A/N: Woo-hoo! I updated! ::runs around in circles:: Happiness happiness AHH!!!

::pant pant::

Sorry, had to get that pent up hyperness out. ::stare:: Yay, reviews! You guys are the best!

Aoi Mochidzuki: I know, aren't they great? Now imagine the Gung-Ho Guns drunk...o.o;;

Blu: I blame the sugar, too. I do not have A.D.D.! ::chases butterfly::

Dark Wanderer: I'll save you from the giant green jelly bean! ::swoops down on rope crashes into computer:: Erm...::pats on head:: It'll be alright! Oh, and what's the 'Safty Dance'? -.- Sorry, I haven't heard of it before, but if you could describe it to me or give me the lyrics or somethin', I'd be happy to put it in there!

doomsdaybringer: ::gasp:: You just squeed! ::covers ears:: NOOOOOO!!! ; Eh-heh. Glad you liked it!

fpg: ::laughs at you::

geranium: Alright, alright.

Hiei's Gurl 247: O.O Oh my. I seem to have that effect on a lot of people. XD Hope you didn't hurt your bum!

Kawaiibabe14: o.o ::puts hand on keyboard:: That's not good for your health...and thanks for the ideas. I shall think upon them. ::nod::

kitsunedemon: Lovely definition. Now explain to me why there are two suns on Gunsmoke and I'll give ya a cookie.

Moon Dragoness273: I have continued! Rejoice!

Padfoot's Pup: Why thank ye.

Pudding333: I know, isn't Knives crazy?! ::twitch:: And behold...I've cheered up! It's all thanks to your wonderful reviews. Feel the love.

Strangelittlegirl1: Be glad again, for here is another update!

wolfpack: Hehe NYA! I agree! XD Hope you love this one just as much!

Thanks a lot people! ::glompage:: I lurve yooouuuu!

Disclaimer: Stillll don't own Trigun. ::hugs plushies:: One day, one day, one day...

NOTE: All that crap was written a while ago, because that's when I first planned to make another chapter of this. A while ago. ::sweatdrop:: Go me and my horrid procrastination...::is now in a sour mood::

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::A Simple Formula::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Like so many other times with the Gung-Ho Guns, it's a boring day in the crashed SEEDS ship they call home. Let's take a look at what they're doing, shall we?

::outside view of SEEDS ship:: ...erm, what is he DOING?

::zooms in on Legato, who's on a rather tall ladder scrubbing furiously at the letters:: I see you've...planted some lovely flowers in the front garden as well...

He waves his hand dismissively, muttering curses under his breath. Poor Legato. At least he hasn't been reduced to wearing an apron yet...::shrug:: Let's continue.

::enter the SEEDS ship:: Whoa, kinda creepy in here. Aren't they supposed to have nice carpet and stuff? Hmm... uh-oh. What's that noise?:: goes down the hall and pauses at a door:: Let's listen...

::muffled laughter:: Good idea! shriek ORGY TIIIME!!

What?! What the hell are they doing in there!? ::whips open door:: ....oh.

Caine the Longshot is sitting in the corner with a dictionary in his hand, looking up the word "orgy". Half the Gung-Ho Guns are rolling on the floor laughing up a storm while the rest are piled up on the bed, a blanket sloppily thrown on top of them.

Um...why don't any of you have shoes on?

Caine casually walks over and points to the definition of orgy. It reads: "Two or more people under the covers with nothing on their feet." ...well, that explains a lot.

They begin climbing off of each other, someone yelling once in a while about being poked by someone else's spikes or whatnot. Pretty soon there's a mass of giggling assassins on the floor. ...idiots.

Alright, alright, listen up people.

"Demons!"

...demons. Knives cordially requests your presence at the auditorium for...entertainment purposes.

They all gasp, not one of them picking up on the sinister tone at the end of the statement. Like an exodus of cattle from a ranch to...somewhere other than the ranch...the Gung-Ho-Guns ran, rolled, and teleported their way over to the only room on the SEEDS ship with a stage.

Now here's a simple formula. KNIVES STAGEBAD. Everybody write it down? Good.

The psychotic plant waves enthusiastically to the camera and practically skips over to the equally psychotic assassins. He opens his mouth, making everyone subconsciously lean forward. What was he going to announce? A massacre for all to see? A nice story of slaughter and mayhem? A demonstration of his unfathomable power, perhaps?

Nope. He opened his mouth, and like a gay clothes designer began to pick apart each and every one of their outfits. The shell was too large, the shoulder spikes too tacky, the eye patch...well, he wasn't even going there. Tch.

His servants' spirits crack a little more than they previously had through all the years of training pains and senseless beatings as they listen to him point out clashing colors and horrendous hair styles. Flip, flip was what the needed. And pinash. Whatever the Hell that meant.

What had become of their beloved dark lord? He was already passing out roles by the time the first one of them recovered and politely suggested he was on crack. But no, that notion was just plain "silly", the idea shot down before you could say "what the fu-"

And since it was thrown out before you could finish that oh-so-lovely word, we're not going there.

