A/N: Welcome back! Now, on to the part that many(?) have been waiting for: Football and Basketball! Taught by our favorites EVER, ARAGORN and BOROMIR!! All aboard the sports express!
Class Thirteen: FOOTBALL with ARAGORN
"Oh, no, we have to go back to this psycho again??" Kid #2 asks in horror.
"Dang. If we weren't boys and didn't have to play sports!" Kid #3 says.
"Oh, well." Kid #4 sighs.
They happen upon the football field, where Aragorn is weight lifting.
"Perhaps we should just leave him here." Kid #1 says quietly.
"Hey! My football stars!!" Aragorn says, as all the Kids mutter, "Damn" under their breaths.
"Well, Kiddies, let's shape you up! I want 200 pushups! NOW!!" Aragorn yells, as the Kids do so.
"This...is...murder." Kid #3 groans.
"Tell me about it." Kid #4 says.
"Come on, you wimps, put your back into it!" Aragorn growls.
"My back's gone!" Kid #1 says.
"Ouch! There goes my /snap/ back!" Kid #4 yells.
"What?" Kid #3 asks.
"I think I broke my back!" Kid #4 yells, writhing on the ground as if in pain.
"Hey, Kid, what's wrong?" Aragorn asks.
"I think I'm dying!" Kid #4 says.
"GASP! I'll take you to our nurse!" Aragorn screams, grabbing Kid #4 and rushing him to the school.
And Now, the Short Section Entitled: Kid #4 Goes to the Nurse!
The scene looks as though it came from a soap opera.
Aragorn bursts into the nurse's office, his shirt bloodstained and sweaty.
"Nurse! I have a dying patient!" Aragorn says, revealing Kid #4, whose shirt is bloody and a bandage is around his head, made from Aragorn's pants leg.
Suddenly, Arwen appears, dressed in dazzling white.
"AAA! My EYES!!!" Kid #4 screams.
"Shut him up." Arwen says quietly.
"Ok." Aragorn says, and Kid #4 shuts up, looking fearfully at Aragorn, a madness burning in his eyes.
"Im Arwen. Telin le thaed. Lasto beth nîn, tolo dan na ngalad." Arwen says in Elvish that makes my computer buzz with little red lines of, "incorrect spelling".
"What is she saying?" Asks Kid #4.
"Sssh! She's healing you." Aragorn hisses.
"Lasto beth nîn. Tolo dan na ngalad." Arwen repeats.
"FINE!!" Kid #4 screams, as he is immediately healed.
"Thank you, Nurse." Aragorn says.
"It was a pleasure." Arwen says, leaving.
And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Kid #4 is returned to his friends, and after a harrowing day with Aragorn, they find out that they have to go to basketball with Boromir!
"NOOO!! Is this school taught by maniacs?" Kid #3 screams.
"I believe so!" Kid #5 yells.
"Well, I hate it! I wanna transfer!" Kid #2 yells.
"I don't think you can." Kid #1 says.
"Hey, did you notice that there are only boys in this school? As students, I mean." Kid #5 says.
"Yeah! Where are all the girls?" Kid #2 asks.
"I don't know!!" Kid #1 says.
And Now, another Short Piece Entitled: Where are All the Girls?
We see Legolas on top of a desk, crouching and brandishing a yardstick like a sword.
"Back you devils! Away with you!" He says, waving the stick.
"LEGO WE LOVE YOU!!!" The girls, fan girls, scream.
"But I don't love you!" Legolas says.
"GASP! You don't mean that!" The fan girls say, tears coming to their eyes.
"I do! I already have a girlfriend!" Legolas says.
"We'd know if you do! We know everything about you!" The fan girls say.
"You do not!" Legolas says.
"We even know that you take a computer into the shower." They say.
"EEK!! That's personal, you sickos! You vile spawn of Mary-Sues! You repulse me!" Legolas says.
"We only wish to touch your hair!" They say.
"AWAY!! GET AWAY!!" Legolas screams.
Suddenly, Boromir appears, here to save the day!
"Avast! Be gone!" Boromir says.
The fan girls look at him like, "what the hell?"
"I am Boromir! Face my sword and meet your maker! No one survived my blade once I set my heart to it that they should die!" Boromir says, looking very noble and valiant.
"Yeah, poser, get out of here." A fan girl says.
