the jaw. Octavius momentarily lost control of his mechanical arms, and the pair dropped like stones. Spidey twisted so that Oc was underneath when they hit, and the impact was enough to leave cracks in the asphalt. A blast of webbing from both barrels pinned Oc to the ground by the head.
Spider-Man grabbed a tentacle at its base, and pulled with all of his considerable might. A few tense seconds later, there was a sound of tearing metal. The arm was completely detached. A howl of pain echoed from the shell of spider webs that coated Octavius' head, the sound of a soul having a piece of itself torn away. The remaining arms flailed spastically, then dropped as Octavius finally passed out. The film ended. (If you read Ultimate Spider-Man, then you know that at this point Kraven the Hunter shows up and then Spidey gives his first real interview. But I thought this had gone on long enough, don't you?)
The Titans turned and stared openly at Spider-Man, who in turn stared at the screen as the anchorwoman began a lead-in for the next story, something about brussels sprouts actually being a deadly toxin, or something. No one said anything for a few minutes. Finally, Spidey broke the silence. "Wanna know what's ironic? That was the high point of my career so far. People were finally beginning to realize that I'm one of the good guys. But the thing is, it was nearly midnight by the time I finished up there, and Hammer Industries is in New Jersey. It was 3 AM when I walked in the door back home in Queens, and I was so grounded it wasn't even funny. Go figure, huh?"
##########&Later that night&##########
The Titans stood waiting on the roof of a building in the warehouse district. Robin was studying the scene below with a small set of powerful binoculars. An armored car was idling in front of one of the nondescript storage buildings, but it carried the mark of no bank. Armored figures that clearly were not security guards or workers were loading containment units into the van, but the only label on the industrial drums were painfully bright biohazard markings.
Two of Slade's hench-bots were standing guard, lifeless eyes scanning the alley for any signs of life. The other two worked tirelessly to load the trucks with hazardous chemicals. Robin reflected on Spider-Man's earlier comments upon seeing a map of the city, and his own response. "A museum, a harbor, dozens of large banks, a federal penitentiary, heavy industry, warehouses, chemical plants… how many potential targets does this city have?" "Why do you think the Titans were founded here?"
Robin considered his options, knowing his team was itching for action. They could easily take on four of these bots, and many more besides, but they needed information. Why did Slade want these chemicals? Were there reinforcements waiting? Was this a massive trap?
The Boy Wonder turned away from his target to address his team. "Okay, this looks way too easy. It must be some kind of ambush. Slade isn't dumb enough to think these four measly robots could get away, so he's gotta be planning something. On the other hand, we can't let him get those barrels, and the only way to be sure it is a trap is to enter it. Here's what we do…"
Suddenly, Robin's deliberations were all rendered moot. A patrol car pulled around the corner, and the officers within began bellowing orders to the Slade-bots to lie down on the ground with their hands on their heads. The response was a laser blast shattering their windshield. The van's armored rear doors swung shut, and the four robots began their escape with their ill-gotten booty.
"Okay, new plan. Cyborg, get your car. Everyone else, after them. Keep civilians out of the way. I want Raven to stop it telekinetically; any impacts might blow up whatever was in those barrels. Clear? Good. Titans, go!"
Within a minute and a half, the plan was in full swing. So was Spider-Man, as a matter of fact. He demonstrated his worth as he threw people out of the armored car's path, launching blasts of non-sticky webbing to cushion their falls. Starfire, Beast Boy, and Terra helped people in their own ways, but to their collective distress Raven had learned that the vehicle was somehow shielded against her powers. The only way for her to stop it would be to hit it with something, which was too great a risk.
The T-car pulled up behind the van, Cyborg expertly matching the robots' every move. Robin was perched on the car's roof. The others explained the problem to him, and after a moment, he started giving orders. "Okay, new new plan. Girls, keep it up. Beast Boy, with me. I want Cyborg to blow the doors off, and then we're going in. At the same time, Spider-Man gets to the driver, disables him, and stops the van."
"Uh, boss man?"
"I don't think a low power shot will set off the barrels, okay? If it's anything else, it can wait!"
Spider-Man sighed. "Whatever you say, Fearless Leader."
Stage one of the plan went off without a hitch. The same could be said for the rear doors of the armored car. The T-car's proton cannon shattered them quite nicely, thanks to Cyborg's excellent marksmanship. Beast Boy swept into the van as an eagle, quickly changing into a gorilla.
