Part 11

Spike woke early, it was just becoming light out and he knew he hadn't had any where near enough sleep. Carefully extracting himself from Angel's arms he shakily stood and went down stairs into the kitchen and nearly fainted at the sight before him. There were pots and pans with god knows what in them burnt to the bottom, plates, cups, bits of food stuck to the work surface. It looked like a war zone.

Spike sighed, gone were the days of quiet contemplation, to be filled with mess and madness in his sanctuary of peace. He found a semi clean mug, rinsed it out and set about filling it with blood. After the microwave pinged he opened the door removed his mug and sat at the kitchen table.

Bloody Xander Harris. It's his fault my kitchen looks like this. You would of thought one of the others would have stopped him, even better cleaned up after the whelp, but no I've filled my home with a bunch of hormonal teenagers who don't have a clue what tidying up is let alone what cleaning is. I mean I've seen Bit's room, don't know why the floor would want to wear that many clothes looked more like a junk sale than a bedroom...I'm not tiding up this mess they made it they can clean it...I'm not. I'm going to be strong, not touch a thing...I'm just standing so I can...check how my feet feel...bloody hell they hurt...I'm not walking over to the sink. Nope I'm just testing my feet...I'm not moving the pot honest...Oh bloody hell who am I kidding I can't stand this. It's making my skin itch just looking at it. Right where to start.

Spike was half way through the washing up when Dawn walked in and started giggling at the sight. "Now there is something I never thought I would see."

"Don't know what your laughing at you get to dry up." Spike smirked as he saw Dawn's face fall. "Tea towel's hanging over there pet," He said as he pointed with a bubble-covered hand. Dawn grabbed the tea towel and started drying up.

"Can you do me a favour pet keep the whelp out of the kitchen, in fact keep him out of the library as well would you. I don't want to have to reorganize it when you're all gone and I doubt very much whether he knows his alphabet let alone what the term alphabetical order means."

Dawn smiled, "Sure I'll do my best, library should be easy but the kitchen that might be a bit more difficult you know Xander only thinks of one thing and that's food."

"I know pet, but thanks for trying." They continued sorting out the mess in silence.

"Spike?"

"Yeah." Seeing Dawns conflicted face he said, "Just say it luv."

"Is what Riley and you said...Is it true? Did he..."

Spike interrupted her, "Look pet t'was nothing, ain't like he's not done it before you know. Besides it's over and done with. In the past and all that rot."

Dawn turned to him anger blazing behind her eyes, "What do you mean he's done it before?"

"Um..."

"Spike spill." She stood there with her hands on her hips.

"Look luv there's not much to be said except Riley and I have a lot of history and none of it is good."

"But I thought you two were kinda friendly, weren't you?"

Spike snorted, "Riley and I were never friends no matter what it may have looked like on the outside. Now get a move on, you're slacking."

Angel walked in and the conversation was dropped.

"What are you doing? You're meant to be resting." He walked up and slipped his arms round Spikes waist. Spike leaned back into Angel's chest enjoying the solid feel of his sire. Suddenly the door banged open and in walked Xander.

"Out, you are barred." Dawn said marching up to Xander.

"What do you mean I'm barred? You can't bar me I'm hungry, just let me make some toast, or cereal."

"No way mister, after the mess you managed to make last night Spike has barred you from the kitchen and it's my job to see that you do as you're told." Dawn said while slowly forcing Xander to turn round. "Besides we don't have any toast, milk or cereal."

"But...but that not fair I'm not the only one who made a mess." He protested.

Spike swung round with a saucepan in his hand and said. "So could you please explain to me why one of my non-stick pans has so much crap caked to the bottom of it I need a chisel to remove it?"

"Um...yeah...well you see that wasn't..."

"Out whelp before I get really mad." Xander started to back away of his own accord with Dawn sneakily following, she hated drying up.

Spike sighed, "Looks like you call drying up duty luv." Angel looked at him with a face of disgust. "Don't look at me like that." Spike said throwing him a clean tea towel. "I'm the one doing the bloody washing up." Angel smiled and picked up a bowl and started drying it. Then there was an almighty crash from the sitting room. Spike spun round and stalked out of the kitchen Angel close on his heals

"Xander Bloody Harris I am going to kill you." Spike yelled as they entered the sitting room and saw a glass vase smashed into a million little pieces. Xander standing over it with a face like a deer caught in headlights.

