Shuichi hasn't been back since. Two weeks had passed and Hiro met with his
'attorney' to get the alibi, although it was just a complete and total
waste of time. Hiro didn't care anymore what happened to him. Shuichi no
longer trusted him, and for all he knew, Suguru could have got wind of this
and started to believe him now too.
Hiro had been suffering mild insomnia and very bad colds that luckily hadn't lead to ammonia. The nights that he managed to fall asleep, he had done so from wearing himself out by crying. Never in his life did he dream that something like this would happen. Bad Luck was so close to their million and a half goal for their number of albums sold. Now for all he knew, there wasn't even Bad Luck or a Nittle Grasper to speak of anymore. If people had spoke about them, it wasn't anything good. He hadn't managed to take a peek at any magazines or newspapers in the past month, but he could only imagine it being flooded from top to bottom with various lies and people looking to make a buck with untrue knowledge. It hurt him to know that there was reporters out there like that, looking only for the lies in the situations.
By this time, he hadn't heard from anyone at all, even during the time allotted for visiting hours. Everyone gave up what little hope they had for him, and had a bad deep feeling that Suguru had stuck with Shuichi on this and was now lead to believe he was guilty.
His cheeks were tear stained and his body was clammy. The thin clothes that had been on his back now for over a month straight were starting to wear out and rip. What he wouldn't give be at home with what very little he called his own. At least he had a bed and hot water with some fresh clothes.
Hiro balled up into the corner, hugging himself to try and keep warm. It no longer bothered him to sit in the same spot, for he had gotten quite used to it. There, he would tune out the yelling between cells and think about Suguru. He had replayed their night together over and over in his head. Before he had fallen asleep that night, he watched him with his back faced towards him, hoping that he could get his feelings out somehow one of these days, without it being thrown back in his face. He still didn't know Suguru's feelings towards him. The same went for Suguru. The two were slowly drifting apart.
""""""""""""""""""""""""
Just as Hiro felt another cold and sore throat come his way again, he got a letter in a manila envelope, delivered by one of the guards. It was his trial papers and instructions. He breathed a sigh of relief, although he had no chance in hell getting past the evidence they found and the 'truthful' words of Tachi Aizawa, who also managed to scam his fingerprints.
The trial was the very next day, but the good news was he was being released on parole for the next couple nights to get cleaned up and to look his best for that day. He was able to go home, but the outside would be under strict watch to make sure he didn't do anything funny. The phones would be taken out as well and the apartment was fully searched and evaluated before he got a chance to step foot in there.
He got home just a half hour later, locking the door behind him and never more thankful to be home in his life. He had prayed that he would be staying there after this trial was over, but if not, he'd be right back where he was for the past month.
Hiro's main objective was the shower. Before doing anything else, he flew into the bathroom and shut the door, while undressing at the same time. He flicked the water faucets on hot and turned the shower on, never happier to feel hot, clean water. He stepped in, grunting with deep satisfaction as the hot water cascaded down his sore back and rear. His hands massaged anywhere they could go, especially his hair. Taking the shampoo bottle, he emptied half of it into his palm and worked it greedily into his hair, scrubbing so hard that his scalp burned and nearly bled. He repeated the process a half a dozen times until the shampoo bottle was empty. Even after that, he still didn't feel as if he cleaned it enough.
Next he went for the body wash. He lathered a puff and scrubbed his body until he nearly scraped off the first few layers of skin. Everything, even the events of the day after tomorrow escaped his mind as he cleaned himself.
When he was finally done, he exited the shower, thinking about his friends, or what used to be his friends. He had wondered if they even knew he was here. They weren't allowed to visit, but he kept an emergency cellular phone just in case. This was as good as any time to use it. He'd do anything to hear Suguru's voice again.
Towel drying his hair took a little longer than normal. He made sure to get every strand before flicking his head back and letting his now clean hair shine radiantly. Brushing it was now a snap. After wrapping a towel around his body, he ran a brush through his hair only once before setting out into his bedroom to collect clothes and suddenly feeling tired. There was not much else to do, seeing as though he couldn't have anyone visit him.
To his astonishment and utter shock, the second his bedroom door was opened, his eyes feel upon the tiny frame of Suguru Fujisaki, lying right in his own bed, sleeping peacefully. Frowning, he curiously wondered how he had gotten in here, but at the same time, cared less. No one was allowed in or out of this house, starting when he came home, so no one would even know they were together. The deep feelings for the young boy had Hiro's heart going crazy. He almost hated to wake him, but his feelings were kept a secret for too long. Suguru had to know.
He clad himself quietly, never happier to smell and feel fresh clothes on his back. He slowly crept into his bed beside Suguru so he wouldn't wake him. Suguru woke easily. He stirred in his sleep, moaning Hiro's name very lowly. Hiro's cheeks burned and a smile slowly eased its way onto his face.
He carefully placed a hand over Suguru's arm, lightly brushing it up and down his arm, until he saw the boy's eyes flutter and open half way tiredly.
"Hi," Hiro said simply, not taking his eyes off Suguru's.
Suguru's eyes sprang open the rest of the way and a startled gasp escaped his throat. He jolted to a sitting position, looking Hiro over with a dropped jaw.
"H-Hiro...no...it's a dream. I'm not falling for this again...but it seems so real this time."
"Because I am here. It's not a dream."
Without warning, Suguru thanked the heavens above and swung his arms around Hiro, nuzzling in his neck.
"Thank god. Lord only knows how much I prayed for you to come back to me. I knew you would!"
Hiro hugged back. He wanted to tell Suguru that it wasn't forever, but didn't want to ruin the boy's happy moment.
"You never believed Shuichi then, I take it."
Suguru shook his head, still buried deep into Hiro's neck. "Never. I could never. Hiro...I've done a lot of thinking, and before you leave me again, I have to tell you this."
He pulled back; meeting eye to eye with the person he loved most in the world. His heart fluttered at just the sight of him. Nothing could ruin this moment.
Suguru took a deep breath and tried to calm down the intense beating of his heart.
"I've waited for you this long, right here in your apartment. After the swarms of cops and investigators left, I moved in here to protect your belongings."
Hiro's smile widened further. "That's what you wanted to tell me?"
Suguru paused before taking a deep breath and shaking his head.
"What then?"
"HEY!! OPEN UP!!"
They were both interrupted by a knock at the door. Suguru lowered his head with what sounded like a sigh of relief coming from the part in between his lips. Hiro got up and went to his front door. He was glad to know it was just someone checking in on him and nothing more. Tonight would be the night he gave Suguru his entire love and devotion.
He had appeared to forget what Suguru was going to tell him and offered to cook him something instead. They ate, talking non-stop about everything. Suguru forgot to even tell him the second thing he was going to mention, for he was just too thrilled to have Hiro back. He knew he was innocent. The huge grin was plastered on his face the entire time to the point where his cheeks hurt like crazy being pinched the way they were.
