Disclaimer: As a form of protest for me not owning the X-Men, I'll refrain from writing a disclaimer. Take that!
A/N: I had the strange urge to go out and buy a fish the other day. Now it lives in a pineapple under the sea (also known as a Spongebob fish tank), and it's just kinda watching me. It needs a name, any suggestions?
Aro, PomegranateQueen, mollymo, SCaliGirlHK,the sinister bra, perturbedpercy, thegambit23, loneraven,Rogue14, darkstorm5000, EE's Skysong, Rogue Almighty,enchantedlight, redeyes813, heartsyhawk, xpoisonedxangelx,lonewolf, SickmindedSucker, Tsugath, Eliza, Ms.Rogue LeBeau, and skyangle2004 – Oh, my adoring public, I adore you all back! And if that isn't enough for you… Well, have a Slinky. Everyone loves a Slinky.
Star-of-Chaos, demiducky25,Sweety8587, TheRealMai, EmeraldKatsEye, and flowerperson – Hah, I was getting déjà vu while reading all your reviews, since they all mentioned that… ;-)
TheDreamerLady – Sorry to burst your bubble, but no plot hole – remember back in the second chapter when Rogue was talking to Kitty, and she wondered if the guy with red and black eyes could be a mutant? So she really wasn't sure if he one or not, and at that point she was so pissed that she was kinda hoping for any reason for him to leave and him being a mutant-hater would be a pretty good one. Hah, but you were right about the copying and pasting… I'm such a cheater.
Beer'n'chips – She did get control, but since Remy helped her with it and so many memories of him were tied in with it, the control was erased when Rogue wiped him from her mind.
Calliann – Pain? Oh yes, I can promise pain… Bwa ha ha! ;-)
SweetRevenge151 – Crap story? Pshaw! Get some self-esteem, woman. Or better yet, just send me sneak previews and let me gush about it, that'll cheer you right up! Yeah, the Mozzer is expensive – my tics cost about 60, is that equivalent to £35? I don't know the conversion of Canadian dollars to pounds and I'm too lazy to check. But hey, we can't blame him, I bet snazzy dinner jackets don't come cheap.
Dreamcatcher89 – So! Many! Exclamation! Points! Gold! Stars! For! You!
giggleboxsam – Sorry, we won't have a Rogue point of view about her heartache, since it's already after the fact and I don't want to mess up the chronological flow of the fic. Maybe I can make it up to you though, because being a sounding board sounds good. But I never use messengers, so just email me.
Goddess Evie – You'll see what happens with the book soon. I'd cackle evilly right about now, but you mentioning Remy wearing nothing at all filled my mouth with drool and I started choking, which is never good.
Eileen Blazer – Okay, you're forgiven for missing an update since I'll get my revenge by making you fail math, bwa ha ha! Ugh, I hate math. And parabolas. They're completely useless! Believe me, I feel your pain, drifting off during class and thinking of sexy Cajuns named Remy… Anyhoo, glad you liked the way it turned around – me too, what a coincidence! But of course something else is gonna happen – the question is what? Dun dun duhh!
Raven2687 – Your description of Pietro made me laugh… Oh, how apt! Don't worry, everything won't be the same, I agree that would be annoying. There's one more situation of similarity in this chapter but then things sure will change…
Neurotic Temptress – I'm happy you caught up, but I noticed that you were reviewer #666… Eeep! It's a sign!
Orage – Sorry, don't get your hopes up. My reasoning for their repetition is that they're still the same people with the same thought processes and all, so stick them in the same situation and it'd probably happen similarly. But nice try…
Oooh, so I bet you all wanna know what happens between Rogue and Remy now, huh? Do ya? Really? Really?! Well, you'll have to wait a bit. ;-) First, we'll check in with everybody's favourite speed demon! Yup, I bet you're all loving that…
Loved and Lost, or Never At All?
