Rimmer wakes up in the medical quarters. He is lying on the observation table. Ace is leaning against a bench, with one leg hoisted up onto it, putting a splint on it. He has a wad of bandages in his mouth and his shoulder has also been heavily wrapped. He has a large cut over one eye.
ACE: Welcome back, sleeping beauty.
Rimmer winces and remembers what happened. He sits up.
RIMMER: Tell me it didn't happen.
ACE: Fraid it did, Arn.
RIMMER: No, it can't... can't be.
ACE: Sorry.
RIMMER: No!
ACE: Yep. You and I are the only ones who made it. Cat, Kryters and Dave are all out of commission. Permanently. Even Holly's gone. The central computer was damaged beyond repair.
RIMMER: This can't be happening!
ACE: (finished splinting his leg, he lowers it with a slight wince.) Can't really believe it myself. It was a lucky thing I was down in the docking bay when it happened. I managed to scrape out of it alive, avoiding the worst of the blast. Wish I could say the same for Skipper and the others... (he trails off, looking sad) What about you, Arn? You're looking a mite unsteady on your feet there.
RIMMER: I think my light bee was damaged. I don't know how long I've got left.
There is a long pause.
ACE: Well. We seem to be lost in hopeless city without a street directory.
RIMMER: Wait a minute! We have a time-drive on board Red Dwarf. We can use that.
ACE: Time-drive? Where'd you come across that?
RIMMER: We looted it from an old derelict ship.
ACE: Well Arn old boy, I think you might just have something there. This Bug's not going anywhere anymore, but I could probably zip over to Red Dwarf in Wildfire and grab that baby, bring it back here and Bob's your uncle.
RIMMER: So it would work then? We could go back and save them?
ACE: Well it's a long-shot Arn, I'll give you that. It'll be mighty tricky. But we might just have a crack. And we don't have much to lose here, eh?
RIMMER: (looking ruefully at Ace) Only our sanity.
Later, Ace and Rimmer are standing in the smoking ruins of Starbug's mid-section, surrounded by the bodies of their dead crewmates. Ace is holding the remote-control for the time device. It looks a little like three hairdryers glued together and painted black.
ACE: So I just punch in the keys here?
RIMMER: Yes. (his image becomes unstable again) Hurry, I don't know how much time I have!
ACE: Alright Arnie, keep your braces on. Turn yourself off and I'll hold onto you.
Rimmer looks mildly dismayed by this prospect, but he reaches inside his flickering image and grabs his light bee. Instantly his image vanishes and a small metal object drops out of the air where he had been. Ace deftly catches it, juggles it into his other hand for good measure, and slips it into a pocket in his flight jacket.
ACE: Alright bucko. (he glances quickly at his watch.) Let's get this show on the road.
He punches a few keys on the device. There is a blinding flash of brilliant red light.
It is the interior of Starbug, mid-section again, only now it is restored to its former state. The ship is undamaged and everything seems normal. Ace stands alone in the middle of the room. There are voices from the cockpit. Without wasting time, Ace runs up the stairs and bursts into the cockpit.
Lister, Cat, Rimmer and Kryten seem to be arguing about an approaching ship. When Ace enters, they all spin around. Lister looks relieved.
ACE: What's happening, fellers?
LISTER: There's this ship approaching and we can't make contact.
ACE: Permit me to do something completely barking mad, Davey old boy.
LISTER: (surprised) Sure... go for it.
Ace strides past Rimmer, who looks confused. Ace leans over and takes the controls from Cat.
ACE: May I?
CAT: Be my guest!
Ace is still pressing buttons when a simulant's face winks into life on the monitor overhead. Ace punches a few last buttons, and a missile blasts from Starbug's torpedo tube and hurtles towards the huge grey ship.
Ace stands back and smiles at the simulant, who is nervously glancing at his control panel.
ACE: Sorry, not today my psychotic friend. You've sung your last soprano.
They manage to catch a last glimpse of the simulant's stunned face before the ship explodes in a huge ball of orange flame. A semi-trailer sized piece of it sails past Starbug's window.
LISTER: (shocked) That was a...
ACE: A simulant.
CAT: You killed it!
ACE: Yep.
RIMMER: How did you know?
Ace steps back and takes something out of his pocket. Rimmer's eyes widen in shock.
RIMMER: Is that my light bee?
ACE: In a manner of speaking, yeah.
At that moment a second Ace steps into the cockpit, looking breathless.
ACE #2: What's all the hullabaloo, lads?
He sees himself and stops short. He puts a hand on the door frame to steady himself.
ACE #2: My god. Am I standing in front of a full length mirror or is there another me in this room?
Lister, Kryten, Rimmer and Cat are now in complete befuddlement. They glance from one Ace to the other, as if watching a really exciting tennis match.
RIMMER: That's not all. There's another me, as well.
CAT: Four Rimmers?! Someone tell me this is a really bad nightmare!
ACE: Look, I'll explain it all later lads. Right now there's a feller here in bad need of some re-wiring. Think you could take a look at him, Kryters?
KRYTEN: Uh... of course Mr Ace sir! (stands up)
ACE: You boys better come along while we fix up Arnie. I'll explain everything.
CAT: Hey! Why can't there ever be two of me?
Observation room in Starbug. Kryten is fiddling with Rimmer's light bee. Cat, Rimmer #2, Ace and Ace #2, and Lister are standing around looking confused. Cat looks more confused than anyone.
CAT: So what you're saying is, you and Goalpost Head came back in time to this point to save us from being blasted to smithereens?
ACE: Spot on. You catch on quick, old sport.
