Chapter 10

Lying alone with nothing but a paper gown and a blanket covering her, for the first time Monica asked mentally why it has to be her the donor for Natalia. The little angel closed her eyes while she waited for the nurses and the doctor that will run some tests on her. After Richard had said she was a perfect match, she had felt the eyes of the four fixed on her. She had wanted to say no, that one thing was to give a sample of blood and another completely different to have her blood filtered during five days and to be under anesthesia and have her hips punctured to collect two quarts of blood and marrow bone! But she had looked at Tess and her supervisor's eyes had told her all she needed: she being the donor was part of God's plan, no doubts.

A couple of minutes later, Tess and Andrew got in the exam room. The blond angel quickly took a seat beside her and she sit up to hold him. "I'm scared" she murmured looking at her supervisor with the sight of a lost puppy. Andrew tightened his hold and ran a hand over her hair.

"I know, baby," Tess said, "but everything will be alright. You know the Father wouldn't have done something like this if He didn't have a perfect plan behind."

"I keep telling myself that, Tess," she said, her brown eyes full of tears. "But I don't like what's lying ahead for the next days."

"We will be with you all the time, angel girl," the old supervisor told her patting her hand lovingly.

"And all the time means all the time," Andrew added kissing her forehead tenderly. "Even during the marrow harvest... I think this time is well allowed to take advantage of being an angel." He smiled in relief when he saw a tiny sparkle of hope in her eyes.

A knock in the door interrupted them and Richard an another nurse got in. "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting Monica but we are ready now. It's just some more tests, and if everything is alright, we can start with the dialysis tomorrow morning."

"Ok," she managed to whisper.

"I'll be back when you're done, ok?" Andrew said kissing her temple again and then leaving the room.

Mary Ann sighed heavily before opening the door of her daughter's room.

"I thought I had told you to leave me alone," the girl said coldly when she saw her mother getting in.

"I'm not here to fight, ok? I'm here to give you wonderful news."

"What?"

"We've found a donor, honey! You'll get the transplant!"

Her mother's enthusiasm was reflected in her eyes for some seconds. "Really?"

"Yes, baby, yes," Mary Ann went to hold her daughter as if she was again her little baby. "Thanks God we found her."

"Who is it?"

"You won't believe this. It's Monica!"

"What?!"

The sudden change in her daughter's voice surprised the psychologist. "What's wrong?"

"You mean Monica, your assistant?" the ballerina said freeing herself from her mother's hug.

"Yes... Imagine that!"

"I don't want anything that may come form her!!!"

"Honey, what are you saying? This may be your only chance..."

"Then I rather prefer to die!!"

"Natalia..."

"Don't you get it? She's the only reason for me being here! If Andrew wasn't in love with her, he would love me!"

"Honey, that's not true...!"

"It is for me!" she yelled. "I won't get the transplant if she's the donor!"

"You are getting that transplant either you want it or not!" Mary Ann shouted back. "Take it willingly or I'll sign a paper saying you have mental problems and you can't decide by yourself!"

"You wouldn't! You could loose your license!"

"I don't care as long as I don't loose my daughter! End of the discussion!" Mary Ann said and left the room. When she was at the corridor, she leaned over the wall and covered her face with her hands to muffle her crying.

"Are you ok, Mary Ann?" Andrew asked coming closer to her. "I saw you..."

"No, I'm not ok!" she said and held Andrew, clutching his shirt desperately. "I don't know what to do with my daughter! She doesn't want the transplant if Monica is the donor!"

The angel of death rubbed her back soothingly and let her cry for a minute before he suggested, "Why don't you let me talk to her? I'll try to make her see."

"Please, Andrew, help me. You heard Richard. If she doesn't get it, she may die!"

"I'll go, Mary Ann, calm down." She nodded silently and saw him getting into the room. Weakly she walked towards the waiting room and took a seat on a couch, her head buried in her hands, praying for him to find the words to convince her daughter.

When Andrew got into the room, the first thing he noticed was that Natalia was crying. He walked silently to her bed and took a seat there, trying to force her to look at him. "You should be happy, not crying," he offered.

"Had she not been here, would you have fallen in love with me, Andrew?" she asked through her tears, her brown eyes with a pleading expression that made him stutter.

"I thought this was already clear," the angel said not without a note of discomfort. "I told you I couldn't correspond you that way, Natalia."

"What does she have that I don't have?"

"It's nothing like that..."

"Please, tell me!" she said flinging to his arms and wrapping her hands around his neck without paying attention to the IV and the blood bag attached to her arm. "What do I have to do...?" She tried to kiss him but he pulled away.