Chapter 20 – Stir
"Abruptly the poker of memory stirs the ashes of recollection and uncovers a forgotten ember, still smouldering down there, still hot, still glowing, still red as red." – William Manchester
Rogue sat under a large oak tree at the lake, her designated "thinking spot", while she attempted to read her book. There were only a few more pages to go, and she was determined to finish it today. 'Ah would've been done already if it hadn't been fo' that damn swamp rat,' she grumbled to herself, and then groaned in frustration.
Again, that cocky Cajun was disrupting her thoughts! Ever since he had interrupted her reading time yesterday, Rogue's infuriation at him had been popping up constantly. She had seethed all the rest of the afternoon, her mind had been racing so she couldn't fall asleep, and when she finally did, he had made a guest appearance in her dream! It was ridiculous! Somehow, he had managed to work his way into her head, probably just to spite her…
What did it mean? Surely, it was just her anger. Yeah, that was all. That was all it could be. But Rogue refused to think about it anymore!
She shut the novel with a groan, and looked up at the tree. The soothing sound of rustling leaves calmed her slightly, but then her eyes noticed something hanging from one of the large limbs. There were two thick pieces of rope, knotted to the branches, as if something had been suspended from them… It was odd – in all the time she had been coming here, Rogue had never seen anything hanging from the oak.
A second later, when she saw Pietro run into the clearing, it was pushed from her mind.
"Hi, Rogue," he greeted her, flashing her his patented charming grin.
"Hey, Pietro," she smiled back, closing her book. A small delay wouldn't hurt, she told herself, she could finish it later. "What are yah doin' here? How'd yah find meh?"
He shrugged, before placing his backpack down and sitting on the grass beside her. "Not sure… Just followed the ol' Maximoff intuition, and found you here."
"Ahh, so yah're psychic now," Rogue joked, raising a sceptical eyebrow.
"Just with you, Roguey. We've got a great connection."
"Don't call meh Roguey," she scowled lightly. She repeatedly told him not to, but would he listen? She then continued curiously, "An' what connection might that be?"
"Well, there's obviously something strong between us," Pietro clarified confidently. "I mean, we're always running into each other, finding the other, stuff like that."
Rogue just scoffed. "Yah actually believe in that stuff?" she asked. "Ah call it coincidence." It sounded like the sappy stuff found in romance novels (not that she'd ever read them, of course), the things that were too romantic and perfect to be true.
Looking at his face, she saw that Pietro actually looked a bit upset. Did that all really mean something to him? Feeling bad, she tried to change the subject. "So, sugah, yah never said what yah were doin' here."
"Well, I wanted to see if you were okay. You never showed up to meet me yesterday," he replied with a slight frown, and then his arrogance began to shine through. "There'd have to be something seriously wrong for anyone not to want to see me."
A comment like that would have normally made Rogue roll her eyes in exasperation, but instead they widened with surprise. She had forgotten to meet him! Because she had been with Remy… Yet another way he had ruined her whole day! How dare he?
"Oh, dammit, Ah'm so sorry!," she exclaimed, and then to her amazement, proceeded to lie. "Ah stopped fo' coffee an' started readin', an' Ah lost track o' time!"
She felt guilty, more so for lying than for forgetting to meet him. If he had heard the truth then he would have just been jealous, so this was for the best, she rationalized, and hoped he'd believe her fib.
He did. "Oh, so you found a book more interesting than me?" pouted Pietro, but then smirked. "That's okay, I love you anyways."
Rogue simply laughed uncomfortably, not responding. She never did when he said things like that, whenever he mentioned the word 'love'. It caused something strange to stir inside her, but she could never figure out what. Was it nervousness? Or yearning? Could it be love? Maybe… She had no idea, so simply opted for no replies – at least, not until she was able to sort out her emotions. She could love him… Right?
Quicksilver was good to her… He spent time with her, always listening to her, saying the right things, doing the right things – even when she couldn't offer anything back in return, because of her curse. For some reason he had endless confidence in her, telling her that she would be able to control it – hell, he even began working with her on it! That was, in fact, what Pietro then proposed.
"So, babe, you busy? You wanna work on your meditation some more?" he suggested eagerly, moving to sit in front of her and take her gloved hands in his when she nodded.
