Hey! Read Pensieve by Oy Angelina, read On Their Own Again, by ccbchunks, and whatever Popcorn1289 writes. Also, do me a favor, and read A Different View, but don't compare my character to Riddlenesse's, cause there is no comparison. Oh, and I don't write nearly as well as the aforementioned people, particularly Oy Angelina, who is effin brilliant. I hear she became a proffesional writer. Wow. She doesn't even need good luck. I just want to read her book when it's done, cause she's coo. I mean, coo coo. If she was money she'd be a see note.
Oh. Yes. And no. Okay, Woody? NO. No, no, no, no. That is not what I was going for. To the rest of you: There is an errata, and Lucius is not Luscious. There evidently was some sort of miscommunication. I am not gay, and even if I was, I would never. Never. NEVER! Say something like that. We have covered this three times. I am not inventing a new character here. I am not sexually modifying Draco's father's name. I am the victim of a Microsoft Word spell-check error. Bear with me.
Just read it. You'll love it. And review my junk. Please. And recommend it on. I love people who read my crap, as crap it is. Now sit back, and enjoy the deaths of all eight characters! Heh, but actually, enjoy their plights and benefits, enjoy their pitfalls and skills, and don't be critical of my poor writing talent. It (my talent) doesn't like critics, and neither does the Beastie.
Chapter two: The first trap.
"Never in my life has so much talent gone undiscovered. You are truly a remarkable wizard, and there is reason you are at this school. Yet you need some learning still. First thing: choose you duel style. I am sort of a single wand like many people, but I can go dual duel and non-wand..."
"Wow. Damn. Why the hell is the wind suddenly stronger here?" The foursome had circled the mountain, and was looking at the south-facing portion. They saw how high they were, yet how much higher the mountain loomed. "So, Liesel, any good charms here?" David had become the leader of this weary band of travelers.
"Yeah. Point-me." Her wand pointed into the heart of the mountain.
"How useless was that? Dumbass. Look; the sun's over there, this must be the south face. We don't need magic to tell us that. David asked for a useful spell." Amanda was at her wit's end. She had said they were going the wrong way all week, and she had been correct.
"We have to keep going." David said, peering forward. "What's that sound?"
Lauren started humming 'Beastie,' and suddenly started singing lowly.
"Stop it. What was that sound?" The howling was heard again, and even Liesel was getting to be scared.
"Beastie. Duh." Lauren said.
"I know the song..." Liesel sounded ticked.
"No. I think she's got a point. Perhaps there is a beastie roaming out here in the wild." David said, and then heard the scream and looked up the mountain.
"The wand is significantly less important than your school teachers make it seem. Perhaps the only non-Silverlode to ever get the idea of a wand is a man named Severus Snape. I believe he was killed, or something. But I don't think even he knew what a wand meant to the spell. The wand forms a focus point for the spell, and a hand does the same trick. In fact, the early transmutations require you to not use your wand. Yet we have the opposite spectra of things, in Time Stop, which requires a wand, as there is no known person to have the strength to cast it without a wand. Yes, you are strong, but you don't understand. Also, we can view these things from the examination of the killing spell, Avada Kedavra, and death itself..."
"I don't know about this one..." Draco was lost. He had followed the people with the crystal but seemed to have lost them.
He was shit out of luck, trapped on the largest mountain in the world, and he had no idea where he was. The yeti stories, while unconfirmed, remained fresh in his mind. At least Hermione didn't believe them. For a mudblood, she seemed to understand a lot more about survival than he. He supposed it was because he had learned that magic could always solve the problem, while she had to rely on muggle methods of survival. Well, she was his only hope of getting off the mountain, and Draco's supplies were her only chance of staying alive. Yet, as Draco thought, he wouldn't mind her. Not under these circumstances. Never before had he noticed how, cold, a bed could get...
