A/N: Hello! ^^ First chapter's gonna be some random lines and scenes you definitely won't see in the series! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own trigun. Do you? Does someone you know do? Could you ask them to send it to me in the mail? Oh, you don't? That sucks. Now I'm sad. You know what would make me feel better? If you reviewed. Now read. Be happy. ^^ Happy is good.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*First Hand Randomness*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Knives is walking happily through the SEEDS ship when he comes to the dining and runs into a table. This unfortunately stubs his toe.

He looks at it in horror. "Did you just bump me!? Did you ACTUALLY JUST BUMP ME!? Oh, there's so much pain in my toooeee!" He kicks it in anger, managing to injure himself again. "Did you just bump me AGAIN!?" *throws at wall, smashing it*

He starts walking away, but steps on a sharp piece of wood. "Gyah! DIIIEEEE!" He shoots the remains of the table. He stares warily at a particulary menacing chunk. "What!?" *stare* "Are you gonna bump me again!? Are you actually going to bump be AGAIN!? AHHHH!" He starts shooting the rest of the table, continuing on until Legato finds him and takes away his gun.

"Master, what were you doing!?"

*sniffle* "It...it...it bumped me Li-ga-toe! It BUMPED me! I didn't think it was actually gonna do it, but it diiiiiiiid!"

"Ah geez..."

"WAAAAH!" The Plant clutches his foot and cries for the remainder of the day.

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Wolfwood: *sitting in a non-smoking section of a restaurant* "Hmm? Oh, no thanks. I don't drink."

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Midvalley: "Hey guys! This one time at band camp-"

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Legato: "Eww...hotdogs."

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Vash is in the middle of a bar fight. He looks up at the ceiling and squints drunkenly at a vision of Rem.

Rem: "Vash, this is not love and peace."

"Who ar youuuuuuu?" He slurs.

Rem: "This is your mother! Now restore love and peace in there right now before I do! Don't MAKE me come down there!"

"Whaaaaa?"

*SLAP!*

"Owww, wha you do tha for?"

Rem: "Because you're not doing LOVE AND PEACE!"

He pulls out his gun and shoots her. She falls from the rafters. "Err...I didin do nuffin!" He runs out of the building.

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Knives: "Haha. Spiders are so cool."

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Vash: *throws bakery bag across the room* "Donuts suck!"

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Wolfwood: "Oh God! Not more CHILDREN!"

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Knives: "This world is made of-"

Gung-ho Guns: "-love and peace!"

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Vash: "Wow, that's a lot of paper work."

Meryl: "Yeah. It's driving me crazy."

"...you should kill yourself."

"...what?"

"Suicide is the only answer!"

"Vash, are you feeling okay?"

"Embrace death!"

"Stop it Vash, you're scaring me!"

"BWA HAHAHAHAHA!"

Meryl picks up her typewriter and smacks it over his head. "You've been hanging out with Legato again, haven't you?"

*coughcough* "...eternal pain and suffering."

"I knew it." She hits him again before going back to work.

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Knives: *pointing gun at someone's head* "Should I...should I shoot him Rem? Rem, help me!"

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Vash trudges up the cliff, where he knew Legato would be waiting. After a couple of minutes of arguing about whether or not he should shoot him, some possessed villagers throw the insurance girls to the ground.

Millie: "WAAAH! Help us Mr. Vash!"

Vash: "Legato, don't do this!"

A gun shot is heard in the background. *GASP!* Vash whips around and sees Meryl's been shot.

Legato: "What are you doing idiots!? You're not supposed to shoot them yet!"

Random Villager: "Oh, sorry boss! Thought we had to kill 'em!"

The gung-ho gun smacks himself in the forehead.

Vash: "You bastard!" He shoots at Legato, but hits his belt and makes his pants fall down. He reads the boxers in horror. "I...heart...psychos? Aw, nasty!"

"No, no! It's not what you think!"

"Dirty! DIIIRTTYYY!" He chases him down, gun in hand, screaming at him to stay away from his brother.

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Knives is standing near Vash, pointing the two angel arms at him. Instead of gathering energy to shoot with, though, they start flapping like wings. Feathers fly as the massive weapons lift the Plant from the ground.

