Chapter 5

Memories

"In hora sunme inopis nostrae – in the hour of our greatest need."

          -- unknown

Grissom couldn't believe what he had said. Then again, he hadn't believed that he had kissed her in the first place. She had looked so firey when she was yelling at him that he had kissed her and that was that.

"I…"

"Did you mean it?" He heard the note of desperation in her voice and faced her.

"With my whole heart," Grissom whispered. The smile that graced Catherine's face lit up her eyes so beautifully that Grissom leaned in for another kiss.

"I love you too, Gil. I love you too."

Before Catherine left that morning, she dropped by Grissom's office. He wasn't there, so Catherine went wandering through the lab to find him. She came across an interrogation room where Sara was receiving quite the beating. Catherine froze.

You're not important; no one will ever love you…

I will be the only one that could ever care for you…

I'm all that matters in your world…

You're a useless dirty whore…

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" Catherine screamed curling up in a fetal position under the window. The whole lab rushed to find who was screaming and found both Catherine and Sara on the floor. Grissom rushed to Catherine's side, pulling her tight to his chest.

"Some one check on Sara. I'll handle Cath." Nick and Warrick rushed into the other room and pulled an aggressive Jack Banning off of a very unconscious Sara Sidle. Nick dropped to his knees beside Sara.

"We need an ambulance!" Nick called to the bystanders. They all rushed to their offices, away from the trauma.

"Greg, get 911 on the phone," Grissom ordered. Greg started, then saw the blood and bruises Sara was sporting through the window. He quickly picked up Catherine's cell phone that was lying on the ground and dialed the number. Grissom, now that the crowd was gone, carried Catherine to his office and closed the door with his foot. He sat down on the couch with Catherine in his lap and pulled her tight against him as she cried. Her sobs wracked her thing frame to the core, and shook him as well. She couldn't get a breath.

"Cath, you need to breath, honey. You need to take a deep breath," he said softly rubbing her back.

"I…" she tried between sobs.

"Shh, Cath. Breathe first, talk later."

"God, Gil. I didn't even think about Sara being in that room. The only thing I thought of was me, All of the memories came rushing back…"

~Flashback~

"You know you can't leave."

"Eddie, I've made my decision and I've got the papers. This is the end."

"It will never be over, Catherine. I'm the only one that could ever love an ex-stripper." Catherine breathed in deeply to calm her raging nerves. Anger would do nothing in this fight.

"These are the divorce papers, Eddie, and I don't need love to be successful."

"You do so, you whore!" Eddie screamed and lashed out at her. She took the shot in the temple and her head took the shock. She wouldn't fall, not this time.

"For Lindsey's sake, I'm leaving, Eddie. She doesn't deserve to see her mother beaten all the time and she doesn't deserve to be beaten herself. If you really do love us both, you'll let us go."

"Damnit, never! You're mine, you're both mine!" His next punch hit her in the stomach and she doubled over in pain, looking up defiantly into his eyes. Catherine still didn't back down.

"This has to do with that damn doctor, doesn't it? That Grissom!" Catherine couldn't believe her ears. He was accusing one of her best friends for the divorce. True, he had been a catalyst for the papers but Catherine had been thinking of the extreme action for a while now.

"He has nothing to do with this, Eddie."

"Mommy?" Little Lindsey was standing in the doorway, teddy bear in hand.

"Go back to bed, sweetie," Catherine said soothingly.

"But Mommy, you're hurt," Lindsey replied rushing to her mother's side and brushing at the blood on her temple.

"Go back to bed, Lindsey," Catherine repeated. Lindsey shook her head.

"You're hurt." Her voice, just as Catherine's would have, brooked no argument. Catherine sighed.

"Get back to bed," Eddie growled at his daughter. Catherine's mothering instincts instantly threw a protective wall around her daughter… so to speak.

"Leave her out of this, Eddie," Catherine pleaded as he reached for the blond head behind her. Eddie grasped a handful of Lindsey's hair and dragged her out from behind her mother. Catherine screamed as Eddie's arm came out to hit the young girl. One hit was all it took and Catherine lost it. One glace around and she grabbed the closest thing that would most likely not kill her soon-to-be ex-husband but knock him out. She hit him and he fell to the ground.