"Oops...sorry." He shrugged his shoulders, "I was just..."

"Yes you were just what, amaze me whelp what were you doing in order to break my, and might I add, very bloody expensive vase?"

"Um...oops." He tried again.

"That's it outside now before I break you into a million little pieces."

"But I haven't had breakfast yet."

"I don't give a shit outside now while I still have a house left standing."

Xander looked like a lost puppy as he walked out.

Spike sighed, taking pity on the lad and called out after him "Give me five minutes and I'll Xander proof the sitting room then you can come back in alright?"

"Yeah. Look I'm really sorry."

"Fine just go."

Spike and Angel started walking round and picking up anything that was breakable. Dawn walked in and asked, "What happened?"

"Xander broke my vase, I thought you were going to keep an eye on him?"

"I went up stairs to get dressed. Where is he?"

"I sent him outside." Dawn and Angel started to laugh

"What's so funny?"

"You, you're like a mother, first whingeing about the mess the kids have made then telling Xander off and punishing him. It's kinda cute." Angel said wrapping his arms round Spikes waist.

"Bloody hell, that's it I'm going back to bed." With that he stomped, well tried to but his feet hurt too much, out of the room.

Angel and Dawn shared a sly smile between them and carried on Xander proofing the house.

Spike woke with a start, "Bloody hell," he mumbled as another door slammed shut. "Can't I get any peace and quiet?" Groaning Spike slowly got out of bed and went down stairs. Dawn good as her word was blocking Xander as he tried to get in the kitchen and from the sounds of it most of the house was in there. Spike quietly slipped by and went into the dinning room and closed the door. Checking that the room was empty he walked over to the far corner and pressed a catch, which opened a hidden door. Spike entered and pulled the door closed as he descended the stairs. At the bottom there was another door. Spike took a deep breath and opened it.

He entered the small room devoid of all furniture, books stacked in piles all higgle-de-piggle-de. There were scatter cushions and beanbags piled up against one wall with a huge king size duvet. The lighting was dim, giving off a comforting glow. Spike took a deep unneeded breath and closed the door with a resounding click. This was his sanctuary, his little bolthole where the outside world couldn't affect him. The only place in the world where he could let all the masks and bravado fall away and just be himself, with out anyone knowing. He walked over to the make shift bed pulled the duvet back and crawled in. He lay there listening to the silence. Slowly letting the walls in his mind crumble. Tears started to roll down his cheeks, slowly at first then the dam finally broke as a huge sob ran through his body and the tears fell in unstoppable torrents. Spike curled in on himself and rocked himself gently back and forth, heaving huge sobs of sadness and pain.

Angel was in the kitchen going mad. Why did they have to be so noisy, shouting and screeching? He was beginning to wonder if some of them weren't deaf, because he could think of no other reason why they had to be so loud. The microwave finally went ping and Angel sighed in relief took his mug out, fought his way past Xander and upstairs to the relative quiet of the bedroom. He opened the door carefully so as not to wake Spike, only to find the bed empty. Angel looked at the bed in puzzlement, sniffed and caught his childe's scent; he followed it back down stairs and into the dinning room. There it just stopped, disappeared. Angel frowned, walked out and checked the rest of the house for signs of Spike, when he found none he started to panic. He retraced his steps back to the dinning room and sniffed again. This was definitely the last place that Spike had been. Angel placed his mug on the table and feeling a bit silly when he bent down and checked under the table just to make sure Spike wasn't under there. He knew his childe liked to be in small places when he was feeling vulnerable, it made him feel safe and secure.