He slapped himself. "No. She's a mudblood, and we don't sleep with mudbloods. How could we? The scum." Yet he couldn't help but notice that her usually ugly bushy hair was looking better in the glow of the snow. Why hadn't he noticed before? He had always been hung up on her parentage. Not her looks, or even her personality. Wow, he was even shallower than most. Especially since all wizard families must have been founded by mudbloods, since before wizards that would be all who lived. No. He wouldn't think that way.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Hermione asked.
"Nothin. Why?" Draco bold-face lied. He would never tell her what he thought of her.
"Yeah. Anyway, we are quite a bit closer to that group than we were yesterday. Yet they are on a different circle than we. Yeah, I don't know how it happened, but your blizzard navigations took us further up the mountain. We need to get down." Hermione said.
"Bullshit. We are fine. They must have turned down a little. I would swear that we haven't moved up or down this mountain. Must be your mudblood brain fucking with your view of reality." Draco said. Forget his recent revalation, she was a mudblood, no getting around it.
"Well, actually, I might have been wrong. Did we go down the mountain? Or maybe one of them got lost." Hermione said.
"What the hell are you blabbing about now, muddy?" Draco asked.
"Look, up there." Hermione pointed directly up the mountain, at a speck in the distance, a speck growing larger by the second. "It appears to be coming right at us."
"Okay, let's wait here then. No reason to continue this chase, we can catch them here." Draco sat down, and Hermione followed suit.
Approximately fifteen minutes later, their mistake became apparent. Looking down the mountain, and behind them, they saw the four people walking towards them. Since four plus one did not equal four, Hermione began to panic. "Draco..."
"Not now."
"Draco..." She could see them now, and heard a screech.
"Fine. What?"
"That, isn't human." Hermione was now definitely sure of that. The people below her had apparently heard the shriek as well.
"Then what the, hell, is. It." Draco slowed down as he looked back up the mounain and saw the hairy beast moving in. "YETI!"
"Stupefy!" Was the cry that was flying across the plains of snow while the horrible beast ignored the vast majority of the spells, with a couple seeming to tick him off even more.
"HhhhROARRRR!" The beast bellowed as it got within swiping range of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.
"Of course, death can be resisted in certain points. Particularly the Death Charm, which is a separation of spirit and body, not your standard kill the body spell. It is actually possible to resist Avada Kedavra in theory; and theory alone as no one had a strong enough will to resist it. Also, spells like the stunning spell and expelliarmus can be resisted by simple things, like a stunner may not breach the constitution of a person, and the disarming curse can be resisted by a simple motive of reflex; when the spell hits you you release the wand. Yet it is nearly impossible to resist even the easiest, and no one has resisted these spells as of yet, giants and magical beasts excluded of course..."
"MARHELI!" Draco shouted, remembering the spell he had read about the day before, and had practiced every day since. The spell didn't quite do it's job. There was an explosion like a bomb going off, and the explosion killed the Yeti. Unfortunatley, it also started an avalanche.
"All right, here we go!" Hermione conjured sleds, and pulled them across the mountain by magic. The four below them had done the same, and they were in a race across the mountain. As they met at a point, there was a large amount of rumbling, and a large chasm exploded right in front of them.
The colours! The glazing diamonds that sparkled in the faintest lights, the rubies set with sapphire centers! The glints and shines of the cave! A cave! What a thing to call such sculpted ice that mortal thought cannot contend to match its everlasting wonder! Neither man nor beast to come across the cave was unmoved, for the richness in its walls alone was astounding. The pillars of sculpted ice, and the floor of gold! All the wildest dreams of little children and storywriters came true in this hall, for it was the hall of history. They did not know it, but they had a place were time has no meaning, and all that was, is, and will be, all forms of art and expression were carved into ice and gem, and melded into flowing rivers of precious metal! And the walls! Simply glowing with the lights of a thousand eons! And the wonderful streaks of gold changed hue ever so slowly from gold to silver, silver to platinum, and to the shock of everyone, platinum to Mithril, moria silver. The mere thought of a true existence of Mithril brought to mind all beauty ever told, imagined, or even thought of in this world! Sadly, they passed through the hall of history far to quickly, and realized they were to destroy such wonder.
