A/N: Just to clarify, Gaylord is a real name; I have looked it up. So, yes. Now we find out why it's hazardous to your health to take math class. And also, why has Legolas been avoiding the Kids?
Class Seven: MATH with BOROMIR (who is only doing this for the money)
"Oh, great. Weren't we already in here?" Asks Kid #4.
"I-I have n-n-no idea." Yawns Kid #5.
"Yes, we have!" says Kid #1.
"Well, are we going to learn anything?" Asks Kid #2.
"Probably not." Says Kid #3.
"Hey! Shut up, you ninnies!" screams Boromir, who has just entered.
"Hey!!" Screams Kid #2, standing up.
"Sit down, Kid." Says Boromir quietly.
"Why?" asks Kid #2.
"Just...do...it." Boromir whispers venomously.
"Al-right." Says Kid #2, accenting each syllable.
"Now, turn to page 394. We're starting with the division of fractions." Says Boromir.
"Hey! Shouldn't you teach us the easy stuff?" Asks Kid #1.
"Are you the teacher?"
"Why does everyone ask that?"
"Now, there are some problems on the board. Do them in...10 minutes." Boromir says.
"What?!" The Kids ask, enraged.
"Just...do...it." Boromir whispers.
The Kids set to work, writing down the problems and working them out. Boromir walks up and down the rows with a meter stick in his hand. He slaps it against his palm, making the kids jump.
"Will you stop it?" asks Kid #5.
"What?" Boromir says, loosing it and tossing a pen at kid #5.
"I mean...uh...He said it!" Kid #5 says, pointing to Kid #2.
"Yep. I sure did." Kid #2 says.
Boromir throws a book at Kid #2.
"Just like your brother, you wanna-be." Kid #2 smirks. Little to his knowledge, he has just hit a vein.
"I...am...not...a...Faramir...wanna-be. He wants to be me." Boromir whispers.
"No, I don't think so." Kid #2 says.
The rest of the Kids jump out the window and hide.
"May the Lord and Saints preserve us!" They scream, running behind some trees.
"Look, bucko, no matter what Faramir does, he will never be as good as me. I AM perfection! I AM the BEST! NO ONE can compare! NO ONE!!" Boromir screams.
"Whatever. Poser." Kid #2 scoffs.
"ARGH!!" Boromir yells, flying at Kid #2 with a sword.
"PRAY FOR YOUR SALVATION, MATE!!" The other Kids scream to Kid #2.
Kid #2 pulls out a blade, also.
"You've some skill with a blade." He says.
"You've threatened my pride."
"Only a little."
Suddenly, a man in a plaid jacket runs out into the room.
"WAIT!! Those lines, sentence one, cited by Kid #2, are copyrighted Aragorn Co LTD. Sentence two, cited by Boromir, Son of Denethor, Son of Ecthellion, copyrighted Will Turner NOT A PANSY!! Co. And sentence three, cited by Kid #2, copyrighted Jack Sparrow Savvy? Co." The guy says. He runs out, screaming about plagiarism.
"What?" Kid #2 asks.
"Oh, well."
"Shall we continue our duel?"
"Fine."
The two continue fighting.
"Ha! You fight like Odysseus!" Kid #2 scoffs.
"I AM Odysseus, you ignorant fool!" Boromir screams.
"What?"
"I am Odysseus! Fear me!"
"FEAR HIM, MATE!!" Kids 1, 3, 4, and 5 scream from outside.
"Yeah, and I'm the Tooth Fairy."
"That can be arranged."
Suddenly, the same guy in the plaid jacket runs out.
"Wait! The above sentence, cited by Boromir, Son of Denethor, Son of Ecthellion, copyrighted by Haldir, Lord Pansikins of Little Poofington, Still not a pansy! Co." The guy says, then runs out.
"Whoa."
"Perhaps we should stop fighting." Boromir says.
"Yeah. All the good sentences are copyrighted." Kid #2 says.
The bell rings, and the Kids go to their next class, minus Kid #2.
-------------
Class Eight: GEOGRAPHY with LEGOLAS (And help from Aragorn, the Ranger)
"Oh, great. Now we have a class with another Elf!" Kid #4 says.
"Accursed Elves! Leave us in peace!!" Kid #5 screams.
"Actually, they're rather hot." Says Kid #1.
Silence.
"Wait! You're not a guy...!" says Kid #4.
Silence.
"Hey, dudes, what's going on?" Asks Kid #2, who walks in with a ton of bruises and cuts and scrapes.
"What happened to you?" Asks Kid #3.
"Boromir beat the living daylights out of me."
"Why?"
"You were there, you idiots!"
"Oh!"
"What's going on?" Asks Kid #2.
"Well, we think Kid #1 here is not a guy." Replies Kid #5.
"Hey!" screams Kid #1.
"What say you?"
"STOP STEALING ME LINES!!" Aragorn yells, from outside the window.
The Kids ignore him.
"Well, you saw that cafeteria chick."
"Uh, that was Haldir, the guy elf."
"..."
"Kid?"
"$%#!!!" Screams Kid #1, running out of the room and hiding.
At this moment, Legolas peeks his head in the door.
"Is the coast clear?" he whispers.
"..."
"I'm safe, right?" Legolas asks.
"Sure..." The Kids say.
"Well, let's start Geography!" Legolas says, as a loud, deafening roar is heard outside.
"Eep! Hide me!" Legolas squeals, running under a desk. A mob of Lego fan girls rush past the window.
"They're gone." Says Kid #5.
"Really?" Legolas asks, coming out from under the desk.
"Really." Says Kid #5.
"Oh. Well, seeing as how I'm not all Mr. Geographical Skills, I got my friend to come and help." Legolas says.
"No, you're Mrs. Geographical Skills." Says Kid #2.
"WHAT??" Legolas screams, his voice going high like a girl.
"Nothing, Mrs., I mean, MR. Legolas." Says Kid #2.
"Ok, I'll just get my friend." Legolas says, stepping out momentarily.
"And we thought Haldir was a pansy." Mutters Kid #3.
"Alright, please welcome my friend to help, Aragorn!" Legolas says happily.
"AHHHH!!" Scream the Kids, hiding under a desk.
"GET UP, YOU MAGGOTS!!" Screams Aragorn.
"I want the mother I never knew!" Kid #4 says.
"AMEN TO THAT!!" Faramir's voice says.
Uh...
"Oh Yavanna, save us from this insane lunatic in his time of insanity and/or lunacy!" screams Kid #5.
"Yavanna?" asks Kid #2.
"MAY THE VALAR PROTECT US!!!" Screams Kid #3.
"What the hell is wrong with them?" asks Aragorn.
"No idea." Legolas says, twirling his hair on his finger.
"Uh, Lego?"
"Yeah?"
"Stop acting like such a fuckin' pansy." Aragorn says angrily.
A/N: Well, that's why math is bad for your health. I suppose that we didn't learn anything in Geography. Oh well. For you uncultured people, Sean Bean a.k.a. Boromir, plays Odysseus in Troy, which stars Orlando Bloom, so yeah. That's your tidbit of info. Next, we'll see what happens to Kid #1, the Elf fancier. Then, we'll learn about Caves and Spelunking from Gimli! And Merry and Pippin will teach us something totally unrelated to drinking and/or smoking. The Nazgul are coming!!!---Anduril