Angel straightened and sniffed again this time following the scent, it led to the far corner and then disappeared into the wall. Angel frowned then started running his hands over the panels, he found a niche and pressed. The door swung open and clonked him on the nose, Angel growled as he entered the door and slowly closed it behind him as he descended the stairs. He reached the bottom and stood at the second door and listened. No sound came at first then he heard a sound that tore at his heart, a sob full of pain and hurt filled his ears. Angel waited unsure what to do. Then another sob filled his ears and it was too much. He quietly opened the door and entered the small room. He took in the books scattered around the place and then he saw the bundle of cushions and covers. Closing the door he went over, kneeled down, lifted the cover and crawled in pulling a hysterically weeping Spike into his arms. Spike clung to him, as of he was a rock in a torrent of fast flowing water and sobbed harder. Angel held him close as tears started to fall from his own eyes. After a while they both calmed and the tears stopped.

"You're not meant to be here." Spike said his voice sounding hoarse.

"Sorry, I was looking for you and when I couldn't find you I got worried."

"Glad you did." Spike said snuggling closer. They laid in silence each lost in their own thoughts.

"I like it here, it's so quiet." Angel said. "No yelling, no shouting just...peace. Its good." Angel moved his arm and trailed his fingers up Spikes spine, but before he reached the top Spike drew away and sat up with his back to him and head bowed. "Spike?" Angel asked confused.

"You can't touch me."

"What? Why?"

"I'm dirty and I belong to him."

Angel growled and grabbed him round the waist pulling him close "No, you're mine."

Spike shivered. "Please don't. As long as I wear this collar, he will always be here." He said as he tapped his head.

"Then we find a way to get it off."

"Don't think we can." Spike said simply.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think there is a way to undo the spell that witch cast."

"Then we find a way. Between you and Willow there has to be a way." Angel sounded desperate.

Spike took another deep breath, "Sure luv."

They both sat in quiet contemplation. "So what is this place?" Angel asked while getting a better look around.

"This is my snug, where I come and basically shut out the outside world and allow myself to let go and be me, William Masters the young gentleman I once was." He reached across and picked something up and put it on. Turning he smiled.

Angel felt his cock stir to life at the sight before him, even after all these years; the sight of his Boy wearing glasses and looking so innocent made him hard.

"This is where I come to read, sit, think and right now to get away from that lot of door slamming, mess making, mad chattering, hormone filled teenagers that happen to be up stairs." Spike said in his upper class voice so reminiscent of the boy Angelus had once turned.

Angel couldn't resist and leaned in, their lips met, gently at first. Angel grabbed the back of Spike's head and pulled him in closer, harder, plundering his mouth, relearning the feel and taste. Laying back Angel pulled Spike on top of him hissing as their groins made contact and started thrusting, rubbing himself against the fabric that separated them.

Spike went tense and pulled back, forehead-to-forehead, eyes closed. "I can't do this not now not here." He said simply.

Angel took a deep unneeded breath trying to rain in the torrent of emotions carousing through him "I know." He said quietly, "Just stay, here with me, let me hold you, let me just be with you." Angel felt him relax and held him close, relishing the feel of being smothered by his childe.

Angel woke feeling squashed. Then he remembered and relaxed into the feel of his boy covering him. He looked at his watch noting the time and sighed. "Spike...wake up," he said nudging the dead weight on top of him.

"Piss off. I'm comfy." Came a sleepy reply.

"Spike we fell asleep."

"Duh, I'm still asleep."

"Spike we've been down here for six hours. The others will be worried."

"Bloody hell." Spike grumbled as he slowly got off Angel, and started heading for the door.

"Um, Spike?"

"What?" Spike asked grumpily, he was sore, his feet hurt and he was pissed off at being woken up.

"You've still got your glasses on grumpy drawers." Angel said smiling at the rumpled fluffy haired looking vampire.

"Oh." He took them off and slipped them into his jeans pocket, and headed out the door. Stopping at the top to listen and make sure no one was in the dinning room they exited quietly.

As they left the dinning room they bumped into a young girl with long brown hair. "Oh hello, I'm Amanda." She said as she made her way to the kitchen.

"Bloody hell there's another one." Spike headed to the kitchen in the search for blood only to find a room full of around ten strangers all munching on junk and gossiping. Spike spun round in fury and nearly ramming into Angel and yelled, "Watcher!! Where the hell are you?" He stalked towards the sitting room to find more strangers. "Where is he?" He asked the girls.

"Where's who?" One of them asked.

"The bloody prat who invited you all here." Spike angrily replied.

"If you mean Giles I think he's in the library."

"Spike calm down." Angel said.