Though they could never know it, the hall of history was endless and infinite. Yet, infinite though it was in width, not so in breadth, and thus they were able to cross it. Though there is an end to the Hall of History, it is still infinite, and there is only one way to see it all. There are no ghosts of Silverlode, as when they die they come here to learn the history and future of Wizard Kind. At the end were glass statues of every birth-right Silverlode ever, even James. These statues were caught images of the wizard or witch in their finest hour. The statues were filled with liquid Uranium, and gave off a faint green glow as well as reflect light that passed through them.
"Yet magical affects on physics are interesting at best. The idea that Muggles cannot operate devices simply because magic is predominant over the laws of physics is arrogant, rude, and a bit stupid. The laws of physics define magical properties, and the magical properties are simply extensions of those laws. But, like anything else, the magical energies can in fact disrupt the working of standard communication devices, particularly the television and radio. Since these operate on signals, which are altered slightly when they pass through high-magical energy fields, they cannot work in areas like Quidditch arenas. The magic simply disrupts the wavelengths. Yet, another, more interesting point, is brought up. Since the radio can discern between two channels, can it catch a wavelength it is not tuned to? The answer is no. Since the alteration is so little, it is not a wonder that it would be impossible to discern between the wrong station and the right one, and so the radio gives up. There is also a distinct use of infinity here, but I will avoid it. You've been holding that wand incorrectly all of your life..."
Soon after the halls of history, they came across a new cave. This cave was called the "Heart of Everest," and for good reason. It seemed a grubby little cavern, but suddenly a trap was set off! The sound it made was a sort of bang, rather like a cannon. They raced forward, not recognizing the effects of the trap until it was too late.
"Hey. Wha, how the hell did you guys follow us?" Liesel noted the newcomers.
"I don't know. Ask the jackass." Hermione said. "I'm Hermione Granger, and I was tailing this son of a Death Eater, Draco M-" She was cut off.
"Oh. Draco Malfoy's here to get the book for Voldemort." Lauren said. "Too bad we'll have to seal him up in the cave for all of eternity."
"If we meet anymore Yetis, his spell fought them off." Amanda said. "And he's cute." She was making eyes at him, hoping to catch him off guard and without a girl. She felt only minor competition with Hermione, which was not a mutual feeling, as Hermione had NO interest in Draco.
"If we meet more Yetis, we could feed them this twerp and his girl, there by solving two problems with one go; no tag-alongs and no Yetis." David said, almost as if to himself. "But..." he added, in a louder tone, "Until the time comes that either prove treasonous, we'll use their help. Now. What the hell is that tapping?" There had been tapping sounds, almost in a form of morse.
Now they turned and saw the chasm they must fly across. About half way down there was a cut ruby roughly the same volume as the Titanic. This particular ruby, though brilliant and shiny, also released, not shone, released a red light on its own, almost as if to provide testament to its power. They stared in awe at the magnificence of the ruby, soon to be no more. They camped there for the night, on the chasm.
"Okay, now I'm getting the chills. Maybe we should get going sooner." Lauren said.
"Why?" Liesel asked.
"The tapping, it isn't random, it's a signal!" Draco said. "Why, their, their saying, something something something, 'chamber of heart,' something 'bagronk push dug,' something, and 'kill intruders.' Probably not a very interesting conversation to have, as it seems to be mostly to deal with foolish cestpools and..."
"KILING US!" Amanda leapt to her feat, and packed camp with a wave of her wand. "We have approximately no time, as I would rather not end up as the food of whatever,"
"Orcs," Draco interrupted.
"ORCS?" Everyone stared at Draco. "How the HELL do you know orc speech?"