"That's it!" Boromir screams, rushing into the mad throng with his sword drawn and his banner flying. He slices some fan girls, dices some others, and minces the last.
"Aha! No one survives the wrath of Boromir!" Boromir proclaims.
"Uh, Boromir, those were our students." Legolas says looking very pale.
"Really now?" Boromir asks, staring at the bloody mess around his feet.
"How are we going to explain this?" Legolas says, going even paler.
"I don't know." Boromir says.
"You're Odysseus! You know these things!" Legolas screams.
"Shut up, Paris!!" Boromir yells.
"Yeah, what are you going to do if I don't?" Legolas asks.
"Hey! Who's the thinker?" Boromir says.
"You, I guess." Legolas admits.
"That's correct. Now, let me think of what we should do." Boromir says, sitting down on a chair.
"Ok, I'll just think also." Legolas says.
"Good idea."
The two sit on chairs and are thinking.
"I got it!" Boromir screams.
"Let's have it!" Legolas says.
"We say that their deaths were a freak accident. Say that a giant fry slicer/dicer/mincer, dropped on their heads and sliced, diced, and minced! No one will know it was me!" Boromir proudly says.
"You though up the Trojan Horse and this is all you could think up now?" Legolas says.
"Hey, I was under pressure!" Boromir says.
"Yeah? You are now!" Legolas counters.
"Ok, ok! Don't have a fit!" Boromir says, thinking some more.
Legolas paces back and forth, a healthy flush in his cheeks.
"We could say that a balrog did it!" Boromir says.
"That'll scare the crap out of Gandalf!" Legolas says gleefully.
"I know! Isn't it an ingenious plan?" Boromir asks.
"It sure is! I always wanted to see that old fart kick the bucket!" Legolas says.
"Legolas, you very well might see that today." Boromir says.
"But, what about their parents?" Legolas says.
"Remember, the freak accident." Boromir says.
The two walk out, chortling happily.
A/N: No one really died in this scene; I just think that those crazy Mary- sues, fan girls deserved their fate. And so they got it. Well, look for more, including Boromir teaching basketball. I also harp on this Orlando and Sean in Troy business. I think it makes great puns.... So, look for chapter—what are we on now?—Oh, yeah! 9! Look for chapter 9 soon! It wasn't that short...
Class Thirteen: FOOTBALL with ARAGORN
"Oh, no, we have to go back to this psycho again??" Kid #2 asks in horror.
"Dang. If we weren't boys and didn't have to play sports!" Kid #3 says.
"Oh, well." Kid #4 sighs.
They happen upon the football field, where Aragorn is weight lifting.
"Perhaps we should just leave him here." Kid #1 says quietly.
"Hey! My football stars!!" Aragorn says, as all the Kids mutter, "Damn" under their breaths.
"Well, Kiddies, let's shape you up! I want 200 pushups! NOW!!" Aragorn yells, as the Kids do so.
"This...is...murder." Kid #3 groans.
"Tell me about it." Kid #4 says.
"Come on, you wimps, put your back into it!" Aragorn growls.
"My back's gone!" Kid #1 says.
"Ouch! There goes my /snap/ back!" Kid #4 yells.
"What?" Kid #3 asks.
"I think I broke my back!" Kid #4 yells, writhing on the ground as if in pain.
"Hey, Kid, what's wrong?" Aragorn asks.
"I think I'm dying!" Kid #4 says.
"GASP! I'll take you to our nurse!" Aragorn screams, grabbing Kid #4 and rushing him to the school.
And Now, the Short Section Entitled: Kid #4 Goes to the Nurse!
The scene looks as though it came from a soap opera.
Aragorn bursts into the nurse's office, his shirt bloodstained and sweaty.
"Nurse! I have a dying patient!" Aragorn says, revealing Kid #4, whose shirt is bloody and a bandage is around his head, made from Aragorn's pants leg.
Suddenly, Arwen appears, dressed in dazzling white.
"AAA! My EYES!!!" Kid #4 screams.
"Shut him up." Arwen says quietly.
"Ok." Aragorn says, and Kid #4 shuts up, looking fearfully at Aragorn, a madness burning in his eyes.
"Im Arwen. Telin le thaed. Lasto beth nîn, tolo dan na ngalad." Arwen says in Elvish that makes my computer buzz with little red lines of, "incorrect spelling".
