Not Myself
By Princess Alexandria
Princess_alex24@hotmail.com


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Christy prepared for the 15th weekly household meeting.  She had started those in November shortly after Jon moved in to make sure the kids knew that they were a part of a household and needed to act like it.  She didn't want childish behavior and irresponsibility to make living here hell, and they needed to work together to survive.  She wasn't a millionaire like Emma Frost or Charles Xavier, and she needed her students to contribute in many ways or they'd all sink.  She'd made that clear to each one of them in that first meeting.

The shelf that used to contain nothing but computer related books now had a shelf of labeled binders.  One for the articles and information they'd found on the F.O.H, that Jessica was in charge of keeping up to date.  Christy had never been one to pay attention to the news or what was going on in the world before, but then the world wasn't such a personal threat to her and those she cared about before and she was going to error on the side of paranoia now.  That binder had a list of articles on various things the hate group had done in the area, listing for their meetings, and notes that Jessica added because of things her father may have let slip when she visited him. 

Another of the large binders had information on mutations.  It had articles on the science of mutations as well as articles on different types of mutations.  Annie was in charge of that one.  It gave them somewhere to start in training and in trying to figure out what Annie's mutation really was.  Christy had each of the students practicing using their powers, and they understood that they might need to rely on them for survival at some point.  Christy felt bad whenever they talked about the practice during the meetings because she could tell that Annie hated not knowing her own powers and felt like she'd be dead weight if they ever got into a fight.

Jon's binder was current events that had to do with mutants.  He kept up to date on things that various mutant groups like the X-men did as well as any articles that mentioned other mutant related news that wasn't science related like Annie's binder or F.O.H. related like Jessica's binder.

Other binders were the one that Christy made on History before Annie even really moved in.  One binder was on technology, like the image inducers.  It also contained some information about mutant detecting devices, but they didn't have any more than just what those were and where they were often installed, like at the casinos in Las Vegas.

Christy made a small pile of the binders she'd need for the meeting: the training schedule and planning binder, the summary binder, and the budget binder.  The training schedule was something they had to iron out each week because Jessica's job at the video store had variable hours, unlike everyone else in the house that worked days. 

Each of the students were responsible for teaching something one night a week.  It could be a skill they already had or they could have to research something to teach.  It was something of a compromise to cover some skills that would be important to survival, and Christy was basing her ideas on the way things ran at Professor Xavier's school a little, or at least how she got the impression they ran there.  Not everything they learned was fighting or violence related, but Christy had explained that these skills should be valuable in some way. 

Jessica's skill in firearms, learned from living with a man that liked to hunt was something that was taught.  They spent money to go to the local shooting range with the two guns that Christy had purchased for this and they all learned about gun safety and the use of one.  Christy already knew a little, but she'd learned from doing and Jessica's classes were helpful.  Not to mention her aim was improving. 

Jon took them to his father's shop and taught them about building things from furniture for their rooms to walls.  His father was a contractor and built things for a living.  Jon worked for him part time while going to school.  It was in that class with Jon that he and Christy made the new computer desks.  The computer room had two computers in it right now and they had a supply cabinet for supplies for their office. 

Annie's lessons tended to vary since she researched things or arranged for them to go to classes, like the one for CPR they'd done just a few weeks ago.  With Jon paying rent and the others contributions they had developed a training fund and voted on what that could be used for.  It was what bought the guns, wood, and various other things that they needed for these classes. 

Christy wasn't an expert on what she taught, but it had to be done.  For the other night she took them out to a wooded place to practice their powers in different ways.  Since she had no powers to speak of and Annie didn't know what her powers were they just got a really good workout, but Jon used his agility to leap through the trees and Jessica practiced using her small clear balls of energy to deflect things or to move them around to do other things.  Christy had touched them a few times and they were the size of a quarter and seemed to hum with energy and warmth.

The kids had thought it was strange to have these lessons, but Christy had used some of their fascination with the X-Men to her advantage.  She did that once in a while, giving them a comment or two about how the mutant team trained or did things, and her students usually warmed up to whatever she was trying to sell them on quickly.  That had lead to an awkward situation of the teens asking if Christy actually knew them.  She didn't really know them, and that was what she'd told her students.  The full truth was far too unbelievable and she'd never tell them that.  Christy didn't know the X-men but she did know of them.

Once she got upstairs with the binders Annie was sitting at the dining room table and Jon sounded like he was still listening to music in his room.  Christy set the binders down and moved into the kitchen for something to drink.  "Jessi got off work at eight."  Annie spoke while pulling a binder over to look at.  "She'll be here soon."

