Chapter 6
Monica was standing on a balcony of the hospital and never noticed a tall handsome man that startled her by placing his strong hands over her shoulders. "What a nice surprise to find a beautiful angel here!" he said as a way of greeting.
"Adam!" she tried to sound as cheerful as she could though she had to wipe her tears away before turning to face him. "What are you doing here?"
"I'd say that the Father sent me here and now I guess I know why." The little angel looked away and Adam tilted her face carefully. "What's wrong Monica?"
A new wave of sobs hit her and the angel of death hugged her. "It's Andrew?"
She nodded and cried for a little while before she could whisper. "It's his assignment. She has a crush on him and I'm afraid..."
Adam chuckled before answering. "Come on, Monica, you know that it happens sometimes with assignments. Even you have had some experiences like that!"
"But I've never kissed them, and today I saw Andrew kissing his assignment."
"Monica, there must be a mistake," the older angel told her but made a mental note about looking for his partner and ask for an explanation. "Honey, he loves you. He's in love with you like a fool!"
"He betrayed me, Adam," she murmured, her face still buried in his chest. "I never thought he could've done something like this. I'm even thinking that the Father doesn't want us together anymore."
"People you love can hurt you sometimes, you know that. I promise I'll talk to him, sweetie but please don't cry." He remained there, hugging her until she calmed down.
Neither Adam nor Monica saw Mary Ann that had found them in her way to the cafeteria. She saw the two angels talking calmly and when she saw them hugging, she left them feeling she was interrupting something else...
Next day in the afternoon, Andrew walked down the corridor towards Natalia's room, a feeling of unease very present in his heart. He hadn't found Monica during the last night and he had had to go to the academy to give his class even if his original assignment was not there. The blond angel was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't see Adam until they met at Natalia's door.
"About time, angel boy," the older angel said to his partner. "I was wondering if you were coming at all."
"Hey, Adam! What are you doing here?"
"No reason to lie: I was looking for you."
Andrew knew easily what his friend was saying. "You've seen Monica..." the green eyed angel said as an statement, not as a question.
"And I want to hear your version of the facts, pal."
"Not here." Andrew and Adam walked to a near waiting room that they found empty. "You know I never meant to hurt her. I love her, how could I ever want to make her suffer? This is a mistake that I don't know how to mend!"
"She said she saw you kissing your assignment. Is she wrong?"
"No." Andrew buried his hands in his pants pockets and shrugged his shoulders. "I never thought Natalia had a crush on me."
"But you came back today," the older angel pointed.
"I have no choice! This is my job!"
"You're a very lucky angel for having her, Andrew, but right now, I wouldn't like to be on your shoes."
"I feel I'm lost. I would give my assignment up gladly to have her back, but I know there's no way I could do it! What can I do?"
The older angel felt compassion for his friend's pleading eyes and sighed heavily shaking his head. "You have a job to do even if you don't like it."
"But I can't lose her, Adam. I wouldn't bear. I love her, she's everything to me!"
"And you won't lose her. I'll talk to her again, and you should do that too... Tonight, a lonely table in a nice place, candles, music..."
Andrew chuckled slightly even if his eyes still reflected worry. Yes, that was a great idea... "Thanks, I'll follow your advice."
"Any time. Now go." Adam looked at his pocket watch before leaving. "I have someone in about five minutes. See you later."
A soft knock at her door woke Natalia up. "Come in," she said in a very low voice.
"Hi, how are you feeling?" Andrew walked into the room with a vase with a single sunflower. "I thought you may like it."
"It's beautiful, thank you."
"Your classmates send their greetings. Mike said he would come later." He took a seat near her bed.
"I- I don't want to see anyone." Some tears started to prick her eyes and the angel felt somehow guilty, though he knew she shouldn't isolate herself.
"They like you, Natalia. They are worried about you."
"I don't want to see them. The only thing I'll get from them is pity and I don't want it."
"They are your friends..."
"I don't have any friends! I don't deserve to have friends!"
"What are you saying, girl? Of course you deserve to have friends." Andrew was trying to be as tender as he always was and wiped her tears away while he continued to speak in a very soothing way. "Why do you think so?"
"Because I'm being punished. I've done everything wrong and God is punishing me. I should've never become involved with William! I deserve what's happening to me!"
"No, Natalia. This is not a punishment" he took a seat on the bed and hugged her.
"Then what is it? Tell me, Andrew. I've always spoiled things," she murmured through her sobs.
"You can get over leukemia," he continued stroking her hair. "It's not a punishment, it's just and illness not death itself."
"But I want to die!" The ballerina's words made him shudder. "I don't want to keep on living, I just want to stop suffering, I want to die!"
"Nonsense! Please, calm down. This can't be good for you!" Feeling her relax, he helped her to lay down again. "Try to sleep and let the medicine to do its job. You'll see in a few days you'll feel better."