"Natalia, don't you see it?" Andrew took her arms away from his neck and pushed her to her pillow again. "I can't love you that way!"

"Because of Monica" she stated bitterly.

"Because of me!" He had stood up and decided distance was safer for him. "I thought you had understood when I took you to see what was happening in the OR when you first arrived here yesterday night."

"How do you know...?" she asked in surprise.

"I just know," he said. "Don't you get it? You've got a second chance to live! You've got a perfect donor, something many people never get!"

"But I don't have you! You'll keep on loving her, you will love her more for her heroic action! I don't want your pity nor see you admire her more! I don't care how you knew about my dream! I don't want you here if you love her so much! Go to her, go tell her she doesn't have to play the heroine to have you drooling for her!" She was yelling and Andrew knew she wouldn't hear anything he could say, much on the contrary, he would finish loosing his temper as he was already dreading.

He sighed heavily and turned to leave the room. "You're right, Natalia," he said angrily. "I love her and she doesn't have to play the heroine."

Andrew walked to the waiting room with a clear expression of defeat on his face. He found Mary Ann there with Mike, who had come to visit his fellow mate. "Hi, Mike," the blond angel said.

"What happened?" the woman asked anxiously. She saw the angel shaking his head and taking a seat in front of them.

"I'm sorry," he said joining his hands in front of his face. "I think this was a bad idea."

"She blames Monica for what she has lost, she won't accept her as her donor."

"Who's Monica?" Mike asked.

"Andrew's girlfriend," Mary Ann explained. "Natalia didn't know about her and ironically she's the perfect match for the transplant."

"I feel responsible for this," the angel confessed. "I keep on asking myself what I could have done different and I think about a million things and about nothing at the same time."

"No, Andrew, it's not your fault. I insist it would be mine, but I never knew about Natalia's relationship with William."

"Do you think I could visit her?" Mike asked somehow timidly.

"I can't promise she'll be happy to see you..." Mary Ann warned him.

"Don't worry," the boy said taking her hand and squeezing it. "I want to try."

Mary Ann and Andrew saw him walking away. "I will go have a walk," the angel said when they were alone. "I need to think, I guess. Could you please tell Monica if she comes?"

"Sure, Andrew. I think I need to make up my mind too."

Mike knocked at the door and waited to get an answer. Nothing. He tried again and something inside told him to open the door. He would never forget what he saw: Natalia was lying on the floor, unconscious, in the middle of a puddle of blood and serum. He ran to her and tried to wake her up. He searched her wrists and saw her bandages were in place; the blood was coming from the bag she had detached from her arm. Then he saw something not too far that gave him all the answers: a little bottle with only two pills left. He had seen those before, almost in every bag of his female classmates at the ABA. Amphetamines. Used by the ballerinas to suppress their hunger and have more energy. He stood up, ran to the door and shouted for help...

Tess had stayed with Monica during the tests that had included an electrocardiogram and an ultrasound of her kidneys and her liver. The Irish angel felt like a lab rat as she already knew that if God had made her the perfect match, all these tests weren't necessary. Yet she had let them smear her stomach with the cold gel to get some blurry white and gray images that Richard had interpreted as good news. When they finally ended with all that, she only wanted to get dressed and get out of the hospital for at least that night. Tess had helped her get cleaned and dressed when Richard and the other nurse had been gone, and now the two angels were walking together towards the Oncology ward to find Andrew and Mary Ann.

But they weren't expecting what they saw... They had almost been run over by a nurse taking a trolley full of packages and medical supplies to Natalia's room. The door was open and they got closer. A heart monitor showed irregular lines up and down, one doctor was inserting a tube in the girl's throat while a nurse got ready a mix of black active charcoal. Another nurse had taken some blood samples and then ran out of the room. They could only understand half of the yelling, medical orders shouted from a doctor to a nurse and vice versa...

In a corner they saw a crying Mary Ann held by a rather pale Mike. Monica was about to go near them when a hand on her shoulder stopped her. Standing at her side, in an impeccable white suit was Andrew. It was obvious for her that this was a much harder assignment than many others she had been with him. His sad green eyes spoke volumes to her about how troubled his heart was. She turned to see Tess and her expression confirmed what she wanted to be an illusion: none but they could see him, he was there ready to do his job and if it was the case, this would not be a happy journey. The little angel took his hand and locked her gaze with his, her gesture trying to tell him what she couldn't put in words. Still, she felt her heart beating frantically when he squeezed her hand and then let it go, and she saw him reaching for Natalia's hand just in the moment when her heart monitor showed a flat line.