Disclaimer: Sigh. I own Hakkai in my dreams. And that's how it's gonna stay. So no, I don't own Saiyuki.

A/N: Wow reviews! Domo Arigato minna san. Hontou ni, domo arigato gozaimashita! I'm happy that there were people who enjoyed part 4.

---Before I begin this part, I just had the weirdest day on the 13th of September. Why? 'Coz I opened my e-mail on the 13th hour (1 p.m.), and found my 13th review up. To make things weirder after I read and reviewed a certain fic, I found out that I just signed my 13th review! Is that coincidence or what? Some premonition maybe? Oh well...

Anyway, I don't think this is the chapter you guys are expecting, but I just couldn't resist. Why? Because I want to see somebody brood some more... Bad Kage...

Waking By Kage Kurokawa

Part 4 Relapse

Shimatta!

Kisama.

Damn you!

You idiot. Was that your perverted sense of humor at work again? Hahaha. Well it was lame. Not at all funny. Cheater. You're one damn swindler, you know that? Maybe that's why you always win at card games. That big, cheating poker face wearing a ridiculous fraudulent smile. Bastard.

You're cheating again, aren't you? Trying to find out in a sick, twisted way if I...

Fine. Guess what? You win okay? You always win. Now cut the act.

You successfully managed to scare the shit out of me tonight. Happy now. I can't believe that I'm looking down at you now, at your pale, serene countenance, as if nothing happened. There's not a trace of what transpired here tonight...

When that baka saru pounded on my door earlier this evening, I wanted to shoot him senseless. Then he yelled something about something going wrong with you, and I froze. Something ticked. I ignored it. I tried to control myself, can't let anyone see me worried now. Can I?

Worried? Whose worried? I'm not worried.

'Yeah right.'

Damn subconscious!

'You're cracking.' It mocked.

Urusai!

' 'Ch.'

I got up and strode to your room as nonchalantly as I can. The kappa's there with a short, fat, bespectacled man who was supposed to be a doctor. What the hell is going on?

Then I saw you lying there, drenched in sweat, running a high fever, breathing heavily, your body convulsing violently. I thinkpaled at the sight. Something clenched. It's getting too difficult to disregard it.

I watched in silence as the doctor go about his job, infusing your body with substance that would supposedly make you feel better...

Afterwhat seemed like eternity, you finally calmed down. I can hear the kappa and the saru breathe out a sigh of relief. The heavy air began to stir.

Until with a grim expression the anvil was dropped. It landed right on target. That pathetic excuse for a doctor said that...

Something snapped... You cannot do this to me! You will not do this. I won't let you. You better get it in that thick head of yours. You may be stubborn. But I can give you a good run for your money there.

'Ch. Here I am now, as always, pacing restlessly in your room in dire need of a cigarette, and bullets to shoot at something. Anything.

By the way, did you know that it's raining again tonight? Baka. It doesn't make anything any better. I applaud your ability to choose the perfect time to play your little joke on us. On me...

But I won't let you get away with this. Not after...

You really think I wouldn't recall huh? But I did. Surprised? I woke up with one hell of a headache but I remembered. I could still feel it. It kept me awake more nights than was necessary. But I pretended it never happened, and I was always good at ignoring things like that. You never spoke of it, because I was allegedly too alcohol induced to recollect any of it. And everything seemed fine afterwards. But something changed and we know it. Subtle changes, but it's there. Heck, I believe that even the two idiots noticed it. They're just scared for their lives to say anything. That kappa is a too sharp for his own good. And damn it, that stupid monkey is becoming a bit more perceptive lately.

But then again, the cover slips every now and then you know. Then you just had to take it all off completely, don't you?

I'm disappointed in you. We've been delayed here long enough. Those dim-witted youkais can find us here anytime. I'm actually surprised they haven't yet. They must be really that dull. So why the hell don't we just leave you here?

'Because you're selfish.'

Shut up!

'You don't want to leave him here because...'

I said, shut the hell up!

I don't want to leave you here because I'm not supposed to. There are two idiots who will never gonna let me live it down if I did. Besides, that hag specifically instructed me to bring everyone there.

'Yes, convince yourself that.'

I said-

'Well you can't really make me you know.'

'Ch.

'How much longer will you last?'

Stupid conscience.

I am going insane. And it's entirely your fault.

You promised me, you idiot! You promised you'd stay and finish this helldamned journey. I took you on your word. I believed you damn it! I believed in you. I won't release from it...

I want to shoot your wretched hide off to oblivion. I'm actually itching for my gun right now, but I ran out of bullets hours ago. Lucky you...

TBC...?

A/N: There... This one's done. Sanzo's mind is too talkative ne? This part left some more questions ne? Disappointed? I know. I am too. Believe me. I really don't know why I did this. Bad, bad Kage. Maybe it's me releasing all those angst and frustration about the papers I had to do. So gomen.

What do you think? Did I just ruin the whole thing? Are you now mad because I kept not waking Hakkai up? I'd really like to know. So please R&R.