He stayed with her for a while until she was sound asleep, an unpleasant feeling of remorse growing up deep inside of him. His assignment had told him she considered her illness as a punishment from God and he had been unable to make her see the truth. He knew he had had a perfect chance to speak the Father's truth to her and he had let it pass. He closed his eyes for some seconds and wished Monica had been there. She would've known what to say, he needed her more than any time before but he had hurt her and now needed to find the way to get her forgiveness. When he was sure Natalia wouldn't wake up, Andrew left the room just to find Mary Ann outside.
"Is she asleep?" she asked walking towards the angel.
"Yeah."
"Andrew, can I talk to you in my office for a minute, please?"
Once they were there, Mary Ann invited him to take a seat and started to talk. "How did you see her?"
Andrew sighed heavily before answering. "I don't know what to say. She's really sad, depressed... she doesn't want to see her classmates..."
"She's isolating herself and that's not good." Mary Ann met his green eyes and seeing him nod, she continued. "I need to ask you a favor."
"Sure."
"She really likes you, Andrew. I need you to keep on visiting her."
"Well... yes," he said shrugging his shoulders. "I had thought I would keep on coming."
"You don't understand me. She likes you. You're the only one she wants to see, you're the only one she's expecting to see!"
"Doctor, I..." the blond angel had a sudden feeling of fear: he could say where she was going.
"I want you to keep on visiting her! I want you to make your visits an illusion for my daughter!" the woman had stood up and was pacing all along her office.
"That's not a good idea. She's expecting something else from me that I can't give her..."
"I know!" she was almost shouting.
"I can't correspond her the way she wants me to!"
"I know, I know, I supposed so, and I wouldn't be asking you this if I were not so desperate!"
"You're asking me to lie at her!"
"I'm asking you to give her a reason to live! Please, Andrew!"
The sound of the door opening interrupted them and Mary Ann blinked to fight back her tears when she saw her assistant coming into the office, while Andrew felt his heart jumping at her sight.
"I'm sorry..." she excused herself. "I didn't mean to interrupt you." She went to her desk barely looking at the blond angel and took her bag. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mary Ann."
Andrew saw her leaving and he had to force himself to stay there and not running to reach her. "Mary Ann," he said as soon as the door was closed again, "my heart belongs to someone else."
"I'm not asking you to marry her!" the psychologist said with a trembling voice. "Just, please, keep on visiting her, making her feel she matters to someone else other than her father or me!"
He met her teary gaze and felt he was between the devil and the deep blue sea. After a minute of silence, he accepted. "Ok, but I will not promise her anything."
"Thank you!" she said taking his hand in hers. "Thank you."
The blond angel nodded and walked out of the office. As soon as he reached the main corridor, he ran towards the little angel he still could see at the end. "Monica!" he said grabbing her arm and feeling her shudder at his touch. "Monica, please, we need to talk!"
She had stopped walking and had closed her eyes when she felt him. "Andrew..."
He gently guided her to turn and face him, his green eyes bright with love and expectation. She opened her eyes and met his, and felt all the force of his love going directly to her heart. He cupped her face tenderly, as if he were touching a delicate piece of silk, and let his right hand brush her cheek. "I know what you saw yesterday, Monica, but please, you have to believe me. I didn't kiss her, I have never kissed someone other than you, I wouldn't simply be able to." A lonely tear escaped the corner of her eye and he swept it away. "I love you, angel, in a way I could never love anyone else."
"I know..." she murmured placing her hands over his and concentrating in his warmth over her skin. "I believe you, Andrew, I want to believe you." Her eyes were closed again and he wanted her to open them so he could see her words reflected there.
"Baby, you don't know how relieved I feel," he said touching her forehead with his and then kissing it.
She wrapped her arms around his waist sighing when she felt his body pressed against hers. She rested her head over his chest and added softly: "I want to believe you, but I'm still hurting so much... I close my eyes and I see you and her."
He held her closer feeling terribly defeated at knowing he had no way to erase that image from her mind. "I wish I could make you forget it, Monica," he whispered. "I'd give anything for it, but I can't, baby. I'm sorry." He kept on holding her for a little more. It had been just a few hours but he had missed her in his arms as much as he had missed kissing her, so he carefully pulled apart enough to cup her face again and sought out her lips. She didn't resist at the beginning, missing the feeling of his mouth just as much as him. She felt his tongue flicking slightly over her lips and opened her mouth timidly, but a second later her eyes sprang open and she pulled away freeing herself from his embrace.
"Baby?" Andrew's eyes were now full of apprehension.
"I'm sorry," she said starting to cry. "I can't do it, Andrew, I can't!" and before he could stop her, she ran away and disappeared on the long corridor.