Hiro had suddenly remembered that he wasn't going to be there the next day and possibly for the rest of his life. His smile instantly dissolved and all happiness drained from his face in a matter of a second. At that moment, Suguru's did as well. His eyes went wide the moment Hiro lowered his head.
"What's wrong?" he asked, alert. "Is the food bad? Are you going to be sick?"
Suguru stood immediately. Hiro shook his head, but couldn't bear to look at him in they eyes.
"I'm sorry Suguru, I should have told you."
Suguru frowned with confusion. Their eyes met.
"They let me out on parole until the day after tomorrow. I have to show up in court to know for sure if I'm guilty or not. If I am, then I come back home right afterwards. If I'm not, well, I'm back to the same place I was before." He lowered his head again. A single tear slid down his face. "I don't want to go back there! I was only there because no one believed me, only his word over mine! If Shuichi believed me, I would have at least one person on my side!"
He balled his fist and delivered it effortlessly to the tabletop, letting loose a shuddering sob.
"My entire future's gone!"
Suguru leaned over and wrapped his arms around the broken teen, feeling all happiness that accumulated through his body in the past half hour. Hiro hugged him back, burying his head into his stomach.
"I'm so scared, Suguru. No one believes me!"
"I do," Suguru assured, hugging his head and resting his cheek in his red flames. "I win over everyone. Tohma was my cousin. I was related to him. Only my word should count. I know him better than any Grasper fan or any cop in the whole system. And I know for a fact he held no grudges and hates looking down right now and seeing this happen to you. You're innocent and I'm able to feel my cousin's presence, telling me that. Please Hiro, don't think of that right now. Don't think of anything. I'll find you a way to escape and we can go together. You won't be alone."
Hiro's eyes went wide. He pulled back from Suguru, eyes full of questions.
"I had a feeling this was what might have happened. I knew they wouldn't let you go so easily. They won't either. Hiro, it's better if we leave now."
Hiro shook his head sadly. "They have the whole place under deep watch. It's impossible. No one gets in or out. I can't even look out the window, and you shouldn't either. I don't know how you got in here without them knowing, but don't do anything of the sort to expose yourself. It'll only get me in more trouble. They found weapons with my prints on them, "lying" all over my apartment. Surprised Tachi didn't try to turn me into some drug freak too."
Suguru shuddered at the venom in his voice, but let it pass him.
"I won't let you go, Hiro. I got you back here, now you're staying here. I know the truth."
Hiro chuckled helplessly. "Yeah, too bad you're not on the jury. You'd be the only one that's not against me."
Suguru placed his hand over Hiro's arm, heart sinking into the pit of his stomach. His breathing was minimal.
"We all believe you, Hiro," he whispered, trying to prevent tears from building up in his eyes. And to think just a few minutes ago, he could have never been happier. "Shuichi, K-san, Sakano-san, we all do."
"Then why didn't they talk when they had the chance?!" Hiro screamed suddenly, standing up so quickly that his chair was knocked into the wall beside him and Suguru stumbled backwards in shock. His face writhed in anger and sickness for his fellow "friends". "They don't give a shit what happens to me! As long as it's not them! Don't they get it that no one turns themselves in and blurts out that they have an accomplice! Goddamn it all!" he screamed, punching the wall behind him, shaking the apartment and killing his knuckles on contact. He pulled his hand back immediately, cussing. Tears now mixed with pain drained down his face. "Fuck it all! JUST KILL ME NOW AND GET IT OVER WITH!!" he screamed up at the ceiling. "What have I done to deserve this?!"
His outbursts brought Suguru to an even shakier state and more hot tears flung from his eyes.
"Hiro...please...don't do anything stupid," he whispered vulnerably, "please."
Hiro delivered a kick to the wall with his foot before leaping off into his room. "Who would care if I did?!"
The second he was out of sight, Suguru took in a shuddering gasp and threw his hands over his face. "What can I do? Oh Kami-sama, what can I do to show him how much I really care?"
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""
He found Hiro in his room, sitting Indian style on the bed and hunched over, sobbing in his hand. His heart immediately went out to him and nearly brought him back to tears himself.
"Hiro...are you okay?" he asked gently.
Hiro ripped his hands from his face and forced a penetrating glare over to Suguru. "No I'm not okay! Use your head! You're the smartest of the group, Suguru, must you even ask that question?!"
Suguru lowered his head. "You're right, I'm sorry, It was a stupid question, but I didn't know what else to say."
As much as Hiro was angered enough to put a hole in the world, he stopped to realize what he had before him and didn't want to lose that. He sighed and balled his fist tenderly. "Oh Suguru, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be like that. Not to you. It's even a miracle you're here now."
Suguru swallowed and sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from Hiro and looking down at his feet. A quick spread of new emotion flew over him. It was now or never that he'd let Hiro know how he felt. Hiro needed someone and it's been put on hold long enough. Even if the outcome wasn't what he expected, at least Hiro knew.
"What's wrong, Suguru?" Hiro asked.
Suguru brushed his feet against one another nervously, biting his lip. He had gone over this millions of times in his head, but he just still wasn't ready.
"You look lost."
Suguru slowly shrugged. "I guess you can say that."
"Is it what I said?"
Suguru shook his head rapidly. "Oh no, Hiro, it wasn't you. It's me. I'm just a little...well...nervous."
Hiro lowered his head again. "Me too. Me more than anyone. I guess all I can hope is to pull through."
Suguru wagged his head. "No, that's not it. That's not what I'm...nervous about. I mean, yeah, of course, I'm nervous about that, but it's not the only reason."
Hiro cocked his head to the side in question. "Then what is it? You can tell me. Is it about them finding you?"
"No. It's not about the case or me being here. It's more complicated."
Suguru felt as if his heart were going to spring right through his chest. He was almost certain that Hiro had heard it, but didn't say anything. He covered it, just to be safe. Hiro saw this and became more curious.
"What is it?"
Suguru swallowed loudly. "I like someone," he blurted out, before he changed his mind and didn't say anything at all. "I have for the longest time now. Even before unexpecting consequences arose and changed his life forever."
The heavy silence made him look up to Hiro. To his surprise, Hiro was completely still and his eyes were wide with shock. He couldn't tell if it was a good shock or a bad shock, so he immediately started apologizing for his actions as if he were groveling over something serious.
"That person you like...is me?" Hiro questioned rather dumbly and quietly.
Suguru covered his face with sheer embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that. I know you must be overly disgusted, but I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't like you as much as I do. I would have come to see you more, but I didn't want to leave here and have someone come and impound the place."
As Suguru continued to babble on to cover up his actions, the wider Hiro's grin grew. Nothing could have possibly ruined this moment. Suguru was talking so much to even notice Hiro crawling his way over to the back of him on his knees. Suguru was talking about something to do with the band when Hiro's mouth crept slowly to Suguru's ear and whispered his name, telling him to be quiet. Suguru stopped abruptly and left his eyes wide and his mouth dropped. Chills scattered throughout his entire body when he felt Hiro's closeness. He flinched gently when he felt Hiro's hands travel slowly down his arms from top to bottom, then locked hands and intertwined fingers with him.
