Part 4
Spike woke in a daze wondering where he was. He knew dusk was upon him but he felt trapped, confined and started to lash out at his prison.
Angel woke instantly "Shush it's me, childe, your safe."
Spike slowly gathered his bearings in his sire's arms "Sorry, been...a while, you know." and relaxes into Angel spooning with him.
"Yea. You ok with this?"
"Yea, been to long."
"Far too long." Angel nuzzles his neck enjoying the skin-to-skin contact, and a feeling of peace, home. As always it doesn't last. Spikes hyperactivity kicks in.
"Right, time to move, lots to do." Spike stands naked, Angel groans and gets hard, it always amazes him that Spike has this power over him. He rolls over onto his stomach and listens as Spike turn the shower on and growls
# God I want him so much. Would it be wrong if I went in and joined him? Just thinking of the water cascading and caressing his body... ARRR I need him, want to take him, have him under me, screaming my name in pleasure as I pound into him hard and fast... Oh god what he does to me, why after all these years can he still reduce me to a pile of jelly? Well the part of me that is not rock hard.
Must stop this, he's not ready, needs time to sort his head out. I mean he's just got his soul back. He's going to need some time to get used to it, took me a long time to get used to mine. Not really sure what difference it will really make, think he's always had one deep down inside, just never let it out, mainly cause of what Angelus taught him... God I was a bastard.
My Boy, always wanting to please, making sure everyone is happy, but never doing what he wants to do deep down inside. Well, things are going to change, they have to. We both have souls now and we have a chance to start again, as equals, wonder if he still wants me? What if he doesn't? Could I give him up again just as I've found him? What if he wants Buffy instead? What if she still wants him? Not sure about this rape thing, she didn't seem that distraught, more like she was using it to score points. Trying to cause trouble.
But he said he didn't know if he loved Buffy? And if I ever lay eyes on Riley Finn again I will kill him, well may be not kill him, soul and all won't let me, but I think a bit of torture is in order. Maybe I'll cut a few bits off him and see how he likes it, yep Angelus can come out to play for a bit teach the son of a bitch what it means to mess with what's mine!! But is he mine? I don't know. I want him to be mine again, but does he want to be mine? My head is filled with all these questions and more, but no answers. What am I to do? What will I do?...Suppose I'd better get up and go see Buffy. Cause that is going to be a lot of fun. When did everything become such a mess? #
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At The Summers Residence
"You ready?" Angel asked Spike as they drew near to the house
"As I'll ever be." Came a nervous reply.
"We don't have to do this if you don't want to...if you don't feel up to it, we can just walk away..."
"Angel stop," exasperated, Spike turned to Angel. "Please stop worrying, nice as it is, I'm not a fledgling anymore. I have to do this. I owe Buffy an explanation and if we are to be of any use to Little Bit then I have to do this."
"You may not be a fledgling anymore but you're still My Boy." A shiver ran through Spike as Angel spoke those oh so familiar words "I do worry about you. I always have, always will." Spike put his hand on Angel's cheek, tilted his head, blue eyes searching for the truth in in Angels word.
"I know you do love, but sometimes you have to let go a little." Spike sighs, turns, and shakes his shoulders and stands up straighter as if he's putting on an old comfortable jacket.
# Wonder where his ever present Duster is? He looks kinda fragile without it, smaller, younger, less the Big Bad and more, William, doubt he even realises it. God I'm dreading this. #
Angel takes a deep breath and the two vampires walk up to the Slayer's house and knock.
Dawn answers the door and invites them in, everyone's there. Willow is sitting next to Xander on the sofa looking very pale and lost. Anya is on the other side of the room in the armchair giving Xander dirty looks. Buffy's standing in front of the fire with her arms crossed looking very defensive. No one moves or says anything. Eventually, Spike, standing in the doorway with Angel behind him takes a deep breath and breaks the silence.
"Right. Before I start, and for the record, the last you saw me, I was a mess—out of my head, I admit it."
"Do not start by saying you're sorry." Buffy said aggressively
"I didn't come here to atone." States Spike.
"Then what the hell do you want?" accuses Buffy.
"Well that's the question isn't it? I'm here to help."
"Help with what?" Buffy snorts.
"Well I was hoping you'd tell me. You're the slayer. Connected to the visions. Long line of worthies, right? I'm just a guy with his ear to the ground, and even I can feel it. Something's coming. I don't know what exactly, but something's brewing. And it's so big, ugly and damned it makes you and me look like little bitty puzzle pieces. I mean, if I'm wrong, say so. Lovely. No hard feelings. I'll go out that door and you can lock it behind me with any spell you like. So, am I wrong?"
"Everything about you is wrong, Spike." she says bitterly.
"Look." Angel makes his presence known, by moving to the centre of the room, standing to his full height, staring at Buffy, and coldly states. "If you don't want help just say so, we will go. There is no need to be bitchy."
