((walks in and glares at Vana…then bursts out laughing)) Okay okay! Don't hit me any more…here's chapter four (I'm writing short chapters on this for a reason…what is it? Uh…((points at the sky)) Look! David Hewlett with his shirt off! ((runs away)) ).

Chapter Four: What Dreams May Come

"Oh."

There didn't seem to be much else to say to that, and they sat there, comfortable in the silence.

Then Elizabeth used her elbows to prop herself up and Rodney automatically helped her, fixing the pillows so that she would be sitting up, but comfortable. He was rewarded with a smile that sent small pleasurable sensations racing across his nerves. It wasn't that he didn't want to be attracted to her; it was just that he didn't want to be attracted to her.

He sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought.

"What's wrong?" Elizabeth asked, her face creasing in a frown.

Rodney looked away, pretending to be engrossed in the pattern the stitches in his pants made. There was no way, no matter what happened, that he was going to let her know he found her sexy. That concern she was showing, and even the friendly banter they shared sometimes would turn quickly into something not as nice, just like all the other women in his life.

No, by far better to keep his distance. Though how he was going to do that and still have a hand in raising his child, he didn't know.

"Rodney, I know there's something wrong," her voice had that authoritative edge to it, that brooked no argument.

"It's just that I…well…" he stopped and looked back at her. There was nothing censuring in her gaze, so he continued, "It's just so damn weird. I mean, I always thought I'd have children some day, but I figured it would be in the old fashioned way."

She stared at him, her fingers clutching the bedspread, so many emotions crossing her expression, he couldn't tell one from the other. Finally, she said, "I understand. I feel the same way. I mean, I'm about to have a child in a tenth of the time it should normally take." A small nervous chuckle escaped her before she continued, "But it has happened, and we can't change that fact. The only thing we can do, is see what happens from here."

She had been looking him straight in the eye the whole time, the dark blue of her gaze imploring him to listen to what she was saying. How could he disagree with that look? He'd never been able to in the past, so he nodded and patted her hand.

"We'll see what happens from here."

Elizabeth graced him with another smile and lay back on the pillows again. Her eyes lost their focus for a minute and she mumbled, "Yeah, I really shouldn't fight it, should I? No…no I've got to."

"Elizabeth?" Rodney asked, his voice going high pitched in concern.

She jerked her gaze back to him and reddened. "I uh…was just…"

"Talking to yourself? Let me call Doctor Beckett…"

"No!" Elizabeth protested loudly; then in a softer voice added, "I'm just having an argument with myself about something. Nothing to be worried about."

"Nothing to be worried about? After everything you've seen in your time with the Stargate Program, and you don't think talking to yourself is something to be concerned over?" Rodney gazed at her skeptically, remembering what Carson had said to him just a few minutes ago. "I'll just get Doctor Beckett to take a look at you. You might have some brain damage or something."

Elizabeth's face immediately stiffened and she looked away from him. "So…" she began, "So now you think I'm crazy." It wasn't a question.

"No," Rodney told her, "I don't think you're crazy. I just think you've been having a very bad couple of days and…"

"It's all your fault you know."

The words were so soft, so matter of fact, that Rodney didn't immediately register the accusation. When he did, he felt a hurt so deep he could barely breath. "I see," he said in a strangled voice, "Well, when you've made up your mind as to whether or not I'm responsible for your 'condition', just tell me. No wait, don't. We'll just forget we ever had this conversation."

If she protested, he didn't hear. He was too angry, too hurt. He'd thought she was different, but he had been wrong, and he stalked from the infirmary, ignoring her calls for him to come back.

xxxxxx

Elizabeth frowned slightly as she watched Rodney storm out. She had the vague sense that she had said something wrong, that he hadn't understood what she meant, but was too angry that he thought she was insane to care much.

Liar, said the sly voice of the imp, You do care and you want to make it up to him.

Shut up! She thought desperately. She did not need this right now. But the imp didn't seem to care. It chuckled lightly, and she closed her eyes, intent on getting back to sleep so she wouldn't have to hear it.

She awoke some time later, to find Rodney hovering over her. Surprised, she opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing, but he placed his hand over her lips and she subsided. He didn't immediately begin speaking, but played with the sheet, her hair and then her fingers. He took each of them between each of his own, gently caressing them, his entire concentration taken by the task.

Her breath caught in her throat and her pulse quickened, but she didn't stop him; it felt too good. That was also the reason she didn't stop him when he moved from her fingers to her arm, inspecting it as though it were one of his machines.

He leaned forward slightly, and she could feel the puff of breath on her face as he whispered into her ear, "Wake up Elizabeth…"

"Huh?"

"Wake up…"

She jerked awake to find Carson gazing at her in concern, and the disappointment she felt was so keen, she had to close her eyes again. When she opened them, Carson was still there.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

He looked away and she frowned in annoyance. "Carson, I'm a big girl. I can take it, honestly."

"Rodney…he was feeling so guilty about what he'd done to you that…" the doctor swallowed convulsively before continuing, "He…he killed himself."

"NOOOOOO!"

The scream woke her for real this time, and Elizabeth had to forcefully control her breathing as she blinked rapidly at the room. This was getting to be tiresome. She was starting to have trouble knowing what was real and what was dream. Maybe Rodney was right. Maybe she was going crazy.

No, she thought, I can't be. I have too many responsibilities.

Whatever was going on, she wasn't going to risk going back to sleep. Not now. Carefully, she rolled off the bed and made her way to the door. No one stopped her this time, and she continued all the way to her quarters, where she changed into some regular clothes with relief.