::ahem::

"Why?! Why are there so many lines?!"

"How do you pronounce this...?"

"Wherefore? Why is she asking where he is when he's clearly standing right over there?"

"It means 'why', doofus."

"Keh! Sorry I don't speak freaky-deaky Shakespearian..."

That's right. The entertainment for the night would be the Gung-Ho Gun's rendition of "Romeo and Juliet", directed and re-produced by the infamous Millions Knives himself. ::waves flag:: Hooray.

The actors were to be dressed according to their roles. Or at least, that was the plan. For one, Dominique was refusing to put on a dress (that was obviously too small for her), everyone was pretty much dissatisfied with their characters, and the men were likewise refusing to wear what Knives was calling "codpieces". Need I go into detail about what codpieces do to the male crotch?

I didn't think so.

Someone screamed as they singed themselves on one of the many floor lights. A couple snickered, remembered their situation, and went back to sulking. Knives tapped his foot on the floor impatiently and waited for everyone to take their places. "Don't make me take out my angel arm," he threatened slowly.

Their was mass rushing on the stage for a moment before everyone settled down and they were ready to begin.

From the left of the stage the large robot known as Grey the Nine Lives saunters into view, wearing as much spandex as they could afford to give him on his numerous mechanical parts. He looks behind him to make sure the now shell-less E.G. Mine had followed, and begins to read his lines in a monotonous, computer-fabricated voice:

"Gregory, o' my word, we'll not carry coals." bleep

E.G. shivers in his costume, feeling naked without his darling spiked shell. He looks down at the script for assistance and replies:

"No, for then we should be colliers."

A blue-covered head pops out from the right of the stage, the dressed body hidden. "The cast was wondering what 'collier' meant, Master."

Knives frowns at his servants' incompetence. He told them to save questions for the end! "I don't know," he shrugs blatantly. "Someone working with coal!"

"Ah, many thanks, Master." The head is withdrawn.

"Rrr..." The Plant rubs his forehead in agitation. He waves his hands towards the stage to signal continuation.

Grey nods his whole body to make up for no neck and proceeds on. "I mean, an we be in choler, we'll draw."

The blue head once again emerges from behind the curtain. "Forgive us, Master, but the cast was just curious about the definition of 'choler'."

Knives brings up the thick playwright in his hand and smacks it repeatedly against his forehead. Those..stupid..stupidheads!! He stands up in a huff. "What is so hard about this script?!" He throws the papers towards the stage. "Just read the lines like I told you! GRAR!!"

The Gung-Ho Guns hesitatingly come into view, all dressed in costume and clutching their scripts, after a minute or so of hearing their Master rampage amongst the empty audience. They look at each other for guidance.

"Maybe we should comfort him..."

"He'll kill us, man!"

A chair flies over their heads.

"...I think he needs consolation."

"Y-yeah."

They inch over to the raging super-being and slowly surround him in a great hug. He stops uprooting the next set of furniture and sniffs a little. He couldn't resist The Hug.

He pushes them all away after a minute and wipes a tear from his eye. "I overreacted. I'm sorry."

They gasp in unison.

He realizes what just came out of his mouth and grows red. "I mean-!" He points at his right-hand man imposingly. "You shall all receive beatings for this, this hanus act!"

Someone wails. "We're all gonna die!!"

"WAAAAHHHHH!!"

There's a thud as a body hits the floor.

"Ow..."

"Wait," Legato calmly interjects. "Who's going to issue these beatings?"

The assassins all stare, waiting for a reply.

"...no one," Knives sighs. No one was better at torture than his Gun-Guns.

"Very well," Legato uprights himself. "I'm off to my chambers."

Everyone grumbles in agreement and head for the door. Everyone except for Leonoff, that is. Traitor!

"Master..." he kneels before the depressed Plant. "I could have my children play this out, if you so wish."

The Gung-Ho-Guns freeze by the doorway.

Knives blinks and an insane but happy smile spreads across his features. "Yes, go! Right away!"

The Puppet Master bows a little more and retrieves his suitcase shortly, the murderous bunch near the door directing their murderous glares at him.

In the end, the Gung-Ho Guns were forced to endure Knive's asinine production, though he was quite thrilled about it. Leonoff's children played their parts well, and when it was all over, he passed out from the mental exertion. And got a good kicking by his comrades as they filed out of the auditorium and into their respective rooms, where screams and sobs of mortification could be heard throughout the night.

:::::::::::FIN::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A/N: Gods, this wasn't even funny. Ah, well, I felt the need to make another chapter, and make another chapter I did.

Oh yes, the orgy definition thing...I heard of that definition a while ago, so please don't look it up in a dictionary. -.- It will not give you the same meaning.

Well, leave a review if you wanna make me happy and possibly encourage me to make more chapters that weren't just pulled out of my ass in the future. ::wave::