"You have nothing to worry about," Hiro continued into his ear. "I've been thinking the same way."
Suguru moaned slightly and closed his hands tighter around Hiro's, while his neck was being beautifully brushed up against with wet lips. He set back comfortingly into Hiro's chest, never taking his hands back.
Hiro went to kissing him to just holding him close. Heat rose and scattered all throughout Suguru's body, starting from the arms and working its way down to his legs and feet. He was so deep into thought that he had no idea of his loud breathing pattern and stopped when he caught himself.
"Are you scared?" Hiro asked, resting his head over Suguru's and rocking the younger boy gently.
Suguru's heart fluttered at his lover's beautiful and soothed voice. At that exact moment, he knew Hiro would win the case and come home to him.
"No," he said simply in a breathed whisper. "I don't ever want to leave this moment. Please Hiro, don't leave."
He began to tear up again, but this time, for different reasons. His tears were of love. He loved Hiro this whole time, but never thought it could become an even larger love. He turned his head and heard Hiro's heartbeat, putting him at total ease. Every stress and stressor fled from his mind. Only the present events lingered.
"If I had a choice in the matter, I'd never leave you again, Suguru. But if something does happen to me, I want you to know that I love you and I always will."
Suguru's tears flowed more freely now. He tried to hold back the sobs, but they came free. Those words were so striking, especially if the other person felt the same way.
"I just didn't think you would want to hear this after what happened with Ryuichi. I thought just even the presence of any male sickened you."
Suguru shook his head against Hiro's face. "You could never sicken me. My feelings built up a little more and more every day, would leave when we had a fight, but came back in a plus the second afterwards, growing even stronger."
He turned his face to look into Hiro's eyes.
"What's wrong?" he questioned, as Suguru broke the grasp between them and turned around. Suguru was visibly breathing heavier with his lips parted slightly.
"What is it?"
Before anything else was exchanged, Suguru took a flying leap into Hiro, pushing him down into the bed, planting hot kisses all over his face. Hiro laughed as a new side of Suguru was brought to him. Suguru straddled his hips and leaned over, continuing to kiss him. Hiro had always figured Suguru was the shy type when it came to these sorts of things.
"Whoa, hold it!" Hiro said, grasping his upper arms and holding him back. A smile brushed across his face, so Suguru knew that he want angry.
"What?" he asked breathlessly.
Hiro's smile turned into a smirk. "I do believe that we're in the wrong positions."
Suguru quickly caught on and got off Hiro. He lay on his back, stiff as a board. They changed positions in a matter of seconds. Suguru couldn't calm his breathing. His eyes have never been wider.
"What happen to the Suguru a few seconds ago?" Hiro inquired with a love struck grin and stared into his lover's eyes. "You're changing right before my very eyes."
"I could say the same about you," Suguru countered.
Hiro narrowed his eyes as his smirk grew wider. "You probably could, couldn't you?"
Suguru let free a deep moan as Hiro sucked at his neck. He arched it involuntarily, lightly balling his fists.
"You're heart's beating so fast," Hiro respired, placing his hand over Suguru's chest and fingering the area lightly and lovingly.
"Every beat is for you. Let me kiss you, Hiro."
Hiro granted his wish and met their lips together for the first kiss ever experienced between them. Suguru was shy with going the whole way at first, but after he discovered how skilled Hiro was with his tongue, he reconsidered. Suguru prayed nothing could ruin this moment.
For what seemed like only seconds later, Hiro pulled his head slowly back and gazed back into Suguru's eyes. Their noses just barely touched.
"Make love to me, Hiro" Suguru whispered, but mainly came out mouthed.
The room fell silent. The only sounds that were exposed were the low panting sounds, fleeing from their parted lips. Hiro lightly brushed his fingers across Suguru's cheek, but shortly after that, shook his head.
Suguru's eyes instantly saddened.
"Not yet. I love you Suguru and that's why I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait until after the court session is over and they send me home innocent, then it will be special."
Suguru begged with his eyes. "Oh Hiro...no matter what, it will be special. As long as we're together," he said, combing his fingers through Hiro's hair slowly.
"I know, but I want to wait. Right now, my head's too cluttered to even enjoy anything. I'm weak and I'm tired. Please...just wait for me. Wait just a few more days. I know you had to wait this long, and I'm sorry." He held Suguru's hands. "We'll do the works. Silk sheets, candles, rose petals, champagne, Jacuzzi, everything."
Suguru chuckled, but it came out more of a sigh.
"Anything for you."
Hiro laughed. "Or we can do the whips and the handcuffs ordeal."
Suguru's eyes sprang open, extracting another chuckle from Hiro.
"Too much for you?"
Suguru nodded slightly. "A little. I like the first idea better. It's love I want you to make to me, not roughhouse sex. Not yet anyway. The idea just seems too...creepy for now."
Hiro smiled and planted a tender kiss fully on Suguru's soft petals, creating soft and gentle moans evading from the small and fragile boy.
"You don't have to worry, I won't do that to you." He smirked. "Unless I really want it hardcore."
Suguru laughed quietly. "Let's just get through the first stage before making any whips and tying to the bed types of tribulation here. Softcore for the time being."
Hiro couldn't keep himself away from Suguru for long periods of time. His lips met his again, but lingered there for a few seconds before sliding off of Suguru and allowing the boy to cuddle up into him.
"It won't hurt, it's merely to increase sexual appetite," he said, throwing the blankets over both of them, then snuggling up beside him, lightly brushing his hands through his hair. "Not that I speak from experience or anything like that. Ayaka-chan was a one-time thing and that was because we were both lonely. She just broke up with Eiri-san and I had a short time crush on Shuichi, which of course didn't work out because he loved Eiri- san. We were like two broken hearts trying to mend and become full again. But it didn't work out and she went back home. I didn't blame her, I didn't love her either."
"Why?" Suguru asked, lying against Hiro's chest and draping a single arm over his stomach, hugging him close.
"Well...one reason is because we were too far apart and she wouldn't move down here and leave her family. The second is because I still loved Shuichi. And the third, well, what really got my mind off her, was you. At first I was afraid of my bisexuality, but after awhile, I just didn't care. That's one of the main reasons my parents threw me out. Yuuji saw me kissing Shuichi and told my mom, who of course told my dad, and before I knew it, I was out of there with whatever I could carry in a single duffle bag."
Suguru looked up to Hiro with concern. "How come you never told me this before? Hiro, I had no idea! I would have let you stay at my place!"