Robin used a grapple to reel himself into the compartment, which, filled as it was with three robots, a half-dozen barrels, a great ape, and now Bird Boy himself, was a bit cramped to say the least. Spider-Man swung down as the van passed an intersection, smashing through the driver-side window with a kick that crushed the driving robot against the passenger door. He grabbed the steering wheel, and waved jauntily to the myriad passengers behind him. "So, where can I drop you off?"
The van swerved crazily as an all-out war erupted in the back. "Don't you make me come back there!"
"Shut up and stop the damn truck!" Robin barked. Beast Boy managed to throw one of the robots out the back, and noted Cyborg's amused expression as he used the T-car's windshield wipers to peel the robot off of his auto.
"Oh, all right. You don't need to get snippy about it. Which one's the brake?" Robin stopped fighting long enough to shoot a horrified 'you better be joking' expression to Spider-Man. "You may not find this reassuring, but I don't even have a learner's permit yet."
"What?!"
"Hey, what do you think I was trying to tell you a minute ago?" The van suddenly shot forward, it's speed nearly doubling. "Yaaaahhh! Found the gas! I can figure out the other one." The van didn't slow down. "Okay, maybe I can't. There's only one more pedal, but it isn't doing anything!"
Robin smashed in the head of the second robot, then turned to his chauffeur. "Try the emergency brake!"
There was a loud SNAP! "It broke."
"Turn off the engine!"
"There's no keys!"
Robin was getting desperate. Inspiration struck with the force of a thunderbolt, and he grabbed his communicator. "Cyborg! We can't stop it! Use your grapple arm!"
The reaction was immediate, as the half-robot reached out his window and fired his hand off like it was a cannonball. As the hand reached the armored car, it dug its grip into the metal framework, and the tri-steel cable tethering it to his arm started to reel itself back in. Both the T-car and the van slowly came to a halt. The larger truck's wheels continued to spin, smoke lazily rising from the tires and the rank odor of burning rubber filling the air. Terra formed a spike of asphalt beneath the truck, and used it to shatter the axle.
Spidey glanced at the third hench-bot. When the van had stopped, it had been pitched over the seats and smashed its head into the windshield, a true testament to the value of seatbelts. "So, that's ten bucks per mile, plus tip. Thank you for choosing the Red-n-Blue Cab Corporation, we're always on call."
Robin and Beast Boy stumbled out of the back of the truck, fighting the urge to revisit their dinners. As the Boy Wonder's head cleared, he stomped up to his driver, ready to rip him a new one for not knowing how to use a stupid brake pedal, but stopped as he saw a TV screen rise out of the dashboard. The other Titans crowded around, jockeying for position to see the tiny screen.
The screen flickered into life, presenting an image of Slade. Not like the Titans had expected anyone else. "Excellent work, Titans. Stopping an armored car with the brake lines cut, the emergency brake halfway sawed through, and the key snapped off with the engine running, all without setting off the potentially hazardous chemicals stowed in the back. Of course, those drums contain mere tap water, but how could you have known that?"
"What's this about, Slade?!" Robin growled from behind clenched teeth.
"I simply wished to test how well your new comrade fit in as one of you. Spider-Man, isn't it? You have great experience as a vigilante, but how would you handle teamwork?" Slade slowly shook his head. "Alas, I was disappointed. Against the agents of the H.A.E.Y.P., you stood alone. When Fang attacked, you allowed honor to overwhelm common sense. But now…"
"Stuff it, tall, dark, and creepy." Spider-Man pointed an accusing finger at the miniscule figure on the screen. "You send out your crappy-ass robots to put us on a wild goose chase, and then say it was all a test?" He jabbed his finger toward the screen. "I only have one thing to say to you, slappy: You are not pleasant to be around."
Slade moved a hand to cover his heart, and spoke in a tone so dry and devoid of emotion that he could have given Raven lessons. "I have been skewered. I will now take the next seventy-two hours to reevaluate my life. Farewell, Titans. Until next battle."
There was a moment's silence, before Spidey spoke up. "So, is this Slade guy one of those really annoying bad guys who's plans are so convoluted, you can never be sure if you've won or somehow advanced one of his schemes?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"I have a trace on his signal." Cyborg studied the data screen constructed within his arm. "Just a few miles from here."
"A trap," Raven grated.
Robin nodded. "But we can't pass up a lead like this. Titans, move out."
