Yo!

This is dedicated to those who reviewed my first fic---Kenren19, Yaone-chan, luv-anime-4eva, particularly UltraM2000 & bluejay the first two who reviewed ^_^. I thank you. *bow bow* Soooo, here it is. Another by-product of my fickle imagination.

Sorry Kenren19, if your reading this right now, I don't write yaoi or shounen ai. Gomen gomen.

Disclaimer: I'm not claiming anything except the plot. I'd like to own Hakuryu though. But alas...*shakes head mournfully* Peace!

Presenting...

BULATE!!!!!!!



~~~~~~~Situation...



Drive on a narrow, twisting road on a snow-covered cliff.

"Harahetaaa..." Pause. "Samuiii..." Pause. "Harahetaaa...Brrrr..." Another pause coupled with a little snuggle to Gojyo. "Harahetaaaaaaaa....! Samuiiiiiii!!!"

"Shut up!!!!! You're making me feel colder!!!!", Gojyo bellowed out, shivers racketing his body."Brrrr...cold..."

"Urusai!!!!!" Pause. Snore. Snore. Pause. "Aaaaaaaachoooooooo!" Sniff. Snore.

A blessed moment of silence.

"Kyuuuu..." Sniffle sniffle.

Another blessed moment of silence, quickly broken by...

"Hakkai, harahetaaaaaa...!!"

Said person sighed and smiled slightly with practiced patience. "Haaay, yare yare..."

~~~~~_~~~~~~

Drive through a particularly dense forest.

"Pork buuun..."

~~~~~_~~~~~~

Drive through a desert.

"Ice cream..."

~~~~~_~~~~~~

Stop at some nameless mountain. Camp for the night.

Goku falls asleep after a light meal comprising of a plate of meatballs, two grilled fish, ten porkbuns, and a plate of harumaki. Oh and we musn't forget desert. Half a watermelon.

The others soon follow after imbibing a little sake and smoking no less than half a pack of cigarettes. Excluding Hakkai and Hakuryu of course. (We all know they don't smoke.)

There was silence for half the night with the occasional owl hooting and crickets well, er, making the sounds crickets make.

And then...

"Mmmmmm..."

A seemingly inhuman sound breaks the peaceful scene of midnight.

"Mmmmmmmmmmm..."

There it goes again.

Mumble mumble. A little gust of wind blew from a nose and a slightly open mouth. In and out. In. Out. Another mumble. Another murmur of something unintelligible.

Inhale.

"Yakisoba...", a certain someone exhaled out. "Mmmmm...Siumai..." Snore. "Fooooooood..." Inhale. "Harahetaaa..."

"Uruse baka zaru..." Hic. Snort snort.

A gentle snore. "Mmmmmmaaa...maaaa..."

A hand grips a tessen tightly. "Urusai!!!" Hand tightens some more. "Stupid fools..." Said hand loosens and thrown over the eyes in a lazy, sleepy manner. "Hmph...Can't shut up even in sleep..." Snore loudly.

A pair of luminous eyes blinked in the darkness, taken back by the murmured statement. O.o?!! Look who's talkin'! The eyes close. The creature obviously going back to sleep. "Kyuuuu...", it blew out.

Goku tosses and turns, his dreams filled with scrumptious, mouth-watering delicacies from various cuisines floating around a pastel, heavenly backgound on top of cute fluffy little white clouds.

Paella, steak, spaghetti... To name a few.

His hand reached out to grab a delectable-looking fried chicken leg. When he got it, he grinned, opened his mouth wide and bit into it.

The result was astounding.

"Aaaaaaaarrrghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!", Gojyo shrieked like a pig being butchered as he bolted from his sleeping bag. And found Goku latched on to him, chewing thoughtfully and salivating a LOT on his right arm.

"Aaaaaarrrghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!", he screamed yet again. This time the others also snapped awake.

Hakkai shot up and blinked dazedly. He twisted his head quickly from left to right trying to find the screaming banshee. Unfortunately, in his confused state, his brain neglected to register that he was already squashing Hakuryu's throat with his foot and that the little dragon was choking to death. Hakuryu's eyes bulged out, and struggled to gather whatever strength he had left to quickly barbecue his master to crusty black bits. He succeeded and Hakkai was left coughing up black smoke and wondering what in the seven hells had just occured.