"What is she saying?" Asks Kid #4.
"Sssh! She's healing you." Aragorn hisses.
"Lasto beth nîn. Tolo dan na ngalad." Arwen repeats.
"FINE!!" Kid #4 screams, as he is immediately healed.
"Thank you, Nurse." Aragorn says.
"It was a pleasure." Arwen says, leaving.
And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Kid #4 is returned to his friends, and after a harrowing day with Aragorn, they find out that they have to go to basketball with Boromir!
"NOOO!! Is this school taught by maniacs?" Kid #3 screams.
"I believe so!" Kid #5 yells.
"Well, I hate it! I wanna transfer!" Kid #2 yells.
"I don't think you can." Kid #1 says.
"Hey, did you notice that there are only boys in this school? As students, I mean." Kid #5 says.
"Yeah! Where are all the girls?" Kid #2 asks.
"I don't know!!" Kid #1 says.
And Now, another Short Piece Entitled: Where are All the Girls?
We see Legolas on top of a desk, crouching and brandishing a yardstick like a sword.
"Back you devils! Away with you!" He says, waving the stick.
"LEGO WE LOVE YOU!!!" The girls, fan girls, scream.
"But I don't love you!" Legolas says.
"GASP! You don't mean that!" The fan girls say, tears coming to their eyes.
"I do! I already have a girlfriend!" Legolas says.
"We'd know if you do! We know everything about you!" The fan girls say.
"You do not!" Legolas says.
"We even know that you take a computer into the shower." They say.
"EEK!! That's personal, you sickos! You vile spawn of Mary-Sues! You repulse me!" Legolas says.
"We only wish to touch your hair!" They say.
"AWAY!! GET AWAY!!" Legolas screams.
Suddenly, Boromir appears, here to save the day!
"Avast! Be gone!" Boromir says.
The fan girls look at him like, "what the hell?"
"I am Boromir! Face my sword and meet your maker! No one survived my blade once I set my heart to it that they should die!" Boromir says, looking very noble and valiant.
"Yeah, poser, get out of here." A fan girl says.
"That's it!" Boromir screams, rushing into the mad throng with his sword drawn and his banner flying. He slices some fan girls, dices some others, and minces the last.
"Aha! No one survives the wrath of Boromir!" Boromir proclaims.
"Uh, Boromir, those were our students." Legolas says looking very pale.
"Really now?" Boromir asks, staring at the bloody mess around his feet.
"How are we going to explain this?" Legolas says, going even paler.
"I don't know." Boromir says.
"You're Odysseus! You know these things!" Legolas screams.
"Shut up, Paris!!" Boromir yells.
"Yeah, what are you going to do if I don't?" Legolas asks.
"Hey! Who's the thinker?" Boromir says.
"You, I guess." Legolas admits.
"That's correct. Now, let me think of what we should do." Boromir says, sitting down on a chair.
"Ok, I'll just think also." Legolas says.
"Good idea."
The two sit on chairs and are thinking.
"I got it!" Boromir screams.
"Let's have it!" Legolas says.
"We say that their deaths were a freak accident. Say that a giant fry slicer/dicer/mincer, dropped on their heads and sliced, diced, and minced! No one will know it was me!" Boromir proudly says.
"You though up the Trojan Horse and this is all you could think up now?" Legolas says.
"Hey, I was under pressure!" Boromir says.
"Yeah? You are now!" Legolas counters.
"Ok, ok! Don't have a fit!" Boromir says, thinking some more.
Legolas paces back and forth, a healthy flush in his cheeks.
"We could say that a balrog did it!" Boromir says.
"That'll scare the crap out of Gandalf!" Legolas says gleefully.
"I know! Isn't it an ingenious plan?" Boromir asks.
"It sure is! I always wanted to see that old fart kick the bucket!" Legolas says.
"Legolas, you very well might see that today." Boromir says.
"But, what about their parents?" Legolas says.
"Remember, the freak accident." Boromir says.
The two walk out, chortling happily.
A/N: No one really died in this scene; I just think that those crazy Mary- sues, fan girls deserved their fate. And so they got it. Well, look for more, including Boromir teaching basketball. I also harp on this Orlando and Sean in Troy business. I think it makes great puns.... So, look for chapter—what are we on now?—Oh, yeah! 9! Look for chapter 9 soon! It wasn't that short...