~End Flashback~

"Cath, that was a long time ago," Grissom assured her, remembered how she and Lindsey had both shown up at his door, Catherine slightly bloody and Lindsey bruising around the side of her face. He knew she didn't want any one else to know and had fixed up their room and given them the spare bedroom in his townhouse. The way they had clung to each other when he went in at the early morning hours – having given Catherine the night off to comfort her daughter – had terrified him. They were each other's lifelines and Eddie had come between that. He shook Catherine gently.

"Cath, you need to eat, so does Linds." Catherine's eyes had fluttered open, her brilliant blue meeting his and that, he thought was the moment that he had fallen completely in love with her.

"It doesn't matter, Grissom. What happened to Sara…"

"She'll be fine, Catherine," he assured her. Then her eyes widened.

"Lindsey… I… I need to see my daughter." He understood her fear, especially from the memory he knew was rushing through her head over and over again. He nodded.

"I will go and pick her up. You stay right here and I'll bring her back." He looked her in the eye and noticed the fear there; a fear that shook him straight to the bone.

"I promise I will be right back, Catherine." He placed a light kiss on her hair and placed her carefully on the couch. Then he left, closing the door carefully behind him. Outside, he came face to face with Warrick.

"How is she?"

"She's not good. Sara?"

"On her way to the hospital. Again." A shadow of a smile flickered across Grissom's face before it turned sober again.

"Keep an eye on Cath. The memories she just relived gave her quite a scare. She wants to see Lindsey." Warrick nodded and carefully opened the door. Grissom left, grabbing his keys from his pockets and rushing to Catherine's sister's house.

"Uncle Grissom?" Lindsey's inquisitive voice greeted him sleepily.

"Hey, Lindsey."

"Where's Mommy? Is she okay?" Lindsey's voice had increased in tone and pitch with fear.

"Your mom is fine, sweetie, but she really needs to see you. She's just been through a scare and she needs you to help her feel better." He could imagine Lindsey nodding at his words. "I'm on my way to come and get you."

"Okay Uncle Grissom. I'll get my stuff ready to go." They hung up. He kept driving through the Vegas streets, deep in thought. Sara's beating put him down a CSI… again and Catherine's terrified look would haunt him forever. He didn't realize where he was until he pulled into the driveway of Catherine's sister, Rebecca's, house.

"Gil!"

"Aunt Becky, thank you for taking care of me… again." Rebecca turned to Lindsey who was standing in the foyer with her overnight bag, still in her pyjamas. Rebecca looked rather surprised.

"I don't…"

"I'm sorry. Lindsey said she was going to tell you. Catherine's had quite the scare and she needs to see Lindsey. I didn't want to let her drive. She's back at the lab waiting for her daughter. I'll get Cath to call you…"

"No, really Gil, its okay. I'm just… surprised." Rebecca hugged Lindsey tightly before shuffling the little girl to put on her shoes.

"I'll get Cath to call you anyway. I'm sure you're worried about her."

"What was the scare?"

"Memories. Of Eddie." It was all that needed to be said. Rebecca knew, as well as Grissom that the only memory that still terrified Catherine was the day she had presented Eddie with divorce papers. Even Lindsey knew.

"Uncle Grissom? Can we go see Mommy now?" Grissom smiled down at Lindsey's question and nodded. They said their goodbyes and thank you's and left.

"Mommy?" Catherine's eyes flew open on the couch when she heard her daughter's voice.

"Lindsey!" The girl ran into her mother's arms, hugging her neck tightly and Catherine grasping onto her daughter tightly. Grissom closed the door, leaning against it watching.

"Uncle Grissom said you remembered." Catherine smiled, though watery, at her daughter.

"Yeah, baby, I did. I needed to make sure you were okay," she answered, pulling her daughter tighter against her.

"I'm perfect, Mommy but you aren't." Catherine smiled at her daughter's uncanny ability to feel what her mother was feeling. Lindsey climbed onto her mother's lap and under the blanket Warrick had found for Catherine.

"Just scared, sweetheart. I'll get over it."

"Uncle Grissom told me Sara got hurt. Is she going to be okay?"

"Sara will be fine. She's just going to take a little while to feel better. Maybe if I'm feeling better we can go visit her and bring her a present." Lindsey positively beamed at the statement. Catherine fell back onto the couch, pulling her daughter with her. Lindsey laughed, a sound that was music to Catherine and Grissom's ears.

