Epilogue
If
you don't want it bad enough to risk losing it- you don't want it bad
enough.
Tom
Krause
Quistis
Trepe sat alone in a musty bar located in the slums of Deling City.
The smoke filled room was one she often visited in the six years
since the defeat of the sorceress. The final battle had been fierce
and hard on both the mind and body and still had people paying for
it.
Afterwards, The SeeD's were greeted by cheering crowds,
all holding colorful banners and waving national flags to show their
support of the new government. Nearly everyone had a smile, including
the Ice Prince Squall Leonhart. Everyone shared a laugh with friends,
both old and new.
Squall and Rinoa got together, of course.
Everyone in Garden knew that Rinoa was the only woman who could
possibly melt the ice around his heart. They had two little girls of
their own now.
Selphie managed to rope in Irvine, which people
saw coming as well. They had a fairly stable relationship with only
small 'scrimmages' now and then. Around the end of last year, they
found out they couldn't have any children, which was a terrible blow
to Selphie. Irvine, optimistic as always, searched for orphan
children from the war. He and Selphie adopted two little boys from
Esthar.
Zell hooked up with the library girl, who actually had
a name, Amy. He still hadn't gathered the nerve to ask her to marry
him, though they had been going out for several years. They were
somewhere in Centra, exploring some ruin or another.
Quistis,
the more career oriented of them all, had her choice of men, but the
one she needed was the only one she couldn't
have.
Flashback
After finishing a talk with his
magic instructor, Seifer walked over to Quistis, where she was
practicing drawing from another student. When the guy saw Seifer
coming, he took off at a run.
Quistis looked up at Seifer and
smiled brightly. "Hey. What was that about?"
He
winked at her and grinned slyly. "Oh, you know. She just wanted
to confess her undying love for me."
She rolled her eyes
exasperatedly at her partner. "No, tell me the truth. Undying
love? Please."
"What, you don't believe me?" He
held his hands up in his defense, "I can't help that I'm so
attractive to the females. Even if she is older then me, she can't
withstand my charm."
Quistis laughed and punched him on
the shoulder good-naturedly. "You're an idiot, ya know
that."
"Why, are you jealous?"
She
looked him in the eyes and met his challenge. "What if I am?
What if I do want all your attention focused on me?"
He
put his hands down, not sure of what to say. Her blunt statement made
him take a few steps forward. "You mean it?"
Shyly,
Quistis looked at her feet and drew a thin line in the dirt. "Ummm,
maybe I do mean it. Is that a terribly bad thing, Seifer?"
He
walked up and grabbed her hand. "No, it isn't bad. In fact, I
think that's the best news I've heard all day."
She
managed to raise her azure eyes to meet his green ones. "You
mean it?"
He nodded his head. "Yeah, I mean it."
He bent over and kissed her lightly on the cheek. And as he moved in
for a closer encounter . . .
End Flashback
"Hon,
are you going to order something, or are you just going to stay there
tempting my customers all night?"
Quistis looked up at
the big-breasted barmaid who stood next to her table. "Your
customers need to get a new hobby and stop messin' with me. I can't
count how many times I've been hit on."
Hope tapped her
foot anxiously. "Yeah, don't we all wish we had your problem."
A drunken man waved her down from across the room. "I gotta go
get that guy's toy. You want somethin', or what."
Quistis
glanced up at Hope. "That's disgusting, you know. I can't
believe you work in your father's whore house."
Hope
glared at her friend. "Don't knock it till you've tried it. Now
order."
Quistis snorted. "Real intelligent."
She rubbed her temples. "Pick the one thing you wouldn't give
your worst enemy and give me a double."
With a flip of
her short red skirt, Hope pranced off to collect her order and serve
the drunk man. Quistis struggled to regain her memory of Seifer, but
it was lost forever in time. Ruefully, she sighed and pulled an
ashtray of sand towards her.
When she reached into her leather
purse to pull out her packet of cigarettes, a good looking guy walked
up and leaned on the end of the table. A group of giggly girls,
probably their first time at a bar, whistled and loudly rated his
butt. He averaged an 8.6.
