A/N: Thank you to my reviewer. And if you got the little Boromir joke, thank you. You have a fine sense of humor. Yay for you. My assistant is pretty scared of Breck now, so she's hiding in a corner muttering about Haldir. She is sorry for any emotional distress she has caused Breck and will never again touch Sean Bean and/or Boromir. But now that Mrs. Haldir has said her apologies, I believe it's time for Mrs. Faramir—I mean, the almighty, powerful and immortal authoress (me)—to continue the story.

Class Four: CHEMISTRY with FRODO

"What's next?" asks a full and bloated Kid #3.

"Chemistry." Says an always-alert Kid #4.

"With?" says an irritable Kid #1.

"Frodo." Says Kid #4.

"Frodo?" asks Kid #2 quizzically.

"Frodo." Says Kid #4.

"That bloke who had his finger cut off?" asks Kid #5.

"YEAH, THAT'S HIM ALRIGHT." Says Frodo, standing in the doorway.

"Hey..."

"You're..."

"A..."

"Kid!" says Kids # 1, 2, 3, and 4 in that order.

"CHILD LABOR!!!" screams Kid #5.

"YOU IDIOT!! I'm NOT a CHILD!! I am a FULLY GROWN HOBBIT of some WEALTH and INTELLIGANCE!!" screams Frodo, looking at the Kids, who are now cowering in a corner of the room, shaking.

"Some intelligence?" asks Kid #2, whose eyebrow is in danger of flying off his head.

"SOME INTELLIGANCE!!!" screams Frodo, as a vein in his forehead throbs menacingly.

"Uh, Frodo, can we start?" asks a meek Kid #4.

"Are YOU the TEACHER??" asks Frodo, as that vein looks like it'll explode any moment.

"Sounds like Gandalf." Mutters Kid #2 to Kid #3.

"WHAT?"

"Noting, Mr. Frodo, sir." Says Kid #2.

"Good. Now open your books to page 3,398." Says Frodo, going towards his podium.

"Shouldn't we star---." Starts Kid #3.

"Sshh!" reprimands Kid #5.

"What was that, uh, uh, Kid #3?" asks Frodo, who has no idea of the Kid's names.

"Nothing, Mr. Frodo, sir." Says Kid #3.

"Alright. Now, let me lay down the rules. They are:

No talking out of turn.

No yelling at the teacher.

Call the teacher 'Sir'.

Respect all others.

Treat others like you want to be treated." Says Frodo, reciting off a list.

"What if I want to be treated like dirt, sir? Can I treat others like dirt?" asks Kid #2, resident rule-breaker.

"Well, uh, I guess so." Says Frodo.

"Ok, sir." Says Kid #2.

"Alright. Now, we're going to learn about Water: its State, it's atoms, and it's functions." Says Frodo.

"Now, let's look at our course objectives...." Says Frodo, writing the objectives on the board.

The list reads:

To understand what makes up water

What water is in its many forms

To eventually fuse the Atoms found in water and create water ourselves.

"Uh, sir, how can we fuse the water molecules?" asks a brilliant Kid #5.

"We'll worry about that when we get to it." Says Frodo, looking sweetly at the Kids.

"But, sir, we can't do that! We need a permit and an Atom fuser and probably an Atom Smasher!" says Kid #5.

"WERE YOU ASKED TO SPEAK???" yells Frodo.

"No sir. Sorry sir." Says Kid #5.

"Alright. Now, let's start to read the first page. Can we have a volunteer?" Frodo asks.

No hands go up.

"No one? Shall I read it to you?" Frodo says.

Heads nod.

"Alright, fine." Frodo says. "Water is formed from two elements: hydrogen (h) and oxygen (o). It has three common states, the most common are water in liquid form, ice, and snow. It has two types, also: freshwater and saltwater. Most of the water in the world is saltwater, and a small percentage is drinkable by humans, that would be fresh. Most of the freshwater is found in a solid form, i.e. ice. Water covers 85% of the planet and makes up most of our bodies."

The kids stare at Frodo.

"Any questions?" asks Frodo.

"No, sir." Say the Kids in a chorus.

"Fine. For homework, read the rest of the chapter and write a report on water in its liquid form." Frodo says. "Class dismissed."

The kids run out, looking fearfully at Frodo incase his vein decided to pop.

Class Five: BOTANY and HERBOLOGY with ARWEN

"That Frodo is one freaky child." Says kid #2.

"He's a hobbit, not a child." Says Kid #5.

"Genius, no one cares." Says Kid #2.

"Well, sorr-y!" says Kid #5.

"Hey, break it up!" says Kid #3.

"Yeah!" says Kid #1.

"Honestly." Says Kid #4.

"Welcome, class, to the studies of the Plant Kingdom in Botany. I am your teacher, Lady Arwen Undomiel, Queen of Gondor, and Immortal Elf." Says Arwen dreamily.

"Whoa...." All the boys stare at Arwen. Wait, the whole class is boys, so yeah.

"Now, pleas find a seat. I rather prefer to work out-of-doors, but seeing as it's raining...." Arwen says, indicating a gray curtain of rain.

"How did she know that?" asks Kid #4.

"She looked out the window." Says Kid #5.

"Ahem. Now, pleas pull out your books and turn to page 1." Says Arwen, floating between the desks.

"Finally! A teacher who knows what she's doing!" says Kid #1 hapilly.

"Wait! If you're Queen of Gondor, that would mean you're...." Says Kid #5, suddenly realizing the truth.

"Yes, Aragorn is my husband." She sighs.

"You mean that stark raving mad freak who things that jogging us till we die is your husband?!!" asks Kid #2.

"What...did...you...call...Aragorn?" asks Arwen venomously.

"I called him a stark raving mad freak! He's a lunatic!" Kid #2 says defiantly.

"Never...speak...of...Aragorn...like...that...again." She whispers.

"Why? It's the truth, ain't it guys?" says Kid #2.

The rest of the boys are cowering in a corner, scared for their lives.

"Smite me not, mighty Elvin Maiden!" Whimpers Kid #4.

Kids # 1 and 5 are reverently praying for their lives.

Kid #3 has nearly wet himself.

"Uh..." says Kid #2.

"Aragorn...is...more...of...a...man...than...you'll...ever...be." says Arwen.

"Really?" Whispers Kid #2.

"REALLY!! ALRIGHT YOU MAGGOTS, GET BACK TO WORK!!" Screams Arwen, all niceness gone.

"She's a lunatic, too." Says Kid #2.

"What?" Arwen asks sweetly.

"You're a cool Elf, too."

A/N: Ah, nothing like a nice long chapter to clear your heads. Hopefully you were amused with Frodo being crazy. Next, we see what Merry and Pippin have been doing, and why does Boromir dread math?