"Cath? I'm going to leave you for now. We're going to go check on Sara and we'll be back. Do you want anything?" Catherine's eyes showed what she wanted better than any words that could have been spoken between them. However, Grissom knew better than you think about that with her daughter on her stomach.

"Can I have a milk, Uncle Grissom?"

"Of course you can sweetie. I'll be back soon. I have my cell phone if you need anything." Catherine nodded, pulling Lindsey closer to her.

Warrick turned to Grissom as soon as the lab was out of sight. The older man was driving and Warrick could see the tension in his face.

"She'll be okay, Griss. Both of them will be okay."

"I've never seen Catherine so scared. She's seen some nasty stuff throughout her career and even then, going through other abuse cases and other brutality killings she's never…" The look in Catherine's eyes would haunt him for as long as he would be able to remember. Catherine had looked lost and alone. Two emotions that Grissom, if he had the choice, he would never see in her eyes again. Ever.

Sara had come around by the time Grissom and Warrick got to the hospital. She was in the same room she had been when the morphine had been found in her system. Her face was black and blue, both eyes black and bruises all up and down her arms. In short, she looked horrible. Nick was beside her bed, his hands held one of her now delicate ones.

"Nick was just telling me about Catherine. Is she okay?" Grissom had to admire Sara. Even in intense pain she put others in front of herself.

"Cath will be fine. She and Lindsey are in my office back at the lab." Sara nodded her head gently.

"Want to explain why you were in there without some one else?" His tone was light, to keep her from feeling that this was her fault in the first place.

"Some one else was there. There was an officer right outside the door but…" Grissom held up his hand to stop her.

"It's okay, Sara. The important thing is that you are safe. You'll be in here for the trial. Lucky you." Sara's grin was ecstatic and Grissom felt a ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"It was almost like practicing for me. If I could face him in an interrogation room, I could face him in a courtroom when I was proving that he killed my best friends."

"I see what Catherine meant by too emotionally involved," Warrick quipped.

"Emily Turner and Ellen Bizet were your best friends? Amanda's too?" Grissom asked. Sara nodded.

"So is he mad at you? They're all connected to you aren't they?" Warrick asked, catching on to Grissom's theory.

"Either that or they're connected to Amanda," Sara supplied. Amanda, who was sitting in a corner, stepped into the light.

"I hate to trump your theory, Sara, but he has no reason to attack me. You, on the other hand, left him. He has more motive to attack you than me." Grissom looked to Amanda, a slight look of admiration on his face.

"You've rubbed off on her." Sara grinned.

"I try."

"I need to get back to the lab. Am I driving any one with me?" Grissom asked, turning to Warrick and Nick.

"I'm coming," Warrick said. Nick shook his head.

The drive back to the crime lab was quiet, both Warrick and Grissom in their own little worlds. Their entrance into the lab, however, yielded many questions. Warrick took charge in fending them off as Grissom made his way to his office.

"Catherine?" he whispered opening the door quietly. He had to smile at the adorable picture mother and daughter made curled up on the couch together. Grissom gently shook Catherine awake, doing his best to leave Lindsey asleep. Catherine moaned quietly at being shaken but her eyes fluttered open.

"Morning sunshine," he said with a smiled. Catherine returned the smile sleepily, carefully pulling away from her daughter and standing on the floor. He drew her into his arms, hugging her like a lifeline. Her scare had terrified him as much as it had her.

"It'll all be okay, Cath."

"I know, Gil. I know.

"I'll always be here for you."

"Always?"

"Always."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Man oh man. This one was the hardest chapters to write partly because it has a lot to do with Catherine's past. Now, before I get thousands of reviews saying "Lindsey! How could you even think about mentioned abuse and Lindsey?" I had a really hard time deciding whether or not Lindsey should see her mother and father fighting and I hope it was clear that it was only one hit, only once. It was not a continuation nor did it ever happen again.

Coming Soon…

Catherine voices her guilt to Sara

Happiness surfaces… for a moment

Catherine withdraws from her 'family'

And stay tuned for the next chapter in the Nick/Sara story Blossoming.

~Kavi Leighanna