##########&&&&&##########
Five miles, one tunnel, an elevator down into the bowels of the Earth, another tunnel, and three more miles later, the Titans found themselves within sight of the entrance to Slade's hidden citadel (One of many. He had a persuasive real estate agent.). Beast Boy took a step forward, impatient now that he was within a mere hundred feet of their greatest foe, but he was stopped by Spider-Man.
"Wait. Spider-senses… tingling. Danger… too great. Must… talk like…Captain Kirk."
"Do you come with subtitles?"
"He's getting a bad feeling about this last hall."
"Yeah, what Raven said." Spidey added. "There hasn't been any security so far, but I'm really getting the feeling we shouldn't go in there."
"Don't tell me you're chickening out now!"
"Hello? Remember me? The guy who can sense danger from a distance? All I'm saying is that I'm picking up some really bad mojo from that hall."
Cyborg's cybernetic eye cycled through several different colors, before returning to its normal red. "He's right, guys. I just did a full spectrum analysis. There's more traps in that stretch of hallway then I can count."
Robin crouched down, a few devices revealing themselves to his trained eye. "This from the walking calculator. What are we up against?"
"A better question would be 'what aren't we up against?' There's trap doors, laser tripwires, regular tripwires, cameras, motion sensors, heat sensors, pressure sensors, mines, sentry guns, fletchete launchers, deadfalls, and a few things I can't even identify."
Robin studied the hall some more, mulling over his options. "Terra?"
"The walls are three feet of solid steel. I can't burrow a new tunnel."
"Raven?"
"The walls are inlaid with the same shields as the truck. I can't rip them apart."
"Beast Boy?"
"I don't think anything bigger than a flea could get through there without setting something off, and we don't have that kind of time."
Robin studied some more. Cyborg helpfully added, "I've run the physics. It's impossible to make it through there without setting off at least five traps."
The leader of the Teen Titans straightened up, a resigned sigh escaping his lips. "Well, boys and girls, I am officially open to suggestions. What do we do?"
Spider-Man stepped forward, and stretched like he was preparing for a workout. "We improvise."
Robin caught on a second before the others. "Don't you dare."
"Too late." Spider-Man launched himself through the doorway, and into a deadly obstacle course.
To Be Continued…
Gotcha!!!!!
Thought I was going to leave this in a cliffhanger, huh? I hate those stupid things, so I avoid them whenever I can! You should have seen the look on your face… I wish I could have.
Spider-Man launched himself through the doorway, and into a deadly obstacle course. Alarms blared. Panels flipped open. Laser targeters lit him up brighter than a Christmas tree. The air was filled with flame, smoke, shrapnel, bullets, darts, and an inconceivable number of other weapons did their level best to reduce the suicidal hero to a smoking pool of grease. Sensations ripped through Spider-Man's mind too quickly for him to identify. His already amplified senses were on overdrive, fueled by adrenaline and the knowledge that his life was on the line.
A few snapshots of memory escaped the moment intact. The flash of a gun. The hiss of a blade cutting the air. Sections of the ceiling suddenly coming loose, dropping with incredible force. The leap that carried him between a flame-thrower and a mine, detonating both with the crossfire. On at least one occasion, Spidey landed on a trapdoor and fell ten feet before web-zipping back up to relative safety. It took all of ten seconds to cross the hundred feet of hall, and each second lasted an eternity to him.
Then he was clear. His tights sported a dozen small rips, and he was smoldering a few spots. Before any more weapons could track on his new location, Spider-Man shattered the control panel next to the far door and ripped out every important-looking wire and metal piece he could reach. The weapons fell silent.
As the smoke cleared, the other Titans could see Spider-Man leaning against the far wall. His hand was clutched to his chest, and his shoulders were heaving as he attempted to catch his breath. They stared, amazed that he could have made it through such a firestorm relatively unscathed. Cyborg's eye cycled colors again. "All systems deactivated. It's clear." They hurried down the hall to their winded comrade, who waved off their concerns and quailed under Robin's fierce glare. "What the hell were you thinking?! Even with your abilities, that was too risky!"
"Next time I try something that stupid, please hit me over the head with something really heavy before I do it."
"Gladly."
Spider-Man rose to his feet and took a few steps into the next room, turned to say something- then tried to lunge back the instant before a massive blast door slammed shut, sealing him away from the other Titans.
