Hiro walked slowly the same path in the park now for the fourth time, hands
still shoved in his pockets carefully and eyes not being taken off the wet
ground. He had been caught in the downpour earlier, but that was of no
concern to him. A little rain never hurt anyone. Nothing could compare to
the impairment his best friend had been putting him through and shattering
his heart to pieces.
Twice now tears threatened to brim his beautiful eyes, but furiously brushed them away each time. He was a guy; guys don't cry. Guys are heartless. Just like that bastard Eiri.
"I hate him," Hiro whispered. "I've never hated or wished death upon anyone before, but I wish he would...oh why can't I say it?!" he yelled, kicking a helpless rock out of his path with full force. "I want him dead!"
After that, his body betrayed him. Nakano Hiroshi was one with the pavement, hands thrown over his face and gushing rivers.
"Dammit Shuichi! Have you forgotten everything important to you?! Why have you forgotten about me?!"
Countless questions, even those of incoherence, rolled off his tongue. Anything that came to his mind, he would say. Mostly it was language of innumerable hurt.
"H-Hiroshi-san?"
Hiro tore his hands away from his face and met eye to eye with his current band partner.
"Oh...Suguru!" In a wave of panic, he dried his eyes and tried to wipe out all the visible obvious facts that he had been showing his emotional side.
Suguru knew exactly why Hiro was being this way. Not being blunt, he talked it out, prepared to hear the same thing he's been hearing about their band star.
"You don't have to be shifty just because I showed up. What's wrong, Hiroshi-san? We're pals now, right?" he asked, kneeling.
Hiro looked at him no further. "I'm sorry, I don't want to burden you with added information. I don't want to be like him."
Slowly, he felt himself being pulled into a soft embrace.
"Don't be tough around me, Hiroshi, I'll listen to you talk. Shindou-san has been my friend for a few short weeks, but I'm still concerned for him."
Hiro held back his tears no longer. He had leaped out of his façade shell as fast as lightning and showed off his true feelings. Soon, Suguru's right shoulder was flooded. Suguru smiled small and ran his hand slowly up and down Hiro's back, keeping him at peace as much as he could. "I'm s-sorry Suguru, I'm not like this normally. Shuichi means a lot to me, I hate seeing him like this and it's breaking me up, making me someone I'm not!"
Suguru felt the pain his friend was feeling. He hugged him closer, bodies becoming inseparable.
"Go ahead Hiroshi, let it out. Let it all out. Sometimes it's good to."
Hiro listened to Suguru's words like it came from a calm and soothing pacifist in a war of bomb droppings. No one has ever cared for him enough to suggest such information or even sit down with him long enough to listen to his problems. Sure he was popular at school with the women, but they were just after his looks, not what was inside. This was an incredibly new soothing sensation and he rejected none.
He felt Suguru's hand running smoothly down the back of his head and his whispered words of reassurance. Suddenly, he pulled away, feeling slightly uncomfortable. He locked gazes with Suguru before his mind could register to brush away his streaked cheeks.
"What's wrong Hiroshi-san?"
Words couldn't explain it. He didn't know what was wrong. Was he about to talk to Suguru about the way he was making him feel or the way he made him felt.
"Why...are you helping me?"
Suguru smiled a smile that raised Hiro's body temperature and brought blood to the surface of his face, growing hot on the spot.
"Hiroshi, you're my friend. It's my job to make sure you're at ease."
"Call me Hiro...Why do you, like, you know...care...about me, of all people?"
Suguru never lost his smile.
"You're one of my best friends Hiro. You and Shuichi."
For the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, a smile came upon Hiro's face that wasn't forced.
"Thanks Suguru. Thanks for everything."
"If you ever need anything Hiro-san, don't be afraid to ask. I'm more than a band partner, you know."
He rose to his feet, helping Hiro up with him.
"I know."
"Well, I'm glad we could officially meet. We've always been so busy fighting and never had a chance."
Hiro nodded once in acknowledgement, letting out a small and defeated chuckle. Before he knew it, he was right back to his old self. "I've grown close though with Shuichi, but it looks like that's all shot to hell now."
Suguru lead the way out of there with Hiro at his side.
Hiro let out a sigh, continuing, "I'd hate to think of someone like Shuichi falling victim to obsession. I knew he was in the market for a charming girl to get to know, but...I never thought he would choose one of the same sex! It's hard having to deal with it. I always thought Shuichi was the most perfect best friend anyone could ever have. We wrote music, we performed, we hung out every day after school, and now look at us. Sakano gave us a week to arrange a new music piece that Seguchi Tohma was nice enough to help us create and Shuichi won't have anything to do with it! It's like everything we've worked so hard for is being sucked down the tubes!"
Suguru rubbed his back. "And how does this make you feel?" Hiro's eyes went wide. "How do you think that makes me feel?! I'm hurt, that's what! If Shuichi didn't want to be friends anymore, he should have at least hinted me on the fact!"