Crossing her legs, Rogue began to take slow, deep breaths, and started the process of entering her mind. Her psyches were quieter now – she had just woken up one day and found them like that, which had been strange, but a godsend. However, something was still off, something was missing, the vital piece to the puzzle of her control, and she was trying to find it. Honestly, she didn't even know if this would work, but figured it was worth a try. Professor Xavier was completely confident about this method, telling her he was absolutely sure that it was the way.
But then, why hadn't it succeeded yet? He had worked on it with her, to no avail. She was still untouchable. Now Pietro had been encouraging her, but not much progress had been made. They were both so positive it would work, but Rogue couldn't help but have her doubts.
Shaking her head slightly, as if to purge the negative vibes from her mind, she attempted to focus once more. She had to clear away her thoughts in order to meditate properly. However, instead of silence, she could vaguely make out Pietro's words of encouragement as he sat there, watching her.
"Come on, Roguey, you can do it," came his faint whispers. "You're too damn stubborn to let this control you forever, I know you can do it!"
His words helped, even prompting her to smile a little, and Rogue prepared to delve deeper into her mind. However, she stopped abruptly – she sensed him moving, his hands reaching towards her, coming closer and closer to her skin…
"Stop!" she cried, eyes shooting open and slapping his hand away with hers.
He had that look in his eyes again… Fear. She knew he tried to hide it, but no matter how often Pietro told her that he believed in her, there was always a glint of apprehension showing her that he was afraid of being absorbed. Not that she could blame him, of course. Rogue hadn't absorbed him for ages, the last time being long before they had started dating, and she was determined not to do it now. She didn't want to hurt her boyfriend, because to her it would only prove that she shouldn't have one in the first place.
"I'msorryRogue," he blurted out, his words running together in his fluster. "Ithoughtyoudidit, Isawyousmileandthoughtyoumighthavehadit…"
"No, not yet," she told him, eyes downcast. 'If ever,' came her pessimistic reflection.
"Don't worry, you'll get it," Pietro declared, calming down some, making his words comprehensible once more. "We'll try again soon. Why don't we take our minds off it now, okay?"
Reaching into the bag he constantly carried around with him, he shuffled through some papers, pulled out a book, and handed it to Rogue.
"Queen of the Damned?" she read in delight, her mood brightened and the usual depressed funk averted. "Thanks, sugah! Wow, how'd yah know Ah was just thinkin' o' gettin' this?"
"Um, I knew you hadn't read yet," he explained, scratching his head nervously. "Besides, I wanted to get you something I knew you'd like, to show you how much you mean to me."
Rogue smiled at his sweet words, despite the strange feeling that they didn't seem to quite fit coming from his mouth. She ignored that, much like she did with the other bizarre feelings vexing her lately. "Thank yah, Pietro. Ah don't know how yah do it, but somehow yah manage to give meh gifts Ah actually like – no one else has been able to do that."
"Well, I can read you like a book," he teased her with a sly gleam in his eye, prompting a groan and a smack on the arm for his bad pun.
- X -
Later that afternoon, after Rogue left Pietro at the boarding house, she walked through the park on the way back to the mansion. Upon seeing an empty bench, she decided to sit herself down and finish reading – it was a nice day and the park was quiet, so she figured she might as well take advantage of it. If she went back to the Institute, well, peace and quiet were simply not an option there.
She completed The Vampire Lestat in no time, and then reached for Queen of the Damned. A few pages into it, and already her mind had started drifting. She was getting a weird feeling of déjà vu, or some other sort of familiarity… Strange, since she had never read the book before. Maybe the movie was influencing her? Yeah, that had to be it.
Attempting to focus once more, Rogue engrossed herself in the novel on her lap. Soon she had dived into the dark world of the author's creation, and was completely captivated by the story. So captivated, in fact, that at first she failed to notice somebody clearing their throat beside her. When that person gave a little cough, she jerked her head up in annoyance.
"What?" she scowled, before recognizing just who had sat down on her bench. Great, just great…
"Bonjour, chère," came Remy LeBeau's greeting. "Read any good books lately?"