##########&Intermission&##########
I bet you're happy that I hate cliffhangers, aren't you? This would be an even better place for one then when I played my little joke.
Speaking of jokes,
A doctor goes into the same bar every night and orders the same drink, a pecan daiquiri. One night the bartender sees him come in and starts to mix his drink and finds there are no pecans, so he substitutes with hickory nuts. The bar tender serves the drink and the doctor sips it and says, "This is not a pecan Daiquiri." And the bartender says "No, it's a hickory daiquiri doc".
Hey, hey, quit it! Quit with the stupid tomatoes!
##########&Back to the show&##########
Spider-Man rose to his feet and took a few steps into the next room, turned to say something- then tried to lunge back the instant before a massive blast door slammed shut, sealing him away from the other Titans. A muffled thump could be heard as he ran into it face first. Rubbing his injured nose, Spider-Man turned back to face the massive room he had become entombed in (There's a comforting thought, he mentally growled). He found himself meeting the soulless gazes of five hench-bots.
##########&&&&&##########
Robin slammed his fist against the metal of the door, accomplishing nothing but a bruised hand. "A trap. And we walked right into it. And let me guess, the door is too thick to burn through, too strong to knock down, and shielded so that Raven can't rip it out of the walls."
"Guys! I just figured it out!" Terra was wide-eyed as she realized what was really going on. "When I first came to the Titans, Slade led us underground to fight in a mine! Where I'm at my strongest! And then, he tried to recruit me to join him!" She turned to face the others. "Now, he sets a bunch of traps that only Spider-Man could get through…"
The Titans stared at the barrier in mounting horror as the full implications began to set in.
"We need to get through this door now."
##########&&&&&##########
Spider-Man found himself standing atop the wreckage of five hench-bots. He glanced around the room, noting that he was in the middle of a pool of light, revealing only the door and the floor out to a dozen paces or so. Deciding that someone had to be listening, he called out to the nothing. "Y'know, you really ought to fire whoever designs these robots." His voice echoed back softly.
Then another voice responded, a smooth, silky voice that could make anything sound perfectly reasonable. It didn't echo at all. "I would, but they're Union."
A spotlight flared on, illuminating an armored form standing on a platform. Slade. "Excellent work, my arachnid friend. Nothing less then I would have expected from someone with so illustrious a resume as yours."
"Well, it helps to pad things like that a bit. You never know who you might need to impress."
"I can tell you, I most assuredly am impressed. You have remained alive despite the efforts of several hundred hardened men and women throughout New York and the surrounding area, which alone speaks for your talents."
"Nice to know, but- hey, wait a minute. Is this series of job puns just a lead-in to a villain-to-hero 'join me or die' speech?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"Y'know, if you had done your homework, you would know that that's been tried before, and it didn't work."
##########&Flashback to a really old Spider-Man comic&##########
"I can't believe I'm doing this on a school night…" Spider-Man was crawling through the window of an old, decrepit church. He made it inside easily enough, but no sooner then had he risen a voice boomed out of the darkness. "I knew you would come!" The voice's owner stepped out of the pool of darkness concealing him, revealing a steel-plated body and a swirling green cloak.
"Doctor Doom!" (A/N: I told you it was a really old comic.)
"Let me ask you something, Spider-Man. Haven't you ever wondered why you are shunned and feared by the people of this city, while the likes of the Fantastic Four (A/N: This comic is really really really old.) are vaunted and admired?"
"Actually, yeah. I have."
"Don't you think it's unfair that they do not half as much good for the city as you, yet are considered true heroes? All while the police would rather shoot at you then the thieves you hunt down?"
"The thought has crossed my mind… I even have a better costume then they do. Why am I always the fall guy?"
"Why bother saving such bigoted idiots? Join me, and together we shall be unstoppable!"
Spider-Man stood tall, a maniacal glint in his eye (cover). "I can see it now. We would be the greatest duo since Laurel and Hardy (A/N: Where the hell did I find such an old comic?)."
"Yes."
"All would fall before our combined might. The Fantastic Four, the Justice League…" (A/N: I added the Justice League part.)
"Yes!"
"We would crush all that oppose us under the heels of our boots! We would be invincible!"
"YES! So you'll join me?"
"Helllllllll no!"
Here's the short version of what happened next: Spidey beats up Dr. Doom and takes him to the police. Doom will eventually and inevitably escape, and start plotting once more. Blah, blah, blah…
##########&End Flashback&##########
"…So what are you offering that Ol' Iron Ass didn't?"