"What!? What the hell's going on!?"

"Haha!" Vash points and laughs. "You're like a little birdie!"

"It's not funny!"

"Caw caw, caw caw!"

"Help meeee!" Knives screams before flying off.

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Meryl walks up to everybody. "Hello! Everything is beautiful! HAHAHAHA!"

Vash nudges Millie. "Hey, what's wrong with Meryl?"

^^ "Ohh, her PMS finally stopped!"

"What do you mean? She's had her period all this time!?"

^^ "Yep!"

"Geeeez, it took long enough."

"Oh, don't worry Mr. Vash! She'll be her old self again in a few hours!"

"A few HOURS!?"

^^ "Of course!"

"But, but..." He starts crying "That's just not faaiiirrrr!"

"And it'll last another twenty years!"

"NooOOOoooOOOooOOO!"

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Knives prances through a meadow of flowers wearing the MSN butterfly wings.

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Millie is sitting at the table, staring at a cup of puding. She crosses her arms.

"No sir! I won't do anything of the sort!"

Pudding: ............

"I said no!"

.....

"For the last time, NO pudding!"

*silence*

"Fine! I'm not talking to you anymore!" She turns her back to the food.

...... .

"...what?"

.. .... .....

"Oh, really!?"

...

^^ "I love you pudding!" She grabs the snack and shoves it in her mouth, plastic and all.

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*Everyone's watching Trigun.*

"Vash...you're an idiot."

"Bitch!"

"Pudding!"

"Anyone got a smoke? This episode sucks."

"No! We're watching my show goddamnit!"

*silence*

"Oh man, that's so fake."

"Hey, I actually got shot."

"Look at that crap. The blood...it's just so fake!"

"That's real blood!"

"Oh...well nice acting."

"I'm not acting! That actually happened!"

"You're telling me Knives actually shot your arm off?"

"Stop referring to yourself in the third person! And yes, you DID shoot it off!"

"Oh...must've slipped my mind."

"WHAT!? How can you even REMOTELY forget about something like that!?"

"Hey, it happens."

"No it doesn't, you're a plant!"

"No, it does. Like this one time I forgot that I killed everyone on our old SEEDS ship."

"...WHAT?"

"Yeah!" *laughing* "I totally didn't remember blowing up that whore Rem! Isn't that hilarious!?"

"Son of a bitch!" Vash tackles his brother off the couch and beats the living shit out of him.

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Vash and Wolfwood are trying on the insurance girls' clothes.

Wolfwood: *looking in mirror* "Does this make my ass look big?"

Vash: "Naw man."

He smoothes out the yellow coat. "Are you sure it doesn't make me look fa-" He sees Vash behind him in the mirror. "Oh God, what are you doing?"

The outlaw has Meryl's dress on upside down. His legs are sticking out of the sleeves. He holds up the bottom part, confused. "What do i do with this?"

"No, no! You've got it all wrong!"

"I think it's a little short..." He bends over and peers between his legs. "Hey, what's this hole for?"

"That's where you head goes! You've got it backwards needle-noggin!"

O.O "My head? ...how strange. But I guess it makes sense." He starts unzipping his pants.

"Gyah! Not that one!"

"...oh." He zips it back up.

"And yeah, I think it's a little small for you."

Vash grabs the white cape that goes with the outfit. "How does this one go on?"

"Don't even try it."

He fumbles around with it for a minute and gives up. "Well, I wanna see how I look. Move." He starts walking towards the mirror. *RIIIIIIIIIIP!* "Oh shit!"

"Aw man, you just tore it in half! Meryl's gonna kill you!"

"No! I don't wanna die! I'm still too young!"

"What!? You're like a hundred thirty years old!"

"Help me Nicky!"

"Nicky!?"

"What do I dooo!?"

"Ruun!"

"WAAAHHH!" The gunman jumps out of the two-story window.

"...dumbass."

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A/N: That's it for now! Hoped you liked it! ^^

Umm, some stuff doesn't belong to me besides Trigun. Like the band camp thing. So yeah. You want the specifics? I know you don't. If by chance you do, ask. There. Now I won't be sued. This'll be the case for the rest of the chapters, too.

^^ REVIEW! ^^