Sanzo had automatically reached for his trusty gun and shot at his surroundings before he could even see what he was shooting at. He then lifted one eyelid open. However, he didn't find any mad, Sanzo-hunting demon. Only a mad, screaming redhead with what looked suspiciously like Goku clinging to him and in the process of chewing his arm off and a soot-blackened Hakkai. He blinked and then promptly went back to sleep after muttering his usual 'Damare'.

~_+!)+~

"I've had it!!!!!", Gojyo screeched out. "This was the third time this week!!!! If this continues, I will have stumps for my appendages!!!! I. Refuse. To travel. With. That...that...that MONSTER!!!!" He finished heatedly. "If we don't do something to fix this, I SWEAR, I WILL MURDER HIM IN HIS SLEEP!", Gojyo vowed seriously, already feverishly thinking of how to accomplish just that.

They had pried Goku off Gojyo earlier and it took thirty minutes to convince him that there was no yakisoba, pork bun, or any kind of food with them and that Gojyo wasn't a delectable fried chicken.

Hakkai just sighed and rubbed his forehead with the heel of his palm tiredly. Much as he wanted peace between his comrades, he couldn't deny the painful (literally) reality of Gojyo's predicament.

If Gojyo wasn't the one being chewed alive, it was someone else. And he recalled all too painfully the experience of being Goku's dream meal. Hakkai slowly exhaled as he brought to mind the many times Goku has drooled on his hair, dreaming that it was some kind of noodles. Or the instances when his jaws were clamped on his arms...or his legs... Hakkai sighed again. Yare, yare...

"Warui, Gojyo." Goku grinned, flashing his fangs at him while holding out a hand carelessly in the classic peace-sign.

He looks SOOOO innocent and kawaii. Like a baby angel flashing the peace-sign. A little apple-cheeked cherub. Equipped with a very sharp and dangerous set of little daggers.

Gojyo opened his mouth to screech at Goku again but the sound of a revolver being loaded and cocked shut him up effectively and faster than one can yell 'Baka Zaru!'.

Sanzo calmly fiddled with his gun as he waited for the chaos to die down. "Now, we talk."

"Nani?!?! The hell are you talking about????? What do you think we've been doing the past half hour, YOU MISERABLE CORRUPTED FAKE MONK!!!! "

"Maa maa, Gojyo." Hakkai said trying to placate the again purple-faced half youkai. Sheesh...this is getting tiring. Is this my only line here? Along with 'yare yare' and...and...and...well...hmmm...I think that's it. Hakkai sweatdropped.

"Hey. Do you guys think that Goku's ah, problem could be medical?" He suddenly asked.

"Huh?" Two voices, one childlike and one adult chorused out. The clicking of a gun being cocked and uncocked resounded in the background. "Hn."

"Well?" Hakkai blinked expectantly. "What do you think?"

"Explain." Sanzo ordered coldly.

"Look at it this way." Hakkai began speculatively. "There can only be three reasons why Goku has an uncontrollable appetite. One, he's trying to make up for lost time, which is when he was locked up in that mountain prison before Sanzo rescued him. Two, he's well, really obsessed with food?" He grinned sheepishly. Before the others, not counting Goku, could grumble, he continued. "Or three, there's something really wrong with him, physically that is."

"Uh huh..."

"Hn."

"What if his genes or DNA......."

"---hormonal imbalances have disrupted an otherwise normal appetite!" Hakkai finished breathlessly.

"Riiight..." Gojyo looked skeptical. "Mind explaining what you said, Professor Monocles, sir?"

"Weeell... it means that--"

"---the baka zaru might have been born with his present appetite." Sanzo cut in. "You brainless kappa."

"Baldie Monk." Gojyo immediately retorted.

"Now, now guys..." Here we go again...

Before a full-blown argument, fight, whatever was born, a voice broke in. "Anou, Sanzo..."

Three heads turned to face the voice. "Anou ne...haraheta..." Goku said pitifully, rubbing his stomach.

The others facefault.

C(^@^)D

Pls review / email me! I need to see if it's good (meaning some of you actually like it)! If not then...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! IT'S YOUR LOSS!!!!!!! (jokin' ^_^)

p.s the meaning of the title will be explained at the last chapter which will be posted up later on.

p.p.s Even if this story is not exactly as nice as it's supposed to be...I'm still gonna continue it! I started this and I damn well better finish it! Right?