"Well, first of all…" Slade snapped his fingers. The lights flicked on, revealing the room and its contents. Those contents being: One (1) Spider-Man, one (1) Slade, and several hundred (too damn many) hench-bots.
"…You now have my attention. Anything else?"
"I provide a really good dental plan."
"Keep talking…"
##########&&&&&##########
"Everybody ready?" Robin checked that everyone was, indeed, ready, and put the finishing touches on their go-for-broke door opening device. I'm going to explain how it works, but it gets pretty technical, so pay attention: They wired every explosive Robin was carrying in that handy belt of his to one detonator, and stuck the whole shebang to the door.
They retreated a short distance down the hallway of doom, and Raven formed a shield around them. Robin's thumb hovered over the Big Red Button (patent pending), the Titans plugged their ears, and then-
Then the door slid smoothly open. The Titans blinked, Robin put away the detonator, and they walked through the door. Which immediately slammed shut behind them.
The room was dark, and the only illumination was provided by Cyborg's eye.
Three spotlights flicked on. One illuminated the Titans, another revealed Slade, and the third left an empty patch of floor visible halfway between the other two. That patch of ground had six marks lined up, obviously meant for the Titans.
"Where. Is. Spider. Man?" Robin snarled, as he and the others took up fighting positions.
"Why, Robin, what makes you think I would tell you that after I took all that effort to catch him? And it certainly was a lot of effort, to be certain. You can see the wreckage scattered about."
"I'm going to ask one last time. Where?!"
"Robin, if you and your teammates want to see your insectile friend again intact, you will stand on the prescribed spaces. I won't pretend you are foolish enough to not see them as the traps they are, but what choice do you have?"
Reluctantly, the Titans did as he said. Once all six of them had stopped on an x, restraints sprang out of the floor and ceiling and bound them immobile. Each restraint was custom-designed for its captive, though it was anyone's guess as to how they were correctly targeted.
Robin's cuffs were designed with his escape artist training in mind, keeping his arms above his head and each individual finger completely immobile. His feet were locked in position at his ankles.
Starfire's cuffs kept her arms crossed against her chest, any bolts strong enough to melt the metal would burn her terribly.
Beast Boy's stockade was set to give him a nasty shock whenever it detected a significant change in mass. He was forced to learn that the hard way.
Terra and Raven were in simple chains, arms above their heads and feet held below. Raven's mouth was covered, so that she couldn't invoke her power, while Terra's eyes were covered. It wouldn't stop her, but she couldn't risk hurling boulders around blindly. And that was merely an extra precaution, anyway; there was no stone in the room.
That left Cyborg, who wasn't restrained at all. He had a mini-EMP generator running above his head. While his mind and programs were protected from being wiped, he couldn't control his body's mechanics at all.
The floor split open beneath them, leaving them hanging over a pool filled with (You decide! Choose the cliché evil deathtrap of doom you like best! Alligators, piranhas, electric eels, acid, electrified water, starved gerbils, sharks with or without laser beams on their foreheads, ill-tempered mutant sea bass…).
"Very good. And now, here is your so-called 'friend'." Slade snapped his fingers.
Spider-Man strolled into the pool of light, acting completely unconcerned. "Hi, guys. What's up? I mean, besides you."
There was an uproar from the bound Titans as they branded Spider-Man traitor, betrayer, son-of-a-bitch, bastard, and a Tydidean Jufunbler, whatever the hell that means to a Tamaranian.
He took the shower of insults like it was nothing. "Big talk from the guys catching more air time then a skateboard at the X-games."
"Spider-Man has proven more agreeable to becoming my apprentice than you did, Robin. I don't need to threaten your lives to guarantee his loyalty, I can do it just for fun." Slade snapped his fingers yet again, and a podium rose from the floor. There were two levers on it, marked clearly enough that the Titans could read them from a distance. Except Terra, of course, who was starting to work out what was going on before her blinded eyes. One lever said SAVE and the other DESTROY.
Slade gestured for Spider-Man to take up a position next to the panel. "It is your choice, apprentice. Will you prove your loyalty to me by destroying your former friends? Or will you recant, and hope that they will someday trust you again? Choose now, and choose well."
Spider-Man glanced from the Titans to the panel, and back. He studied them each in turn; Robin's cold glare, Beast Boy's fear, Cyborg's rage, Starfire's pain, Terra's sadness, Raven's smoldering fury. He let his hand hover over first one lever, then the other. "Life… death. Save… destroy. Tough call."