Hiro chuckled. "It happened before I knew you. I moved in with Shuichi for a few days, but then got this place. I hate it. The walls are faded, the water sometimes isn't hot, the rooms constrict me, the electricity flickers in certain rooms, the toilet almost always overflows, but other than that, at least I'm away from my mom and dad."
Suguru wore a look of sorrow. "Hiro, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I never knew..."
Hiro draped his arm over his eyes and sighed. "It's okay. Back then, it didn't matter if you knew or not. I didn't like you at all then. You were bossy, demanding, rude, and stuck up, all because Tohma was the president and you wanted to prove yourself to him, but after a while, you started smiling and praising us. You brought strength and courage back into my life, something I never thought was possible. That's when I started developing mysterious feelings, but didn't go through with them, because I still loved Shuichi. I got to kiss him only that one time before he came back to me and told me it was a mistake. Of course, we still went on to be friends and colleagues. I crushed over Shuichi all the way up until he was released from the hospital a month ago from the rape. I tried to make him forget about Eiri-san and move on in life. I had no idea I kissed him until his eyes went round and he went ballistic on me."
Suguru clamped to him tighter. "I'm sorry Hiro. I know how much that must have hurt."
"Yeah. Then came Tohma's death, and the cause of me feeling more for you. Shuichi was now out of the picture, and it pained me to know that you were alone. I wanted to show you that you weren't, so I did everything I could to protect you and help you along the way. I almost killed Ryuichi when I heard about that rape," he growled clenching his fist at the thought. He still had his arm draped over his eyes, but felt a gentle touch on his fist and released the grip.
"Don't worry about that Hiro. It's over. This is my life now and I couldn't be happier. I started falling in love too around the same time you did. I never crushed over you, it just turned into love on the spot. You were the only one to truly be caring about my cousin...but then after I heard that recording...I was stunned."
Hiro took his arm away and looked to Suguru with wide eyes. Suguru was no longer holding him, but taking back his arms and looking away.
"I just don't believe that Aizawa-san would...admit it like that all in the open if there wasn't some truth behind it," he said in a dramatically low voice.
Hiro sat up, eyes wide. "You believe it?!" he asked, not in a yell, but more of a surprised and shocked whisper. "You believe an asshole like Tachi over someone who would give the world to you?!"
Hiro's eyes watered as his voice slightly broke.
Suguru wagged his head with closed eyes. "Please don't talk like that, Hiro. You know I love you. I'm just...confused, that's all. It's the murder of my cousin!"
Hiro leaped off the bed. Suguru's eyes followed him. "I don't give a goddamn if it was your spouse!" he hollered, creating a tiny intake of air from the boy. "You're just like all the others. You're just like Shuichi and K and Noriko, Mika, everyone! They wouldn't think twice about throwing me away and apparently I just found out that you won't either!"
Hiro's abrupt yelling about this fast acting subject made a small cry escape Suguru's lips and his hands cover around his ears.
"I never said I didn't!" Suguru cried. "I just said it's strange! I know Aizawa-san's a jerk, Tohma talked about him all the time! I know you did no wrong; I saw it in your eyes! They were innocent, that's why I'm preparing to fight with you until the end, Hiro!"
Something in Suguru's voice threw him off. He shook his head in complete disgust. To him, Suguru was just another being in his presence. All form of love and devotion, rose petals, candles, and silk sheets fled his mind in that very second. Suguru was just another barrier, stopping him from crossing the innocent line. He had no idea his feelings could be changed this fast so quickly.
"The whole time," Hiro whispered. "The whole damn time you were hiding under a façade to get the truth out of me. Who sent you, Shuichi? Ryuichi? Noriko?"
"No one sent me to do anything, Hiro!" Suguru cried, rising up to his knees on the bed. "I'm here of my own free will! Everything I've told you is the truth! I don't know what Shuichi's opinions are of you, but I know you're as innocent as they come! I'm sorry if I sounded possessive about the recording, but it's over and done and all this yelling and blaming won't bring my cousin back. Please...just come back into bed and continue being the only one I have left. Let me be by your side. Be by mine."
Suguru showed no hesitation in letting the tears slide down his face as he waited for Hiro to make the next move. The pause that occurred between them had hurt him. Just watching Hiro's body tremble and his lips quiver was enough to tell what his next actions were.
"You tricked me," he continued in the same hurt and shocked voice, only most of it was mouthed. "I loved you. I really felt love too. I had no idea you were eating out of someone's hand to choke the story out of me. Words cannot describe how hurt I am. You betrayed me."
Suguru punched the area beside him and threw the most intense and heated glare that the world has ever seen. "Goddamn it Nakano, I did NOT lie to you! I didn't betray you either! I love you! I fucking love you! You're the first person I've ever loved! I would not have told you to make love to me if I didn't truly care and believe you!"
Hiro's eyes quivered and more tears were released at a slow pace.
"I really do...love you," Suguru continued in a much softer tone. "You have no idea how much this frightens me to know I could lose you to them...to a lie."
Hiro's eyes fell to the wooden floor beneath him. "My best friend's betrayed me. The one person I expected to stand behind me the whole way. What makes me believe that you're telling the truth? How do I know that you're not one of them? I would have expected you to be the top of the hate list, because of Tohma being your cousin. I'm not about to believe, that with the amount of love you had for him, you would still stick with me over a voiced inquiry with Tachi, saying I was just as much at fault as he was in this."
"Because I know how you were with Tohma. You held no grudges, and I know for a fact that he's up there now, praying for you to come out of this innocent. He brought us together like this, here and now, for the sole purpose to fight this through together. I believe in fallacy like that. Please, you must believe me. Trust me, I wouldn't be here if I didn't know for a fact you were innocent. I'm a stubborn teen, I don't waste my time "eating out of someone's hand" or taking bribes from people. I'm not that sick. I love you Hiro, and if it still means as much as it did before, I still want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Another colossal pause occurred between them. Suguru could tell that Hiro was deeply thinking about it. He stood completely still now with his head lowered.
"I want to trust you so very much, but I've learned from Shuichi that that doesn't always come so easy. I rotted away for a month in a musty jail cell with nothing to lay on, hardly no food, and made me permanently damaged for the rest of my life, but I was lucky to have a best friend out there who believed my every word. He didn't. He still doesn't."
Hiro lowered his head and tried to hold back his emotions. Nothing in this world tore him up inside more than the betrayal and neglection. He had gotten too much of that when he was a child.
Suguru moved over carefully to Hiro's side of the bed, preparing to comfort him with everything he had.
"Did you know I came this close to killing myself after that, this close," he said, pinching his fingers together. "But you want to know what held me back?" He looked down to Suguru. "The fact that you never knew how I felt about you."
The back of his throat became dry and salty. Suguru embraced him before he broke down again for the millionth time that night. He was over relieved when Hiro responded back.
"You're not alone. I'm here. I will always be here. I love you. Never give up on me."
With a promise coming straight from Hiro's mouth, the two lay down and fell asleep together, just seconds later.
