Eiri hadn't gotten up yet and Shuichi was up on the couch, watching the
news, bawling quietly to the news he had just heard about Tohma. Just then,
and forgetting about the still sleeping Eiri, he stormed out and headed to
the studio.
__________________
Hiro was in the process of helping with pushing the reporters away when Mika came into view. She looked worse than everyone combined. Her eyes were extremely puffy and it looked like she had been crying for a half a year non-stop. In one hand, she carried a soaking wet handkerchief. In the other, she held that corny hat that Tohma always wore.
"Are you sure you want to be here, Mika-san?" Hiro asked.
She let out a tiny whimper and nodded.
"It's okay. I knew something would happen to Tohma like this. He wasn't happy, not even with me!"
She brought the handkerchief to her nose and sniffed back the tears that followed.
"He loved my brother, he always has. I could see it. The only reason he married me was to get closer to him!"
"Oh Mika-san, I'm sure that's not true."
"Oh really?!" she cried, fury in her eyes. "I know he did! He's been so distant from me! He wouldn't even sleep in the same bed with me! He committed suicide because of the fact he couldn't get in my brother's pants!"
She had spat that so forcefully that it made Hiro cringe.
"That just gives me one more reason to hate Shuichi!"
"Shuichi's not the problem," came an immediate voice from behind Hiro.
Hiro turned his head to the door quickly, then backed away slowly when he discovered who it was.
Eiri walked slowly into the quiet room they were standing in, hands shoved in his pockets and a cigarette in between his lips.
"You've always been one to blame others, Mika," he said with a slight smirk.
Mika clenched her fist at her brother. "Shut up!"
"He just didn't want to see your face any longer, can't say I blame him."
"Well fine, you're to fault then! You knew of his feelings for you!"
Eiri merely shrugged. "So, what's the point? Can't handle the fact that your baby brother got his heart won by someone that used you to get close to him?"
Hiro felt as if he were stuck in the middle of all this, looking at each individual with wide eyes. He was frozen when Eiri met him back.
"Get lost, puke," he ordered roughly.
Hiro nodded quickly and dodged out of the room as fast as he could. The second he left and shut the door, Mika had never been so emotional in all her life. Even as Hiro walked down the wall, he could still hear her screaming at her brother.
The whole time Mika yelled at Eiri, she verbally bashed Shuichi to him. She called him every bad name she could think of, until Eiri grabbed her by the shoulders and accidental rage built up within him, sending Mika to the ground with the cause of a loud and painful slap across the face. Eiri stepped backwards; alarmed and shocked, eyes stretched open to their maximum and staring at his trembling hand.
Mika just continued to sob lightly, sitting on the floor in the position she fell in.
"So it's true then," she said in a low voice. "You haven't changed a bit. I was hoping you would when you left and hadn't been back home in years." She looked up at him with a tired expression, due to crying to a strong extent.
"M-Mika, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
She shook her head sadly. "It's not your fault, Eiri. I should have been more compassionate towards you. I've just decided that...I'm not going to let Tohma's death get to me anymore. I loved him, but I thought he loved me in return. I had no idea that he was just using me to get to you," she whispered, clutching his hat in her arms.
"Mika, that's not true. Tohma cared. He said so himself."
She let out a little helpless chuckle.
"Even if that were true Eiri, he loved you twice as much. Did you love him in return?"
Eiri's lips parted, but nothing came out at first. Mika's weak eyes set on his. He could plainly see that her heart was torn beyond question.
"I know I loved him. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have married him. At first, he seemed so happy, but now...it just all boils down to you, brother."
Eiri offered her his hand. She took it and stood up, fingering the edge of the black hat, not meeting Eiri's eyes.
"But I do ask you though...did you love him?"
Eiri froze right in the middle of pulling out a cigarette. He was hoping that godforsaken question wouldn't arise again. He sighed.
"Mika...okay, fine, I did, but I was younger. He's the only one that would listen to me. If it weren't for him leading me to believe that male and male relationships weren't at all wrong, I probably wouldn't be with Shuichi."
Mika nodded.
"Okay. I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble, Eiri. I guess I'll never know the real reason why Tohma's gone..."
___________________
"Hiro...are you angry with me?" Shuichi asked in a low voice as he stood perfectly still in the same room together, only Hiro's back was turned to him. He still felt deeply hurt from their last encounter.
"I don't blame you if you are. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have reacted that way when you kissed me. I guess...I just took it the wrong way."
"Don't be sorry, I'm the one who should be."
Shuichi stepped forth, closer to Hiro.
"But that doesn't matter anymore. Hiro, this isn't the day to be fighting. Tohma's gone and Ryuichi's pinning the blame on himself. Tohma was his life. But either way you put it, it seems to end up being all my fault because I got with Yuki and got the shit beaten out of me once again."
Hiro felt a deep sudden urge to embrace his friend, but held back. So many things were happening at once that it confused him. Now that one of them was back to normal, they would have to suffer together the loss of their president and friend.
"Hiro..."
Shuichi embraced Hiro from behind, resting his head against his back.
"Oh Shuichi," Hiro whispered identically.
"I feel so bad for Sakuma-san. I've never seen him so hurt before. He told the reporters that it was his fault. He doesn't lie. He's scared and none of us know the real reason."
__________________
Six hours and much crying later, the reporters were finally gone after getting enough gossip to satisfy them and feeling as though they made quite a profit. Hiro and Shuichi sat on the velvet red couch in their studio room, Suguru sat on the opposite side of them and K stood behind him, resting his hand comfortingly on his shoulder. K was never good with being sympathetic, so he tried his best to act it.
Suguru's eyes would be seen constantly looking over at Tohma's desk as if he expected him to show up there and put on his heartwarming grin. No one knew though how much pain was behind that grin. It wasn't all Yuki Eiri behind his pain; there were other reasons for it. Some of which would probably never get answered.