"BITCHY...BITCHY!!! "Buffy with her hands on her hips, practically spits the words out like punches "Where the hell do you get the right to come in here and tell me I am being, BITCHY? You should be defending me against that thing, that monster, after what he did to me. He's an evil soulless creature who doesn't deserve to be on this earth, let alone in my house!"
"Buffy STOP!!!" Angel roared. There's a squeak from Dawn and Spike takes her hand in reassurance. Silence descended on the room. Angel sighs, calmly asking "Do you think we could sit down and talk about this like adults?"
"Fine, what ever." Buffy says flippantly. Dawn pulls Spike to the sofa, Buffy perches on the arm of the chair with Anya and Angel grabs a chair and sits.
"Right." Angel taking a deep breath. "First of all, I don't know the full ins and outs of what's been going on here for the last few years. I know some and what I do know I don't like. Things have changed since I was last here. Now before you all jump down my throat, I'm not judging anyone, but...." Angel turns and looks at Spike "Can I tell them?"
"Sure" came the quiet reply from the sofa.
"Spike's changed." Buffy snorts, Angel ignores her. "Spike's changed he has a soul."
That did it; the whole room erupts into chaos again with questions and accusations flying around the room like leaves in a storm. Spike just sat there quietly watching, waiting for the calm to return.
"How did you get it?" Dawn asks timidly as the room quiets down.
"I fought for it." Angel stares in shock, he thought that Spike might have been cursed like he was; it never entered his mind that Spike wanted his soul. Why would any demon want a soul? No guilt, no remorse, no pain.
"What do you mean you fought for it?" Angel asks cautiously
"I went to Africa, saw a demon and did some trials to get my soul back."
"Some trials." Buffy snorts, "Anyone can do a few trials, my whole life is one big trial..."
Angel bowed his head. "Shut the fuck up Buffy." He knows what Spike is talking about and it isn't something to be taken lightly. All eyes travel to Angel. "You have no idea what you are talking about do you?" he questions "Tell them Spike, what these trials involved."
"No" came the weak reply as Spike slouched further into the sofa hoping it would swallow him up whole.
"Tell them now Childe" Angel's voice was like nothing the others had never heard before and sent shivers down there spines. Spike knew all too well. It was a Sire's command and you obeyed no questions asked.
Spike stood and began pacing, biting his nails.
"Right...the trials...Well, first I had to fight a demon. Look Dawn shouldn't be here she doesn't need to know."
Dawn jumps up from the sofa defensively. "No, I want to know."
"Bit it ain't all roses."
"Never thought it was."
Spike nods and continues. "Had to fight a demon, his hands were balls of fire, he was fun," Spike grinned "Quite easy really, didn't seem like it at the time. Mind you, didn't know what was to come." He chuckles softly to himself. "Well killed him then a few more came, killed them too, I mean after all its what I do best init?
That's when the bastard decided to try something a bit different. Sent in the scarabs. They ate me from the inside out. Weren't nice that, little bastards crawling around under me skin." Spike shivered at the memory "Well finally figured out that if I cut a slit in my stomach they would come out." A puzzled look crosses Spikes face. "Don't know why, didn't really care just wanted the buggers out so I could kill them.
"Then the real fun started bugger sent in a human. I mean come on, give a bloke a chance, couldn't fight him, tried but the chip kept firing. Bastard gave me a right good beating nearly had me he did. So I drew on the only thing I had left, magic, had nothing else to throw at him. Well to cut a long story short, finally found a way to kill him with out the chip going off..."
"You know magic?" Interrupted Willow with her eyes wide open in astonishment.
"Of course." Spike stops pacing. Then seeing the gob smacked faces continues. "For fucks sake, I spent over a hundred years living with Dru. Do you seriously think I would still be here if I couldn't work a few spells to stop her when she went off on one?"
"Not just a few spells Spike," Angel said thoughtfully "You and I both know that you are probably just as powerful as Willow."
"Suppose." Spike pouts "Never really thought about it. Anyway don't like magic, always consequences, a price to be paid." He muttered, "Well after the human I think the demon just gave up, I fought a few more times, then got my soul back." Spike sits back down, Dawn moves closer.
"So you see Buffy not a few trials." Angel looks Buffy straight in the eye and a shiver runs through him at what he sees there. "If Spike had lost he would have forfeited his life. Not only that, but do you have any comprehension what it takes for the human part of a vampire to over come his demon? To want something so much that you are willing to give up all that you are to be something else."
"And why should I care? Please tell me I'm dieing to know." She says sarcastically
"Hay, hang on a minute." A confused Willow said "If you could do magic all along, why did you kidnap Xander and me to do that love spell on Dru? Why didn't you just do it yourself?"
"Yeah Fangless why did I get a nice clonk on the head if you didn't need us?"
"Oh bloody hell." Turning to Angel "Told you I didn't want to tell them."