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A special thanks to everyone that's still reading this fic! I have up to CH26 done so far and I'm hoping to get more done and hoping to break the 200 review mark. Keep reviewing!!
Hiro had been suffering mild insomnia and very bad colds that luckily hadn't lead to ammonia. The nights that he managed to fall asleep, he had done so from wearing himself out by crying. Never in his life did he dream that something like this would happen. Bad Luck was so close to their million and a half goal for their number of albums sold. Now for all he knew, there wasn't even Bad Luck or a Nittle Grasper to speak of anymore. If people had spoke about them, it wasn't anything good. He hadn't managed to take a peek at any magazines or newspapers in the past month, but he could only imagine it being flooded from top to bottom with various lies and people looking to make a buck with untrue knowledge. It hurt him to know that there was reporters out there like that, looking only for the lies in the situations.
By this time, he hadn't heard from anyone at all, even during the time allotted for visiting hours. Everyone gave up what little hope they had for him, and had a bad deep feeling that Suguru had stuck with Shuichi on this and was now lead to believe he was guilty.
His cheeks were tear stained and his body was clammy. The thin clothes that had been on his back now for over a month straight were starting to wear out and rip. What he wouldn't give be at home with what very little he called his own. At least he had a bed and hot water with some fresh clothes.
Hiro balled up into the corner, hugging himself to try and keep warm. It no longer bothered him to sit in the same spot, for he had gotten quite used to it. There, he would tune out the yelling between cells and think about Suguru. He had replayed their night together over and over in his head. Before he had fallen asleep that night, he watched him with his back faced towards him, hoping that he could get his feelings out somehow one of these days, without it being thrown back in his face. He still didn't know Suguru's feelings towards him. The same went for Suguru. The two were slowly drifting apart.
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Just as Hiro felt another cold and sore throat come his way again, he got a letter in a manila envelope, delivered by one of the guards. It was his trial papers and instructions. He breathed a sigh of relief, although he had no chance in hell getting past the evidence they found and the 'truthful' words of Tachi Aizawa, who also managed to scam his fingerprints.
The trial was the very next day, but the good news was he was being released on parole for the next couple nights to get cleaned up and to look his best for that day. He was able to go home, but the outside would be under strict watch to make sure he didn't do anything funny. The phones would be taken out as well and the apartment was fully searched and evaluated before he got a chance to step foot in there.
He got home just a half hour later, locking the door behind him and never more thankful to be home in his life. He had prayed that he would be staying there after this trial was over, but if not, he'd be right back where he was for the past month.
Hiro's main objective was the shower. Before doing anything else, he flew into the bathroom and shut the door, while undressing at the same time. He flicked the water faucets on hot and turned the shower on, never happier to feel hot, clean water. He stepped in, grunting with deep satisfaction as the hot water cascaded down his sore back and rear. His hands massaged anywhere they could go, especially his hair. Taking the shampoo bottle, he emptied half of it into his palm and worked it greedily into his hair, scrubbing so hard that his scalp burned and nearly bled. He repeated the process a half a dozen times until the shampoo bottle was empty. Even after that, he still didn't feel as if he cleaned it enough.
Next he went for the body wash. He lathered a puff and scrubbed his body until he nearly scraped off the first few layers of skin. Everything, even the events of the day after tomorrow escaped his mind as he cleaned himself.
When he was finally done, he exited the shower, thinking about his friends, or what used to be his friends. He had wondered if they even knew he was here. They weren't allowed to visit, but he kept an emergency cellular phone just in case. This was as good as any time to use it. He'd do anything to hear Suguru's voice again.
Towel drying his hair took a little longer than normal. He made sure to get every strand before flicking his head back and letting his now clean hair shine radiantly. Brushing it was now a snap. After wrapping a towel around his body, he ran a brush through his hair only once before setting out into his bedroom to collect clothes and suddenly feeling tired. There was not much else to do, seeing as though he couldn't have anyone visit him.
To his astonishment and utter shock, the second his bedroom door was opened, his eyes feel upon the tiny frame of Suguru Fujisaki, lying right in his own bed, sleeping peacefully. Frowning, he curiously wondered how he had gotten in here, but at the same time, cared less. No one was allowed in or out of this house, starting when he came home, so no one would even know they were together. The deep feelings for the young boy had Hiro's heart going crazy. He almost hated to wake him, but his feelings were kept a secret for too long. Suguru had to know.
He clad himself quietly, never happier to smell and feel fresh clothes on his back. He slowly crept into his bed beside Suguru so he wouldn't wake him. Suguru woke easily. He stirred in his sleep, moaning Hiro's name very lowly. Hiro's cheeks burned and a smile slowly eased its way onto his face.
He carefully placed a hand over Suguru's arm, lightly brushing it up and down his arm, until he saw the boy's eyes flutter and open half way tiredly.
"Hi," Hiro said simply, not taking his eyes off Suguru's.
Suguru's eyes sprang open the rest of the way and a startled gasp escaped his throat. He jolted to a sitting position, looking Hiro over with a dropped jaw.
"H-Hiro...no...it's a dream. I'm not falling for this again...but it seems so real this time."
"Because I am here. It's not a dream."
Without warning, Suguru thanked the heavens above and swung his arms around Hiro, nuzzling in his neck.
"Thank god. Lord only knows how much I prayed for you to come back to me. I knew you would!"
Hiro hugged back. He wanted to tell Suguru that it wasn't forever, but didn't want to ruin the boy's happy moment.
"You never believed Shuichi then, I take it."
Suguru shook his head, still buried deep into Hiro's neck. "Never. I could never. Hiro...I've done a lot of thinking, and before you leave me again, I have to tell you this."
He pulled back; meeting eye to eye with the person he loved most in the world. His heart fluttered at just the sight of him. Nothing could ruin this moment.
Suguru took a deep breath and tried to calm down the intense beating of his heart.
"I've waited for you this long, right here in your apartment. After the swarms of cops and investigators left, I moved in here to protect your belongings."
Hiro's smile widened further. "That's what you wanted to tell me?"
Suguru paused before taking a deep breath and shaking his head.
"What then?"
"HEY!! OPEN UP!!"
They were both interrupted by a knock at the door. Suguru lowered his head with what sounded like a sigh of relief coming from the part in between his lips. Hiro got up and went to his front door. He was glad to know it was just someone checking in on him and nothing more. Tonight would be the night he gave Suguru his entire love and devotion.
He had appeared to forget what Suguru was going to tell him and offered to cook him something instead. They ate, talking non-stop about everything. Suguru forgot to even tell him the second thing he was going to mention, for he was just too thrilled to have Hiro back. He knew he was innocent. The huge grin was plastered on his face the entire time to the point where his cheeks hurt like crazy being pinched the way they were.
Hiro had suddenly remembered that he wasn't going to be there the next day and possibly for the rest of his life. His smile instantly dissolved and all happiness drained from his face in a matter of a second. At that moment, Suguru's did as well. His eyes went wide the moment Hiro lowered his head.
