Tempest

"What the hell just happened?"

"Um. Hello to you too, Lex. What time is it?"

"Please tell me you didn't know anything about this."

"Anything about what?"

"Dad! He just closed the plant!"

"What? Ow."

"That was my general reaction. The first part, anyway. Where are you?"

"On my way down. We'll figure something out. Just give me—I'll be there as fast as I can, okay?"

&&&

"Hey, jackass."

"What did I do in the past hour and a half to merit a jackass?"

"Guess where I am."

"I sincerely hope not the Wayne Manor."

"Shut up."

"How many guesses do I get?"

"I'm in front of the Talon."

"Oh. That."

"Yes, that. 'Congrats Grads. Now what.' Is that directed at anyone in particular?"

"Well, I thought you needed to see it in black and white."

"And improperly punctuated?"

"That's not my fault. I just asked Lana—sorry, Miss Lang—if she would put up the sign."

"Well, Lana Sorry Miss Lang can't afford a billboard question mark, apparently."

"Why are you there in the first place?"

"I was just driving past and saw it."

"Mmm. Get me a cappuccino while you're just driving past."

"Fine."

"I can't believe that while I'm having an economic and mental breakdown, you're pausing to get a coffee."

"You've been having a mental breakdown ever since you were in short pants. And it's a mocha, not a cofee."

"Just get over here."

"I'm coming up the driveway."

"What about my cappuccino?"

"I already got it. What do you take me for?"

"Someone who isn't that considerate."

"There's a thank you somewhere in there, I just know it."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Hey, could your car take up any more space?"

"The garage is three hundred feet across, Lilly. Find another place to park."

"But I want to be close to the door."

"Have somebody valet park it."

"This is your house, not the Hilton. I'm not valet parking." Pause. "So—thanks, Enrique—what exactly was your reasoning for the billboard?"

"I thought that perhaps you ought to reconsider your plans to waste the entire summer sunning yourself on Bruce Wayne's pool deck."

"So far there're no better alternatives. Hi, there."

"Hi. You can put down the cell phone now."

"You look awful."

"I feel worse."

"Hard to imagine. Here's the cappucchino—wait, this one's the cappuccino. So, Dad screwed you over."

"Yes."

"Well." Pause. "You've still got the Talon."

"That's not as comforting as you think it is."

"That wasn't meant to be comforting. What do you want to do?"

"I don't want these people to lose their jobs."

"Wait. Do you not want these people to lose their jobs, or do you not want them to think you're responsible for them losing their jobs?"

"You still think this is about me winning a popularity contest?"

"Is it?"

"No."

"Okay. Well, then, what do you want to do?"

"First, I have to figure out what Dad plans to do with the plant instead."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if he shuts it down, is he going to sell it, destroy it, leave it vacant? What about the supplies and things that are here already?"

"What does it matter?"

"It lets us know who we'll be dealing with. If he's selling, I have a chance at convincing the new owners to rehire the employees."

"What if they use the plant for something else?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, what if they decide to use the plant as a... I dunno, a different kind of plant?"

"Doesn't make sense. It'd be like using a piece of prime Metropolis real estate and turning it into a park. This location and plant is ideally situated, anyone who buys isn't going to tear it down and make—"

"A park."

"Exactly."

"Okay. What's the second option?"

"Buying the plant myself."

"What's the third option?"

"I'm serious."

"Unless you've got a map to the treasure of the Sierra Madre, I don't see how you've got the cash to do that."

"I don't. But we do."

Pause. "Oh, no."

"It could work. There's enough there, we're both of age."

"Barely! And some of that was supposed to be for my college education."

"Lilly, she left us fifty million dollars each. You could buy a college, if you wanted to."

"We weren't going to use that money until we—"

"I think that maybe we should move up our schedule. He's not going to stop unless I fight back, and fight like he does."

"Fight dirty, you mean."

Silence.

