Disclaimer: I can't think of witty comments – it's early, I haven't had my coffee yet, so insert your own here, please.
A/N: My summer vacation is half over, and I'm depressed. Sigh… How does the time go by so fast? In a bit over a month I'll be starting university… Grumble. Oh well, I cheered myself up by writing this! Huzzah.
SweetRevenge151, Star-of-Chaos, Alyxandria,PomegranateQueen, demiducky25, Orage, Rogue14, flowerperson,Ms.Rogue LeBeau, TheRealMai, enchantedlight, Raven2687,texasgrrl, ASGT and Kat Maximoff, mollymo, TheDreamerLady,darkstorm5000, pyros-gal, Dreamcatcher89, loneraven,Renaissance Wench, and IloveJamesK – The stress balls I handed out previously really didn't seem to help… Maybe stress boulders would work better?
Rogue4787 – Glad you didn't watch the movie – it's somuch more fun to get reactions when people weren't expecting something! I'm evil that way… Bwa ha ha.
Peace215 – Wow, that stress ball didn't do much good. Oh well, I enjoyed your rant! Hmm, would you rather have an insane Remy or one that's forgotten Rogue? Actually, I don't think that requires much thought, does it? Well, glad you have faith in me – for that, I can assure you that Pietro will get what's coming to him. Heh heh.
Misa1124 – Hmm, how interesting you should notice those things… It'll all be explained eventually. And no worries, it wasn't really a negative review. As for the fic being disheartening… Well, yeah, even I'm currently a bit melancholy.SickmindedSucker – But I'm not wearing sleeves… ;-)
Krac – Well, here you are! I missed your babbling. Boo to work. Ooh, a black star? Sweet, that's going up on my wall! I think the rhinestones give my crack bunnies super powers. And of courseit's not wrong to be happy about a dead Belle! If anything, I'd be worried if somebody wasn't happy.
Calliann – I really can't believe I make you cry so often. I mean, I know it's distressing and all… I guess as the author, I'm too invested in the technical aspects, like grammar and stuff, so I don't really have an outsider's perspective. Glad to know I didn't fail you, I feel better now. I'd feel great if you updated, hint hint…
Sweety8587 and Pyro Lady – Hmm, interesting guesses… But that's all I'll say. ;-)
heartsyhawk – Hey, you're speaking to a "mushy yucky soap opera follower" here! I'm addicted to 'Passions', it's so unhealthy… You should see me yell at the characters and stuff, so I know what you mean about getting emotional.
Pandora's Sorrow – There will be stuff after the procedure is over, which should be in a few chapters. As for whether that stuff will be happy or not… Well, you'll just have to read it, won't you?
Time for more sweetness! I can write it so easily… I think my body is made up of sugar, with a candy centre or something.
Loved and Lost, or Never At All?
Chapter 11 – Feel
"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." – Carl W. Buechner
She had told him to meet her at their spot on the lake – they would be celebrating his birthday quietly, without a rowdy party. There wouldn't be any people to invite anyhow – he had a feeling that X-Men wouldn't think it a very joyous occasion, but that was fine. Something small was all Remy wanted. Previous birthdays in the Guild were extravagant affairs with his large family showing up, but all he needed now was his chère.
Speaking of, Remy had showed up early, to set up her surprise. It was his birthday, not hers, but that gave him an idea that he didn't want to put off. Now he sat there, waiting impatiently for Rogue.
Taking out a deck of cards, he began to shuffle them idly. He played a few games of solitaire, but wasn't able to concentrate properly. He kept looking at his watch every few minutes – he had come too early. Gathering up the cards, Remy took off down the path towards the mansion.
He tried her bedroom first, only to find that she wasn't there. He snuck through the rest of the Institute expertly, avoiding the few inhabitants milling around. Remy finally found Rogue in the kitchen, slicing a cake. She wore a bright red apron, and he had to stop himself from laughing at the image of domesticity over her dark Goth apparel.
Sneaking up behind her without a sound, Remy placed his hands on her waist and whispered, "Aww, chère, y' made me a cake?" He watched her jump in fright before adding, "Too bad it couldn' be one o' dose giant ones where y' pop out naked…"
"Remy!" she exclaimed, calming down when she realized who it was. "What are yah doin' here? Yah're supposed to be at th' lake!"
"I know," he told her, starting to kiss the back of her neck. "But I got lonely."
Rogue went back to slicing the cake, slightly leaning back to rest on Remy. He took that opportunity to move his hands underneath her shirt, running them across her smooth stomach. He felt the muscles contract and Rogue straighten up, and he knew she was enjoying it.
"Remy, as good as that feels, yah might not wanna do that when Ah've got a knife in mah hands, hmm?" she breathed.
"'M willin' t' take dat chance," he informed her, his hands moving higher, lightly stroking the undersides of her breasts.