Monica was standing on a balcony of the hospital and never noticed a tall handsome man that startled her by placing his strong hands over her shoulders. "What a nice surprise to find a beautiful angel here!" he said as a way of greeting.
"Adam!" she tried to sound as cheerful as she could though she had to wipe her tears away before turning to face him. "What are you doing here?"
"I'd say that the Father sent me here and now I guess I know why." The little angel looked away and Adam tilted her face carefully. "What's wrong Monica?"
A new wave of sobs hit her and the angel of death hugged her. "It's Andrew?"
She nodded and cried for a little while before she could whisper. "It's his assignment. She has a crush on him and I'm afraid..."
Adam chuckled before answering. "Come on, Monica, you know that it happens sometimes with assignments. Even you have had some experiences like that!"
"But I've never kissed them, and today I saw Andrew kissing his assignment."
"Monica, there must be a mistake," the older angel told her but made a mental note about looking for his partner and ask for an explanation. "Honey, he loves you. He's in love with you like a fool!"
"He betrayed me, Adam," she murmured, her face still buried in his chest. "I never thought he could've done something like this. I'm even thinking that the Father doesn't want us together anymore."
"People you love can hurt you sometimes, you know that. I promise I'll talk to him, sweetie but please don't cry." He remained there, hugging her until she calmed down.
Neither Adam nor Monica saw Mary Ann that had found them in her way to the cafeteria. She saw the two angels talking calmly and when she saw them hugging, she left them feeling she was interrupting something else...
Next day in the afternoon, Andrew walked down the corridor towards Natalia's room, a feeling of unease very present in his heart. He hadn't found Monica during the last night and he had had to go to the academy to give his class even if his original assignment was not there. The blond angel was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't see Adam until they met at Natalia's door.
"About time, angel boy," the older angel said to his partner. "I was wondering if you were coming at all."
"Hey, Adam! What are you doing here?"
"No reason to lie: I was looking for you."
Andrew knew easily what his friend was saying. "You've seen Monica..." the green eyed angel said as an statement, not as a question.
"And I want to hear your version of the facts, pal."
"Not here." Andrew and Adam walked to a near waiting room that they found empty. "You know I never meant to hurt her. I love her, how could I ever want to make her suffer? This is a mistake that I don't know how to mend!"
"She said she saw you kissing your assignment. Is she wrong?"
"No." Andrew buried his hands in his pants pockets and shrugged his shoulders. "I never thought Natalia had a crush on me."
"But you came back today," the older angel pointed.
"I have no choice! This is my job!"
"You're a very lucky angel for having her, Andrew, but right now, I wouldn't like to be on your shoes."
"I feel I'm lost. I would give my assignment up gladly to have her back, but I know there's no way I could do it! What can I do?"
The older angel felt compassion for his friend's pleading eyes and sighed heavily shaking his head. "You have a job to do even if you don't like it."
"But I can't lose her, Adam. I wouldn't bear. I love her, she's everything to me!"
"And you won't lose her. I'll talk to her again, and you should do that too... Tonight, a lonely table in a nice place, candles, music..."
Andrew chuckled slightly even if his eyes still reflected worry. Yes, that was a great idea... "Thanks, I'll follow your advice."
"Any time. Now go." Adam looked at his pocket watch before leaving. "I have someone in about five minutes. See you later."
A soft knock at her door woke Natalia up. "Come in," she said in a very low voice.
"Hi, how are you feeling?" Andrew walked into the room with a vase with a single sunflower. "I thought you may like it."
"It's beautiful, thank you."
"Your classmates send their greetings. Mike said he would come later." He took a seat near her bed.
"I- I don't want to see anyone." Some tears started to prick her eyes and the angel felt somehow guilty, though he knew she shouldn't isolate herself.
"They like you, Natalia. They are worried about you."
"I don't want to see them. The only thing I'll get from them is pity and I don't want it."
"They are your friends..."
"I don't have any friends! I don't deserve to have friends!"
"What are you saying, girl? Of course you deserve to have friends." Andrew was trying to be as tender as he always was and wiped her tears away while he continued to speak in a very soothing way. "Why do you think so?"
"Because I'm being punished. I've done everything wrong and God is punishing me. I should've never become involved with William! I deserve what's happening to me!"
"No, Natalia. This is not a punishment" he took a seat on the bed and hugged her.
"Then what is it? Tell me, Andrew. I've always spoiled things," she murmured through her sobs.
"You can get over leukemia," he continued stroking her hair. "It's not a punishment, it's just and illness not death itself."
"But I want to die!" The ballerina's words made him shudder. "I don't want to keep on living, I just want to stop suffering, I want to die!"
"Nonsense! Please, calm down. This can't be good for you!" Feeling her relax, he helped her to lay down again. "Try to sleep and let the medicine to do its job. You'll see in a few days you'll feel better."