"Let me think about this, okay? I mean, you're... you really think that this plant is worth it?"

"Of course it's worth it. Smallville wouldn't exist without this business. I can't just turn a blind eye to this."

"Lex, I know you love this place. I like it, too, I love the... fields of corn and the nice farmers and I really like Clark, but is he—"

"This isn't about Clark."

"Then what is it about? Beating Dad?"

"It's about not letting him beat me."

Silence. "All right. Okay, I'll do it."

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that."

"You're not going to go back to Metropolis and plot some evil scheme with Dad?"

"Yeah, because what this family really needs is another sociopath plotting revenge on various family members."

"Shut up."

"You shut up. What do we do now?"

"We plot."

"Dammit. I knew I should have worn jeans."

&&&

"...And that should cover the intial holdings, which we'll transfer into an account offshores just long enough to..." Pause. "Lilly? Lilly, are you asleep, or are you just being funny?" Pause. "Lilly?"

Thud. "What! I'm up. What?"

"You were passed out on my flow charts."

"That's gross, dude. Hey, your dictionary's on the floor."

"Nicely spotted. You fell asleep?"

"Um."

"We're plotting, and you fall asleep."

"Well, you seemed to have it pretty well in hand. And once you started saying things like 'subsidiary,' I felt the coma kicking in."

"Next time I'm going to put speed in your coffee."

"You do that." Ring. "Something's ringing."

"I think it's your butt."

"Heh. Hold on." Pause. "Oh, crap... hey, Dad."

"Oh, God."

"Um, nothing." Pause. "Yeah, still at Anna's." Pause. "Um, no. Why?"

"This is the single most painful thing I've ever—"

"Dad? Hold on... Listen, if you want me to break a cue over your head, I totally will, but if you don't, then shut up and let me finish talking."

"All right, fine."

"Thank you...yeah, what?" Pause. "Why did you do that? I mean, he was doing really well! He liked it out here. Out there. I know it's the ass-end of nowhere, but come on, Dad; he's just trying to get his issues worked out." Pause. "Well, I'm a Luthor and I've got issues and you have the therapy bills to prove it." Pause. "Um, okay, but I don't think that'll solve any—okay, I'll see you when you get back." Pause. "No, that's okay. I wasn't expecting anyone to come anyway. Bye." Pause. "Why are all the men in my life such evil little masterminds who can't budget their time?"

"What did he say?"

"He said that he has to come to Smallville and close a business deal, and that he would be missing graduation."

"Oh. Oh, God, that's happening in—"

"In three hours. I've got to go."

"Why are you going, anyway?"

"Um, valedictorian? Giving the award ceremony speech and all? Listen, I'll talk to you later. Let me know what I need to do in Metropolis, so Dad doesn't twig for a while."

"He'll twig soon enough."

To:

From:

Subject: None

I'm writing this while waiting for the damn, awful, irritating as hell stupid-ass ceremony to finish. The speech went fine, by the way; thanks for that rewrite. And yeah, it was a rewrite—you edit like a surgeon with a hatchet. People applauded, but then I have no idea how many people you and Dad paid to applaud, so maybe that's not the best barometer. I don't recognize the speaker; of course, you're probably planning to take over whatever company he's head of. I wonder if I can just leave, and they can mail me the damn diploma.

Dad's probably due to arrive any second. Good luck; try not to pee in your pants. And I wanted to tell you, don't play innocent. He knows you, better than you think he does, because and I'm sorry to say this, you're a lot like him. So do what he thinks he would do in this situation. He wouldn't think you'd come to me, but where else could you get the money? Maybe if he thinks you've tried something that he can head you off on, he'll be whatever that word is you like. Complicit. No, complacent. Compliant? I don't know; this is a very nice little palm pilot but I can't find the thesaurus option.

Okay, it looks like they're going to start the roll call. You'd think with Dad's pull, he would have rearranged the alphabet by now so that L comes first, so I'd get my thing and get out of here. Where's the flagrant abuse of power when you really need it?