"What's wrong?" he asked, alert. "Is the food bad? Are you going to be sick?"
Suguru stood immediately. Hiro shook his head, but couldn't bear to look at him in they eyes.
"I'm sorry Suguru, I should have told you."
Suguru frowned with confusion. Their eyes met.
"They let me out on parole until the day after tomorrow. I have to show up in court to know for sure if I'm guilty or not. If I am, then I come back home right afterwards. If I'm not, well, I'm back to the same place I was before." He lowered his head again. A single tear slid down his face. "I don't want to go back there! I was only there because no one believed me, only his word over mine! If Shuichi believed me, I would have at least one person on my side!"
He balled his fist and delivered it effortlessly to the tabletop, letting loose a shuddering sob.
"My entire future's gone!"
Suguru leaned over and wrapped his arms around the broken teen, feeling all happiness that accumulated through his body in the past half hour. Hiro hugged him back, burying his head into his stomach.
"I'm so scared, Suguru. No one believes me!"
"I do," Suguru assured, hugging his head and resting his cheek in his red flames. "I win over everyone. Tohma was my cousin. I was related to him. Only my word should count. I know him better than any Grasper fan or any cop in the whole system. And I know for a fact he held no grudges and hates looking down right now and seeing this happen to you. You're innocent and I'm able to feel my cousin's presence, telling me that. Please Hiro, don't think of that right now. Don't think of anything. I'll find you a way to escape and we can go together. You won't be alone."
Hiro's eyes went wide. He pulled back from Suguru, eyes full of questions.
"I had a feeling this was what might have happened. I knew they wouldn't let you go so easily. They won't either. Hiro, it's better if we leave now."
Hiro shook his head sadly. "They have the whole place under deep watch. It's impossible. No one gets in or out. I can't even look out the window, and you shouldn't either. I don't know how you got in here without them knowing, but don't do anything of the sort to expose yourself. It'll only get me in more trouble. They found weapons with my prints on them, "lying" all over my apartment. Surprised Tachi didn't try to turn me into some drug freak too."
Suguru shuddered at the venom in his voice, but let it pass him.
"I won't let you go, Hiro. I got you back here, now you're staying here. I know the truth."
Hiro chuckled helplessly. "Yeah, too bad you're not on the jury. You'd be the only one that's not against me."
Suguru placed his hand over Hiro's arm, heart sinking into the pit of his stomach. His breathing was minimal.
"We all believe you, Hiro," he whispered, trying to prevent tears from building up in his eyes. And to think just a few minutes ago, he could have never been happier. "Shuichi, K-san, Sakano-san, we all do."
"Then why didn't they talk when they had the chance?!" Hiro screamed suddenly, standing up so quickly that his chair was knocked into the wall beside him and Suguru stumbled backwards in shock. His face writhed in anger and sickness for his fellow "friends". "They don't give a shit what happens to me! As long as it's not them! Don't they get it that no one turns themselves in and blurts out that they have an accomplice! Goddamn it all!" he screamed, punching the wall behind him, shaking the apartment and killing his knuckles on contact. He pulled his hand back immediately, cussing. Tears now mixed with pain drained down his face. "Fuck it all! JUST KILL ME NOW AND GET IT OVER WITH!!" he screamed up at the ceiling. "What have I done to deserve this?!"
His outbursts brought Suguru to an even shakier state and more hot tears flung from his eyes.
"Hiro...please...don't do anything stupid," he whispered vulnerably, "please."
Hiro delivered a kick to the wall with his foot before leaping off into his room. "Who would care if I did?!"
The second he was out of sight, Suguru took in a shuddering gasp and threw his hands over his face. "What can I do? Oh Kami-sama, what can I do to show him how much I really care?"
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He found Hiro in his room, sitting Indian style on the bed and hunched over, sobbing in his hand. His heart immediately went out to him and nearly brought him back to tears himself.
"Hiro...are you okay?" he asked gently.
Hiro ripped his hands from his face and forced a penetrating glare over to Suguru. "No I'm not okay! Use your head! You're the smartest of the group, Suguru, must you even ask that question?!"
Suguru lowered his head. "You're right, I'm sorry, It was a stupid question, but I didn't know what else to say."
As much as Hiro was angered enough to put a hole in the world, he stopped to realize what he had before him and didn't want to lose that. He sighed and balled his fist tenderly. "Oh Suguru, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be like that. Not to you. It's even a miracle you're here now."
Suguru swallowed and sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from Hiro and looking down at his feet. A quick spread of new emotion flew over him. It was now or never that he'd let Hiro know how he felt. Hiro needed someone and it's been put on hold long enough. Even if the outcome wasn't what he expected, at least Hiro knew.
"What's wrong, Suguru?" Hiro asked.
Suguru brushed his feet against one another nervously, biting his lip. He had gone over this millions of times in his head, but he just still wasn't ready.
"You look lost."
Suguru slowly shrugged. "I guess you can say that."
"Is it what I said?"
Suguru shook his head rapidly. "Oh no, Hiro, it wasn't you. It's me. I'm just a little...well...nervous."
Hiro lowered his head again. "Me too. Me more than anyone. I guess all I can hope is to pull through."
Suguru wagged his head. "No, that's not it. That's not what I'm...nervous about. I mean, yeah, of course, I'm nervous about that, but it's not the only reason."
Hiro cocked his head to the side in question. "Then what is it? You can tell me. Is it about them finding you?"
"No. It's not about the case or me being here. It's more complicated."
Suguru felt as if his heart were going to spring right through his chest. He was almost certain that Hiro had heard it, but didn't say anything. He covered it, just to be safe. Hiro saw this and became more curious.
"What is it?"
Suguru swallowed loudly. "I like someone," he blurted out, before he changed his mind and didn't say anything at all. "I have for the longest time now. Even before unexpecting consequences arose and changed his life forever."
The heavy silence made him look up to Hiro. To his surprise, Hiro was completely still and his eyes were wide with shock. He couldn't tell if it was a good shock or a bad shock, so he immediately started apologizing for his actions as if he were groveling over something serious.
"That person you like...is me?" Hiro questioned rather dumbly and quietly.
Suguru covered his face with sheer embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that. I know you must be overly disgusted, but I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't like you as much as I do. I would have come to see you more, but I didn't want to leave here and have someone come and impound the place."
As Suguru continued to babble on to cover up his actions, the wider Hiro's grin grew. Nothing could have possibly ruined this moment. Suguru was talking so much to even notice Hiro crawling his way over to the back of him on his knees. Suguru was talking about something to do with the band when Hiro's mouth crept slowly to Suguru's ear and whispered his name, telling him to be quiet. Suguru stopped abruptly and left his eyes wide and his mouth dropped. Chills scattered throughout his entire body when he felt Hiro's closeness. He flinched gently when he felt Hiro's hands travel slowly down his arms from top to bottom, then locked hands and intertwined fingers with him.