Quistis politely ignored him and
shuffle through loose slips of paper for her lighter. The guy smiled
as he held up a light for her. She leaned forward, lit her cigarette
and returned to staring at the ash tray. He moved to sit down, but
Quistis stopped him with an icy glare of her deep blue eyes. Her new
friend rolled his eyes and left to talk to the butt-
raters.
Flashback
They were in the Balamb woods
and were supposed to be training. The night was unseasonably hot and
the moon shone unusually bight. After romping around for a few hours
and getting helplessly lost, they sat down to rest.
Quistis,
however, had other ideas. She leaned over and kissed Seifer softly
above his eyebrow, sending shivers down his spine, giving him
prickles down to his toes. He smiled lightly, talking to her with his
eyes.
"I'm ready." She whispered.
He kissed
her neck softly as her lowered himself next to her. She instinctively
tensed when he pressed his hands to her chest and worked them up to
her shoulders.
She put her hands on his, not wanting him to
stop, but too afraid to let him continue. She yelped when he placed
his hands on her stomach and pushed a sharp stick into the small of
her back.
Seifer sat up suddenly. "You ok, darlin'? Don't
want to go too fast for you."
She pushed her back into a
tree trunk and brought her knees up to her chest. "I'm sorry. I
didn't mean. . ."
Seifer interrupted her. "No, don't
be sorry. It's yours to give when you want and to you want. I don't
want you to regret anything about our time together,"
Seifer
reached his hand behind his head and pulled off his necklace. A
silver cross gleamed in the moonlight. He offered the silvery chain
to Quistis.
She looked at him, feeling her eyes mist over. "I
can't. . . It's yours. I can't take it from you."
He hung
it around her neck and kissed the nape of her neck. "I want you
to have it. So you can have a little bit of me no matter what happens
to us."
She touched the cross as it settled itself
between her breasts. Seifer leaned closer to her and kissed her lips
softly, caressing them with his tongue.
Quistis moaned softly
as she lay back on the hard forest floor. Seifer repositioned himself
and began to undress her.
End Flashback
The bar
maid walked back to Quistis' table and set down a glass of a murky
looking drink. "Just holler when you want another one, 'cuse you
will be wanting another one soon."
Quistis waved her off.
"Thanks, Hope. I'll yell when I need you. Just stay away until
then. And don't sell me to none of them vultures"
Hope
rolled her eyes as she walked over to another table and bent over
seductively as a guy at that table tucked a twenty into her fishnet
stockings.
Quistis took a long swig of her beverage, grimacing
at the burning feeling as it forced its way down her throat and
settled in her stomach. She selected another cigarette from her purse
and managed to light it by herself.
She inhaled deeply and
looked around the room. She saw no one she knew, but many who were
looking at her.
You're readin' it all wrong/Let me tell you
about her/She only smokes when she drinks/She only drinks now and
then/Now and then when she's tired/Of bein' let down by men
Flash Back
The sunlight shone through the window of the second floor classroom casting strange shadows on the floor. All eyes were focused on the blonde beauty who taught their SeeD Prep Class. She smiled wistfully, as she knew that only half of her students were actually paying attention to her lecture.
One man in the back row caught her eye as he yawned loudly and stretched his arms out over his head. Losing her place, she glanced down at her notes. Sure, she and Seifer had broken it off over two years ago, but there were some things you couldn't forget.
She wrapped up her lecture and finished class with a few announcements. "If you haven't taken the prerequisite to the Field exam, please arrange for one before tomorrow. Seifer, I need to speak with you, if you wouldn't mind."
Seifer's peers snickered as they filed out of the classroom. It was considered the greatest of disgraces if Instructor Trepe had to meet with you after class. Quistis smiled at many a student as they waved to her.
Seifer sauntered up to her desk after the last of her admirers left the room. He stopped about five feet away from her, towering over her petite form. "What did you want to talk about, dear instructor?"
Quistis glared at her student. "Cut the crap, Seifer. I wanted to warn you that you need to actually pass your test this year. Your time is running out and I doubt that you'll be able to find another line of work."
He sat on the corner of her desk and crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about. I'm going to be a sorceress' knight. I have talents."