RIMMER: Yeah. He's about as quick as a packet of two-minute noodles.
KRYTEN: If I may interject, sirs, there seems to be a fatal flaw in your reasoning.
ACE #2: Do elaborate, Kryters.
KRYTEN: Well, you see there is a theory that travelling back in time and altering your own past creates a new 'reality', a new 'path' if you like, in which the events you remember are changed, and a new reality is born where the path diverges from the old one. It is my belief that in jumping back to this time to save the crew, you did in fact create a new reality.
LISTER: So what's your point man?
KRYTEN: Worry mode. Well sirs, if this reasoning is correct it would mean that we have a very big problem. You see, Mr Ace and Mr Rimmer left their own 'reality', the one in which Starbug was destroyed, and are now here with us, in this 'new' reality, on this Starbug, the one that didn't crash. (he pauses.)
Mr Ace sir. Do you remember exactly what time you left your Starbug and jumped into ours?
ACE: It was 11:45 PM, Kryters.
KRYTEN: Ah. You time-jumped at exactly 11:45PM. It is now... (he glances at his wrist- he has a digital readout there.) 11:26PM. The problem is this: If you left Starbug at 11:45PM and are now here on board our ship, in our reality, there will be no-one on board your ship, in your previous reality, to use the time drive and go back in time to this reality, thereby saving the crew of this Starbug before the simulant attacks. (he goes into 'smug mode'.)
CAT: I just have one question.
RIMMER: What's that?
CAT: What the hell are you talking about mechano head?
LISTER: Hang on! He's right. If you're here with us, you won't be in your time, you won't be able to go back and save us, and we'll all be...
RIMMER: (sadly) Wiped out. Erased. Gone forever.
LISTER: You won't be. You'll be fine!
RIMMER: Fine? You call being stuck alone in deep space with Ace for all eternity 'fine'?
ACE: Well it wouldn't exactly be a walk in the park for me either, old chum.
LISTER: Well... so what's to stop Ace and Rimmer using the time drive and heading back into the future where they came from?
KRYTEN: Sir, they could, but it would be pointless. They would merely end up in the future of this Starbug, a Starbug that hasn't been attacked, and probably find us all sitting around eating our evening meal.
ACE: If I understand you, Kryters -We need a device that can let us jump into the future and into an alternate reality at the same time.
KRYTEN: (fidgeting nervously) Yes sir. It's impossible!
ACE #2: Not necessarily old chum, I happen to have a ship called Wildfire One that's capable of trans-dimensional travel. There might be a way of hooking up this time drive gadget with the ships controls so that Arn and Ace can fly back home to their own Starbug, in the reality where their ship was attacked.
KRYTEN: An excellent plan, sir.
Kryten finishes fiddling with Rimmer's light bee and he hands it back to Ace.
ACE: I guess I can turn him back on now.
LISTER: Er... there's no rush, man. Maybe you should wait till you get back on your ship, you know.
CAT: Yeah. Besides, he might come in useful if you run out of miniature golf balls!
RIMMER: Excuse me, that's ME you're talking about. You could at least wait until I've left the room.
ACE: Don't sweat it Arn, I'll turn you back on as soon as we're home.
RIMMER: That is if your brilliant plan works.
LISTER: We better hope it does.
Starbug docking bay. Ace is standing by the newly altered Wildfire One with Rimmer's light bee in one hand and his flight helmet in the other. The other Ace stands with Kryten, Rimmer, Lister and Cat.
LISTER: So Kryten, what will happen to this Ace and Rimmer once they get back to their ship?
KRYTEN: Well, my understanding is that they will create an endless time loop- a cycle whereby going back to their ship and using the time drive will result in ourselves being saved in their reality- and thus in ours.
ACE: Well I guess this is... au revoir!
LISTER: Thanks for saving us, Ace.
ACE: It was Arnie's idea. Thank him.
KRYTEN: (sniffling) Well... so long, Mr Ace sir.
ACE: No need for tears, Kryters. You've still got one of me.
RIMMER: Yes, unfortunately.
LISTER: Well, see ya later Ace.
CAT: So long, buddy!
ACE: Smoke me a...
RIMMER: DON'T say it.
ACE: Well, you know. See ya later alligators!
Ace steps up into the tiny cockpit of his ship and lowers the retractable glass roof. He makes some adjustments to his instruments and then puts his helmet on. The ship fires up. The docking bay doors open and Ace's ship zooms out through them. As it reaches open space there is a blinding white flash, the ship zooms up to super speed, and then is gone.
Back in the docking bay, Kryten, Cat and Lister look relieved.
LISTER: He made it. What's the time?
RIMMER: It's 11:44 PM.
LISTER: (nervous) So there's nothing we can do but wait.
They stand around looking nervous for a while. A close up of Kryten's wrist watch shows the seconds ticking down to 11:45PM. It arrives... and nothing happens. Lister pats himself up and down.
LISTER: Still here!
CAT: We haven't disappeared!
LISTER: YEEES! They've done it!
RIMMER: We did it!
ACE: Well, happy endings all round. And now that my ship's gone, the good news is I'll be sticking around with you boys for a bit longer.
RIMMER: (face falling) What?
ACE: Well I can't get back to my own dimension without Wildfire, Arn old chap.
RIMMER: So... you're saying... we're stuck with you?
KRYTEN: Oh, that's marvellous news sir.
LISTER: He's staying!
CAT: Alright! Welcome aboard, bud!
RIMMER: Oh my god.
LISTER: Kryten, break out the urine re-cyc. Let's CELEBRATE!
Rimmer faints.
THE END