Chapter Six - Changes
Fortunately, in the end I didn't have to get out home. My parents almost had a heart trouble when they were know about the muggle dead nearby home, and really wanted to make me live with some relatives at Bristol. You may find truly passionate what Potter said me, but I didn't believe in a word. And we had a fight again for that reason.
-At last, Evans, what's the matter with you? - he asked, when my reaction was just a sarcastic smile and a "Hum!", that I dared to exclaim. - What do you think about me? That I'm a monster without any feelings whom wouldn't find terrible if you'd die by Avada this summer vacation?
-You wouldn't want to know what I think about you, Potter. - I answered, realizing then that my smile was annoying Potter until the extreme.
-Why not? Would it be anything so horrible? Or perhaps you just don't want to assume that you're fell in love for me?
When he said so, I became really furious. Really. The sarcasm vanished from my face and I stared at Potter firmly. My parents could arrive home anytime.
-How do you dare to IMAGINE that SOMEDAY I could fall in love for you, Potter? Did you incidentally beat your head when you came flying with this damn broom? Get out my house NOW. I don't support to look to your face anymore!
Potter looked to me, either his full of himself face becoming in a defensive one.
-Are you expelling me?
-Have I to be clearer? Do you want me to draw a map to make you understand?
He looked to me, seeming really tempestuous, put his hand on his broom and went to the door, holding his Invisibility Coat with the other one. When he reached the door, Potter looked to me and said:
-See you at school, Evans.
Said that, he dressed the coat and got up the broom. I just heard his rustle flying.
Mom said me, at back to Hogwarts eve, that I had changed a lot that summer, and used to blame that dead muggle who Potter and I found of it. I tried to me smart, changed the subject saying that I was only scared with all that sixth year stuff. I had received the results of the O.W.L.s a little time ago. Acceptable in Potions, Charms and Aritmancy, Exceed the Expectancies in Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts… Good grades, great even.
I don't know if I really had changed. I just had became a little bit more startled, perhaps more careful, and I avoided that square for the rest of my holidays. But my mom used to say that I had became more reserved. I didn't know what she was talking about until the following day, when I came back to the 9 ¾ Platform, to take the Hogwarts Express.
I didn't have much difficulty in take a cabin because I arrived early, nearly half of an hour before the time to leave. I stood silent there, my face against the glass, watching people reach the platform, passing through the wall. I almost had a heart brake when I heard someone talking to me.
-Hi… Lily?
Startled, I looked to the doorway, from where Remus was looking to me too, seeming very surprised.
-Ah, hi. - I answered.
-Did I startle you?
-Was it so perceptive? - I told him. - Come on, sit here.
Remus kept looking to me carefully when he sat down. He seemed to be examining a positively dangerous monster, that could attack him anytime.
-What? - I asked. - Why are you looking to me this way?
-It's nothing. You are just seeming… different.
-Different?
-Yeah, I guess that's it. Did anything happen these last few days?
I stared at Remus, wondering how he could see through me that way. Before I could answer, he himself said:
-I can realize that your answer is yes. Normally you'd never get startled without laugh after. You always do so.
-How do you know?
-I did never realize that until now, when you didn't do it. - Remus responded, with an appeaser smile.
I showed a shadow of another smile, thinking in how some people could be so observant and realize the things as if they were written on our forehead.
-You can tell me what happened. - Remus continued. - And if you want me to keep a secret, I'll do.
-It was nothing. - I finally answered. - Nothing. Really. You are imagining things.
Remus stared at me, rising an eyebrow.
-All right, it's a lie. - I let on, before I could find a way to control myself. - But do you care if I do not want to talk about this affair?
-Ah, rather now. For me it's alright. - he said. - And if you'll want to talk about it other time, I'll be all ears.
-Thanks. Now, where are your friends who never get far away from you?
-I don't know… I think they didn't arrive yet. Sirius and James inclined to be very late, and Peter shall had lost himself somewhere, taking his personality in consideration.
-Look, if I'd have a friend who would be used to talk this way about me I wouldn't need any enemies…
Remus gave a laugh which had a bizarre likeness with a howl.
-They don't feel offended with it. They know that's the truth.
-What's what I know here? - said a new voice.
Have I really to tell you who was?
-Hi, James - Remus greeted him. - How were your holidays…?
-Ask Evans. - Potter answered. - She'll know to answer.
I just grew furious and turned to the window. Remus regressed to look at me that careful way.
-Lily, does what he said have something in common with…
-Remus - I interrupt him. - do you remember that I asked you don't to talk about that?
-What? - Potter talked. - Didn't you tell to him yet, Evans? Well, so I myself do: Evans and I found a muggle dead by Avada Kedavra nearby her house.
Saying that, he sat down beside me, surely without any permission, again. A nearer centimeter and I'd get out there that very moment. Remus stared at Potter, stupefied. I wasn't looking straight at him, but I could note that, even I was watching Alice reaching the platform.
-You what…?
-Yeah, it was quite so what happened…
-Remus, do you know when we'll have to go to the prefects flatcar?- I tried to change the conversation.
But it didn't work, after all Remus' surprise and interest had been awoke. I had to tolerate Potter there, telling him the entire story, starting when I almost dashed with him until when Dumbledore left my house, omitting, of course, that stupid thing he said me then.
-Lily, so you… could be dead now?
-Well - I muttered, very aversion. - that's always a possibility when someone is alive.
-I… I'll look for the Head Prefect. - gaped Remus, visibly doesn't knowing how he should react at it. - And later I come to take you to the prefects flatcar.
And he left, nearly stumbling on his own feet.
-Well, it seems that I really frightened the good Mooney.
-What?
-Oh, nothing, forget it.
-Besides, Potter, may I ask you what are you still doing here? I didn't remember that I had invited you to sit with me, and I neither remember that Remus could have done so any time.
-Don't worry, Evans, I have my own flatcar where I use to stay… - Potter said, pulling out his wand when the train began to travel.
-What will you do? - I asked, a little bit interested.
-Nothing special… Coloportus!
I rose, suddenly furious again.
-Potter, may I ask why the hell did you lock this door?
I repented to had risen when he rose too and stood very near me, corralling me against the window. The train speeded up, and now I could only see trees and the vegetation there out.
-I think, Evans - said Potter, looking to me in a way that made me feel shrunken, almost defenseless. - that you are a great stupid for had denied to go out with me till this day.
I couldn't shun. I had to show genuine surprise, I hadn't time to hide it behind my usual sarcasm.
-Potter, what darn are you talking about? - I asked, recovering myself.- You know very well that I don't support to see you in front of me!
-Maybe after you change your mind.
-I am warning, Potter, move back. I'm really warning. You won't want to see me truly angry.
-I already know your angry side, and it's not this one in which I'm interested now.
I tried to set my hands inside my robes, to take my wand, but I hadn't time, because at the next moment Potter came TOO near, really. Then I tried to beat him with my own hands, but he let fall his wand on the floor behind him and held my wrists with the greatest easiness of the world. All of that happened in fractions of seconds, very fast, and it's very strange that I remember every detail. That's strange to remember that he held my wrists but then freed one of them to touch my face… And then how I realized this robes touching mines, and how that sensation was new… And then how he brought near my chin of his, seeing that I apparently gave up to resist… And, above all, it's strange to see how I remember the way how he kissed me, slipping the hand which was on my chin to my nape.