"Dad's a Death Eater. We pick up these sort of things." Draco shrugged. "And the no time approximation was wrong, we have less than no time."
They all conjured a bridge together, with Liesel and Hermione up front conjuring a bridge across the chasm. As they were half way, they saw the orcs on the side they had just left. As the arrows fell about them, Draco, Lauren, Amanda, and David all started firing stunning spells at them. About ten minutes later, they were all on the other side of the bridge.
"REDUCTO!" Hermione shouted at the bridge where it connected with the ground, and someone else used the same spell to blow up on this side of the bridge too. The effect broke the bridge and sent about ten thousand orcs to their doom. To put this in perspective, two orcs side by side would feel a bit crammed. The bridge was almost twenty miles long, and the length of the chasm was never measured, nor the depth.
"That was close!" Liesel said.
"Well, I guess that was the first trap!" David sighed, and turned around, and for the third time since they entered the cave, his jaw dropped in awe.
"Yet another instance of magical energies perverting the world around them are the cave-orcs of the Cave of Life. The orcs had been perverted, more than usual, by the book itself, and the strength they had doubled. And several traps were laid that called these orcish foes to fight. Yet not once has an orc attempted to defile the Hall of History of the Heart of Everest. They seem to know of the awesome power and strength in those halls, of the energies that would annihilate them if they were unleashed..."
The song that Lauren was humming was title "Beastie," and was by a man named Ian Anderson, who makes really, really cool music. His band is Jethro Tull. The song was written in 1982. Go my minions, and listen to the song. Here are the lyrics.
Beastie From early days of infancy, through trembling yearsof youth, long murky middle-age and final hourslong in the tooth, he is the hundred names of terror ---creature you love the least. Picture his name beforeyou and exorcise the beast. He roved up and down through history --- spectrewith tales to tell. In the darkness when thecampfire's dead --- to each his private hell. If you lookbehind your shoulder as you feel his eyes to feast, youcan witness now the everchanging nature of the beast. Beastie If you wear a warmer sporran, you can keep the foe atbay. You can pop those pills and visit somepsychiatrist who'll say --- There's nothing I can dofor you, everywhere's a danger zone. I'd love to helpget rid of it, but I've got one of my own. There's a beast upon my shoulder and a fiend uponmy back. Feel his burning breath a heaving, smokeoozing from his stack. And he moves beneath thecovers or he lies below the bed. He's the beast uponyour shoulder. He's the price upon your head. He'sthe lonely fear of dying, and for some, of living too.He's your private nightmare pricking. He'd just loveto turn the screw. So stand as one defiant --- yes, andlet your voices swell. Stare that beastie in the face
and really give him hell.
Yeah, so the raving old man wasn't so crazed after all. Hey, want to do me a real favor? Recommend this one to everyone, and all chapters EXCEPT one for the next fic; HP Order of Phoenix Revised. They still have to read it, but they don't have to like it. I suggest they hate it, like me! Still, a little below these wonderful words of wisdom are the words "Submit Review" in a Javascript box. Next to this is the word "Go," in yet another instance of java script programming. You need to click on the word Go. And then, you'll get a nifty little pop up that asks you to submit a review. Rave. Hate. Yell. Swear (unless your religion or prohibits it,) Compare my work to the cafeteria food your school serves. Praise my work (though we may lock you up for it,) and you'll be thanked. Defend my honor and my eyebrows will rise. And I will thank you. Tell me what games you like. Just review. That's your job, mine is to supply these rancid fics no one likes. So humor me, and review. Thanks; I'd do the same for you. (Cool, that's our new motto.)
Humdum Dingle;
VP of Product Quality;
Psycopath Developers.
We are sorry that you had to endure two chapters of this fic, as it is not representative of our name. We are in no way related to our owner, mister Psycopath.02, and we hope you go and, not attribute this fetid piece of crap to our good name.
On a side note, I figured out the horizontal lines!
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