"Oh yeah."  Christy wasn't in a rush.  It was meeting night and that was all that was on her agenda.  She poured her Gatorade and went to sit down in her chair at the table.  Since they had a few minutes Christy decided to bring something up.  She'd stumbled across a phone number in her own research this week.  "Annie, we aren't getting anywhere with figuring out what your powers are."  She spoke softly about this sore topic.  "I'm not really an expert on powers."  Christy nibbled on her lower lip.  Annie was like her second in charge here, taking care of things before Christy had to.  The others respected Annie's authority even though at seventeen she was the youngest in the house.  "But there is a place in New York that might be able to help."  Christy shouldn't even know that school existed, so she kept it vague.  She'd probably have to answer a lot of questions she'd prefer not to if they went to the X-men for help, but Annie was depressed with her only power being her greenness.  Hopefully the girl did have some power she could be proud of.

"What?  How?"  Annie leaned forward in her chair, pushing the budget binder away.

"It's a school.  You'd have to move there."  Christy glanced down and missed the determined gleam coming to Annie's eyes.  "They have ways to help figure out your powers, and they're mutants too.  There is only so much I can do."

They could hear Jessica's car pull up and Christy sat up a bit straighter.  "We can talk about it later."

"Okay."  Annie didn't look very happy with the news, and Christy could understand that.  Moving that far from home wouldn't be easy, but they were getting nowhere at all.  They'd tried everything they could think off.  Annie had spent hours trying to move things with her mind, control fire, read thoughts, pick up heavy things, the list was endless, and none of it ever happened.  Every failure sent the girl into a quiet mood where she'd sit alone in her room and stare at the ceiling. 

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Annie didn't wait for Jessi to come inside, she got up and went to knock on Jon's door.  Jon had given her a heads up for what he was going to bring up today, and it was important.  "Jessi's home.  Time for the meeting."  She called through the door and went to sit back down with Christy.

"I'll be right out.  I'm just finishing up my proposal."  He called back in a serious voice.  Christy had them write out proposals for anything that might cost them a bit of money and they had to sell the idea to the entire group.  Living with Christy was great.  She didn't often lay down the law.  She had rules and procedures, but they all had a say in what those were and understood why they had them.

She remembered how the first of these meetings were called.  The three of them had to share a bathroom and Jessi was in there for a long time every morning.  Jon and Annie were so frustrated with her that they'd gone to Christy to have her tell Jessi not to do that anymore.  They'd expected something completely different from Christy calling a meeting to have them all work out rules for the household, and suggestions to make things run more smoothly.  Christy had them all think of rules on their own and they met a few days later with them.  The teens lists were rather basic, but Christy had some unbelievable ideas that she didn't enforce so much as suggest and ask for input.  That was how the night classes were born, and how the training budget was created.  It was how they became a team… and that is how it felt.  They worked on different research for the same goal, to make sure they weren't caught unprepared, and their helping with the research meant that Christy wasn't on the computer as much and was able to spend time with them to do those night classes.  They learned things that weren't taught in a regular school. 

Jessi was looking for a job that didn't have her working at night so that they could run things more smoothly.  There were four nights that they all trained in something, each one of them teaching something.  There was the meeting night, and then they had two nights to do whatever they wanted.  It was less freedom than Annie had while living at home, but it was so much more fun.

The front door opened just as Annie sat back down in her chair.  Jessi just put her coat away and went to grab something to drink while they talked.  Jon's door opened shortly after that and the tall male came out with a few papers.  Christy's eyes seemed drawn to them, and Annie noticed the woman glancing over at her with a question in her eyes.  Annie nodded that she knew Jon had a proposal today.

"So."  Christy started off as soon as Jon sat down.  "Proposals come before regular business.  What have you got?"  Jon set out his papers and there were a lot more than a normal proposal.  A proposal is a written suggestion and a cost analysis.  He had far more than that, and Annie knew why.  She was feeling a bit nervous about this.  They may all live here, but this was Christy's home.  She acted like they all had an equal say most of the time, but she was the boss.

"There was a murder at Erik's apartment building this week."  Jon pulled out the article from the newspaper.  "The guy lived in the apartment three doors down from him, and Erik's shields broke when he heard the gun go off."  Annie watched Christy pale.  "His empathy… he felt it, and now his shields are so weak that he's having trouble sleeping with all the people around his apartment."

"Oh God, how is he?"  Christy's eyes were wide, and Annie felt a wave of warmth at the obvious concern for her friend. 

"He's not doing too well."  Jon set the article he'd been hiding behind down.  "He can't live around that many people when he's trying to rebuild shields.  He's not that great with them normally and with this… his concentration is shot."

Christy just stared at him, and Annie turned to see Jessi glancing at her.  They all knew about this and had purposely not mentioned it until Jon had the proposal ready.  Annie felt bad about blindsiding Christy with this.

"His parents can't afford a house, and moving to a different apartment wouldn't really help since that is still a lot of people."  Jon took a deep breath, "They would understand if he moved out."

"He's sixteen, isn't he?"  Christy glanced down at the table.  "So you want him to move in here?"

"Yeah."

"Where will we put him?  We ran out of bedrooms."