Quistis picked up Seifer's portfolio from her desk and opened it. "Grow up. You are not five years old, playing some silly game. Your scores show you could be the best damn SeeD out there if you would just apply yourself."
Seifer looked at his feet an uncrossed his arms. Quistis unconsciously felt her hand go to her neck, searching for her necklace. This small act did not go unnoticed by Seifer.
"You still have that thing? It was just a bit of junk I got at a dime store." He smirked at her, as her face flushed a deep fuchsia.
She smiled brightly, as she had taken the necklace off earlier that day. "You think too highly of yourself. I haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about. You may go now, and I suggest you spend your time studding and not making life hell for other students."
Seifer left the room slowly, showing Quistis that she didn't intimidate him.
Quistis sighed heavily as she sat down at her desk. She opened the drawer of her mahogany desk and pulled out a silver chain. She gently placed it on the desk. A picture on the corner of the desktop caught her eye. It was a picture of a one-year-old boy, sitting in the middle of a huge bed.
It was a picture of her son.
End Flashback
Quistis glared at her empty cup and waved down Hope. "Give me a beer. I don't want to get drunk too fast."
Hope smiled sympathetically. "Tonight's a slow night, huh? Well, sweetie, it gets better. You got any preferences?"
Quistis shook her head. Alcohol was alcohol. It helped drown memories. Its job was nothing more, nothing less.
You can give her a light/But it's not what you think/Everybody knows, she only drinks alone/And she only smokes when she drinks
Quistis smiled slightly as her nicotine rush kicked in. It always helped to calm her nerves. When Hope came back and placed the auburn bottle in front of her, Quistis simply picked it up and began to peel the label off. A stupid hobby she picked up.
As an afterthought, she reached into her purse and dug deep. When her hand resurfaced, it held within its clutches a silver chain with a small cross hanging off it.
Flashback
"Quistis Trepe, report to the Headmaster's office, ASAP. Repeat: Quistis Trepe, report to Cid's office, ASAP.
Quistis felt a flush begin to crawl up her neck as students and instructors alike whispered as she walked by. She had recently returned from a SeeD field exam and had been busy congratulating her students, both those who passed and those who didn't.
Of course one student had been noticeably absent.
When she managed to make her way to the third floor, she found Cid, a few of the omnipresent Garden Staff, and her missing student.
"Seifer," She greeted him as civilly as she could. She had gotten word that he failed again, this time for disobeying orders. He only smiled in return, being unusually pleasant.
Cid placed his hands behind his back and frowned slightly. "And how are you doing tonight, Miss Trepe?"
Quistis looked at her boss, thoroughly confused. "I'm fine, headmaster. How are you doing?"
"Not so well, Miss Trepe." Cid's frown deepened slightly. "I don't like dealing with unpleasant matters such as these."
Quistis nervously glanced at Seifer, who continued smiling. "And what unpleasant matters would those be, sir?"
Cid glanced at Seifer as well, before he continued his speech. "I have received numerous complaints about you, Miss Trepe. I'm afraid that students don't feel particularly, shall we say encouraged, to be taught by you. You lack the leadership qualities that we need in an instructor."
Staring in disbelief, Quistis let out a small laugh. "Students periodically have small disagreements with their teachers. That's just how things work sometimes."
Cid nodded. "Yes, and normally I would agree with you. However, I have received information from a DC member that you are not prepared for this job. If I had more time, I would investigate, but as you can simply see, I'm overcome with work. For now, your licenses will be revoked. You are dismissed. You may go as well, Seifer."
Quistis and Seifer left the room and got on the elevator. "It was you. You turned me in and most likely had your posses lodge complaints against me." She waved her hands frantically in his face.
Seifer smiled innocently as he close the elevator door. "Right on, Instructor. You are a smart one, too bad you lack leadership qualities. I followed your example, after all." He continued laughing as the door opened and Quistis stormed out to clean up her office.
End Flashback
Quistis added the fifth beer bottle label to her pile as she waved Hope over, once again. "Give me sumthin' stronger, ya hear?"