Spike swung round and snarled at him, then stalked to the library wrenched the door open and stopped, his face fell as he looked in and saw his books scattered all over the place intermeshed with Twinkie wrappers, cups of coffee and half eaten donuts. Angel grabbed him round the waist just as he was about to lunge at someone and knock their block off.

"Let me go you great oaf." Spike raged, "I'm going to kill them."

"Spike calm down."

"Calm down. Calm down." He yelled, "Why the bloody hell should I calm down. Look at the place."

"I know love, look I'll have a word with them just calm down." Spike stopped struggling and literally deflated in Angel's arms. Willow, Dawn, Kennedy, and Anya looked on in bemusement. "You calm now?" Spike nodded. "Go upstairs have a shower and I'll sort it out, alright." Spike shrugged out of Angel's arms and dejectedly walked out.

"What was that all about?" Anya asked.

"Dawn could you gather the rest of the Scoobies we need to have a little talk." Dawn left, the others just stared at him.

"Angel is something wrong?" Willow asked

"When the others arrive, I'm not going to go through this twice." Angel stated.

Dawn arrived a few minutes later followed by Xander, Giles and Connor. They all piled into the library and Angel closed the door, to the prying eyes of curious potentials.

"I'm only going to say this once and there is no room for argument." He stated, "Right." He ran his hand through his hair trying to gather his thoughts "Let me explain a few things first. This place has a name, "Sanctuary" and for as long as I can remember Spike has always had a hideaway and he has always called it "Sanctuary", for good reason. This is where he comes to get away from the world, the madness that his life is usually in. Please understand this, Drusilla, Darla and I have never been to any of his "Sanctuaries" this is a privilege he never bestowed on us and trust me when I say it is a privilege. Angelus knew he had places hidden away and no matter how hard he tried to get the information out of him Spike never told, it used to drive him mad not knowing." Angel got this far a way look in his eyes. "But Spike has seen fit to invite us all here.

"This is not Spike's place, if it was the mess, the noise, the confusion wouldn't bother him. This is William's home the Victorian man who likes order and quiet. Not the punk that we all know so well." Angel sighed wondering whether to continue. "This is the place where Spike comes to...well, brake is the only way I can describe it." Seeing a sea of confused faces he continued. "Right not explaining this very well. I'll put it another way...Spike is like a punch bag, throw anything at him and he bounces right back at you, physical, emotional doesn't matter he just absorbs it and stores it up inside. But when he's here its like there is a huge gash in the punch bag and all the sand is flowing out, all that stored up hurt, anger, sadness is flowing out of him and he can't stop it until it's all out and swept away. Then slowly he puts it back together again and he's the Big Bad we all know and love." Seeing comprehension dawn in some of there eyes. Angel decided to set the ground rules.

"So simple rules no food or drinks in the library any rubbish laying about put it in the bin, all washing up to be done as soon as it appears and show a little respect. I know you all see him as Spike the indestructible but he's not, he's breaking inside at the moment, he just won't show it." Angel's eyes raked the group knowing his words were sinking in. "Oh and another thing no one is allowed into the master bedroom with out an invitation. Do I make myself clear? Right lets get this place sorted."

Spike came back down after his shower and found an almost empty house much to his surprise. He spotted Giles sitting in the library with Willow and Dawn he also noted that there wasn't a cup, scrap of food or piece of rubbish anywhere in sight.

"Sorry about earlier." He apologized as he entered.

Dawn got up and came over and gave him a hug "No we're sorry, you know what its like."

"Yeah. So where is everyone? I saw quite a few new faces."

"Xander and Anya took them food shopping, on Angel's credit card." Dawn snickered.

"Speaking of the almighty pouf, where is he?"

"In the basement with Connor having some bonding time, which roughly translates as trying to kick each others butt." She said with a grin.

"What are you lot up to then?"

"Research." Giles said peering over his glasses. "We are trying to find a way of defeating the First and if and what might be in control of Buffy and Riley."

Spike stiffened at Riley's name. "There is nothing controlling Riley." He stated.

"I beg to differ. There was something wrong, that was not the young man we all knew." Giles argued.

