Cowboy Bebop Session 40

Honky-Tonk Hand Grenade

Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop. But with all due respect I wish you would mind your own business, and stop asking me!

Steve the guitar-slinging maniac's life was quite controversial. Without the upper left portion of his brain, not to mention his lack of kneecaps, Steve was pretty down. A long time ago, before Steve became interested in the guitar-slinging business, he was a circus performer. With no kneecaps he could bend his legs up and scratch his head, but he couldn't do it as well with his right leg. One day Steve was practicing in his "dressing room," the classic closet with "dressing room" written in permanent marker on the door. When suddenly it burst open.

"Steve. Your fired!" said the ringmaster in a Donald Trump voice.

"But why!??!" demanded Steve. Infuriated by the fact that he had served this circus for all his life, he stormed up to the ringmaster on upward-bent knees.

"For the possession of illegal immigrants."

"...How did you find out!??!"

"All the bean enchilada wrappers from Taco Bell were a dead give away." "I know you're beantose intolerant!"

Gasp

It all went level ground from there. Steve packed up his belongings and walked to his apartment. Along the way he ran into someone, someone who would turn out to be the love of his life.

"Hi, I'm Harriet Handgrenade." Said a stout WW2 type grenade, which somehow possessed the ability to speak. Of course this was all in Steve's mind, but it's funny anyway.

Speechless at the rustic beauty of this inanimate object, Steve told "her" to come down to his place and have dinner. Once they got to the apartment, Steve remembered he didn't have an apartment. So he went to his box and wrote "123" on the front to act as a room number. He hoped Harriet wouldn't notice, but how could she? She was colorblind. Inside the "apartment" Steve offered to remove Harriet's coat. Unknowingly, he pulled out the pin. With a few harsh words and a swift explosion, Harriet was out the roof, and gone forever. Without thinking, he slung his $200,000 green Christmas tree guitar out of his box, narrowly missing Harriet's distant cousin, Sir Lawrence Lightpost. He then discovered the joy of randomly slinging guitars at people for no good reason.

At that point, Steve the guitar-slinging maniac earned his title. That was his title before, but no one really knew why. He sticks to the shadows and if you ever get a glance at him, soon you'll have a semi-expensive guitar lodged somewhere in your body's general vicinity. He is a pretty bad aim; so if he does manage to hit a vital organ then feel sorry for yourself because it wasn't your lucky day.

"Lotsa de pizza, baby."

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That was a very special episode of Cowboy Bebop. Focused entirely on the life of Steve the guitar-slinging maniac. I hope you enjoyed it! 'Cause if you didn't...

Nick