"Well how was I supposed to know?" Angel said defensively
"Um, excuse me but waiting for an answer here and has anyone else noticed that Dead Boy and Dead Boy Junior aren't at each others throats, or is it just me?"
"Shut up Xander" Buffy snapped turning to stare at Spike who was once again hoping that the sofa would swallow him whole. "We're waiting, can't wait to here this one."
"I was EVIL you know the Big Bad, what does it matter, was ages ago, can't rightly remember."
"Spill Spike or I'll beat it out of you." Buffy threatened. Angel started to stand but with a look from Spike promptly sat back down.
"No Buffy, you won't, not any more." Spike said with deadly calm.
"Don't give me this shit Spike. You know you can't beat me in a fight one on one." Came the flippant response
"See that's where you are wrong." Spike rose swiftly to his feet, Buffy stood clenching her fists. "Do you have any idea what I'm capable of?"
"Believe me, I'm well aware of what you're capable of."
"I'm talking about me. William The Bloody, not Spike. The real me." He snarls, hitting his chest. "You see, you've never met the real me. You got off easy." Spike inhales deeply. "Do you know how much blood you can drink from a girl before she'll die? I do. You see, the trick is to drink just enough to know how to damage them, just enough so that they'll still cry when you..." Spike chokes down bile, tears glistening in his eyes. "'Cause it's not worth it if they don't cry. You wanna know what I've done to girls Dawn's age?" Silence "This is me Buffy. Have you ever really asked yourself why you can't off me? After everything I've done to you, to people around you?
"No? Shall I tell you? It's 'cause you can't, I'm better than you, stronger than you and faster than you. Spike is just a mask I've worn for far too long. I enjoy the challenge, the unpredictability that Spike brings. Makes life fun. The problem with you Summers is that you've gotten so good. You've started to think you're immortal. Well I'm here to tell you, you ain't, and I could kill you as easily as I killed those other slayers. Soul or no soul."
"You are no one." Suddenly Buffy's fist flew through the air and punched Spike on the nose. Spike didn't move, didn't even flinch. A slow trickle of blood seeps slowly from his nose, the only sign that anything had happened. The tension in the room rose as they all waited to see what would happen.
"That was the last and final time you hit me and get to walk away." Spike swung around swiftly and went out into the night.
"That was really stupid." Angel said thoughtfully.
"What?" Buffy turned to face Angel accusingly. "How can you just sit there as if you and Spike are friends and have a go at me? You hate each other."
"Hate is such a strong word but Spike and I have never hated each other."
"Then what the hell do you call what happened a few years back?"
"That was a spat, Spike was pissed at me, nothing more and certainly not hate. Had it been hate one of us would be dust right now, probably me." Angel said sadly "It's complicated, always was."
"Then uncomplicate it, and I for one don't believe that Spike could kill you."
"Not sure I can uncomplicate it. It's not that easy. One thing I can say is that your right, Spike could never kill me. I need you all to listen very carefully and heed what I say. Especially you Buffy." Angel said seriously "You were very silly tonight hitting Spike like that. I suggest you never do it again.".
"I'm always hitting Spike, what's changed?" said Buffy carelessly.
"Everything's changed, especially Spike." Angel sighs. "He is willing to let William The Bloody out to play and right now you, Buffy, are his main focus. It's true what he said, you have never met the real him. Angelus has, and he's rejoices at the thought of William The Bloody coming out to play." Angel pauses "I on the other hand shudder with fear. I know what he's capable of; he's a cold-hearted malicious killer. Once he sets his sights on something he doesn't stop until all around him are dead or dying and he doesn't care who he has to kill in order to get what he wants. He's like a robot; single minded, determined and silent.
He's not this stupid fuck up you all see as Spike. If he was do you honestly think Angelus would have kept him around? Don't be stupid Angelus would have staked Spike in an instant. Angelus doesn't suffer fools lightly." He takes a deep breath. "William The Bloody is a vicious, intelligent and highly capable killing machine." Angel rose to his feet. "I'm going to tell you something now and I want you to think long and hard, last time you met Angelus he was...slightly insane. If you thought it was bad then, think again. If you ever meet William The Bloody and I pray that you never do. He makes Angelus look like a pussy cat." With that Angel swiftly left the house.
"Well that was fun, I just love these little chats with the Evil Dead." Xander chuckles softly
Dawn stands "You shouldn't have hit him Buffy. HE didn't do anything wrong." She accuses.
"Didn't do anything? He's a vampire and I'm the Slayer that's good enough for me. I know he can't touch me; he's not good enough. I can take Spike out in a second if I wanted to."
"Did you listen to a word Angel said?" asked Dawn in exasperation "It's not about Spike, it's about William the Bloody." Dawn's voice quivers as a shiver runs through her.
"What do you know Dawn?" Asked Willow with a frown on her face.
"I don't know anything, but I think I might have seen William the Bloody in action."
"Okay, huh?" came a rather confused sound from Xander
Dawn sits back down on the sofa.