"You have nothing to worry about," Hiro continued into his ear. "I've been thinking the same way."
Suguru moaned slightly and closed his hands tighter around Hiro's, while his neck was being beautifully brushed up against with wet lips. He set back comfortingly into Hiro's chest, never taking his hands back.
Hiro went to kissing him to just holding him close. Heat rose and scattered all throughout Suguru's body, starting from the arms and working its way down to his legs and feet. He was so deep into thought that he had no idea of his loud breathing pattern and stopped when he caught himself.
"Are you scared?" Hiro asked, resting his head over Suguru's and rocking the younger boy gently.
Suguru's heart fluttered at his lover's beautiful and soothed voice. At that exact moment, he knew Hiro would win the case and come home to him.
"No," he said simply in a breathed whisper. "I don't ever want to leave this moment. Please Hiro, don't leave."
He began to tear up again, but this time, for different reasons. His tears were of love. He loved Hiro this whole time, but never thought it could become an even larger love. He turned his head and heard Hiro's heartbeat, putting him at total ease. Every stress and stressor fled from his mind. Only the present events lingered.
"If I had a choice in the matter, I'd never leave you again, Suguru. But if something does happen to me, I want you to know that I love you and I always will."
Suguru's tears flowed more freely now. He tried to hold back the sobs, but they came free. Those words were so striking, especially if the other person felt the same way.
"I just didn't think you would want to hear this after what happened with Ryuichi. I thought just even the presence of any male sickened you."
Suguru shook his head against Hiro's face. "You could never sicken me. My feelings built up a little more and more every day, would leave when we had a fight, but came back in a plus the second afterwards, growing even stronger."
He turned his face to look into Hiro's eyes.
"What's wrong?" he questioned, as Suguru broke the grasp between them and turned around. Suguru was visibly breathing heavier with his lips parted slightly.
"What is it?"
Before anything else was exchanged, Suguru took a flying leap into Hiro, pushing him down into the bed, planting hot kisses all over his face. Hiro laughed as a new side of Suguru was brought to him. Suguru straddled his hips and leaned over, continuing to kiss him. Hiro had always figured Suguru was the shy type when it came to these sorts of things.
"Whoa, hold it!" Hiro said, grasping his upper arms and holding him back. A smile brushed across his face, so Suguru knew that he want angry.
"What?" he asked breathlessly.
Hiro's smile turned into a smirk. "I do believe that we're in the wrong positions."
Suguru quickly caught on and got off Hiro. He lay on his back, stiff as a board. They changed positions in a matter of seconds. Suguru couldn't calm his breathing. His eyes have never been wider.
"What happen to the Suguru a few seconds ago?" Hiro inquired with a love struck grin and stared into his lover's eyes. "You're changing right before my very eyes."
"I could say the same about you," Suguru countered.
Hiro narrowed his eyes as his smirk grew wider. "You probably could, couldn't you?"
Suguru let free a deep moan as Hiro sucked at his neck. He arched it involuntarily, lightly balling his fists.
"You're heart's beating so fast," Hiro respired, placing his hand over Suguru's chest and fingering the area lightly and lovingly.
"Every beat is for you. Let me kiss you, Hiro."
Hiro granted his wish and met their lips together for the first kiss ever experienced between them. Suguru was shy with going the whole way at first, but after he discovered how skilled Hiro was with his tongue, he reconsidered. Suguru prayed nothing could ruin this moment.
For what seemed like only seconds later, Hiro pulled his head slowly back and gazed back into Suguru's eyes. Their noses just barely touched.
"Make love to me, Hiro" Suguru whispered, but mainly came out mouthed.
The room fell silent. The only sounds that were exposed were the low panting sounds, fleeing from their parted lips. Hiro lightly brushed his fingers across Suguru's cheek, but shortly after that, shook his head.
Suguru's eyes instantly saddened.
"Not yet. I love you Suguru and that's why I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait until after the court session is over and they send me home innocent, then it will be special."
Suguru begged with his eyes. "Oh Hiro...no matter what, it will be special. As long as we're together," he said, combing his fingers through Hiro's hair slowly.
"I know, but I want to wait. Right now, my head's too cluttered to even enjoy anything. I'm weak and I'm tired. Please...just wait for me. Wait just a few more days. I know you had to wait this long, and I'm sorry." He held Suguru's hands. "We'll do the works. Silk sheets, candles, rose petals, champagne, Jacuzzi, everything."
Suguru chuckled, but it came out more of a sigh.
"Anything for you."
Hiro laughed. "Or we can do the whips and the handcuffs ordeal."
Suguru's eyes sprang open, extracting another chuckle from Hiro.
"Too much for you?"
Suguru nodded slightly. "A little. I like the first idea better. It's love I want you to make to me, not roughhouse sex. Not yet anyway. The idea just seems too...creepy for now."
Hiro smiled and planted a tender kiss fully on Suguru's soft petals, creating soft and gentle moans evading from the small and fragile boy.
"You don't have to worry, I won't do that to you." He smirked. "Unless I really want it hardcore."
Suguru laughed quietly. "Let's just get through the first stage before making any whips and tying to the bed types of tribulation here. Softcore for the time being."
Hiro couldn't keep himself away from Suguru for long periods of time. His lips met his again, but lingered there for a few seconds before sliding off of Suguru and allowing the boy to cuddle up into him.
"It won't hurt, it's merely to increase sexual appetite," he said, throwing the blankets over both of them, then snuggling up beside him, lightly brushing his hands through his hair. "Not that I speak from experience or anything like that. Ayaka-chan was a one-time thing and that was because we were both lonely. She just broke up with Eiri-san and I had a short time crush on Shuichi, which of course didn't work out because he loved Eiri- san. We were like two broken hearts trying to mend and become full again. But it didn't work out and she went back home. I didn't blame her, I didn't love her either."
"Why?" Suguru asked, lying against Hiro's chest and draping a single arm over his stomach, hugging him close.
"Well...one reason is because we were too far apart and she wouldn't move down here and leave her family. The second is because I still loved Shuichi. And the third, well, what really got my mind off her, was you. At first I was afraid of my bisexuality, but after awhile, I just didn't care. That's one of the main reasons my parents threw me out. Yuuji saw me kissing Shuichi and told my mom, who of course told my dad, and before I knew it, I was out of there with whatever I could carry in a single duffle bag."
Suguru looked up to Hiro with concern. "How come you never told me this before? Hiro, I had no idea! I would have let you stay at my place!"
Hiro chuckled. "It happened before I knew you. I moved in with Shuichi for a few days, but then got this place. I hate it. The walls are faded, the water sometimes isn't hot, the rooms constrict me, the electricity flickers in certain rooms, the toilet almost always overflows, but other than that, at least I'm away from my mom and dad."