"Can't yah until later fo' that?" Rogue smirked, tilting her head slightly to look at Remy's face. "Ah promise, it'll be worth yer while."
He smirked back, slowly withdrawing his hands, but making sure to trail them down across her skin first. "If y' insist," Remy huffed, wrapping his arms around her, over her clothes. It was a much safer position to be caught in, should anybody walk into the room.
He watched Rogue continue her task, cutting the chocolate cake (his favourite) into uniform rectangular pieces. "'M bored, chère," he whined jokingly, propping his chin up on her shoulder.
"Rem, are yah sure yer turnin' a year older? 'Cause yah're complainin' like a child!"
"I jus' wan' t' spend m' birt'day wit' y', Roguey, but somehow I don' t'ink de kitchen's de most appropriate place f'r what we wan' t' be doin', henh?" he insinuated smoothly.
He knew she was rolling her eyes, even though she was facing away from him. Tracing carefully over the knife's blade, Rogue gathered large dollops of icing on her fingers. After tossing the utensil into the sink, she turned towards him.
"Ah don't know why Ah put up with yah!" she scolded flippantly.
"Oh, y' know why… Do I really need t' go over all m' best features?" Remy asked slyly.
A faint blush appeared on her cheeks, and Remy cocked an eyebrow. "Why, chère, I was talkin' 'bout m' wit an' intellect…" he teased. "What dirty t'ings were you t'inkin' 'bout?"
"Argh!" grunted Rogue in frustration and embarrassment, flicking his nose lightly, leaving a small trace of red frosting.
"Hey!" he protested, crossing his eyes in a fruitless attempt to see the substance on his face.
His actions only made Rogue laugh at the sight, and Remy sulked – that was soon pushed from his mind, however. Tilting her head up towards him, she kissed the tip of his nose, sensually sucking the icing off. Then she leaned backwards, supporting herself on the counter, and began to temptingly lick her sugar-coated index finger, moving slowly over it with her tongue, up and down…
Remy's eyes were locked on the seductive display, which was already getting him aroused… Before he lost control, he moved in towards her – he propped himself up with his hands on either side of Rogue, the counter supporting him in case his knees decided to give away.
"Yo' cruel, chère, y' know dat?" he told her in a hoarse voice, with her trapped in between his arms.
"What'cha gonna do about it, Cajun?" she challenged him, an amused look in her eyes.
"Dis." With one of his hands, he grabbed her icing-covered one. Bringing it up to his face, Remy captured a finger in his mouth, provocatively licking it, circling his tongue up and down her digit. He moved on to the next one, teasingly sucking on each of Rogue's fingers one by one. He watched her the entire time, enjoying the desire he saw on her face – her eyes were glued to his actions, her mouth slightly parted, her tongue darting out to lick her dry lips…
He quickly forgot that he was purposely taunting her, to teach her a lesson. Pressing her against the kitchen cabinets, Remy bent his head down and caught her lips with his, crushing them, then running over them with his tongue before it entered her mouth. Rogue's hands instinctively went around his neck, running through his hair, while his trailed down her body, over her backside, and down to her thighs.
He gripped them, swiftly lifting her up to sit her on the kitchen counter. She made a surprised sound against his mouth, but their lips never broke apart. Stepping closer to her, he stood between her legs, which wrapped around his waist. They continued kissing, passionately, urgently, until Remy managed to summon the iron clad control he needed to slow down – even then, he couldn't completely stop. Lightening his kisses to slow brushes of his lips against hers, only then could he make do with moving his head back an inch or so away from Rogue.
"Can't y' until later f'r dat?" he panted, repeating her earlier words, his breath mingling with hers. He cursed himself for sounding so breathless, so desperate.
"Fine, yah proved yer point," she muttered, sounding as affected as Remy. "Will givin' yah yer present shut yah up?"
"Mebbe," he pretended to ponder, glad to have a distraction from the temptress in front of him – a few more seconds of her caresses and Remy might've had to have her right there in the kitchen.
Untying the apron, Rogue threw it on the counter beside her and reached into her pocket. She pulled out a small rectangular package, and tossed it to Remy. He caught it easily – barely looking at it, he already knew what it was.
"A pack o' cards, chère? Y' really put a lot o' effort int' dis, didn' y'?" he teased. "Very original."
A shrewd smirk spread across Rogue's face. "Just open it, swamp rat. Ah guarantee they're original."
Opening the box, Remy pulled out the playing cards. His first view of them was of the back – they were red and black, with an intricate woven pattern like on most decks. Turning them over, a brief glimpse was all he needed before dropping them in astonishment. The entire deck fell to the ground, sliding all across the tiled floor.