"What, are yah stalkin' meh, swamp rat?" Rogue asked in disbelief. Hadn't he learned his lesson yesterday? "What th' hell do yah want now?"
"Well," he drawled lazily, stretching and slinging an arm out behind her that only caused her to inch forward. "T' be perfectly honest, I wanted t' ask y' out on a date."
She blinked, startled. "Ah'm sorry, what did yah say?"
"A date, chère. I'd like t' go on a date wit' y'," he slowly repeated, as if amused by her reaction.
"Why th' hell would Ah wanna go on a date with yah?" she questioned incredulously. "Yesterday yah did nothin' but piss meh off! Ah've known yah fo' less than twenty-four hours, an' already Ah can't stand yah!" Oh yeah, and there was the fact that she already had a boyfriend, came her afterthought… Why hadn't she mentioned that?
"Oui, 'm sorry 'bout dat, petite," Remy winced. "Didn' exactly make de best impression, henh?"
"No, yah didn't," she huffed, surprised he had admitted it.
"So I was hopin' I could try again," he continued. He actually sounded sincere…
"Why should Ah let yah?" she grilled him, not buying it. "An' better yet, why would yah wanna? Yah didn't get enough o' mah insults already?"
"Well, I couldn' get enough o' you, chère, an' I still want t' get t' know y. 'M guessin' y'll let me cause I t'ink y're just as interested in me as I am in y'," he rapidly replied to all of her questions, stunning her with how genuine he appeared.
"Ah am not interested in yah!" Rogue firmly refuted his contention. His earnestness had to be an act…
"Mebbe y' will be if y' get t' know me," he shot back.
"Ah sincerely doubt it."
"Why? Y' afraid y' might like me?"
"No way! That'll never happen," she exclaimed indignantly. "Ah'm not gonna be one o' yer challenges, Cajun."
"Y're not a challenge, Rogue. Y're just challenging.
"Again, Ah doubt it," she scoffed.
"Den y'd be wrong."
"No way. Ah'm right, Ah know it."
"And if y' aren't?"
"Ah am," insisted Rogue.
"Non, y're not," Remy corrected her.
"Ah am!"
"Y're not! Y're just scared."
"Scared? O' what?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. What would she possibly be scared of?
"Y're scared dat somebody actually wants t' get t' know y', even after y' push dem away," he rationalized, rather incompetently she thought.
Aw, hell, who was she kidding? She hated to admit it, but the swamp rat was right. He made her nervous, he didn't obey the boundaries she put up around her – it was something she never had to deal with before, not even with Pietro. The fact that someone wasn't intimidated by her intimidated her. But she would never let Remy LeBeau know it!
"Ah am not!" Rogue continued to deny adamantly.
"Really?"
"Really!"
Remy looked at her with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Prove me wrong, den," he dared her.
"Fine, Ah will!" she declared without thinking. He had challenged her, and she wasn't about to back down!
"Bon! Den let's get t' know each ot'er," he grinned.
"What?" she sputtered, realizing what she had just talked herself into. "Wait, Ah didn't mean that!"
"Too late, chère," Remy laughed heartily. 'That's a nice sound,' Rogue thought, before she could stop herself.
She then glared at him, but it had no effect. She opted for a different approach, one she knew well – verbal assault. "What, is this how yah get girls?" she sneered. "By trickin' 'em?"
"Non, just y'."
"Gee, Ah feel special," she said sarcastically.
"Oh, y' are, Rogue. Y' can deny what I say all y' want," he grinned cheekily. "But I bet it's true… Y' want t' sit an' gaze int' my, an' I quote, 'beautiful eyes'."
The Goth blushed, not quite sure how to rebut that – after all, she couldn't deny that she had said it! She turned her head away in a weak attempt to save her from embarrassment. She knew it had been a mistake to utter those words, what on earth had possessed her to do so?
Much to her surprise, Remy changed the subject instead of pursuing his teasing. "Why don't we start by y' tellin' me 'bout dat book y're readin'?"