"He wants to be your friend, Hiro. Believe it or not, he wants you more than anyone else right now. You've given him more comfort than Eiri Yuki could ever cook up. You just need to do with him what I did to you. You need to sit him down and talk things over with him and let his emotions come to the surface. He's keeping all of it inside, making things worse for him, and for yourself."
Hiro hesitated for a short moment, then nodded briefly. "You're right. Doing what I did today probably wasn't the best approach. I yelled at him. I didn't mean to though! All the anger just built up inside me and I released the harsh words on him and went to the aftermath in tears when I thought I was alone." "You'll never be alone, Hiro. Shuichi will always love you. If he didn't have you at a time like this, he'd probably be dead."
Hiro cringed at the words. Just the thought of Shuichi lying motionless on the ground with self inflicted wounds made his heart fall to pieces. He couldn't handle seeing the real thing. "Oh please don't say that Suguru," he said, mouth going dry.
"I'm sorry, but I speak the truth. Him telling you about Eiri-san constantly keeps him alive. At least now he knows he could always come to you if he ever needed anything." Hiro stopped in his place. Suguru halted as well.
"Hiro? What—"
"I told him not to talk to me about Eiri Yuki any longer. I told him that we weren't friends anymore as long as he was like this. Oh Suguru, I wasn't thinking about him and suicide! I didn't know he needed me like that!" He threw his hands over his face. "Fuck!"
Suguru slowly embraced him from behind.
"Hiro, calm down."
Hiro's angry side took over yet again and he yanked himself out of Suguru's fragile grasp.
"Calm down?! I will not calm down! Do you have ANY idea that Shuichi could very well at this moment be dead because of my bluntness and stupidity?! He thought I didn't care! What if he never makes it home?! What if he feels the only way out is with the help of a gun at the temple or a leap off a cliff onto some jagged rocks?! How do you think I'm going to feel if this situation arises, huh?!"
Suguru swallowed and tried to keep calm. "Then you need to find him, Hiro. Look for him and assure yourself it's not going to.
Keep him close to you and solve his problems. Listen to what he has to say." Hiro felt his sixth sense coming on strongly for Shuichi, feeling something bad happened that made his blood curdle and his pulse quicken.
"I will. Thanks for everything Suguru, see you around?"
Suguru grinned and bowed his head.
"Ja Hiro, good luck. Be well."
Hiro pivoted and ran. He didn't know where he was going, but all he knew was he had to find Shuichi before Shuichi found the hard way out. Little did he know, his thoughts weren't far off.
Twice now tears threatened to brim his beautiful eyes, but furiously brushed them away each time. He was a guy; guys don't cry. Guys are heartless. Just like that bastard Eiri.
"I hate him," Hiro whispered. "I've never hated or wished death upon anyone before, but I wish he would...oh why can't I say it?!" he yelled, kicking a helpless rock out of his path with full force. "I want him dead!"
After that, his body betrayed him. Nakano Hiroshi was one with the pavement, hands thrown over his face and gushing rivers.
"Dammit Shuichi! Have you forgotten everything important to you?! Why have you forgotten about me?!"
Countless questions, even those of incoherence, rolled off his tongue. Anything that came to his mind, he would say. Mostly it was language of innumerable hurt.
"H-Hiroshi-san?"
Hiro tore his hands away from his face and met eye to eye with his current band partner.
"Oh...Suguru!" In a wave of panic, he dried his eyes and tried to wipe out all the visible obvious facts that he had been showing his emotional side.
Suguru knew exactly why Hiro was being this way. Not being blunt, he talked it out, prepared to hear the same thing he's been hearing about their band star.
"You don't have to be shifty just because I showed up. What's wrong, Hiroshi-san? We're pals now, right?" he asked, kneeling.
Hiro looked at him no further. "I'm sorry, I don't want to burden you with added information. I don't want to be like him."
Slowly, he felt himself being pulled into a soft embrace.
"Don't be tough around me, Hiroshi, I'll listen to you talk. Shindou-san has been my friend for a few short weeks, but I'm still concerned for him."
Hiro held back his tears no longer. He had leaped out of his façade shell as fast as lightning and showed off his true feelings. Soon, Suguru's right shoulder was flooded. Suguru smiled small and ran his hand slowly up and down Hiro's back, keeping him at peace as much as he could. "I'm s-sorry Suguru, I'm not like this normally. Shuichi means a lot to me, I hate seeing him like this and it's breaking me up, making me someone I'm not!"
Suguru felt the pain his friend was feeling. He hugged him closer, bodies becoming inseparable.
"Go ahead Hiroshi, let it out. Let it all out. Sometimes it's good to."
