R&R!
Chapter 3: "So be good to try"
Summer pushed open the door to the hotel. It was decent enough compared to she and Todds apartment. Against any of her old standards it was unlivable.
"We're going to be staying here for awhile." She told little Seth.
Summer sat her son on the bed, and watched as he just sat picking lint off of the sheets on the bed.
Sometimes death seemed easier than life. When you are dead you don't have to worry about being hurt, or hurting other people, you don't have to worry about existing! Sometimes she thought that her mother had the right idea.
13 year old Summer Roberts sat on her bed painting her toe nails a metallic pick when there was a knock outside of her door.
"Come in" Summer said not looking up from her task. She noticed that Marissa stood in her doorway visibly shaken up.
She didn't move as Marissa sat next to her.
"Coop. What's wrong?"
"Alan killed himself."
The words numbed Summers insides.
"Cohen's friend? The one that picked his nose until it bled?" Summer asked
Marissa nodded holding back tears. She had not known Alan but was one of the most empathetic anyone knew, so therefore was having a hard time keeping herself together.
"How do you know?"
"Kirsten Cohen was outside of her house, she was talking to my dad, … I over heard her telling him that Alan hung himself yesterday."
Summer couldn't believe it. But then her thoughts drifted to that Cohen kid. How was he doing? She knew how much it hurt to loose someone you love.
"And Cohen?" She asked
"I don't know. I saw him sitting on the edge of the pool holding a plastic horse. He was there for hours but didn't move." Marissa said.
The Funeral for Alan had been a somber one. All of the kids that had teased Alan, and made his life a living hell were there crying over him. It made Summer sick to her stomach although she was one of them. They didn't give a damn about Alan!
She had not been to a funeral since her mothers. Suddenly it all became too much to handle. She found herself excusing herself to go to the bathroom about half way through.
She tip toed down the hall looking for the bathroom. She then saw the Seth kid. He was sitting, back against the wall in a black suit, head in his hands. He looked up when he heard footsteps coming toward him.
Summer saw the boy, his eyes red from crying.
"I'm sorry." Was all that she could manage to say.
Seth didn't respond his eyes were pointed at her but it seemed that thye were looking through her, and Summer did not like it.
She sat down next to Seth. She hesitated before she spoke.
"My mother killed herself." Summer said. Now Seth met her eyes. She had only ever told Marissa about this. Her funeral had been a hush-hush thing. Daddy hadn't wanted to ruin the good family name by getting a suicide point against them. But this was Cohen, who did he have to tell?
"I'm sorry." He said
"I know it sucks, but it gets easier." Summer said.
"How?" Seth asked her
"You forget." Summer said
"You can't forget someone you care about." His voice cracking, maybe because he was crying, or maybe because his voice was changing.
Summer took in his words. Maybe he was right. NO! He wasn't right. Of course you could forget about someone that you care about? Why couldn't she remember mommys face? Or her voice! Seth Cohen was wrong.
"I'm sorry." She said standing up and leaving the sad confused boy alone on the floor of the church hall way.
She quickly found the bathroom now. She looked at herself in the mirror… well there was one thing that she still remembered about her mother. Her mothers eyes, she saw them every time she looked in the mirror.
"Wan' lunch?" Little Seth said looking up at her tilting his head to the side as he spoke.
"Yeah baby." She said picking him up.
She sat him down at the little table under the window of the motel, as she searched her bag for food. She had a lot of packs of saltine crackers and jelly that she had gotten from this diner that they had stopped. She spread the jelly thinly over the crackers for her son. She then went to the kitchen and filled his sippy-cup with water from the faucet.
She sat the meal on the napkin in front of him. He looked up at her.
"I know baby. But just try it. It's not bad." She said biting into a cracker. "See, yummy!"
He just stared at her.
"You don't want to eat! Fine!" Summer said storming away from the table leaving a shocked Little Seth. He had never heard his mother yell at anyone besides his father, especially not at him. Summer sank down into the bed sobbing. Her loose pony tail, had hair falling from random places. Her torn pair of jeans she had since forever hung off of her.
Little Seth climbed from the chair, and over to the bed.
"Mama." He said tugging on her shirt. She noticed that he held a jellied cracker in one hand when she turned over. She looked at him, his eyes were like a mirror. He held the cracker to her lips, but she did not eat it. Then he took a bite of it himself.
"See, yummy." He said eating the rest of the cracker. He stuck his chest out proudly.
Summer had no choice but to smile at her young son. She loved him more than she ever thought possible. She was doing this for him. He could not grow up around Todd. He didn't deserve to see his mother abused. It was for him.