He stayed with her for a while until she was sound asleep, an unpleasant feeling of remorse growing up deep inside of him. His assignment had told him she considered her illness as a punishment from God and he had been unable to make her see the truth. He knew he had had a perfect chance to speak the Father's truth to her and he had let it pass. He closed his eyes for some seconds and wished Monica had been there. She would've known what to say, he needed her more than any time before but he had hurt her and now needed to find the way to get her forgiveness. When he was sure Natalia wouldn't wake up, Andrew left the room just to find Mary Ann outside.
"Is she asleep?" she asked walking towards the angel.
"Yeah."
"Andrew, can I talk to you in my office for a minute, please?"
Once they were there, Mary Ann invited him to take a seat and started to talk. "How did you see her?"
Andrew sighed heavily before answering. "I don't know what to say. She's really sad, depressed... she doesn't want to see her classmates..."
"She's isolating herself and that's not good." Mary Ann met his green eyes and seeing him nod, she continued. "I need to ask you a favor."
"Sure."
"She really likes you, Andrew. I need you to keep on visiting her."
"Well... yes," he said shrugging his shoulders. "I had thought I would keep on coming."
"You don't understand me. She likes you. You're the only one she wants to see, you're the only one she's expecting to see!"
"Doctor, I..." the blond angel had a sudden feeling of fear: he could say where she was going.
"I want you to keep on visiting her! I want you to make your visits an illusion for my daughter!" the woman had stood up and was pacing all along her office.
"That's not a good idea. She's expecting something else from me that I can't give her..."
"I know!" she was almost shouting.
"I can't correspond her the way she wants me to!"
"I know, I know, I supposed so, and I wouldn't be asking you this if I were not so desperate!"
"You're asking me to lie at her!"
"I'm asking you to give her a reason to live! Please, Andrew!"
The sound of the door opening interrupted them and Mary Ann blinked to fight back her tears when she saw her assistant coming into the office, while Andrew felt his heart jumping at her sight.
"I'm sorry..." she excused herself. "I didn't mean to interrupt you." She went to her desk barely looking at the blond angel and took her bag. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mary Ann."
Andrew saw her leaving and he had to force himself to stay there and not running to reach her. "Mary Ann," he said as soon as the door was closed again, "my heart belongs to someone else."
"I'm not asking you to marry her!" the psychologist said with a trembling voice. "Just, please, keep on visiting her, making her feel she matters to someone else other than her father or me!"
He met her teary gaze and felt he was between the devil and the deep blue sea. After a minute of silence, he accepted. "Ok, but I will not promise her anything."
"Thank you!" she said taking his hand in hers. "Thank you."
The blond angel nodded and walked out of the office. As soon as he reached the main corridor, he ran towards the little angel he still could see at the end. "Monica!" he said grabbing her arm and feeling her shudder at his touch. "Monica, please, we need to talk!"
She had stopped walking and had closed her eyes when she felt him. "Andrew..."
He gently guided her to turn and face him, his green eyes bright with love and expectation. She opened her eyes and met his, and felt all the force of his love going directly to her heart. He cupped her face tenderly, as if he were touching a delicate piece of silk, and let his right hand brush her cheek. "I know what you saw yesterday, Monica, but please, you have to believe me. I didn't kiss her, I have never kissed someone other than you, I wouldn't simply be able to." A lonely tear escaped the corner of her eye and he swept it away. "I love you, angel, in a way I could never love anyone else."
"I know..." she murmured placing her hands over his and concentrating in his warmth over her skin. "I believe you, Andrew, I want to believe you." Her eyes were closed again and he wanted her to open them so he could see her words reflected there.
"Baby, you don't know how relieved I feel," he said touching her forehead with his and then kissing it.
She wrapped her arms around his waist sighing when she felt his body pressed against hers. She rested her head over his chest and added softly: "I want to believe you, but I'm still hurting so much... I close my eyes and I see you and her."
He held her closer feeling terribly defeated at knowing he had no way to erase that image from her mind. "I wish I could make you forget it, Monica," he whispered. "I'd give anything for it, but I can't, baby. I'm sorry." He kept on holding her for a little more. It had been just a few hours but he had missed her in his arms as much as he had missed kissing her, so he carefully pulled apart enough to cup her face again and sought out her lips. She didn't resist at the beginning, missing the feeling of his mouth just as much as him. She felt his tongue flicking slightly over her lips and opened her mouth timidly, but a second later her eyes sprang open and she pulled away freeing herself from his embrace.
"Baby?" Andrew's eyes were now full of apprehension.
"I'm sorry," she said starting to cry. "I can't do it, Andrew, I can't!" and before he could stop her, she ran away and disappeared on the long corridor.