Hiro listened to Suguru's words like it came from a calm and soothing pacifist in a war of bomb droppings. No one has ever cared for him enough to suggest such information or even sit down with him long enough to listen to his problems. Sure he was popular at school with the women, but they were just after his looks, not what was inside. This was an incredibly new soothing sensation and he rejected none.
He felt Suguru's hand running smoothly down the back of his head and his whispered words of reassurance. Suddenly, he pulled away, feeling slightly uncomfortable. He locked gazes with Suguru before his mind could register to brush away his streaked cheeks.
"What's wrong Hiroshi-san?"
Words couldn't explain it. He didn't know what was wrong. Was he about to talk to Suguru about the way he was making him feel or the way he made him felt.
"Why...are you helping me?"
Suguru smiled a smile that raised Hiro's body temperature and brought blood to the surface of his face, growing hot on the spot.
"Hiroshi, you're my friend. It's my job to make sure you're at ease."
"Call me Hiro...Why do you, like, you know...care...about me, of all people?"
Suguru never lost his smile.
"You're one of my best friends Hiro. You and Shuichi."
For the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, a smile came upon Hiro's face that wasn't forced.
"Thanks Suguru. Thanks for everything."
"If you ever need anything Hiro-san, don't be afraid to ask. I'm more than a band partner, you know."
He rose to his feet, helping Hiro up with him.
"I know."
"Well, I'm glad we could officially meet. We've always been so busy fighting and never had a chance."
Hiro nodded once in acknowledgement, letting out a small and defeated chuckle. Before he knew it, he was right back to his old self. "I've grown close though with Shuichi, but it looks like that's all shot to hell now."
Suguru lead the way out of there with Hiro at his side.
Hiro let out a sigh, continuing, "I'd hate to think of someone like Shuichi falling victim to obsession. I knew he was in the market for a charming girl to get to know, but...I never thought he would choose one of the same sex! It's hard having to deal with it. I always thought Shuichi was the most perfect best friend anyone could ever have. We wrote music, we performed, we hung out every day after school, and now look at us. Sakano gave us a week to arrange a new music piece that Seguchi Tohma was nice enough to help us create and Shuichi won't have anything to do with it! It's like everything we've worked so hard for is being sucked down the tubes!"
Suguru rubbed his back. "And how does this make you feel?" Hiro's eyes went wide. "How do you think that makes me feel?! I'm hurt, that's what! If Shuichi didn't want to be friends anymore, he should have at least hinted me on the fact!"
"He wants to be your friend, Hiro. Believe it or not, he wants you more than anyone else right now. You've given him more comfort than Eiri Yuki could ever cook up. You just need to do with him what I did to you. You need to sit him down and talk things over with him and let his emotions come to the surface. He's keeping all of it inside, making things worse for him, and for yourself."
Hiro hesitated for a short moment, then nodded briefly. "You're right. Doing what I did today probably wasn't the best approach. I yelled at him. I didn't mean to though! All the anger just built up inside me and I released the harsh words on him and went to the aftermath in tears when I thought I was alone." "You'll never be alone, Hiro. Shuichi will always love you. If he didn't have you at a time like this, he'd probably be dead."
Hiro cringed at the words. Just the thought of Shuichi lying motionless on the ground with self inflicted wounds made his heart fall to pieces. He couldn't handle seeing the real thing. "Oh please don't say that Suguru," he said, mouth going dry.
"I'm sorry, but I speak the truth. Him telling you about Eiri-san constantly keeps him alive. At least now he knows he could always come to you if he ever needed anything." Hiro stopped in his place. Suguru halted as well.
"Hiro? What—"
"I told him not to talk to me about Eiri Yuki any longer. I told him that we weren't friends anymore as long as he was like this. Oh Suguru, I wasn't thinking about him and suicide! I didn't know he needed me like that!" He threw his hands over his face. "Fuck!"
Suguru slowly embraced him from behind.
"Hiro, calm down."
Hiro's angry side took over yet again and he yanked himself out of Suguru's fragile grasp.
"Calm down?! I will not calm down! Do you have ANY idea that Shuichi could very well at this moment be dead because of my bluntness and stupidity?! He thought I didn't care! What if he never makes it home?! What if he feels the only way out is with the help of a gun at the temple or a leap off a cliff onto some jagged rocks?! How do you think I'm going to feel if this situation arises, huh?!"
Suguru swallowed and tried to keep calm. "Then you need to find him, Hiro. Look for him and assure yourself it's not going to.
Keep him close to you and solve his problems. Listen to what he has to say." Hiro felt his sixth sense coming on strongly for Shuichi, feeling something bad happened that made his blood curdle and his pulse quicken.
"I will. Thanks for everything Suguru, see you around?"
Suguru grinned and bowed his head.
"Ja Hiro, good luck. Be well."
Hiro pivoted and ran. He didn't know where he was going, but all he knew was he had to find Shuichi before Shuichi found the hard way out. Little did he know, his thoughts weren't far off.