Hope smiled slightly. "Right, hon. Maybe you should let one of them nice boys dance with ya. It might do ya some good."
Quistis flicked a label at Hope as she left to fetch Quistis' order. "Like you know about heart break."
Did you ask her to dance/Let me guess, she told you no/Got to take her some place quie/ And see how far that goes/Oh, don't take it all that hard/When she smiles and turns you down
Flashback
It hurt her deeply when they had to fight Seifer for the final time. She couldn't 'pull her punches' so to speak, because her friends were endangered. But once upon a time, he had been her friend as well.
He fell forward slightly as Squall delivered Lionheart. A small river of blood trickled out of the corner of his mouth.
Monosyllabically, Squall addressed his foe. "You can give, Seifer. This doesn't need to continue."
Seifer pulled himself off the ground. "Like Hell it doesn't! I'm gonna win, puberty boy. Ain't nothing in the whole damn world you can do about it. He made eye contact with Quistis. "I can't fail again."
Quistis turned her azure eyes away and cracked her whip nervously. Squall nodded his head, accepting Seifer's decision to go out like a man, like a knight.
Quistis struck the final blow with her Save the Queen and felt her heart cry out when he hit the cold, metal floor. Even though Squall had done most of the damage, it was she who had finished the deed.
Rinoa ran up and was dragged off by Seifer. He fed her to Adel and managed to back away. Back by the door, he collapsed again. Squall went on with Selphie and Zell to save Rinoa. Quistis managed to sneak away, unnoticed, to tend to her ex-lover.
He coughed up blood onto her already stained skirt. "Quisty?" He reached his hand up to touch a flaxen strand of hair hanging in front of his face. "Is that you, Quisty?"
She felt her tears run down her face as she leaned forward. Seifer's voice was getting weaker. "Yeah, it's me. I'm here."
He coughed again, a little more forcefully. "'M sorry for getting you fired, 'n 'm sorry for hurting you. I never meant to."
Quistis brushed a few sweaty wisps of hair off his forehead. "I know you are. I know."
His eyes focused suddenly. "Why didn't you tell me?"
She looked down into his jade eyes. "Why didn't I tell you what?"
He shuddered violently. "Why didn't you tell me I had a son? Why didn't you tell me?"
Quistis felt herself start to fade into time compression as Seifer's words repeated in her head. 'Why didn't you tell me?'
End Flashback
The door to the bar jingled as more customers trampled in. Quistis barely looked up from her bourbon. She tried to search her memories and find one more to latch onto, but they all slipped trough her fingers like grains of sand.
Hope walked up and took a spot directly in front of Quistis, bringing along a few more beers and her own pack of cigarettes. "You got a light, babe?"
Quistis absent mindedly handed her a lighter. Hope lit up and inhaled as she thought of what to say to her friend. "What are you doing tonight? You want to come over to my place?"
Quistis grunted, noncommittally. She wanted to be left alone, but Hope had been a pillar of support the six years that came after the Sorceress' War of Succession.
Hope smiled slightly as she handed Quistis a beer. "We can be, like, real girls, out on the town. Pick up a few guys, do insane shit we wouldn't normally do. . ."
An ember glowed red in the ashtray that had made its way to the middle of the table. Quistis stared at it with interest. She took a quick swig of beer and looked over Hope's shoulders. With an alarmed look on her face, she jumped up and made her way to the bathroom.
Confused, Hope pulled herself off the sticky booth and followed Quistis into the dank and dirty restroom. "What's up, babe? You acted like you just saw yourself a ghost."
Quistis turned the cold tap water on high and splashed her reddened face. "Worse. I saw Seifer. A real livin', beathin' reminder of my past."
Unable to hold on to whatever dignity she had left, Quistis collapsed on the tile floor, sobbing hysterically.
Hope tried to bend down to comfort her friend, finding it difficult in her short skirt. "Honey, I'm sure it wasn't him. You've had a hard night."
Quistis brushed her tears away. "I wish I could believe you, but I saw him. I saw his damn face, still as fuckin' arrogant as always."
Frantically, Hope pulled a cigarette out of her bodice. "You telling me Seifer Almasy just walked into my father's bar?"