"And you have to trust me that was Riley through and through. There was, is and never will be anything controlling him but his own brain how ever small it is." Spike argued back.

"Look I know you and Riley have your, shall we say differences, but you can't tell me that..."

"Look Watcher," Spike interrupted "I know who Riley Finn is and what he is more than capable of and believe me when I say that was him down there making mince meat of me."

Willow went white as comprehension finally sunk in. "But...but..."

"But what, but he's human? But he has a soul? But he's not a monster? So how could he do it? Sorry to shatter your little bubble but just because someone is human does not make him or her any less evil underneath than anything else.

"I do agree however that Buffy is being controlled. So shall we drop this and find a way to get her back on our side where she belongs, shall we?"

"Yes quite." Giles said quietly staring into space.

"Come on Watcher snap out of it and fill me in, what do we know?"

Giles straightened and picked up his notes "Not much I'm afraid a few references here and there but nothing concrete and I must say I'm mightily impressed with your library it's been most..."

Giles's words were lost as the lights went out and the sitting room window was smashed in, five priests dressed in black carrying large curved knives jumped through, at the same time the front door was kicked in and more blacked robed priests barged in.

Shrieks of fright filled the air, as they all moved into action. Fists flew, kicks fell, furniture smashed, in a dance so well practiced it was mesmerizing. Spike snarled as a priest nearly skewered Dawn and knocked him out of the way. Willow ran to the kitchen trying to make it to the basement where all the weapons were stored but never made it as she was flung across the kitchen work surface and knocked unconscious. Giles trying to keep the priests at bay used one of the books as a temporary shield and occasionally to bat them on the head. Then as fast as the fight started it was over with the black robed priests making a hasty retreat.

"Well that was easy, everyone alright?" Spike asked as he helped Dawn to her feet.

"Yes quite" Came Giles's winded reply.

"Willow?" Dawn ran to the kitchen and found the unconscious witch, she felt for a pulse. Giles walked over and checked that she would be all right and nothing was broken.

They heard a moan coming from the basement "Angel "Spike said as he practically flew down the stairs into the basement.

Angel was struggling to get to his feet holding his head. "Connor?" he yelled.

Spike looked around but didn't see him. "He's not here."

Angel collapsed again and Spike ran to his side. "They took him. Oh god. They took him. I don't think I can do this again." Angel sobbed.

Spike hugged him close anger boiling in his veins. "Then we take him back." He stated in voice that could cut glass. "Come on love lets get you looked at and convene the war council."

Half an hour later everyone was sitting, perched or huddled in the sitting room. Xander and Anya had gotten back with the potentials not long after the attack.

"What was it that attacked?" Xander asked.

"They were acolytes of The First known as Bringers."

"So we know The First was behind this?" Kennedy asked as she stroked Willows hair.

"Yes," Said Giles.

"But how did it know where to find us?" asked Amanda "I thought no one knew about this place?"

"The First doesn't need to know where we are, it just feels for our...entities and can find us. Put simply you can't hide from it. If it wants you then it will have you no matter what you do." Spike's head was bowed looking at his feet as he said this so he didn't catch Giles's questioning look

"And you know this because?" Giles asked

Spike looked up, "I read it some where."

"Where?" Giles asked.

Spike got up and walked into the library closely followed by Giles, without thinking he popped his glasses on and started looking through a pile of scrolls. "Ha that's the one." He picked up a scroll all yellow and crumbly with age he quickly read through it and found what he was looking for, looked at Giles and noticed a confused expression. "What?" he asked defensively.

"Nothing, I just thought that you being a vampire you wouldn't need those." He said indicating the glasses. "It's just that in the Watchers books it says that all minor impediments, such as eye sight are cured on the point of turning."

"Yeah well Watchers know shit so unless you want me to read in game face then I need these." He said pointing to his glasses. "Here's that what you want." Spike handed Giles the scroll and they went back into the sitting room. Giles's looking at the scroll in awe as if it held all the secrets of the world, he tried to decipher what it said as he followed Spike back into the sitting room. "Spike what language is this?"

"Dunno."

Giles looked at him took off his glasses and pinched his nose. "Then pray tell us how you read it?"

"Got bored one day and started translating it." Spike said as he plopped himself down on the sofa next to a silent, lack glazed Angel.