While Rogue chuckled at him, Remy could only stand there, gaping. Pictures of her looked up at him from the fronts of the personalized cards, but not just any pictures – they were images of Rogue in various sexy poses, in different sets of revealing lingerie that barely covered anything…
Carefully jumping off the counter so as not to step on any of them, Rogue made her way over to him. Remy still hadn't moved. He just stood there, mouth moving up and down much like a fish, yet unable to form any words - he could barely even form any coherent thoughts either.
"So… What d'ya think?" she asked him coyly, standing in front of him, blocking his view.
He was thinking a lot of things. He was thinking that she was the most belle femme in the world, he was thinking that Rogue had come so far from the lonely, depressed Goth girl that had first captivated him, he was thinking that he was the luckiest man on earth now that she could touch and she chose to touch him… But mostly, he was thinking that it was the best gift he had ever received.
"'M not sure what I love mo'," Remy finally spoke. "De present, or y' f'r givin' it t' me."
Offering him a pleased smile, Rogue stood on her toes and gave him a brief kiss.
"Hmm, I t'ink I love you mo', 'cause as much as I love de cards, chère, dey can't do dat," he decided with a grin. "How 'bout some mo' birt'day kisses?"
She grinned back, giving him twenty quick pecks on the lips, one for each year of his life.
"One mo' f'r luck?" he pressed.
Leaning back in, Rogue met his lips, but Remy didn't let her go so easily this time – he deepened the kiss, leaving them both breathless as they pulled away. He saw the same blissful, goofy expression on her face that he always wore after such events, but then a serious expression took over.
"Now, yah are not to play poker with yer buddies with that deck, got it swamp rat?" she harshly instructed him, poking a finger into his chest for emphasis.
"Not a problem," he hastily agreed. "Wit' dose pictures, 'm not sharin' dat deck wit' anybody. Gonna keep y' all t' m'self, chère." His words igniting a spark of curiosity within him however, and Remy then had to ask, "Who took dose pictures, anyway?"
His mind briefly entertained the fantasy of some of the other girls directing Rogue in a racy photo shoot before she answered, "Ah used th' timer on Kitty's digital camera, an' took 'em mahself. What, yah think Ah'd let anybody see meh like that?"
"Ot'er den me, o' course." He was eternally thankful that he was the exception to that rule.
"Of course," she winked.
With that said, Remy began to pick the cards up off the floor. It took quite a while, with him pausing to leer at every one he lifted up. Rogue just rolled her eyes and leaned back against the counter, watching him clean up his mess. With everything back in the box, he stood up just as Kurt walked into the room.
"Oh… Hey, Rogue. Hello, Gambit," he greeted, somewhat awkwardly. He still wasn't very comfortable around Remy, but at least he wasn't growling at him anymore.
"Bonjour, Kurt," he nodded back, being amiable.
An awkward silence followed - neither knew quite what to say to the other. Remy fidgeted, knowing that Rogue was silently snickering at them.
"Vell…" began Kurt, also uncomfortable. "…I vill see you two later."
He turned to leave the kitchen, but then halted, something having caught his attention. Remy followed his line of sight, and paled when he saw one card left lying on the floor.
"Is zat yours, Gambit?" asked Kurt, walking towards it, and bending down to pick it up.
Remy's life flashed before his eyes – if Rogue's brother turned it over and saw her picture on that card, he would kill him! Shaken out of his stupor, he lunged for the card, crashing on the floor and sliding across the slippery tiles, grasping it a second before Kurt did.
"I got it, mon ami," he grunted, aching where he threw himself on the ground, but managing to smile at Nightcrawler. "But t'anks."
He received a very strange look, but then Kurt shrugged - with a small wave and a curious expression directed to Rogue, he left the room.
As soon as he was gone, Rogue cracked up, laughing so hard that she fell to her knees and tears streamed down her face. Pushing himself up, Remy got to his feet and brushed off his clothes.
"Don' see how dat's so funny," he grimaced. "Y' know what he'd do t' me if he saw dose!"
"Ah-Ah know," Rogue stuttered, trying to catch her breath, but unable to control her mirth.
Now it was Remy's turn to roll his eyes, as he waited for her to calm down. Crossing his arms, he rested against the table and glared at his chère – not that he was truly mad at her, of course. "Y' done makin' fun o' me?"
Wiping her face and taking a deep breath, she slowly got up. Grimacing at the look he was giving her, Rogue walked over and threw her arms around him, planting a peck on his cheek.
"Ah'm sorry, Remy," she pouted adorably. "Ah'm so glad that yah sacrificed yerself to th' evil floor to protect us from th' wrath of Kurt."
Keeping his annoyed appearance up, Remy whimpered, "Y' better be… 'M all bruised now."
"Aww, don't worry sugah, Ah'll kiss 'em better later," Rogue cooed.
The corners of his mouth twitched, turning up ever so slightly. Abandoning the charade of being irritated with her, Remy grinned and took Rogue's hand, walking her outside.