Quistis slowly nodded her head. Hope laughed gleefully. "This is great." She held her cigarette out for Quistis who ignored it. "You can finally end all them damn nightmares. Just go up to him and talk."
Quistis pulled herself back up, using the sink for support. "No. Look at me. I dreamt of meeting him again all these years, but me in a bar, bags under my eyes, stinking of smoke and alcohol, is not how I imagined it."
Hope pulled out a makeup bag from under the sink. "I keep this in here for emergencies."
Quistis didn't crack a smile as Hope went to work.
You can give her a light/But it's not what you think/Everybody knows, she only drinks alone/And she only smokes when she drinks
Seifer sat in a booth located directly opposite of Quistis' now vacant one. Ignoring all the dirty looks he was getting, he ordered a few shots of hard liquor. His hair was longer and a little dirty, but he still gave off an 'I'm better then you' aura.
He nodded to a few people who smiled his way and winked at a few whores. When his waitress came with his drink, he raised his glass and prepared to chug it.
Quistis stepped out of the bathroom, almost looking eighteen again. Seifer's eyes met hers and his glass fell to the table, breaking into two clean pieces.
Carefully, Quistis approached Seifer, like he was a dream. He stood up and smiled. She sat down and grinned slightly as she saw Hope give her a thumbs up sign from behind Seifer's shoulder.
They sat for a few moments, just looking at each other. Seifer was the first to speak. "So, Instructor, what have you been doing all these years?"
Quistis winced at the name 'Instructor'. "Actually, I quit SeeD about five years ago. It got kind of pointless." She looked down at the table. "I got bored." She quickly looked up. "What about you?"
Seifer ignored the question and took Quistis' hands in his own. "I've missed you, Quisty. I've spent most of my time seeking you out."
She rolled her eyes. "No, really. Be serious. You left me. You hung me out to dry. Discarded me like a fucking piece of diseased meat. Don't you go and feed me none of that shit. I might be getting older, but I'm sure as hell not senile."
He looked into her eyes, and she found herself unable to look away. "Then why do you still have my necklace."
Mentally she cursed herself. She had forgotten she had put it back on. Her hand went up to cover it. "I. . ."He eyes filled with tears for the first time in six years.
Seifer stood up and helped Quistis up as well. "Let's go for a walk." Quistis followed him, not meeting the eyes of anyone in the bar.
When they reached the street, the cold night air hit her like a sledge hammer. Involuntarily, Quistis shivered. Seifer took off his tattered trench coat and handed it to her. She gratefully took it.
They walked down the street, wandering really, no destination in mind. Seifer stopped Quistis when they reached the park. She sat her down on a bench and got on his knees in front of her.
Unable to hold it back, Quistis laughed. "You aren't going to propose, are you?"
Seifer laughed as well, loudly and heartily. It had been a long tome since either had felt so free of guilt and past misdeeds. "No. But I do want to apologies. I don't know what happened to us, but I want you back."
She slid off the bench and sat on the graveled path with him. "What do you mean? You cheated on me. It's simple, really."
Seifer shook his head. He had an idea about what happened, but didn't want to point fingers. "No. Don't look into our past. I've grown up, Quisty. We both have. Can we start over?"
"Start over? Completely?"
Seifer smiled at her. "Yeah. We can become a real couple. Like one we might have been a long time ago. We won't ask 'what if'. We can be normal. Quis, I searched for you. All these years I wanted to see your face. And now you're here. I was a fool to not come after you once, but I won't do it again."
He held his hand out for her. She took it and smiled trough her tears. "Ok. We won't ask 'what if'. We leave the past in the past where it belongs."
Seifer stood up and pulled Quistis up as well. The lights of Deling shone on them as Seifer smiled Quistis. "Will you dance with me?"
She placed her hand in his and sighed as he wrapped his arm around her waist. The music of the city provided enough rhythm for the two lovers as they danced their past away.
For a complicated girl She ain't that hard to figure out
Our pasts only haunt us when we let them. Before you let something dark consume you, think about what happened and why it happened. Life isn't always fair and shit happens, but if you are brave enough to weather the storm, you will do all right.