He shifted his hand between the switches. "One might say I'm choosing between Heaven and Hell."
"I'm growing impatient, apprentice."
"Don't you have any sense of drama? Fine. I choose… the hidden third option." His foot flashed out, a high kick that could have taken Slade's head off if it connected. If.
Slade, with almost casual smoothness, caught Spider-Man's attack by the ankle. "I should have known." He threw the double agent across the massive room, and stopped to pull the DESTROY lever before moving toward his betrayer. The Titans began to lower to the pool of whatever with almost painful (and quite unnecessary) slowness.
"I knew you were too weak to go through with it." He strode quickly to Spider-Man, and the two exchanged blows with incredible speed. After, a moment, Spidey stumbled back, finding himself outclassed.
"You're nothing but a pathetic, worthless, gutless, spineless worm, and you don't even deserve to be destroyed by the likes of me."
"Really? Well, then it's a good thing I was planning on doing this anyway." Spider-Man bounded into the air, passing over Slade's head completely. He landed and immediately bounced again, landing on the framework holding Robin prisoner. He easily shattered the lockwork, and threw the frame holding the Boy Wonder to the floor away from the pool.
Robin leapt to his feet, drew his staff, and charged Slade without a second thought. Spidey quickly freed the others one by one, going tallest to shortest. After all, they were being lowered into a pool of something-or-other, and that was a situation where height had disadvantages.
As the Titans rose, Slade seemed to realize that things were going from bad to worse. He broke away from his fight with Robin. "I now know that Spider-Man is not susceptible to bribery. Very well, now that my experiment is complete, I think it's time we end this in the inevitable manner." Slade reached up, and removed his mask- revealing that they had been fighting yet another robotic replica. A screen was mounted on the android's face, and the (presumably) real Slade was being shown. "Farewell, Titans." A digital display was overlaid on Slade's image, counting down from ten. There was no escape; the door was still sealed shut.
Of course, Robin's bombs were still mounted on it.
As they sprinted down the hall, they didn't quite clear the self-destruct device's blast radius, but they were far enough away for Raven to hold back the blast without her shield breaking.
##########&&&&&##########
Robin walked the hall in Titan's Tower at Raven's side. He had already explained to everyone what had really happened back there. See, Robin had known Slade would pull some kind of stunt like that. He had warned Spider-Man long ago, and they had agreed a double cross was the best chance for the team to escape intact. As for why he didn't just pull the SAVE lever, Spidey explained that himself. "Do you really think Slade would give me that option? I sensed more danger from that lever then from the one marked DESTROY. I figure it would have just dropped you all fast, leaving me wracked with guilt and the rest of you dead."
Robin had thought that would be the end of the matter, but apparently Raven remained unconvinced. "C'mon, Rae, he was acting under orders! Cut him some slack!"
"It was still a massive risk."
"And it worked! I know we can trust him."
She wheeled on him abruptly. "Do you? What if Slade had offered the right bait?"
He was getting angry now. "Right bait? What do you mean? Do you think anyone would become a traitor for the right price?"
"You did." The cold brutality, the sheer truth in Raven's words chilled Robin to the bone. "Your price was our lives. We can only hope that the rest of us have prices set so high."
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A/N: I think I just broke some kind of speed record for finishing a fourteen-page chapter. I guess all that slush people put in their author's notes are true, good reviews are the best motivation! And now, a few responses:
Me262: Thanks, first of all. I've wanted to pick up a copy of that book for a while now, since I keep hearing about how funny it is. So, thanks again!
Neo-Link Tails: As I stated in the final A/N of chapter one, I'm using a slightly AU version of Ultimate Spider-Man, placing him in the 15-16 range. The AU-ness comes from him having spinnerets instead of web-shooters, like in the movie.
X-Over: I thought about a chapter combining Evolution with this, but I didn't think of having the Brotherhood enter the H.A.E.Y.P. Not bad… we'll have to see.
Dr. Evans: I had considered that possibility long ago, and only recently made a final decision. You'll see what I decided next chapter. It is good to know that thinking about possibilities like that isn't crazy, despite the number of purists who would see me strung up for writing something like it.
You keep reviewing, I'll keep writing. And I have a lot of ideas, so I'm naturally going to need a lot of reviews to get them all done.