"Chère, can I asked y' somet'in'?" he questioned as they entered the forest on the edge of Xavier's property.
"Course yah can," she replied, glancing at him.
"I was t'inkin'," he sighed, looking up at the sky, blocked by the green leaves of the trees. He was a bit apprehensive about this – her past could be a touchy subject, but he told himself that it would be all right… "I know dat y' don' know when yo' real birt'day is, so I was t'inkin'… As lame as dis is… Maybe we can make it t'day? Dat way we can celebrate t'get'er…"
He gazed back down at her, pleased to find a touched expression on her face.
"Ah'd like that," Rogue answered quietly, her accent thick with emotion.
"Good, 'cause I already got y' a present."
She laughed joyfully, winding an arm around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. Remy draped his arm around her shoulder and they stayed like that as he led her to the lake.
As they entered the clearing on the cliff, Remy moved aside to let Rogue see her gift. "Voila," he said, directing her attention to it with a flourish of his hand.
He kept his concentration on Rogue, wanting to see her face light up when she saw what he had made for her – he wasn't disappointed, and judging from her jaw dropping and eyes widening, neither was she.
She slowly moved towards the wooden swing he had hung from a large tree, running her hand along the seat. He had cut the wood himself, sanding it down until it was smooth, and then carving the inscription into it.
"Je t'aimerai pour toujours, chère (I will love you forever, dear)," she whispered, reading it aloud, her voice choked up.
Stepping up behind her, Remy placed a reassuring hand on her arm. "It's just like th' one I had in Mississippi," Rogue murmured to herself, and he knew that she was remembering her old home. The far-off look in her eyes when she first described it to him, telling him about how she used to pretend she could fly while swinging, was what had prompted Remy to recreate a piece of happiness from her childhood.
He knew Rogue must have been overwhelmed by one of the few memories from her youth that she could clearly recall. Hugging her from behind and perching his chin on her shoulder, he just held her comfortingly until she was able to gather herself and her thoughts.
"Ah'm not sure what Ah love more," Rogue finally spoke with a watery smile, turning around in his embrace. "Th' present, or yah fo' givin' it to meh. Thank yah, Remy, so much…"
Remy pressed a kiss to her forehead, and prompted her to sit down on it. Placing his hands on her back, he gently began to push her, watching Rogue sway back and forth on the swing. She closed her eyes and extended her arms, and Remy knew that she was imagining herself flying – it was absolutely endearing, to see her act so childlike and carefree.
"I love y', Rogue," he murmured in her ear when the swing descended.
As it ascended again, she opened her eyes and swiftly turned around in her seat – as she fell back towards him, Rogue wrapped her legs around him, lifting herself off the swing and crashing into his arms. "Ah love yah too," she told him fervently. "Ah love yah so much, Ah'm not sure Ah can even describe how Ah feel."
"Y' don' have t', chère, I feel de same way."
"Ah can't believe yah remembered meh tellin' yah 'bout mah swing…"
"I remember everyt'in' about y'."
She frowned, both of them realizing what had been said and done. "That won't be true fo' long, will it?"
"Non, it won't," Remy sighed, as she dropped to her feet in front of him. "Now I wish it could be, but it won't."
The light began to fade around them, and he knew what was coming. They held on to each other as it grew darker, when suddenly Remy started, an idea formed. Grabbing Rogue's hand, he ran out of the clearing, dragging her along with him.
"Remy, what are yah doin'?" she called out, trying to keep up with him.
"I can't let y' go, Rogue!" he yelled back, rushing down the path. "Dis was a mistake! I've never been happier den when I was wit' y', an' I wan' t' keep dat!"
The pair kept running through the forest, rushing past the trees – behind them, it kept getting blurrier and blurrier, like the scenery was being wiped away. Remy never looked back, but he could tell that the erasing was catching up to them - it was moving too fast. He just kept moving forwards, never letting go of Rogue's hand, clasping it tightly in his own. He'd keep running forever if he had to, he wasn't letting go of her…
Swerving off the path, the pair ran deep and deeper into the woods, jumping over tree roots and logs, the only sound that of their heavy breathing – until Remy heard a cry, and Rogue's hand was jerked from his. Stopping in his tracks and spinning around, he scanned the area for her – she was nowhere to be seen.
"Rogue?" he called out fearfully, desperate to hear an answer - but there was nothing.
Slumping against a tree in defeat, Remy slid down to the forest floor. He sat there dejectedly, head in his hands, as everything around him began to fade.
Poor guy, he just can't win, can he?
Next chapter – We find out what happened when Rogue gained control… wink wink, nudge nudge. ;-)
As always, reviews just make me squeal with happiness. They also motivate me, hint hint. So you write a review, and I'll write more of the fic! Yay, reciprocation.
Toodles,
- ish -