"What the fuck is Nixon doing here?"

"What what whaty?"

"Roger. He's back here, he's sniffing around Clark. Again."

"Bumps, listen, as much as I am entertained by the little Gay Soap Opera On The Prarie you've got going with Clark, we actually have real problems right now? Like, Jesus Christ on a popsicle, you want me to do what?"

"I explained it in the email. You're the only one I can trust."

"I don't want to move to Gotham!"

"Sure you do. You would've been living there all summer."

"Yeah, to set up a lounge chair on the Wayne Enterprises roof. Not to... I don't even know what DOO stands for."

"Director of Operations."

"You just want to call me a doo-doo, that's what this is."

"That's a fringe benefit."

"I hate you."

"Looks like you'll have to put off all that fun stuff for a little while, Lilly. At least until your big brother's company is out of the red."

"I hate you and I'm going to learn the art of voodoo specifically so I can practice it on you."

"The doo-doo voodoo?"

"I hate you."

"Looking forward to it."

"So, wait. Roge is back in town? Why's he interested in Clark?"

"I don't know—but you're right, I can't think about it now. Did you talk to Jeremiah?"

"Yes. He says we can move, fast, if we need to—but we can't just run, we have to sprint out of there. Dad'll have his bloodhounds on us the minute an alarm trips."

"How sure are you that we didn't already trip one?"

"Pretty sure. I'm going to dinner with him tonight, so I'll see if I can—"

"Oh, God."

"What?"

"You're going to dinner? With Dad?"

"What?"

"Lilly, you can't hide anything from Dad. You're terrible at it."

"I can so hide stuff from Dad!"

"You know when he knew about your little tryst with Bruce? About four days before you knew."

"Lex—"

"Cancel the dinner, Lilly."

"Look, it's my graduation celebration; after only four days he remembered, so he wants to take me out. It'll look really weird if I say no all of a sudden."

"Tell him you're too hurt and angry that he missed it."

"I'm not like you, Bumps, I actually don't expect people to bend over backwards for me. And if I'm not mad at you for missing my graduation, than I'm sure as hell not going to be mad at Dad."

Pause. "What's that matter with you?"

"It's—Lex, ever since Mom died, I've been the only person in the world who loves both you and Dad. And I'm the only person that you and Dad both love, too. If I do this, if I just... it's hard to choose sides."

"Lilly. You can't back out of this."

"I'm not backing out of this, I'm just having a few—"

"Second thoughts?"

"Regrets. I'll probably never see him again after this."

"Lilly, if he can't forgive you for this, then how much did he love you in the first place?"

"Is that your answer? How much would you have loved me, on Sunday, if I'd said no?"

"I would have still loved you, Lilly. This isn't about—"

"That's all its ever been about." Pause. "Look, just let me have dinner with him. I promise, I won't fuck it up. I just want to be able to have one last meal with him where he actually smiles at me, okay?"

Pause. "All right. I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Hey, isn't tonight Clark's prom?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Maybe he needs someone to fix his bowtie."

"If that's some sort of really bad double-entendre, I swear—"

"It wasn't! Although it could have been. C'mon, Lex, you've barely taken a break to pee for a week. Go outside, take a drive, talk to a friend. You'll feel better."

"I wouldn't bet on it."

"Well, I'm willing to bet my trust fund on it. Besides, dude probably needs help with the bowtie. You're the only guy I've ever met who can actually tie one."

"Dad can."

"No he can't. I'm always having to do it for him, his fall apart in about ten seconds. Go on and talk to him."

Beep. "Lex, it's me. Listen, Dad's on the rampage. He just—he found out. And if you even think for a second that I told him, I'm going to string you up by your nostrils. I think he got to Jeremiah somehow. Anyway. Um, he's on his way down, and he's going to—I can't tell you what he's gonna do. Just get out of there. Now. Now."