__________________
Hiro was in the process of helping with pushing the reporters away when Mika came into view. She looked worse than everyone combined. Her eyes were extremely puffy and it looked like she had been crying for a half a year non-stop. In one hand, she carried a soaking wet handkerchief. In the other, she held that corny hat that Tohma always wore.
"Are you sure you want to be here, Mika-san?" Hiro asked.
She let out a tiny whimper and nodded.
"It's okay. I knew something would happen to Tohma like this. He wasn't happy, not even with me!"
She brought the handkerchief to her nose and sniffed back the tears that followed.
"He loved my brother, he always has. I could see it. The only reason he married me was to get closer to him!"
"Oh Mika-san, I'm sure that's not true."
"Oh really?!" she cried, fury in her eyes. "I know he did! He's been so distant from me! He wouldn't even sleep in the same bed with me! He committed suicide because of the fact he couldn't get in my brother's pants!"
She had spat that so forcefully that it made Hiro cringe.
"That just gives me one more reason to hate Shuichi!"
"Shuichi's not the problem," came an immediate voice from behind Hiro.
Hiro turned his head to the door quickly, then backed away slowly when he discovered who it was.
Eiri walked slowly into the quiet room they were standing in, hands shoved in his pockets and a cigarette in between his lips.
"You've always been one to blame others, Mika," he said with a slight smirk.
Mika clenched her fist at her brother. "Shut up!"
"He just didn't want to see your face any longer, can't say I blame him."
"Well fine, you're to fault then! You knew of his feelings for you!"
Eiri merely shrugged. "So, what's the point? Can't handle the fact that your baby brother got his heart won by someone that used you to get close to him?"
Hiro felt as if he were stuck in the middle of all this, looking at each individual with wide eyes. He was frozen when Eiri met him back.
"Get lost, puke," he ordered roughly.
Hiro nodded quickly and dodged out of the room as fast as he could. The second he left and shut the door, Mika had never been so emotional in all her life. Even as Hiro walked down the wall, he could still hear her screaming at her brother.
The whole time Mika yelled at Eiri, she verbally bashed Shuichi to him. She called him every bad name she could think of, until Eiri grabbed her by the shoulders and accidental rage built up within him, sending Mika to the ground with the cause of a loud and painful slap across the face. Eiri stepped backwards; alarmed and shocked, eyes stretched open to their maximum and staring at his trembling hand.
Mika just continued to sob lightly, sitting on the floor in the position she fell in.
"So it's true then," she said in a low voice. "You haven't changed a bit. I was hoping you would when you left and hadn't been back home in years." She looked up at him with a tired expression, due to crying to a strong extent.
"M-Mika, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
She shook her head sadly. "It's not your fault, Eiri. I should have been more compassionate towards you. I've just decided that...I'm not going to let Tohma's death get to me anymore. I loved him, but I thought he loved me in return. I had no idea that he was just using me to get to you," she whispered, clutching his hat in her arms.
"Mika, that's not true. Tohma cared. He said so himself."
She let out a little helpless chuckle.
"Even if that were true Eiri, he loved you twice as much. Did you love him in return?"
Eiri's lips parted, but nothing came out at first. Mika's weak eyes set on his. He could plainly see that her heart was torn beyond question.
"I know I loved him. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have married him. At first, he seemed so happy, but now...it just all boils down to you, brother."
Eiri offered her his hand. She took it and stood up, fingering the edge of the black hat, not meeting Eiri's eyes.
"But I do ask you though...did you love him?"
Eiri froze right in the middle of pulling out a cigarette. He was hoping that godforsaken question wouldn't arise again. He sighed.
"Mika...okay, fine, I did, but I was younger. He's the only one that would listen to me. If it weren't for him leading me to believe that male and male relationships weren't at all wrong, I probably wouldn't be with Shuichi."
Mika nodded.
"Okay. I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble, Eiri. I guess I'll never know the real reason why Tohma's gone..."
___________________
"Hiro...are you angry with me?" Shuichi asked in a low voice as he stood perfectly still in the same room together, only Hiro's back was turned to him. He still felt deeply hurt from their last encounter.
"I don't blame you if you are. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have reacted that way when you kissed me. I guess...I just took it the wrong way."
"Don't be sorry, I'm the one who should be."
Shuichi stepped forth, closer to Hiro.
"But that doesn't matter anymore. Hiro, this isn't the day to be fighting. Tohma's gone and Ryuichi's pinning the blame on himself. Tohma was his life. But either way you put it, it seems to end up being all my fault because I got with Yuki and got the shit beaten out of me once again."
Hiro felt a deep sudden urge to embrace his friend, but held back. So many things were happening at once that it confused him. Now that one of them was back to normal, they would have to suffer together the loss of their president and friend.
"Hiro..."
Shuichi embraced Hiro from behind, resting his head against his back.
"Oh Shuichi," Hiro whispered identically.
"I feel so bad for Sakuma-san. I've never seen him so hurt before. He told the reporters that it was his fault. He doesn't lie. He's scared and none of us know the real reason."
__________________
Six hours and much crying later, the reporters were finally gone after getting enough gossip to satisfy them and feeling as though they made quite a profit. Hiro and Shuichi sat on the velvet red couch in their studio room, Suguru sat on the opposite side of them and K stood behind him, resting his hand comfortingly on his shoulder. K was never good with being sympathetic, so he tried his best to act it.
Suguru's eyes would be seen constantly looking over at Tohma's desk as if he expected him to show up there and put on his heartwarming grin. No one knew though how much pain was behind that grin. It wasn't all Yuki Eiri behind his pain; there were other reasons for it. Some of which would probably never get answered.