Suguru wore a look of sorrow. "Hiro, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I never knew..."
Hiro draped his arm over his eyes and sighed. "It's okay. Back then, it didn't matter if you knew or not. I didn't like you at all then. You were bossy, demanding, rude, and stuck up, all because Tohma was the president and you wanted to prove yourself to him, but after a while, you started smiling and praising us. You brought strength and courage back into my life, something I never thought was possible. That's when I started developing mysterious feelings, but didn't go through with them, because I still loved Shuichi. I got to kiss him only that one time before he came back to me and told me it was a mistake. Of course, we still went on to be friends and colleagues. I crushed over Shuichi all the way up until he was released from the hospital a month ago from the rape. I tried to make him forget about Eiri-san and move on in life. I had no idea I kissed him until his eyes went round and he went ballistic on me."
Suguru clamped to him tighter. "I'm sorry Hiro. I know how much that must have hurt."
"Yeah. Then came Tohma's death, and the cause of me feeling more for you. Shuichi was now out of the picture, and it pained me to know that you were alone. I wanted to show you that you weren't, so I did everything I could to protect you and help you along the way. I almost killed Ryuichi when I heard about that rape," he growled clenching his fist at the thought. He still had his arm draped over his eyes, but felt a gentle touch on his fist and released the grip.
"Don't worry about that Hiro. It's over. This is my life now and I couldn't be happier. I started falling in love too around the same time you did. I never crushed over you, it just turned into love on the spot. You were the only one to truly be caring about my cousin...but then after I heard that recording...I was stunned."
Hiro took his arm away and looked to Suguru with wide eyes. Suguru was no longer holding him, but taking back his arms and looking away.
"I just don't believe that Aizawa-san would...admit it like that all in the open if there wasn't some truth behind it," he said in a dramatically low voice.
Hiro sat up, eyes wide. "You believe it?!" he asked, not in a yell, but more of a surprised and shocked whisper. "You believe an asshole like Tachi over someone who would give the world to you?!"
Hiro's eyes watered as his voice slightly broke.
Suguru wagged his head with closed eyes. "Please don't talk like that, Hiro. You know I love you. I'm just...confused, that's all. It's the murder of my cousin!"
Hiro leaped off the bed. Suguru's eyes followed him. "I don't give a goddamn if it was your spouse!" he hollered, creating a tiny intake of air from the boy. "You're just like all the others. You're just like Shuichi and K and Noriko, Mika, everyone! They wouldn't think twice about throwing me away and apparently I just found out that you won't either!"
Hiro's abrupt yelling about this fast acting subject made a small cry escape Suguru's lips and his hands cover around his ears.
"I never said I didn't!" Suguru cried. "I just said it's strange! I know Aizawa-san's a jerk, Tohma talked about him all the time! I know you did no wrong; I saw it in your eyes! They were innocent, that's why I'm preparing to fight with you until the end, Hiro!"
Something in Suguru's voice threw him off. He shook his head in complete disgust. To him, Suguru was just another being in his presence. All form of love and devotion, rose petals, candles, and silk sheets fled his mind in that very second. Suguru was just another barrier, stopping him from crossing the innocent line. He had no idea his feelings could be changed this fast so quickly.
"The whole time," Hiro whispered. "The whole damn time you were hiding under a façade to get the truth out of me. Who sent you, Shuichi? Ryuichi? Noriko?"
"No one sent me to do anything, Hiro!" Suguru cried, rising up to his knees on the bed. "I'm here of my own free will! Everything I've told you is the truth! I don't know what Shuichi's opinions are of you, but I know you're as innocent as they come! I'm sorry if I sounded possessive about the recording, but it's over and done and all this yelling and blaming won't bring my cousin back. Please...just come back into bed and continue being the only one I have left. Let me be by your side. Be by mine."
Suguru showed no hesitation in letting the tears slide down his face as he waited for Hiro to make the next move. The pause that occurred between them had hurt him. Just watching Hiro's body tremble and his lips quiver was enough to tell what his next actions were.
"You tricked me," he continued in the same hurt and shocked voice, only most of it was mouthed. "I loved you. I really felt love too. I had no idea you were eating out of someone's hand to choke the story out of me. Words cannot describe how hurt I am. You betrayed me."
Suguru punched the area beside him and threw the most intense and heated glare that the world has ever seen. "Goddamn it Nakano, I did NOT lie to you! I didn't betray you either! I love you! I fucking love you! You're the first person I've ever loved! I would not have told you to make love to me if I didn't truly care and believe you!"
Hiro's eyes quivered and more tears were released at a slow pace.
"I really do...love you," Suguru continued in a much softer tone. "You have no idea how much this frightens me to know I could lose you to them...to a lie."
Hiro's eyes fell to the wooden floor beneath him. "My best friend's betrayed me. The one person I expected to stand behind me the whole way. What makes me believe that you're telling the truth? How do I know that you're not one of them? I would have expected you to be the top of the hate list, because of Tohma being your cousin. I'm not about to believe, that with the amount of love you had for him, you would still stick with me over a voiced inquiry with Tachi, saying I was just as much at fault as he was in this."
"Because I know how you were with Tohma. You held no grudges, and I know for a fact that he's up there now, praying for you to come out of this innocent. He brought us together like this, here and now, for the sole purpose to fight this through together. I believe in fallacy like that. Please, you must believe me. Trust me, I wouldn't be here if I didn't know for a fact you were innocent. I'm a stubborn teen, I don't waste my time "eating out of someone's hand" or taking bribes from people. I'm not that sick. I love you Hiro, and if it still means as much as it did before, I still want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Another colossal pause occurred between them. Suguru could tell that Hiro was deeply thinking about it. He stood completely still now with his head lowered.
"I want to trust you so very much, but I've learned from Shuichi that that doesn't always come so easy. I rotted away for a month in a musty jail cell with nothing to lay on, hardly no food, and made me permanently damaged for the rest of my life, but I was lucky to have a best friend out there who believed my every word. He didn't. He still doesn't."
Hiro lowered his head and tried to hold back his emotions. Nothing in this world tore him up inside more than the betrayal and neglection. He had gotten too much of that when he was a child.
Suguru moved over carefully to Hiro's side of the bed, preparing to comfort him with everything he had.
"Did you know I came this close to killing myself after that, this close," he said, pinching his fingers together. "But you want to know what held me back?" He looked down to Suguru. "The fact that you never knew how I felt about you."
The back of his throat became dry and salty. Suguru embraced him before he broke down again for the millionth time that night. He was over relieved when Hiro responded back.
"You're not alone. I'm here. I will always be here. I love you. Never give up on me."
With a promise coming straight from Hiro's mouth, the two lay down and fell asleep together, just seconds later.
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A special thanks to everyone that's still reading this fic! I have up to CH26 done so far and I'm hoping to get more done and hoping to break the 200 review mark. Keep reviewing!!