Rogue turned back to face him, eyeing him curiously. She hadn't expected him to just give her leave like that… It was quite gracious of him, actually. She decided she might as well run with it – it would probably save her from more humiliation and irritation. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to talk, and refrain from further arguments. "Well, Ah just started, but so far it's good."
"I've never read it."
"Ah've read th' rest o' the series, an' this is th' last one. Ah think th' fact that Ah saw th' movie is throwin' meh off a bit though…"
"Oui, I know what y' mean… Y' get a picture o' de actors in y'r head instead o' imaginin' de characters on yo' own, henh?"
To her amazement, Rogue found herself agreeing, and from there a real conversation ensued, one without insults or innuendos. After she gave her review of the book, Remy began to comment on his own tastes in reading, which let to their opinions on movies, music, and television. The talk progressed quickly, jumping from one topic to another comfortably. Rogue found herself hanging onto his every word, and she could tell that he doing the same to her. He was paying attention to her in a way nobody ever had.
There was something different about him now – when he wasn't being purposely infuriating, Remy LeBeau was actually… Nice.
He was clever and witty, actually managing to make her laugh. He used some corny lines on her, some of the same that Pietro had tried – she failed to note that she scoffed playfully at them, instead of reacting with annoyance like she usually would. They seemed more fitted to Remy than Pietro somehow.
In astonishment, Rogue actually found herself more at ease with the Cajun. He had a way about him, something that drew her in. That in itself was a miracle, since she hadn't been this open with anybody since… Well, ever! In such a short time, she had already told him much more than most people knew about her, and something told her that Remy could say the same. He seemed very guarded and secretive, although at the moment he was anything but.
Comments about Southern cooking led them onto the topics of their pasts down South, and Remy divulged how he was adopted into the New Orleans Thieves Guild. For some reason, him being a thief didn't bother her a bit. She was a thief in her own right, after all… A stealer of souls. In return for his own tales, Rogue told him about her own childhood, about being adopted, used, and betrayed. They had similar stories, really… It was nice, finding someone that had experienced comparable events, they could relate to what you went through.
Things had taken a serious turn, so they switched back to discussing random things. She learned that he liked summer best out of all the seasons (because he could lounge around on the bayou), he hated fog (for some mysterious reason that was entirely unknown to him), and that his favourite feeling was the rush after a successful heist. She shared that she liked spring (because the flowers began to bloom, reminding her of the wildflowers on the banks of the Mississippi), she loved thunderstorms (she would go sit out in the garden to watch them), and that her favourite feeling was the grass between her bare toes.
They weren't important revelations, but they still worked towards revealing little bits of their personalities, and forging a tentative understanding between the two. Rogue marvelled at the fact that she shared such intimate parts of her life with him. It just seemed natural to open up to him like that. Her gut feeling told her that she could confide in him, and she always trusted her instincts – if she couldn't trust herself, then who else was there?
The afternoon flew by quickly as they chatted amiably, but it would have to come to a close eventually. Glancing at her watch, Rogue noted how much time had passed.
"We've been here fo' hours, Cajun! Ah gotta get back to th' Institute," she told him, trying to ignore the pang of disappointment she felt course through her. It wasn't because she was leaving him, it was simply because of the lively conversation… Uh huh, that was it.
"Y' sure, chère?" he pouted, trying to get her to stay. When she stood, he then asked, "Well, how 'bout anot'er date den?"
"Another?" came her incredulous shout. "This was not a date!" It wasn't, it couldn't be, she had a boyfriend!
"Okay, whatever y' say," Remy teased, and she shot him a glare. He must have picked up on its fierceness, because he then amended his tone. "Well, okay den, if y' say it's not a date, den it's not a date. How 'bout anot'er meetin' den?"
Just a "meeting" – that would be okay, right? It wasn't a date, there was no harm in it. It wouldn't be considered cheating… No, of course it wouldn't, because then Rogue would be feeling guilty, which she wasn't. It would simply be two people having a nice time talking to each other, that's all this was! But of course, she couldn't let Remy win that easily.