Jon reached into the pile of papers and pulled out a drawing.  He gave it to Annie and she glanced at it as she passed it on to Christy.  It was a drawing of the downstairs and he'd drawn in a wall down the middle of the office.  They'd turn half of that large room into another bedroom.  "My father can help get us a deal on supplies, and we can put up a wall and closet in one day."  Another paper was passed by Annie, the list of expenses.  Christy just looked at them quietly.

"He's barely sleeping."  Jon said quietly.

"I wasn't thinking about turning him away."  Christy spoke softly to ease all their concerns.  "I'm just trying to figure out the money.  He's not working and it's another mouth to feed.  We'd also have to rotate him into all the schedules."

"I can rework the chore schedules."  Annie felt a smile tugging on her lips.

"I just got put on days at work."  Jessi finally spoke up.  "So training scheduling will be easier."

"He doesn't drive either does he?"  Christy asked quietly.  Annie felt a little embarrassed at that.  She was the only one in the house without a car right now, but the others took her places. 

"No, but he had to drop out of his classes this quarter."  Jon sighed.  "He missed too many days because he's still learning about shielding."

Annie glanced over at Christy's thoughtful face.  One of the rules of living here was that they went to school.

"Well, we need to try and help him with those shields.  He's got to go back for Spring quarter."  Christy sighed, and glanced at Annie.  Annie just nodded that she'd help him, but she had no idea how.  They'd all try to help.  Now Annie could understand how frustrated Christy must feel when she tried to train them.  None of them had mental powers, and didn't really know how to help him.

"I need to talk to him."  Christy said.  "He knows about our rules?"

"Yeah."  Annie answered that one.  "We told him what our schedules are like and everything.  He wants to move in.  The neighbors live far enough away.  He'd only have to block us here, and he can't even feel you."  Christy seemed surprised and Annie grinned, "Apparently you have some serious natural shields."

After a moment of silence Christy pulled the proposal up again.  "I can get the money out of the bank for you.  We should get that wall up as soon as possible, and I'll ask for my mom's van again."

"I'll get my dad's truck too.  His furniture might not all fit in the van." 

"We should move him out soon."  Jessi finally spoke.  She didn't normally say much in the meetings.  "I saw him tonight, and I don't think he's sleeping at all."

"Can we move him in before we put the wall up?"  Christy glanced at Jon.  "We could go get him tonight, move his stuff in tomorrow, and put the wall up on Saturday."

"I don't work tomorrow."  Jessi offered. 

"I can get the day off."  Jon added and then thought a moment.  "I need to call and see if I can get the truck though."

"You do that, and then I'll call my mom."  Christy added in a more upbeat tone.  It had been decided.  Annie didn't know how many more people they could take in.  Thankfully they didn't know anymore mutants right now.

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Once the meeting was over Christy moved to stop Jessi's departure.  "I need to talk to you."  Christy noticed Jessi seemed a bit nervous, and Christy had an idea of what had happened.  The girl had been having no luck finding a job that would let her work part time during the days, and her job had been unwilling to guarantee a shift like that.  They preferred that everyone be flexible.

She led Jessi downstairs to her private living room and sat down while just looking at the girl.  "You saw Erik tonight?"  She spoke quietly and watched the girl clench her jaw.  Dammit, she could understand the temptation to make her employer more understanding, more cooperative, and she had to tell Jessi that what she did was wrong.  "Was he helping you out with something?  Talk to me."

"They were being so stupid."  Jessica spoke quickly with more than a hint of anger.  "It wouldn't have been a big deal to give me the shift and my working nights was screwing things up here."  Jessica sighed and Christy stayed quiet.  "I asked Erik to help me out."

"So you had the exhausted and mentally traumatized sixteen year old come to your work and… what, push your boss to really like you and want to give you what you asked for?"  Christy struggled with what she could possibly say.  Her voice got quieter, "Mental powers like Erik has are very tempting.  I've heard of people abusing them to the point that they have no real friends, just people they control.  We have to watch out for him so he doesn't go down that path, even a good person would be tempted."  She could see the guilt cross Jessi's face.  "I know you meant well, and he probably did too, but be careful."

"So do you want him to undo it?"  Jessi sounded a lot younger at this moment.

Christy sighed.  "Here's where you put me in…"  Christy shook her head, her voice filled with self disgust.  "No, I don't and I hate myself for that.  I'm going to let you both get away with mind raping that man and that just makes me feel like I really don't belong here.  If I'm too weak to resist the temptation, how the hell am I supposed to teach you to?"

"Oh God, I'm sorry."  Jessi looked stunned at the honesty, and that was why Christy had done it.  She should make them undo what they'd done, but it was too hard on the schedules for Jessi to work nights.

"Don't let me become that woman.  The one that does anything to make life easier."  Christy grimaced, "And don't become that woman yourself.  People don't trust people like that, and it's just a really lonely path."      

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