"Right, I'm sorry it must be my old age but could you repeat that?" Giles said not quite believing what he was hearing.

"Bloody hell Watcher why is it so hard to believe that I can read and write? I said I got bored one day and started translating it. I do have a brain you know."

"But I don't recognize any of it, it isn't a language I've come across before." Giles muttered.

"That's why I dunno what language it's in, it's sort of a mix really."

"Do you have your notes handy I wouldn't mind having a read through?"

"Don't make notes, look give the bloody thing here and let me read it, then we can move on to how we get Connor from The First."

Dumfounded Giles handed the scroll over. Spike replaced his glasses and quickly skimmed the contents looking for the passage that spoke about The First, found it and began reading

"It says and I quote "It will come again, and again. It is immortal, impregnable and it will always be The First evil to ever walk this plain of existence and the next. You can not run, you can not hide it will find you, consume you, be you." Then it kind of gets kinda wonky bit like one of Dru's visions, mind at least this bloke had the sense to write it down. It goes on to say "Power resides in the temple raised from the bowels of the earth, spewing its power like tentacles around the pit of hell." Again he waffles on, but at the end he says, "Fire will consume the eternal youth and the old ones as the soul's light ignites the air with its love and the earth will shudder and heave." That's you lot." Spike looked up from the scroll at a lot of blank faces and a few curious grins coming mainly from the Scoobies. "What? Ain't you ever seen a bloke read before?" Xander was opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a snarling vampire "Whelp you say one word about the glasses and I swear by all that's unholy I will make you wish you were never born."

"Yes quite." Giles said trying to break the tension that was gathering. "Lets get started shall we? Research first, I also think it would be a good idea if we started to train you girls," He said to the potentials. "Spike I believe that's your department."

Spike jumped to his feet, "That's it?" He yelled, "You're just going to do research and training, what the bloody use is that? We should be out there getting Connor back."

"And how do you propose we do that?" Giles snapped.

"Well for starters we go back to Sunnyhell and ask some questions, and then we kick some arse."

"And what about the Initiative you fool. You and Angel are their number one targets at the moment."

Spike stature deflated like a lead balloon as Giles's words sank in.

"Not only that but you are hardly in a fit state to be going around bashing heads, you've only just started to heal. We also have no idea where The First has taken Connor. I also find it highly unlikely that he, she, it whatever, intends to kill Connor, if that were the case then why go to all the trouble to kidnap him. Use you brain for once will you."

"No I bloody well won't." Spike spun round and walked to Angel, knelt down and said, "I'll go find him luv." Angel didn't respond, Spike turned and looked at Dawn, "Look after him for me." Dawn nodded. Spike stood squared his shoulders and stormed out of the room yelling "Don't wreck my house while I'm gone." Pulled the front door open, "Bloody Hell." And slammed it shut again when he saw the sun, he swung round and stormed back into the sitting room looking for a blanket.

"Spike please just stop for a bit would you." Giles said

"No I bloody won't," yelled Spike.

Giles watched as a frantic vampire started pacing the room, many of the potentials sinking further into chairs so as not to bring attention to themselves. Giles stood and walked in front of Spike making him stop his pacing. Thinking quickly of a way to keep Spike there he said "What about the chip?"

Spike stopped his pacing and looked at him questioningly.

"We don't even know if it's still working or not. What if you bumped into Riley and company and they capture you again then what?"

Spike's shoulders sagged. Then an evil grin crossed his face the same time his fist connected with Giles's jaw. Giles fell to the floor rubbing his jaw, while Spike fell to the floor clutching his head.

"What did you do that for?" Giles asked indignantly.

"Bloody hell." Spike moaned, "Where's the box?"

Willow literally ran from the room, returned with the box and thrust it into Spikes hand. Both Giles and Spike slowly got to their feet eyeing each other warily.

"That Watcher was for tying me up in that flaming bath tub and then shipping me off to Xander's basement and drinking my bloody booze. Now if you will excuse me I have a chip to deactivate and I do not want to be disturbed." Spike stormed out again, ran up stairs and slammed the bedroom door, leaving a rather bemused group of humans and a silent vampire behind.