Chapter 3: "You told yourself so many times it's okay"

Summer never let Todd hit little Seth, not to say that he hadn't tried, but she always blocked it… always. She never tried to hard to think about what happened when she was knocked out. She just hoped that Todd knew better than to even try to lay a hand on her son.

When she floated back into consciousness this time she noticed that Todd wasn't there… He was probably working the late shift at the auto park.

The cut on Summers lip was chapped, she headed to her bag to get some chap stick… When she opened her bag she was surprised by what she found. Inside there was a brown paper bag. Summer opened it slowly and cautiously. Inside there was a fifty dollar bill, and a card for the LA womens shelter…

Summer couldn't believe it. That woman at the park probably slipped it in. Well on one side she could use the money.

"I don't need help from any womens shelter." She said tossing the card down. "I can do this on my own." She said

On the card it said "The first step is getting help. We are here to help you take it."

Summer had never needed anyones help. She was stronger than anyone knew.

7 year old Marissa and Summer stood outside of their dance class.

"Are you sure your father is going to pick you up?" Mr. Cooper asked her

"Yes." Summer said firmly keeping her eyes on the road.

"Well he's running pretty late, I 'm sure he wouldn't mind if I just drove you home." Mr. Cooper tried to persuade the young girl.

"No." Summer said firmly. "He'll be here."

~ 1 hour later, Marissa and Summer sat on the step outside of the dance studio both swinging their feet slowly back and forth.

"You guys can just go. He will be here." Summer said

"I'm not going to leave you alone." Marissa said

"Why not?" Summer asked

"You're my best friend!" Marissa said to her.

Summer remembered when Mommy said that she wouldn't leave her… but she did. She left her for a bathtub full of red. She left her and swore she wouldn't… Although she didn't believe Marissa she would never let her know it. Marissa was sweet, but then again so was mommy.

An hour later her fathers car pulled up, and he beeped his horn.

"See, I told you that he would be here." Summer said hopping up, grabbing her dance bag.

Jimmy gave an unsure smile, that did not go unnoticed by Summer.

"By Marissa, bye Mr. Cooper." Summer said jumping into a black Mercedes as if nothing was wrong.

Marissa and Jimmy exchanged glances… from that moment forward she was under the Coopers wings. Although she would never admit it.

"I don't need anyone." Summer said as she threw what little possessions she had into a duffel bag.

She looked around the apartment. What would Todd do when he came home and found that she was not there? Was it worth the risk? It had to be… Summer had to believe in something more. There was always something more…

With that as her final thought she picked up her duffel bag, and her son and headed out of the door, never looking back.

She stood on the street corner and waited for the bus to come. People looked at her strangely as she boarded. She took a seat in the back of the bus, and handed Little Seth a toy to play with as she got her bearings together.

"The Mermaid Inn." She said to herself. It was right outside of Newport. She remembered in high school all of the students went there to sleep with each other. Summer had been there a time or two, but never to sleep with anybody. Seth had been her first, and he was way too classy for that.

"How long will you be staying miss?" The man at the counter asked her

"Um, how long can I get with 40?" She asked.

"Half a night." He responded spitting his chewing tobacco in a can. Summer looked in disgust. As she turned away from the man she noticed a hiring sign in the window.

"Can I apply for a job here?" Summer asked never thinking that she would have to resort to this.

"Look, I don't wan' any trouble. Ya look like a girl with sumtim' your runnin' from." The man commented

"I'm not running from anything." Summer said. Really Todd was much of anything. "I just need a place for my kid and I to stay for a while while I'm getting on my feet." Summer said

The man looked her up and down.

"Work Monday through Friday 6am- 2, you get a room and 50 dollars at the end of every week. You're work will pay for the room, and the 50 is what you get extra. Comprendo?" The man said

"Yeah." Summer said nodding her head.

"Good. You're room number 23, meet me here tomorrow morning at 5:45 am. If you're late consider yourself fired and homeless." Summer nodded, picking up Little Seth, and leaving the check in booth."

~11 year old Summer and Marissa sat on the edge of the Coopers pool.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" Marissa asked her friend as they splashed their toes lightly in the water.

"A super model." Summer said confidently. "And I want a rich husband."

"Do you want kids?" Marissa asked squinting to see her friend in the sun. It was summer so both girls hair was considerably light, and they were acquiring a nice tan.

"No."

"Why not? My dad says babies are blessings."

"Cause you gotta push 'em out of you, and then you gotta feed them and play with them and pay for them. It's not worth it." She said seriously. But it sounded like someone elses words and not her own.

"Look." Marissa said pointing to the fence that separated her yard from the Cohens. Sandy, Kirsten and that weird Seth kid were around a table by the pool. They had a cake in front of them. "I guess it's Seth's birthday." Marissa said

"Why doesn't he have any friends over?"

"I don't think he's got any." Marissa said pondering who she had ever seen Seth with besides that weird kid Alan who always ate his boogers.

Summers felt a twinge of guilt. She was never friends with the kid. But he was strange! And ugly! And played with bugs, and got good grades! But still… he was the only one who watched the squirrels like she did…

Marissa went and got in the shower when they were done in the pool. Summer went into her back pack and grabbed a piece of pale yellow paper, and some of Marissas new gel pens she would kill her if she knew she was using.

"Hi Cohen,

We have never really talked or anything like that. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday because I want to be nice. I thought your science project of the stages of mold growth was pretty cool. Happy 12th birthday!"

Summer did not dare to sign her name. She wrote SETH on her best cursive on the front and sat it on his porch before returning to Marissas house unnoticed.