"Why should Ah say yes?" she replied with a smirk. "All we did was sit in th' park, that don't really impress a gal, swamp rat."
"Hey, give a guy a break, chère!" he protested with a laugh. "'S not like I had time t' plan any'tin' mo' excitin', but y' gotta gimme some credit – dere were no gimmicks or anyt'in', just me an' m' charm…"
"Hmm, yah probably could've used a few gimmicks," she teased him, with her hands on her hips.
"Aww, come on, Roguey, y' had a good time, non?"
She ignored the cutesy nickname and just shrugged vaguely, knowing he would be able to see through it anyway.
"I'll take dat as a 'oui'," he grinned, standing up to join her. "How 'bout we talk again t'morrow?" the Cajun then suggested, taking one of her hands and placing a gentle kiss on the back of it.
She gazed at her hand in his in confusion. It was odd, but in some bizarre way, the action reminded her of Pietro – not because he was the one that always kissed her hand, but because it now seemed so ill suited to him. What Remy just did seemed so natural, so right, that she could now look back at Pietro's motions and find them flawed somehow…
No, that was silly. Still, it perplexed Rogue, and made her think of Pietro once more. Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea…
Remy seemed to notice her discomfort, and eased his offer. "Tell y' what, Rogue. T'morrow afternoon, I may jus' happen t' be in here in de park," he informed her in an overly innocent tone, stressing certain words and winking when he said them. "Wouldn' it be a coincidence if we ran int' each ot'er again?"
She snickered, getting the message. She was thankful he had put it that way – yes, this was nothing serious, and it would continue to stay that way. A 'chance' get together with him wouldn't hurt. After all, Remy was almost a friend. She was allowed to have friends, her boyfriend didn't control her!
"Gosh, that would be quite a coincidence, wouldn't it?" she pretended to ponder, already having made up her mind. Rogue gave him a small wave and turned to leave. "Maybe Ah'll see yah 'round some time, Cajun."
Before she could go, Remy shot forward and placed something in her palm. "À bientôt (see you soon), chère," he murmured huskily, fixing her with his smouldering gaze. Something stirred within her in response, but before she could discern what it was, he walked away, his tan trench coat billowing behind him.
She watched him depart before turning her attention to what he had given her. A Queen of Hearts playing card? What did that mean? She shook her head in exasperation, but now it was of the playful variety. Sticking the card in her pocket, Rogue walked off, unaware of the extra bounce in her step.
- X -
By the time Rogue finally returned to her room, it was late. Dinner, a Danger Room session, and being dragged into the rec room to watch a movie with Kurt had filled up her evening. She was exhausted – it had been a long day.
After changing into her pyjamas, she let herself fall down onto the bed, stretching out and staying that way. Very soon, however, she burrowed under the covers. She wanted to fall asleep as quickly as possible, that left less time for her mind to wander, and she didn't want that – there were too many things for it to wonder about right now.
The number one topic, it seemed, was the swamp rat. Rogue still couldn't quite believe what had happened that afternoon, that they had managed to hold a civil conversation… There was definitely something about him, she just didn't know what yet. Unfortunately, her nagging conscience decided to come into play (awfully late, it seemed) and remind her of Pietro. Her boyfriend…
She ignored that pesky little voice. After all, she hadn't done anything wrong. Talking to someone wasn't a crime! There was nothing to worry about, Pietro was her boyfriend, Remy wasn't, and that was fine with her. That was how it would be. But dammit, she was thinking about it again, when she had told herself she wouldn't…
Refusing to give it any more attention, Rogue snuggled up to her pillow and soon drifted off to sleep. It was too bad that she had no control over her subconscious, because that night her dreams were of Remy LeBeau.
Gee, might Pietro be in some trouble? Bwa ha ha.
Next chapter – What does Kitty think of Rogue meeting Remy once more? Or better yet, what about Pietro? It's a pivotal chapter, so believe me, you won't wanna miss it!
Okay, time to beg for reviews. Hate it, like it, love it, want to marry it and have its babies? Let me know!
Toodles,
- ish -